Confessions of a Military Wife (2 page)

Ted assigned Gloria Beverage as my editor (AKA: “genius extraordinaire”). “G”, as I nicknamed her early on, is a wordsmith with the ability to cut through 100 words of ADHD gibberish and make it into two sentences that make sense. When I was way too in my head, she explained my thoughts fluidly. Thank you for your patience, especially when I would not let go of a topic that I just had to include. Thank you for assuring me that, “Yes, Mollie, it’s still funny.”

Sarah Keeney, Savas Beatie’s Marketing Director, kept me focused and directed. Her patience has been greatly appreciated during this process. Thanks for answering all my questions! Thanks also to marketing assistants Tammy Hall and Veronica Kane, who are doing wonderful work to help make this book successful.

Indrek Mändmets of Indrek Mändmets Photography brought my idea of combat boots, dog tags, and heels to life. His attention to detail is superb! James Zach of ZGrafix, assigned to the project by Savas Beatie—and the same great designer who did the stunning jacket cover for
Once a Marine—
took this idea and created a book cover that had me screaming with excitement! The hot pink sent me over the top! I could not have imagined anything more perfect. Thanks, Jim!

Henry Ho is the genius behind my marketing, press kit, and web site. His skills and creativity synced everything together and the outcome was streamlined. Henry brought me to the level of professionalism I had been striving for. If I have the idea, he can make it happen. He gets me focused and tolerates my midnight emails.

To my attorneys Michael and Scott at Loeb & Loeb (who I drive nuts): thank you for letting me have my way.

Special thanks to Christi Smith, who designed and created “
Semper
FI
esty” for my tour! I love your positive energy! “
Semper
FI
esty” encapsulates the energy and pride all military wives should feel. There are so many military wives, military small business owners, veterans, and friends who have done so much for me as far as getting the word out there about what I do—from taking pictures of me on location to writing something up on me for the newspaper or an online blog.

Special thanks to “KK” and my biggest fan Hank Salmans at Devil Dog Brew. Your encouragement kept me going.

To our parents and family, thank you for all your love and support, especially during those tough years. We love you.

I know there are others out there, and if I forgot to mention you, please know I know how much you meant to me and this project. Each relationship I have made along the way means so much to me. I keep you all in my prayers every night. Thank you again for your support while I am on tour, writing, or just trying to lift your spirits on line!

Chapter One

BEFORE

I hear more noises and now I’m sure an intruder is in my house. While I’m scared, I’m also pissed. As the wife of an infantryman who is always gone, I have had to learn to fend for myself.

I slowly reach for the Taser under the bed, but can’t find it. Now I’m in complete panic mode and begin to move quickly.

“Where is the damn mace?” I wonder as I crawl along the floor headed for the bathroom. That’s when I realize the mace is by the front door.

Adding to my rising anxiety, I am now on the opposite side of the room. I’m too far away from the phone to be able to quickly call for help.

I hear someone rummaging through our cabinets! I take comfort in the fact that we survive on a meager $400 a week, which means there is nothing worth stealing in this house.

Still, I am chilled to the bone with fear. I try to take comfort in the fact that I live in base housing, which is guarded by men carrying guns. I’m one of the few who continues to lock my doors. I know anyone who really wanted to could get on base.

I grab a can of generic strawberry body spray and hold it in front of me in a defiant gesture of self-defense as I slowly move down the hall.

I find myself thinking, “Why did I leave South Carolina to be here by myself all the time? My husband is never around to protect me; he’s too busy fighting for other people! Why didn’t I marry a banker? Do banker’s wives have to fight off intruders by themselves in the middle of the night?”

By now my breathing is so shallow that I have become dizzy with fear and a lack of oxygen.

I creep into the laundry room, where I hear the intruder. I hold up the can, ready to fight him off with body spray. There is someone in the room with me.

