Confessions of a Naughty Night Nurse (16 page)

Really?

Now?

Damn that tug in my belly was back, that furiously insistent pull that was demanding satisfaction with flesh and not some silicone moulding.

Javier’s offer was tempting. More than tempting. It seemed like a great opportunity after my recent let-downs by Carl.

But I was supposed to be watching the cupboard.

‘Sharon, why do you look so worried?’ he said, sliding his hand up my arm to my shoulder. ‘You do not think I will show you a good time?’

‘It’s not that,’ I said. ‘I just …’ OK, so maybe I could leave the cupboard for half an hour; but I had to ask him about Iceberg. What was going on between them? I didn’t want her secondhand goods, that was enough to put me off the whole idea.

‘Just what?’ He leaned closer, slid his other hand around my waist.

‘Javier.’ I pressed my palms against his hard chest, his pectoral muscles solid rises of warm flesh beneath my hands. ‘I just need to know, there’s this rumour, you see.’

‘A rumour?’

‘Yes, about you.’

He pulled back, looked down at me, his lips a straight, tight line. ‘So tell me. I do not like the fact that people talk about me.’

‘Well …’ Why did the words feel like they were stockpiling on my tongue? Buck up. Just say it.

‘Sharon?’

‘You and Iceberg,’ I blurted. ‘I mean, Lisa Stanton, you know, senior night nurse.’

‘What about her?’

‘Are you shagging her?’

‘What?’ He stepped away as though I’d just electrocuted him. Raised his eyebrows and shoved his hand through his luscious thick hair. ‘My goodness, no, people are really saying that?’

‘Yes, lots of people. Apparently a porter saw you at it, in out-patients.’

‘Well, that is ridiculous.’ He stepped away, rubbed his hand up and down his face. ‘Completely untrue. Why would the man say such a thing?’

I could have punched the air with relief. Of course it was untrue. The whole idea of him and Iceberg was preposterous.

‘And people believe this lie?’ he asked. ‘That there is a romance between me and her? I don’t mean to sound unkind, but she is not really my type.’

My thoughts exactly. ‘She isn’t?’

‘No.’ He stepped closer again, cupped my cheeks in his palms. ‘For the record, you are my type. Sharon, I have wanted you for so long. Too long. It pains my heart that we are both too busy to spend time together.’

‘So why am I your type?’

‘I have told you before. Pretty and intelligent, and your body, I just want to worship you, hold you in my arms and feel you melt against me.’

I looked up into his dark eyes. He had beautiful long lashes and skin like silken caramel. Melting against him seemed like a reasonable option for the next half an hour.

‘OK,’ I said, touching his smooth cheek. ‘Let’s take that interlude.’

The right side of his mouth twitched and a flash went across his eyes. ‘Ah, my
bella
, you won’t regret.’ He linked his fingers with mine and led me the dozen steps back to the pharmacy office.

I’d left it in darkness, and Javier didn’t bother to turn the light on when we went inside. Instead, as soon as the door shut, he swept me into his arms and kissed me with fervour. I pressed my body into his and the evidence of his arousal shoved into my abdomen.

Finally, some action. Good, solid action by the feel of it.

I pushed his white coat from his shoulders, heard it land on the floor. He tugged up the skirt of my uniform and roamed his hands over my satin knickers, tracing the outline of my buttocks without once breaking the kiss, his tongue an insistent force searching my mouth.

Damn, he tasted delicious; spicy and rich, maybe with a hint of coffee. Not like Carl’s fresh, sweetness.

Carl!

‘Ah, baby, you are a doll in my arms. I want to love you so much,’ Javier whispered into my ear, his accent thicker than usual. ‘So perfect, so delicious, you are my every fantasy come true.’

‘Really?’ I was a little breathless his kisses were so enthusiastic.

‘Oh, really.’ He groaned. ‘I am so hard for you. So long being so hard for you.’

That hardness was straining at my hip but I had other ideas of where I wanted it. I tugged at his top, pulled it over his head and threw it on the floor. ‘Condom,’ I gasped.

‘Yes, here. In my wallet.’ He released me, stooped, scrabbled, then was up and over me again.

I shoved at my knickers, felt blindly for the sofa and dropped down onto my back. Damn, I was hot for him. Carl had teased me once too often. All this rubbish about dates and dinner and being old-fashioned.

Carl!

