Confess (The Blue Line Series Book 1) (25 page)

The urge to reach across the cruiser and punch him was so strong she sat on her hands just to be safe. How could he be so cold and angry with her? “It was my choice.” Her voice elevated. “It was stupid, but it was
my
choice. Wray hurt everyone I love. He ruined my life, and I couldn’t let my father go to jail for protecting me. I had to put an end to him for everyone.”
Which included you, you big lug, until you froze me out.

“If you wanted to spill your guts about Wray, I would have taken you.” Mitch’s knuckles whitened on the steering wheel.

So that was what he was mad about? That she’d gone alone, without him.

Lacy turned her body square with his in the tight car. “No. You wouldn’t. You can’t stand to give up responsibility to anyone. I’ve only known you days, and I can see that. You keep it all to yourself. The second someone tries to get in, you slam a wall down on them so fast they can’t even register what they did to piss you off.” His silence shut her out yet again.

Lacy seethed with anger, the pain in her back and arms forgotten. Her only focus was him. “I wanted to confess for me, Mitch. You don’t get to be mad over that.”

He steered to the side of the road and stopped so fast her body jerked forward then slammed against the hard seat.

Mitch took several sharp intakes of air before turning to face her. She swallowed her building retort at the scared expression in his eyes. Not anger. Not resentment. Fear.

“You’re not the one who was wrong back there.” He grabbed the steering wheel and shook it, his arms flexing against his shirtsleeves. His anger sucked the air out of the small car. If he’d just scream at her, criticize her judgment or scold her, she’d feel better, but his placid silence brought every nerve in her already exhausted body to full attention.

“Then why are you acting like I’ve done something so wrong you can’t even face me?” She ventured a hand to his shoulder. His muscles coiled tight under his shirt. “I needed you back there, Mitch. I needed the man I met at Charlie’s who made me feel safe. Not the officer who criticized me then walked out.”

His deep breaths depleted what little oxygen he left in the car. “I’m not mad at you.” His eyes flashed up to meet hers and held there. “I’m angry as hell at myself. You almost died tonight because of me. I should have figured it out when Bishop found the deleted police report filed by Helms’ father. I should have made the connection after your abduction, but I
ignored
it.”

The panic flashing in his eyes made her breath catch in her throat.
Ignored
rang in her ears, but it wasn’t Mitch’s voice she heard. It was an echo of what Helms had said.
He heard his name screamed over and over, but he ignored her.

“Mitch.” Lacy forced her voice to be soft and calm. One hand reached for his, wrapping her fingers around his fist. “Tell me what happened to Sadie?”

Mitch closed his eyes. The color drained from his cheeks, and his chest concaved. His eyes tightened, pushing back at the painful memory. “Living with my parents was never what you’d call a nurturing environment. The summer they decided to split, my uncle insisted I live with him and his family on the river. He insisted they needed me. I could earn my keep helping remodel the house and keeping an eye on Sadie.”

“How old where you?”

“Fourteen. Sadie was ten. She loved to play hide and seek, and I always knew exactly where she hid. Right off the riverbank in a grove of evergreens she said reminded her of Christmas trees.

“I knew she was there. I could hear her laughing. I didn’t want to play anymore, so I laid down under a Cyprus tree on the bank and closed my eyes.” He took a ragged breath and let it out slowly. “A few minutes later, she started calling my name. Calm at first. I knew she was baiting me. Then she started screaming.”

His voice cut off. Mitch opened his car door and stepped outside.

Lacy gave him a second to himself before following his lead and stepping out on the shoulder of the road.

“You couldn’t have known,” she ventured to his back.

“I should have gone when she screamed. I should have known something wasn’t right. I’d seen the T.V. reports on the missing girls. How he’d take them and hold them for just long enough to warrant police involvement.

“I even thought for a split second that’s what could be happening to Sadie, but I told myself no one would take her. Things like that didn’t happen to us.” He fisted wads of hair, squeezing and releasing. “I could have saved her, but I ignored her screaming.” His gaze landed hard on hers. It begged for help, for forgiveness, for her to do anything to end his pain. “Just like you.” He turned to look out into the night again. “I could have saved you if I hadn’t ignored the evidence against Helms.”

Mitch reached up into the hair falling along her jaw line. “All he needed to keep his crime a secret was to get rid of the one person who could expose him as a liar. I led him right to you.”

Lacy’s heart constricted watching him unravel. She’d been the one keeping secrets for so long. And she still had one that could release him of his guilt if she could trust him enough to tell. She reached a hand to his, but he turned away. “Mitch, you were a kid yourself. Even if you had gone for Sadie, you wouldn’t have been able to stop a full-grown man like Wray. He would have just killed you both.”

Mitch stilled. He had a vacant, lost, far off look, and his voice dropped in volume. “Did you not hear me? I led Helms right to you. If I hadn’t drudged up the past, Helms never would have known about you. You would have been safe.”

Lacy was quick to respond. “And if you hadn’t, more innocent girls might have died to keep Helms’ secret covered up.”

Mitch threw his hands up in the air and stalked back to the car.

Lacy followed after him. The right words wouldn’t come. He’d just bared his soul, and she couldn’t think of a word to say to ease him.

