Confessions of an Alli Cat (22 page)

My insides melt and I fall into bed, yanking the covers up and over my head.  What the hell am I going to do?

********

Monday comes all too soon and I don’t have any answers by then, either.  I do take extra care getting ready for work.  I dress in a pale gray pencil skirt, a pale pink silk blouse and dark gray heels.  The skirt makes my ass look fabulous and the silk shirt clings to my girls.  I know that I look good as I stride into my office. 

Taylor looks up and smiles.

“Morning, boss!” She hands me a stack of messages.  “There’s fresh coffee on your desk.”

Oh, how I love that girl.

But when I reach my desk, I see the local coffee house cup and I know that it wasn’t Taylor.  It was Alex.  He’s been bringing me this coffee because he knows I like it.  My insides melt again as I drop into my chair. 

It feels good to be taken care of, even in this small way. 

I open up my email and sift through them, answering a few and deleting a few others.  And then Taylor knocks softly on my office door.

“Hey, boss.  Your new intern is here.”

Her face looks strange and I raise my eyebrow. 

“What?” I ask her.  She takes a step into my office and lowers her voice.

“He’s freaking hot,” she whispers.  “He’s going to be quite the distraction in the workplace. You can expect productivity to decrease ten-fold with him here.”

I roll my eyes.  Taylor is in her twenties, so a twenty-three year old intern probably will be a distraction for her. 

“Are you going to be able to control yourself?” I ask jokingly.  “You’ve got to figure out things for him to do.”

“Oh, I can think of some things for him to do,” she says lasciviously, and then laughs.  I roll my eyes again .

“Just show him in before you pounce on him, please.  The last thing we need is a sexual harassment suit.”

She grins and is gone.  And then she’s back within a minute.  It takes me a second to realize that the shadow following her is Colby.

As in… Shade.

What.

The.

Hell.

I am staring at him with my mouth open as Sara introduces him to me.  But I barely hear her voice. The sound is roaring in my ears.  I’m just flabbergasted.  And Colby’s grin is mischievous, his eyes sparkling.  It’s almost as if he knew, like he was expecting to see me. 

I stand up stiffly, holding my hand out. 

“Hi Colby.  It’s nice to see you again,” I say for Taylor’s benefit.  I shake the hand that has been everywhere on my body, the fingers that have been inside of my mouth…and other places.  My eyes never leave his and the ornery expression never disappears from his face. 

He knew. 

I am sure of it. 

“You already know each other?” Taylor is surprised as she stares at me. 

My eyes haven’t left Colby’s.  “Yes.  Colby is Sophie’s new swim coach.”

“Ah,” Taylor answers, practically fawning over Colby.  “That makes sense.  You look like a swimmer,” she tells him.  He grins at her. 

“Thank you, Taylor,” I tell her.  “I’ll just take a few minutes to talk with Colby about the position.  Can you close my door?”

She looks intrigued, but she does as I ask and I am alone with Colby. 

I fight to stay calm as the ramifications of this scenario hit home with me. 

Colby is Shade. 

Shade is a gigolo whom I slept with.

Shade’s father is Alex who I have a crush on. 

Oh, sweet Lord.

My life is an endless series of complications.

“You knew,” I say softly.  “You knew when you came in here today that I would be here, didn’t you?”

Colby grins, his blue eyes sparkling. 

“Yes.  My dad called last week and gave me your name so that I would know who to ask for.”

In a valiant effort to hold my shit together, I take three deep breaths before answering him.

“And you didn’t say anything to me on Friday night because?”  I raise an eyebrow now and swallow hard as I remember what we did together on Friday. 

“Because I thought it would be fun to surprise you,” he admits, taking a step toward me.  I take a step back, then in fact, I retreat behind my desk.  There is laughter in his eyes when I meet his gaze.

“Alli, why are you running from me?”  His blue eyes are sparkling.  “This doesn’t change anything.  In fact, I only took this position after my dad told me who to ask for.  I have to admit, I thought it would be fun to work here with you.  But that doesn’t change our weekend activities.  You’ve seen me coach Sophie.  I’m very good at compartmentalizing things.  I can handle everything. Trust me.”

He’s so cute.  So, so cute. 

And so, so young. 

