Confessions of a Gunfighter (20 page)

Chapter forty-nine

I was still having nightmares about that lawman I’d killed, and that night I was really tossing and turning.

Suddenly, I felt something shaking me, and it spooked me real good.

By habit I always slept with my six-shooter, and without even realizing it I drew and cocked my pistol as I sat up abruptly.

“Whoa there! Take it easy!” I heard a voice say.

I looked around and noticed that Ross had knelt beside my bunk.

I was sweaty and breathing hard, and it was then that I realized I had drawn my six-shooter. 

“What is it?” I asked shakily as I lowered my Colt.

“You was having a bad dream,” Ross said. 

“I reckon I’m just tired is all,” I replied as I tried to downplay it.

Ross wasn’t convinced as he stood up. 

“Well, if’n you keep on having them bad dreams, I’d recommend that you don’t sleep with that six-shooter of yours no more. You’re liable to blow somebody’s head off before you wake up.”

I nodded, and Ross went back to bed.

I was aggravated for acting so foolishly. I went back to sleep, but before I did I put my six-shooter underneath my blankets.

Ross kept his distance the next morning. We ate breakfast, and then Ross went to town on an errand for Mr. Tomlin.

Meanwhile, Me and Buster started breaking the colts. Buster couldn’t ride any, but he did help me with the ground work.

Mr. Tomlin and Rachel came down from the house. They watched me work with a couple of the colts, and after a while Mr. Tomlin walked over to me.   

“You know how to handle a horse, Joe,” Mr. Tomlin said. “You’re doing just fine.”

“Thank you, sir,” I replied, pleased.

Suddenly, Mr. Tomlin's face changed and got serious looking. 

“Joe, I’m a good judge on character, and I like the looks of you. But, you seem to be the sort of feller that’s got some troubles. Ross told me you’ve been having nightmares. Care to tell me about ’em?”

I sure didn’t want to lie to Mr. Tomlin. But, I just couldn’t tell him who I really was. 

“Not at the moment, sir,” I swallowed hard.

Mr. Tomlin looked disappointed. 

“All right then, suit yourself. But, if you ever need to talk, I’ll sure listen.”

I nodded, and Mr. Tomlin walked off abruptly.

***

That afternoon Ross rode back from town, and soon as he saw me he walked over.

“You might like to know that Palmer wasn’t in town,” Ross said. “I asked around, and nobody’s seen him the last few days neither. It looks like he’s cleared out.”

“That’s good,” I said. 

I was relieved. Hopefully, Palmer would stay gone, and I would finally be left alone in peace.

After that, things settled down to a routine ranch life. Ross stayed busy riding the range, and me and Buster stayed busy breaking colts. Mr. Tomlin had a little over thirty colts to break, and we worked every day from sun-up to dark.

Rachel always seemed to be close by. She seemed real interested in watching me work with the colts, and as we worked with them she would come up with a name for each one.  

Rachel named the tall sorrel, which was in my string, Desperate, for she said that I had been real desperate when I came up to the line cabin. And, I reckon I’d have to say that she was right.

Looking back now, I can see just how close Rachel and I became during that time. For some reason Rachel was real interested in me, but I was always discouraging any romantic notions she had. 

I liked her plenty, but I knew as long as I had that lawman's face haunting me that I would never be any good husband material. In my way of thinking I just didn’t deserve a girl like Rachel. 

Rachel was puzzled. But, she was also very stubborn, and she didn’t give up. And, I have to admit I was glad she didn’t.

I could tell that Ross didn’t like us spending time together. He never said anything, but whenever he saw us together his face would get dark and jealous looking. I know he tried hard not to show it, but he just couldn’t help it.

Six months passed, and during that time there wasn’t any sign of Palmer.

However, horses were still disappearing all over the country.

Several times I thought about talking to Mr. Tomlin about this, but I could never find the right time. 