An image of him hovered before me in the darkness. I could hear Javier breathing heavily as he rolled on the condom. He didn’t sound like Carl, not his voice but not his breathing either. And he didn’t smell like Carl.

I wondered if Carl would take off his glasses to make love. I’d never seen him without them. Not that I was complaining, they were sexy in a way that was newly appealing to me.

‘
Bella
, where are you? It is so dark,’ Javier said, shuffling towards me. He touched my arm. ‘Ah, there you are. Come here, let’s finally be as one.’ He moved over me, his heat, his smell, his weight, all folding down on my body, suppressing me.

I suddenly felt as though I’d been punched in the chest. My breath stuttered and a rise of panic made the hairs on my nape spike.

Shit. I don’t want to do this!

Those words flooded my mind. It was like having someone shout them loud and clear. But the shout was in my voice and held a note of anger.

A realisation of what I did want flashed in front of me. Bright and gaudy like Las Vegas sign-lights, the clarity of the message could not be ignored.

I wanted Carl. Just Carl.

Having Javier inside me would be no better than the vibrator. A substitute – Quorn not beef, water not wine.

I wanted more than this. I wanted to believe in the person attached to the sex drive. For so long I’d been using guys for their appendages and between-the-sheets talent, but not any more. That had to stop.

Carl had gotten under my skin. He’d wormed his way into my head and, dare I admit it, my heart too.

The thought of Javier kissing me, entering me, just didn’t appeal the way it used to. I liked Carl kissing me, Carl holding me, dancing with me, talking to me.

Damn it, he’d ruined everyone else for me.

The sudden change in my mindset was too powerful to ignore. I had to get out of there. Ditch Javier and go and apologise to Carl, see if I could salvage what we’d started together.

My first instinct was to clamp my legs shut. But when I tried I realised that Javier was already settled between my thighs.

‘No,’ I said, trying to sit.

‘Yes,’ he murmured, connecting his chest to mine and finding my mouth. ‘Ah, yes, so sweet.’

I shoved at his shoulders. Tore my lips from his. ‘Javier. I’ve made a mistake. I can’t do this.’ Bloody hell, why was he so big and heavy? It was like having a damn concrete slab lying over me.

‘Yes, you can do this. Yes, I am big but not so big that you won’t be able to take it.’ He stroked my hair. ‘Don’t be scared of Javier’s penis, just relax and let it in.’

‘No, no, it’s not that.’ As if!

‘Let me give you great pleasure,
bella
Sharon.’

‘But I don’t want to, I’m … I’m with someone else.’

‘Well, he is not keeping you satisfied if you are here with me.’ He prodded my entrance with the tip of his cock. ‘Let me do his job for him. I will make you more satisfied than you have been ever before.’

‘No, I can’t, please.’ I shoved harder, tried to twist away. Months of anticipating, dreaming of this moment and now it was the absolute last thing I wanted. I felt sick, panicked. Jesus, was this rape if I’d wanted it until the final moment before penetration? I didn’t know, but what I did know was that I had to get him off me.

I kicked, twisted my body, put all my strength into pushing his shoulders.

‘Sharon,
bella,
what are you –?’

A sudden wild beeping filled the small room. Fast and furious, an insistent, manic alarm. It was his pager. The rapid, loud tone indicating that he was needed urgently, patient-about-to-die urgently.

We both stilled.

Surely he wouldn’t ignore it.

‘
Cazzo
!’ Javier said, his dense weight lifting. ‘
Cazzo
, my
bella
. The timing could not be worse. I have to go.’

Relief washed over me. Never before had I been so glad to hear that crazy noise. Usually it instilled dread. Someone was critical. It was a call to action. But not right now. Now I was hugely grateful that it had come to my aid. Javier had been big and powerful over me, sheathed up and about to plunge.

Maybe he would have stopped when my pleas registered.

Maybe he wouldn’t.

I’d never know. But it had been a close call and my breathing was rapid and my pulse rattling in my chest. I drew my legs together, wrapped my arms around my waist and remained seated on the sofa, hugging myself tight.

Javier was hopping about and cursing in the absolute darkness. I heard the rustle of material, his brisk breaths and a few more Italian curse words, then the door flew open.

A dribble of light trickled in as his footsteps beat into the distance.

I saw my knickers abandoned by the bin and reached for them. As I tugged them on I spotted Javier’s wallet on the floor next to a purple condom wrapper.