Did I mention so, so young?

I make a decision, on the spot, without even consulting BB and I know she will kill me later.

I also know that I might live to regret it, but I know I have to do it.

And seriously, as I gaze at him, at how young and gorgeous he is, my resolve wavers.  But then I remember that I can’t keep paying him to fill a void in my life.  Because as long as I do that, I won’t move forward and find something real. 

So, I sigh while BB silently wails. I know that if she could, she’d be punching me in the pelvic floor right now. 

“Colby, you are adorable. And we’ve had a lot of fun.  But this does complicate things.  But even still, I do believe that this is a great opportunity for you while you’re figuring out what you want to do in life.  So, I’m going to end our...other relationship.  It’s fulfilled its purpose anyway.  I needed you to get me ready to date again.  And you have.  So, thank you.  It’s been really fun.”

Colby stares at me, all amusement gone from his eyes now.  In fact, I see dismay there as he realizes what I’m saying.  And honestly, I can’t quite believe I’m saying it. Am I seriously going to break up the perfect arrangement for something that may or may not ever happen? 

But I picture Alex’s handsome face and I steel my resolve.

Yes.  I am. 

“It’s been really fun?  Alli, come on.  I promise.  I can handle this.  No one will ever know that we know each other from elsewhere.”

“Oh, I know,” I tell him.  “But see, that’s the problem. 
I
will know.  And I know that you won’t say anything.  But I’m not as good at compartmentalizing as you are.  I can’t continue to see you and work with you here.  I’m not that talented.”

Colby throws his head back and laughs now.  “Alli, you’re far more talented than you think.”

I shake my head.  “See?  This is what I’m talking about.  If you throw sexual innuendoes at me, I can’t concentrate on work.  And I’m here to work during the day.  Plus, having you and your dad both here is just twenty different kinds of wrong if I’m still seeing you.  So I’m not going to.”

Colby is quiet as he assesses me. 

“My dad.  You know, when you told me that you needed distracting, I wondered if it was because you may have met someone.  Were you talking about my dad?”

I hesitate for a moment too long before answering, because Colby almost gasps. 

“You were.”

I nod. 

“You have a thing for my dad,” Colby says slowly as if he’s trying to make himself understand it. 

“I might,” I say.  “I’m trying to figure that out.”

Colby shakes his head.  “Well, I’ve taught you well.  At least I know my dad will be taken care of.”  He laughs because he means it as a joke.  But I shudder.

“See?  This is all just too weird,” I say, feeling a little sick to my stomach.  “I can’t date your dad now.  There’s no way in the world.  And does your dad know what you do?”

I sink into my chair, my head in my hands.  Why does my life have to be so messed up?

Colby comes around and massages my shoulders lightly. 

“No, my dad doesn’t know what I do.  And
yes
, Alli, you can date my dad.  In fact, I talked to him yesterday on the phone and he sounded happier than he has sounded in a long time.  I asked him if a woman was to blame for that and he told me that he had met someone, but that he couldn’t date her because it was complicated.”

I nod miserably.  “It’s even more complicated than he knows. And this isn’t helping,” I answer.

Colby stops massaging my shoulders and bends, looking me in the eye.

“Alli, I know my father and I know you.  You are perfect for each other.  I know it seems strange, but we’ll stop seeing each other and after a while, we’ll practically forget that we were ever a thing.  It won’t be a big deal at all.”

“But I don’t know if I can date your dad knowing that I slept with his son,” I practically whisper. Saying it out loud makes it sound so seedy and horrible and dramatic, like I should be on a bad soap opera.

Colby rolls his eyes.

“Alli, my dad will never know.  And you didn’t sleep with his son.  You slept with Shade.  My dad’s son is Colby.  We’re two different people.  And my dad will never, ever know.”

“You might be two different people, but you share the same penis,” I remind him wryly.  Colby laughs. 

“Either way.  My sex life isn’t my dad’s concern.  People don’t need to disclose who they’ve had sex with in the past.  It will be fine, Alli. And I can’t believe that I have to stand here and talk to you like this.  You and my dad need to figure it out.  It’s stupid to let a job get in the way of happiness.”

I stare at him.  “How did you get so smart for a twenty-three year old?”