By now the higher taxes were also in effect, and word came that Lieutenant Porter had confiscated a ranch to the north. That place had then been put up for sale, and Lieutenant Porter swooped in and bought it.

This made all the ranchers furious, and there was a rumor that all the ranchers were wanting to get together to form an association to fight back.

Mr. Tomlin liked the idea. But so far, there had only been talk.

Despite all this, life on the ranch was good.

But Ross was still suspicious, and he kept a close eye on me. But I worked hard, and I couldn’t have been happier.

It was late on a Saturday afternoon when Rachel asked me if I’d like to go to church with them the next morning over at Empty-lake. 

Going to church wasn’t anything new, for I had gone often with Pa and Elliot. But I hadn’t been anywhere near a church since then, and the thought of it made me nervous.

“I don’t know, Miss Rachel,” I said, and suddenly I was sweating all over. “I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow.”

“Like what?” Rachel smiled innocently at me.

When Rachel smiled like that I always got weak in the knees, and for some reason I couldn’t come up with an answer.

Rachel kept after me, and finally I broke down and gave in. Palmer wasn’t around no more, so I figured it would be safe. 

The next morning found me riding into town in the buckboard with the Tomlins. Ross didn’t like the situation, so he came along too, riding behind us on his horse.

I noticed the brand new headquarters for the state police as we pulled into town. The wood had a shiny new paint job, and the place had more windows than I could count.

Mr. Tomlin shook his head.

“That’s what our higher taxes are paying for,” he told us. “That’s the nicest building in town!”

We spotted Lieutenant Porter standing by the front door, and he narrowed his eyes when he saw me.

He waved his hand at us and hurried over.

Chapter fifty

“You’d be Craig Tomin, wouldn’t you?” Lieutenant Porter smiled as he walked up.

“That’s right,” Mr. Tomlin answered abruptly. 

Lieutenant Porter introduced himself.

“If you ever have a problem and need the law, then I’m the man to see,” Lieutenant Porter said as he finished.

Mr. Tomlin’s face was expressionless. 

“We take care of our own troubles.”

Mr. Tomlin started to kick up the horses, but Lieutenant Porter stopped him.

“Mr. Tomlin, I’ve heard that you’re still bitter about the war, but I sure hope you don’t ’cause me any trouble.”

Mr. Tomlin shrugged. 

“Leave me alone and we’ll get along just fine.”

“I’ll be direct, Mr. Tomlin. I don’t like you hiring gunfighters,” Lieutenant Porter nodded in my direction. “It doesn’t look good.”

“And I’ll be direct with you,” Mr. Tomlin answered. “Who I hire is none of your business.”

Lieutenant Porter frowned, but he didn’t reply. Instead, he looked over at me.

“What are you doing here?” He asked.

I nodded down the street.

“Going to church,” I said innocently.  

“I told you to clear out,” he said roughly.

I couldn’t help but smile.

“I, uh, didn’t make it very far.”

Lieutenant Porter’s face darkened. He started to reply, but before he could Mr. Tomlin cleared his throat. 

“We’re fixing to be late for church,” Mr. Tomlin said, and he kicked up the horses while Lieutenant Porter just stood there.  

We went on down to the church.

I was nervous, but I found that sitting next to Rachel helped. The service got started, and after a while I relaxed a bit. 

They sang the same old hymns that we used to sing back home, and by the time the singing was over I was even singing some.

I was really enjoying sitting there by Rachel, and before I knew it the sermon was over and we were dismissed. Everybody filed outside, and then everyone stood around and visited. This was most folks’ only chance to mingle and catch up on things, and nobody seemed to be in a hurry to go home. 

Folks finally started breaking up. I offered to go get the buckboard, which was down the street a bit. 

I walked briskly as I went over to the horses and untied the lead rope.

I was climbing onto the seat when suddenly, from behind, I heard a low, sneering laugh.

I recognized that laugh as soon as I heard it. 

