Confidential (25 page)

"Hey honey, it's time to go home." I recognized Anna's voice. We had started referring to home as wherever the two of us ended up. Anna had become
a
sort of lifeline of mine. The only person to count on, that I felt I could trust, and the only person I felt really knew me, or the things I had been through.

I made a noise of protest, and curled up into an even tighter ball. She sighed, "I know you're awake. Come on, if you hurry, we can get food on the way home. Your choice."

Mmmmm. Mexican food. Can I please acclaim that Taco Bell is never, and will never be considered Mexican food? In one of my moments that I actually shared about my past, Camdon asked what was one of the things I missed most about Phoenix.

"Mexican food," I replied honestly.

"Really?" He asked, kind of surprised. He let out a small laugh, slinging an arm around my shoulder and pulling me close. "We have really good Mexican food here too actually."

I frowned and gave him
a
skeptical look. "Doubtful."

"Yeah, I swear." Camdon proceded to convince me to go into town with him, and when we parked at Taco Bell I thought he was joking.

I started to laugh. "Your cute."

"What. This is totally Mexican food."

"Oh my god. You're serious." I looked at him in disbelief.

He just stared back at me, totally clueless. "What's real Mexican food then?"

"It's not Taco Bell."

"So take me to get some "real" Mexican food sometime."

It was one of the closet times we came to talking about me leaving. He never brought it up, and I didn't ever mention it, so it just stayed, silently between us.

At the thought of this my tears came back, and Anna sighed, she had become used to these over the past couple days.

"Let's go Heidi." Her voice was comforting and soft, and it took a huge effort to pull myself from the bunk.

I wiped the tears from my eyes hurriedly, attempting miserably to cover them up.

"What do you want to eat?" Anna was trying to make conversation.

"Anything but Mexican," My mind wanted to be far away from that memory. I honestly wasn't sure how much more I could take.

"That's fine." Anna spent the next half an hour finding food and getting me back to her apartment, all settled on her pull out couch. She tucked me in, like a mother would do for a small child.

"Have you talked to Camdon yet?" Anna asked, adding an extra blanket on me.

"No." I sniffled. "I haven't been able to bring him up to Dylan or Marcus yet either. So I don't know how he is, or what he's been doing…" My mind wandered off to all the girls at school that would be trying to get Camdon, now that he was free. I instantly got insanely jealous, and incredibly sad.

"You should really give him a call. You guys were too close to let this just die." At her words I burst into tears and put my head into the pillow, tired of crying. Anna continued to talk. "I know how much you cared about him. And I know how much this hurts, and I'm telling you this as general advice. Focus on the trial, I know that's hard to do," she put in, as if she sensed my groan, "but its important for your life and so many others. This is personal for you now; you got a little taste of how these people have changed so many lives. I'm sorry you had to get pulled around like this, but if you can put these people away, think of how many others you will save from suffering."

"I didn't ask for this." I whispered, my tears were quietly falling, my pillow soaking up the wetness. "I hate it."

Anna paused, and sat down next to me. "Do you know why I decided to become a detective? Or even join this case?"

I shook my head, turning my body look at her. Her usual smiling face took on an almost somber tone.

"I had an older brother, who was… difficult, I guess. I was only a couple years younger than him, and I always had a soft spot for him, even when people told me he took a turn for the worst. I did anything he wanted. When we were little, it was cover for him, where he would go. When we got older, I gave him money. Eventually, I just couldn't do it anymore, and it was the one of the hardest things I ever had to do, and I felt like I gave up on him, but I turned him away once, and I never saw him again." She was looking off to the side, revisiting a past that hurt her so much. "When we were in high school, he started getting into heavier and heavier drugs, heroin usually, and would disappear for days at a time, only to come home really strung out." I listened in a respectful silence, as she continued, "He eventually started getting some big money, and, as I later found out, was working for Mickey's people." I was a little shocked, but tried not to interrupt her. "He did something, I'll never know what, but it ended up getting him killed."

We sat there in silence. She added, "For a long time, I blamed Mickey, this drug lord, who I figured had tipped my brother over the edge, but he was already there. I just couldn't see it."

"I'm sorry Anna," I sat up and gave her a hug. She gave me a squeeze before getting up, "Get some sleep, I'll wake you in the morning. " At one final glance, she said "I know being away from Camdon is really hard, but you could have to deal with things so much worse. If you put her away, they'll be nothing there to stop you from going to see him."