He just smiles, a young and handsome grin.

“I guess it’s a family trait.  Now, Alli Cat, changing the subject…what are you going to have me do here at Zellers?”

I square my shoulders, back to business. 

“Well, first, I’ll tell you what you won’t be doing.  You won’t be calling me Alli Cat.  Someone might hear you.”

Colby grins.  “I promise. When I walk out that door, I will pretend that the only way I know you is through your daughter.  But in here,” and he taps his temple.  “You will always be Alli Cat.”

I sigh. 

“Taylor will be your supervisor,” I tell him.  “Not me.  I mean, you’ll ultimately report to me, but Taylor will oversee your duties. I think she’s lined up some marketing research for you to do. She’s interesting and very good at her job.  And she’s every bit as much of a firecracker as my friend Sara is, so may God have mercy on your soul.”

He’s laughing as he walks out to see Taylor.

And I’m dropping my head back into my hands.

What a freaking mess. 

Chapter Twenty

(Or:  Decisions will be the effing death of me)

Colby is quite a hit in the office.

Every time I walk out of my own office for anything, I see the women (young and old) staring at him discreetly.  He seems to be oblivious to it, but surely he has to know. He has to feel all of those pairs of eyes glued to his every movement.  But then again, he’s probably used to it.

Oddly enough, I’m not jealous.  It’s that realization that lets me know that I’m doing the right thing.

And every time I see him and Alex standing side by side, I
know
that I’m doing the right thing. 

Colby is young and handsome and sexy.

Alex is older, refined and sexy.  Every bit as handsome and twice the experience.  He’s what I need. 

He’s what I need.

The words resonate in my head. 

And today, when Alex glances up and catches my eye, his cobalt gaze is warm and sparkling, like he knows a secret.  And I see now why I kept thinking he looked familiar.  He and his son share the same exact eyes.  I don’t know how I didn’t place that trait before. 

He slaps Colby on the back and makes his way over to me. 

From behind him, Colby gives me a stare. 

A
make-the-right-choice-you-idiot
stare. 

I ignore it.  I know that he’s waiting for his father and I to make the leap—to throw caution to the wind and just openly begin dating. But that’s a hard decision to make, for many different reasons.

As Alex walks towards me, Colby is acting like this is a moment of truth, a pivotal moment where I have to act.  But that’s not true.  I can continue to take things slow.  Alex will still be here.  And I will be here.

But we still work together right now, which is a problem.

However, when Alex reaches me and I stare into his gorgeous eyes, I have to admit that I feel the pressure to make a decision….to somehow figure out how to make this work.  Because there is such chemistry here, such a palpable attraction, that I’m not sure how much longer I want to resist it.  Opportunities don’t always knock more than once.  I don’t want to miss the chance to build a relationship with someone that is seemingly so perfect for me. 

“I still can’t get over that Colby is your daughter’s swim coach,” Alex says as he stops next to me.  “What a small world.”

I practically choke.  He has no idea how small. 

“Can I talk to you for a second?” he asks me quietly. 

Taylor and Colby both pretend not to watch, but I can see them both gazing at us from the corner of their eyes as Alex and I step into my office.

“Of course,” I say instead, closing my door firmly behind us.  “Please, have a seat.”

“In a minute,” he says, striding toward me.  He takes my face in his hands and crushes his lips to mine. 

It is a consuming kiss that threatens to set my hair on fire. 

I am gasping by the time it is over.

“I just needed to see,” he murmurs as he steps away. 

“See what?” I ask breathlessly.  I am limp.  I don’t even know what to do.

“See if that would be as good as I imagined.”

“And?” I breathe.

“Oh, it was better,” he assures me.  “Alli, we need to sort this thing out.  I’ve been lying awake at night thinking about you.  It can’t be that difficult.  You’re attracted to me, I’m attracted to you.  We’re both adults.  It’s not rocket science.”

“But we work together,” I state simply.  “It will be awkward.”

“It will only be awkward if we make it that way,” he answers firmly.  “But how about this--go on a date with me.  Let’s see how we get along outside of the realm of work or business.  And then, if we still feel the same way, we’ll discuss all of these issues.  There is no sense in worrying about it right now.  We haven’t even been on a date.”