I turned around slowly, and I found myself looking directly into the face of Ryan Palmer. 

Palmer was sitting in the street on his dun horse with a smug look on his face.

“Well now,” Palmer said in a long, drawled out drawl. “Look what I found on my first day back into town! You know, I had you figured for a lot of things, but being a choir boy wasn’t one of ’em!”

Palmer laughed wolfishly, and I felt the feeling start to build up inside me. But, I managed to control myself and stay calm. 

“What are you doing here, Palmer?” I asked.

“Looking for you,” Palmer replied. “By the way, do you miss your horse?”

I narrowed my eyes.

“Palmer, I told you once to leave me alone, and that warning still stands. You leave town, you hear? Or else you’ll find more trouble than you can handle.”   

“You still talk big, don’t you?” Palmer sneered. “Only now you don’t have Kinrich backing you.”

“I never needed Kinrich to back me,” I responded. 

Palmer’s face darkened.

“I ain’t leaving until I get what I came for, and that’s you.”

“You’re fixing to get yourself killed in front of all these folks,” I replied tersely. 

“Oh, don’t worry; today’s not the day,” Palmer said, and his smug smile was back. “I want to make you sweat some more first.”

I started to reply, but suddenly I noticed that Rachel was coming down the street. 

Palmer saw her too, and he smiled wickedly.

“Sure is a mighty pretty little gal you’ve got there,” Palmer said. “Does she know who you really are?”

I didn’t answer. But I’m sure the look on my face betrayed me, because Palmer laughed. 

“Well now, I wonder what would happen if she found out?”

Rachel arrived before I could reply.

“Joe? Are you ready? Pa’s waiting for you,” Rachel said.

Palmer smiled real big as I jumped down and helped Rachel up into the buckboard. 

“So it’s ‘Joe,’ is it? Well now, Joe, I’ve gotta be going. But, I’ll be seeing you
real
soon.”   

Palmer rode down the street while me and Rachel watched him go. 

“Is he a friend of yours?” Rachel smiled sweetly at me.

“Not hardly,” I replied.

I kicked up the horses, and we went on down to the church.

Mr. Tomlin's hard, thoughtful eyes were studying me as I pulled up.  

“Did that fellow down the street give you any trouble?” Mr. Tomlin wanted to know.

I shrugged as I tried to downplay it. 

“No, sir, none that I couldn’t handle.”

“That feller seemed to have known you,” Ross added.

I shot Ross a sharp glance, but he just grinned back. 

After that everybody loaded up. 

I climbed into the back seat with Rachel, and everybody was jovial and laughing on the way back to the ranch. 

That is, all but me. Seeing Ryan Palmer again upset me, and I had a bad feeling that trouble was coming.

Chapter fifty-one

Palmer could show up at any moment and tell everybody who I was, and I couldn’t let that happen.

I wasn’t scared of Palmer. I just didn’t want the Tomlins thinking badly of me.

I was quiet that afternoon as I thought on that, and by suppertime I had figured out what I had to do.

After supper everybody drifted out onto the front porch as usual.

Everybody was laughing and joking about this or that, but finally I got up enough nerve and looked over at Mr. Tomlin.

“Mr. Tomlin, there’s something I’m needing to talk to you about,” I said.

Everybody saw that my face was somber, so everyone started to leave.

But I stopped them.

“Don’t go; I reckon everybody should hear this.”     

Ross had a curious look as everybody eased back into their chairs.

“Well, what is it, Joe?” Mr. Tomlin wanted to know.

I swallowed hard and looked Mr. Tomlin straight in the eyes.

“It’s about the feller I saw in town. Truth is, he’s hunting me, and any day now he’s going to show up looking to kill me.”

Mr. Tomlin looked surprised. 

“Well now! When he does I reckon I might have something to say about that!” Mr. Tomlin declared.

“But that ain’t all,” I looked guiltily down at the ground. “You see, I’ve been lying to you folks. My name ain’t Joe Lenders.”