I flip on the light and come face-to-face with a nude man! As he spins toward me I see his camouflage-painted face and we both scream. I spray him directly in the face with a generous amount of my special strawberry and cream repellent before taking off running down the hall.

Within seconds, a pair of muscled arms grab me around the waist and I begin yelling “RAPE!” I turn to face my attacker. His black, brown, and green face is staring at me just inches from my own.

That’s when it registers. The face with the strange colors belongs to my husband. By now his eyes are swollen and he’s coughing.

In unison, we ask, “What is wrong with you? What are you doing?”

He’s the first to answer.

“We got done in the field early, so I thought I’d surprise you.”

“Some surprise,” I respond angrily. “You’re lucky I keep the mace by the front door.”

Relieved, I escort my nude and very dirty Marine to the bathroom, where I spray him down to get all the dirt and camo face paint off.

As his smile emerges, my fear and anger begin to melt away. I haven’t seen him for days, and realize how good it is to have my love home.

My anxiety melts away as he takes me in his arms. I feel safe and whole again.

We laugh and then I kiss lips that still smell of strawberries.

As we head for the bedroom, I think, “Let those other women marry bankers. I’ve got myself a Marine.”

FINDING LOVE AT A FISH FRY

Jon and I met at a fish fry. My roommate was dating a graduate from the Citadel, a military college in South Carolina. His mother decided to host a company party at the end of the summer to reunite the boys of Hotel (H) Company.

I wasn’t interested in going to the party. I already had a date with another Citadel graduate I had picked up while driving my car down Rosewood Avenue.

Plus, I was, well, boy crazy. As my mother put it, “blink and you might miss one” of my boyfriends.

So I had other plans for that night and they didn’t involve a fish fry in the country. However, my girlfriend begged me to come with her so she wouldn’t be the only girl there. She cinched the deal by assuring me there would be plenty of cute boys to flirt with throughout the day.

As we were getting ready for the party, she pulled out the Citadel yearbook so I could check out some of the guys who would be at the party.

That’s when my eyes settled on 2nd Lieutenant Jon Gross. He was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen—a great tan, dark hair, and gorgeous hazel eyes.

I couldn’t contain myself. “Who’s that,” I screamed.

“Jon? He joined the Marines right after college, but no one’s heard from him since. He won’t be attending the party,” she assured me. I was bummed.

“He’s too quiet for you anyway, Mollie,” she explained. “He never had a girlfriend in college—spent all his time studying instead.”

At the fish fry I did my best to flirt with all the guys, but my heart wasn’t really into it. (I had been raised in the South, so flirting comes naturally.)

While I was eating, I looked up and caught my breath! Walking up the driveway was the guy from the yearbook—Jon Gross.

As the other guests cheered his arrival, I knew my mystery cutie from the yearbook had walked into my life.

His friends exclaimed, “Gross, where have you been?”

They were all surprised to see him, particularly since no one knew where he was. He replied that he driven to South Carolina on a whim after completing his training at TBS (The Basic School) with the USMC in Virginia. “I was hoping to visit with some of my old buddies.”

When I finally got to meet him, I found myself tongue-tied. I just couldn’t get any words out. This struck me as odd, as I never run out of things to say.

Later I was able to talk to him as we stood outside by the fry pits. I had been flirting hard with Ging Gaddy, the host’s 80-year-old grandfather, when I caught Jon’s eye.

As we talked about his training in Quantico I told him my grandparents always shopped at the PX there, but that my grandfather had just died.

He looked in my eyes and replied, “I’m so sorry to hear that.”

The more we talked, the more I was drawn to this powerfully intense and yet quiet man. I could sense his humility. He had such an air of calmness and quiet confidence. I was falling in love, but didn’t realize it yet.

Then it was time for me to leave since I had a date with another Citadel graduate. The boys at the party knew what a party girl I was and tried to keep me from leaving. I told them I had a hot date and was more interested in making out with my date than I was in hanging out with them.