It was a comforting thought, and it helped, as I drifted off to sleep.

*  *  *

"We have a surprise for you." Patrick said cheerfully.

"What." Was my reply, completely void of all emotion. The first day of the trial was tomorrow, and if I wasn't being grilled by someone, they were freaking out as to how to make me look most innocent, or coaching me on how to present myself. The whole office was buzzing with activity, and yet time was still found to send someone over to bother me.

This time it was Patrick, and even though he was one of the few people I actually was being warm to, didn't mean he wasn't bothering me.

Anna's talk had made me slightly better, if by better you mean functional. Which was more than I could have hoped for. I no longer cried endlessly, because I actually focused on something, and wanted to try and help out, instead of wallow in my endless misery and heartbreak.

"You'll have to wait and find out! Otherwise, it wouldn't be a surprise. Stay here." He told me, as if it was normal of me to be up and moving around in this mayhem.

Anna rushed up to me once Patrick left my side. "Has he told you he has a surprise for you yet?" She asked hurriedly.

"Yes… But not in the same manner you have." It was true. She had a worried, angsty look on her face.

She let out a sigh of frustration. "Are you serious? I told him not to-" Her voice was angry. "Anyways, they are going to get your parents now. I told them not to make it a surprise, that you needed some warning; you haven't seen them in months-Heidi? You okay?"

I automatically started panicking. "He WHAT?"

"I know! I know! I told him not to, but by the time he had told me it was too late! You hate these type of surprises." She looked up nervously, "I have to go, or he'll know I warned you. I know it's not much of a warning, but its something. Good luck!" She darted away quickly.

I sat in the chair, frozen, for

One…

Two…

Three…

Four…

Long seconds before I heard a voice scream.

"OH MY GOD YOUR BLONDE."

Yes mother. I am blonde.

Her hands instantly went to my hair, "And look, Colin, she's even got waves. Did you do your hair this morning? Or is this a loose perm."

My dad, being the sensible and loving man I know he is, shoved my mother out of the way and picked me up in a stifling hug. "I missed you so much." His voice was shaky as he squeezed me tighter, not letting me go. "We were so afraid, we had no idea where you were, we weren't allowed to talk to you," His voice broke at that.

"Oh Daddy," I said, my eyes getting teary again, I hadn't thought about how much information they had been given. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and hugged him back. "I'm fine. Anna kept me safe." He pulled away to see whom I was referring to.

I was then bombarded by my mother, who seemed to have found her tears. Because we had an audience, it was a little on the theatrical side, but I knew it was real when she hugged me, snagged her dress and didn't even notice. Mom. You do care.

I smiled to myself, feeling happy for the first time since I left Iowa. I had tears for a different reason now, as the entire police department started cheering and clapping, they were as happy for us as we were.

They gave us a nice room to talk, not wanting me to go home yet.

My dad was the first to speak, "Are you okay? What happened?"

It seemed so long ago; it was like reaching into another world to find answers. "How much do you guys know?"

"Nothing." My mother huffed. "They wouldn't
tell
us anything except that you had some important information that you needed to testify about, and that they were taking you somewhere to keep you safe."

"I tried to get you back, but it was
a
court order." My dad explained, as if worried that I thought they had abandoned me.

"I can't really tell you." I said.

"Honey." My dad's voice was tense, "Now is not the time to keep secrets, your mom and I deserve some answers."

"Its not that, I've had an exhausting couple of days. I hope you understand. I can't really fill you in on months worth of time. I just want to get through this trial, and figure things out."

"When is this
trial
?" My mother's voice held her unbelieving tone. As if this was all
a
joke, and there was really no such thing.

"Tomorrow is the first day. I testify either the third or fourth day, depending how time goes." I explained calmly, it was easy to talk about simple facts.

"We'll be there," My dad grabbed my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. I smiled in thanks.

"Where did they take you anyway?" Her forehead crinkling ever so slightly, as she wondered out loud.

"Um. Iowa. They sent me to Iowa."

"Iowa?" My mother sputtered, she burst out laughing. "How in God's name did you survive in little ol'
Iowa?
" She shook her head and shuddered, "Ugh, I bet that place was wretched. It's so flat. There is absolutely nothing, and I mean nothing, there."

"Actually," I said, my voice a little icy, "There's a lot of really great people there."

"Oh sweetie, I wasn't trying to insult the friends you made, I'm sure everyone there was very… nice, I'm just saying its so different than from what you're used to,"