Mr. Tomlin frowned. 

“Oh? Then who are you?” He demanded to know.

“I’m Rondo Landon,” I announced.

Everybody was astonished, ’cept for Ross. 

“I knew it!” Ross exclaimed. “All this time I figured you was him!”

“There’s no fooling you,” I said remorsefully. “You’re worse’n a hound dog on a coon's trail.”

Ross was pleased with himself. As for the others, I couldn’t tell what they were thinking. And especially Mr. Tomlin.

Mr. Tomlin cleared his throat. 

“Well, I’ve heard of Rondo Landon, and I sure don’t like what I’ve heard. But, I like to think of myself as being a reasonable man, so before we go any further I’d like to hear your version of all those stories I’ve heard, if you don’t mind.”  

So that’s what I did. I leaned back in my chair, and then I told them my life story. And this time I told them everything, even about me killing the lawman.

When I finished everybody just sat there while they took in everything.

Finally, Mr. Tomlin leaned forward. 

“You’ve been through it, son, that’s for sure.”

“Yes, sir, I have,” I nodded.

Mr. Tomlin pressed on. 

“But, you seem to be trying to put your past behind you and move on with your life.”

“I’m sure trying to,” I replied. “The only thing that keeps haunting me is that lawman I killed. That, plus the fact that Palmer won’t leave me alone.”

Mr. Tomlin thought it over. 

“Well, a lot of men would have killed that lawman and never even thought twice about it. But it bothers you, so that means you’ve got a conscience. And that’s a good thing.”

“But it doesn’t change the fact that I killed a good, honest man,” I replied.

Ross spoke up. 

“Did it ever occur to you that if you hadn’t killed him somebody else would have? There’s no way that lawman could have gotten all seven of you,
especially
with just a shotgun.”

“I never thought of that,” I admitted. “But still, it doesn’t make it right.”

It fell silent, and as we sat there I thought some more on what Ross had just said. 

It was true; there had been a lot of shooting going on, and it suddenly occurred to me that I might not have been the only one who had hit the lawman!

That thought did make me feel better. But still, I distinctly remembered drawing my gun and shooting.

Mr. Tomlin cleared his throat.

“You can’t go on hiding forever,” he said. “Sooner or later, you’ve got to come clean. That’s the only way you’ll be able to move on and put your past behind you.”

“Yes, sir, I think you’re right,” I agreed.

“But, with our current law system, it would probably be best if folks didn’t find out who you are just yet,” Mr. Tomlin said. “So here’s what we’ll do; we’ll keep things as they are, and we’ll all keep quiet.”

I looked up, surprised. 

“You mean I get to keep my job?”

Mr. Tomlin shot me a hard glance. 

“Course you still got a job. You ain’t through breaking those colts yet.”

I grinned. 

“Thank you, sir. I won’t let you down.”

Mr. Tomlin nodded curtly. 

“Like I told you before; you’ve been making a real good hand, and we’ve enjoyed you being here. I just wish you would have told me all this sooner.”

“I wanted to,” I replied. “But, I was afraid you’d fire me.”

Mr. Tomlin smiled. 

“You just keep up the good work, and we’ll get along just fine. I think you’ve got a good future here.”

“Yes, sir,” I replied.

Mr. Tomlin nodded and stood.

“Well, it’s getting late. I reckon we’d best be turning in.”

We said goodnight, and then me and Ross went down to the bunkhouse.

Ross glanced at me while we were getting ready to bed down.

“Rondo, I owe you an apology. I said some harsh things to you a while back.”

“Forget it,” I waved my hand at him. “You had a right to be suspicious.”

“Well, just so you know, I’m taking back what I said, ’bout me not helping you if Palmer shows up. I’ll stand with you any day.”

“I appreciate you saying that, Ross,” I said sincerely.

Ross nodded, and then we turned in.

And, for the first time in a long time, I slept real good.