Grabbing both, I stood. He’d probably gone to attend to the patient he and Carl had been operating on. The person who’d kept bleeding in theatre. Poor bugger.

I should get Javier’s wallet to him though, as soon as possible; then I could avoid him until he went to St George’s. There was no way I wanted a repeat performance of what had nearly been a completely disastrous half hour in an otherwise totally rubbish night.

Disastrous?

Yes, disastrous, dreadful, catastrophic.

I had to admit it. My once-shattered heart was on the mend. Not only that, it was beginning to beat for someone new. Someone sweet and charming, clever and with a future we could maybe share.

Standing in the doorway, I heard more thudding footsteps. They were coming from the opposite direction to the way Javier had taken off.

I paused, wondering which one of the crash team it would be. I’d stand still so that I wouldn’t get in their way.

A figure with wild hair, a flapping white coat and black glasses careered around the corner. He looked like a train about to go off the rails, his feet going faster than his body, his arms windmilling. With an outstretched hand he steadied himself on the wall and then hurtled towards me, head down.

Carl!

Shit.

He spotted me, skidded to a halt, his shoes making a squeaky, braking sound on the polished floor.

‘You seen, Javier?’ he panted.

‘Yes, he’s just gone that way.’ I pointed. ‘About ten seconds ago.’

‘Great. I didn’t fancy being the only surgeon to respond.’

‘No, he’s just ahead of you.’

‘Good.’ He looked about to take off again but hesitated, his attention on my hand. The one I was using to point the way.

His mouth opened. No words came out.

Double shit!

He was staring at Javier’s wallet, but not just Javier’s wallet, also the purple condom wrapper I held trapped beneath my thumb. It was sticking up, the ripped section jagged.

‘What’s that?’ he asked.

Hurriedly I shoved the wallet and wrapper into my pocket. ‘Nothing.’

‘It is?’

‘You should go.’ I nodded up the corridor.

‘Why are you holding a wallet and a condom wrapper?’

‘I just found it, in there. I’m going to hand it in at reception so whoever lost it can pick it up.’

‘You’re going to hand in a condom wrapper?’ There was incredulousness in his tone.

‘Well, no, obviously not that, it can go in the bin.’ I rolled my eyes. ‘Someone has must been having a bit of down and dirty in the pharmacy on-call room. Probably Hartley and Emily.’ I managed a strained laugh.

‘No, I just left Hartley.’ He narrowed his eyes. There was no humour in his expression.

‘You really should go, Carl. Someone is probably dying because you’re standing here, wondering about this stupid wrapper and wallet.’

He pushed his glasses into place. ‘Who does the wallet belong to?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Just flick it open and look at the driving licence or something.’

‘No, it’s not my place to. I just found it. You should go.’

‘Have a look.’

‘No.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because I don’t want to. Go, quickly.’

He squashed his lips together and after a quick look at the dark room behind me, ran off.

I stared at his retreating back. Bloody hell, why did it have to be Carl to come running around the corner at that moment? Just when I’d finally accepted that I wanted more with him, he found me holding a condom wrapper and Javier’s wallet.

I sighed heavily as a hard lump of remorse landed in my belly. I’d kept my emotions suppressed for so long, not allowing myself to feel anything more than fondness for my friends-with-benefits, but now, tonight, the very moment I admitted that Carl was piercing my vulnerable core, the very centre of my soul, he discovered the real me.

And didn’t like it.

I knew that for sure.

There had been something in his eyes, in that last glance. He’d seen the dark room and the wrapper. My uniform dishevelled, my hair ratty and my lipstick smudged.

Carl was a clever bloke, his IQ topping most people’s. He’d guessed my secret. Well, half of it anyway. Yes, I’d been in there with a bloke, about to satisfy the craving he’d been stoking in me for weeks, but what he didn’t know was I hadn’t gone through with it.

I looked guilty as hell, but in actual fact I was completely innocent. Well, completely was maybe stretching it, but I was certainly more innocent than guilty.

I went back into the office. Flicked on the light and dropped on the sofa I’d been sprawled on minutes before – sprawled on thinking of Carl and wishing it was him about to make love to me. I’d ruined my chance with the one bloke I’d cared about in years. He’d spend the next few hours with Javier and their sick patient. Javier was bound to notice his missing wallet at some point, comment, and Carl would put two and two together quicker than arterial blood hits the ceiling. Add in the wrapper, the room, my dishevelled state and his suspicions would be confirmed.