As I headed home to get prepared for my evening, something told me to change my plans. I called my roommate and asked her to invite the boys over for an after-party. Then I drove home and called my date to invite him to the Citadel party at my house.

My date and I sat on the couch and chatted until my roommate showed up with the rest of the party. I looked up to see my yearbook mystery man walking over to sit beside me on the couch. It felt odd, but also completely comfortable.

We began talking about everything—movies we liked, what was on the TV—and then my cat climbed up on his lap and started purring. I had never seen him do this with any of my dates. That was it for me. I knew I wanted to spend more time with this man.

As we talked through the evening, I decided he was the most sincere, humble, and honorable man I had ever met. In fact, he reminded me so much of my grandfather.

There are many men who could be your boyfriend, but there is only one type of man you want to marry and spend the rest of your life with. He was just that man.

We agreed to become pen pals since he was training about forty-five minutes away from my parent’s home in Virginia.

While I was writing my address in his daily planner, I asked him a serious question: “If you aren’t married in ten years, will you marry me?”

He didn’t miss a beat: “Yes. You’re the most exciting person I’ve ever met. I wanted to be with you from the first moment I saw you.”

Well, that just took my breath away.

My poor date, in the meantime, was sitting on the porch talking to a group of people. I arranged to have one of Jon’s buddies get rid of him.

I knew I wanted to be with Jon for the rest of that night. We continued to talk and later shared our first kiss.

We still argue about who kissed whom, but I think it was pretty mutual.

OPPOSITES DO ATTRACT

After that first kiss we wrote every week and talked on the phone whenever we could. We savored every conversation and poured our hearts into every letter. It was painful being separated from Jon.

Meeting Jon was like a completion of me. He had every quality I lacked and yet always admired. He was patient, calm, stable, and content.

In me, he found all the attributes he didn’t possess. I was the center of attention, loud, hyper, enthusiastic, and outgoing.

For the first time we each had found a partner we could trust completely without judgment. Although our temperaments were complete opposites, we realized we had much in common. It was easy to fall in love.

I would drive seven hours to my parents’ house on Fridays so we could see each other. On our first dinner date, Jon tried to explain what I was getting myself into. He stressed that he was attached to the Navy and could be deployed at any time. And he wanted me to know that the Marine Corps had an eighty-five percent divorce rate.

I suggested we slow down a little and try talking about hobbies or books we had read. My girlfriend had been right about this guy; he really didn’t date much. Why, I didn’t know: he was so cute and charming.

And he attempted to seduce me by rattling off random statistics about the Marine Corps. We all know Marines are natural romantics.

The attack of September 11 unfolded right after we started dating. I became frightened when I couldn’t get through on the phone to Quantico. I had no idea where he was or what he was doing. American lives were forever changed, and so did my relationship with this incredible man.

I think we both realized then that life in the military would mean more than being stationed around the world. We both recognized that war was a very real part of our future together.

Jon had started IOC (Infantry Officers Course) after he finished TBS (The Basic School) at Quantico. Now he drove seven hours every weekend to visit me in South Carolina. I was so honored by the sacrifices he was making just to spend time together.

Jon got orders to ship out to Camp Pendleton. I knew that his Military Occupational Service (MOS) in the infantry would mean he would be deployed for six of every eighteen months. This also meant that he would soon be sent into the war zone.

I was living in South Carolina and could not imagine how difficult it would be to maintain a long-distance relationship. When I initially began to date Jon I hadn’t thought much about it when he was stationed three states away. We treasured our time, but I knew that I couldn’t nurture or add to the relationship when I was so far away. I had made up my mind.

I had known from the beginning that I would marry Jon. The only question was when. Of course, I also realized that the military dictates the “whens” in your life.

Jon, meanwhile, was worried he was asking so much of me. He wasn’t sure I would like life as a military wife, or that I would like being alone. By marrying him, I would be leaving my friends, family, and career. It was a lot to ask of a woman. After all, you have to be strong to give up so much for someone else.