She pulled in a calming breath, needing to say this one last thing, and then she’d let him have the silence he seemed to ask for. “It seems to me you’re being selfish, Mitch. There’s enough blame to go around here. You were quick to take mine away last night when I told you I could have saved Sadie, but you’re too stubborn to let anyone help you carry yours.”

He glared at her hard, his hands holding the door, waiting for her to finish and crawl in the front seat. “If we’re sharing blame, then I killed those two women at the river by not catching Wray. Ten years of searching, and I can’t find one damn clue on his whereabouts.”

Lacy took one final look at him, hoping in that second she’d see her words spark in his eyes. Something that would tell her he would be able to handle the truth about Wray. He wouldn’t come unhinged to learn he could never have what he wanted. He’d never be able to look into that man’s vacant brown eyes in search of answers. But when she looked at Mitch all she found there was darkness. She’d lost him, maybe for good. He had a right to know the truth about the man who’d killer Sadie.

Lacy slid in the seat and waited for the door to close, wishing there was some magic button she could push to make this all go away. She’d even take Mitch’s pain and make it her own if he’d let her. But he wouldn’t.

He’d already pushed too far away.

There was only one way to get him back. She had to come clean with the truth. Completely clean. “Mitch.” Her voice shook when he took the diver’s side again and pulled on the highway. God help her if telling him the truth was a mistake. “You’re never going to find him.”

His knuckles whitened where he held the wheel. “And why do you think that?”

Lacy swallowed hard. She couldn’t back down now that she’d brought him to the edge with her. “Because he’s been dead for ten years. My father killed him.”

Mitch’s body sagged into the padded waiting room chair. He’d lost track of how long he’d been there since leaving Lacy with a nurse and taking up vigil in the sparse hospital lobby.

In the car she’d dropped a bomb on him. A bomb he wasn’t prepared to deal with. Wray was dead. He’d never see his day in court or serve his time behind bars for killing Sadie. Chief Andrews had been his judge and jury and sentenced him to death by murder. Not that Mitch could blame him, but another thought looped through his head. What do you do with your life when you’ve reached the one goal you had? Wray was dead, and Lacy was safe. What was left?

Deluna’s heavy-handed shoulder squeeze saved him from the thought. The young officer looked down to him with relief in his eyes. “Doc says other than a few bumps and rope burns, she’s fine. No concussion.”

Mitch sucked in the first deep breath he’d managed since she’d disappeared behind the swinging emergency room doors.

“She’s getting dressed now and should be ready in a few minutes. You want to take her-”

“No,” Mitch cut him off. He cleared his throat and controlled his voice. “I need to get the ball rolling on the Nashville end. You take her to the station and get a statement when she’s ready. I’ll follow up when I know more.”

Deluna cocked his head. “You sure? The chief will want to see you before you go.”

Just what he was hoping to avoid. “Yeah. I’m sure.”

Deluna squeezed tighter before letting go. “I get it, man. I’ll take good care of her.”

Deluna was young, but with a few well-deserved calls to Nashville, he could be on the same fast track that had taken Mitch off street patrol and landed him a detective job.

The double doors at the end of the hall opened and Lacy, flanked by a man in scrubs to her left and John on her right, walked down the hall. Her eyes staring right at him. It took every ounce of strength he’d managed to hold onto to stand.

She passed close enough to give him a whiff of her floral shampoo. She turned her head, and her eyes tracked his until John led her around a corner.

Deluna stepped between them and took Lacy by the arm, leading her away from Mitch and out the sliding door to his waiting patrol car.

Behind the retreating cruiser, while Deluna helped her into the backseat and John claimed shotgun, Mitch stood and waited for Lacy to turn back to him.

She never did.

Playing hard came easy with killers, but shutting out the woman he loved clawed at his heart from the inside out.

But he had to focus on the case now. Keeping Lacy safe meant making the charges against Helms stick, and Nashville wasn’t going to listen to a lovesick detective with every motive for revenge against Helms. Now he had to clear the fallout and end her nightmares for good.

Arresting Helms was just the beginning of this investigation. Even if he buried his report under miles of bureaucratic red tape, it wouldn’t take long for the truth about Lacy and her father to reach the media, and from there, the court room.

“You’ve got some nerve still standing here.” Chief Andrews stepped to his side. “She asked for you three times in that hospital room, but the doctor’s said you refused to come. What sick game are you playing with my daughter?”

Mitch rolled his bottom lip between his teeth before he spoke. “Do you even remember who I am?”

Andrew’s squinted his eyes for a second. “Besides the biggest pain in my ass since my wife was still around?”

Figured. “I took my uncle’s last name when my mother remarried a couple years after the murder, but I felt damn sure you’d remember me.”

Andrews stepped in front of him. “How would I know you, son?”

“Sadie Bailey.”

Recognition flashed in the Chief’s eyes. “Mitchell Bailey. Well, son of a bitch. Always knew you’d end up finding trouble. Does my daughter know who you are?”

“She found out tonight.” He paused. “She told me you killed that sick son of a bitch who murdered Sadie.”

Andrews only grunted.

“I guess I owe you my thanks.”

“Killing doesn’t come with thanks, son. You of all people know that.”

Mitch rubbed his cheek. “No, but it does come with charges. Helms knows you killed Wray. If we bring up charges against him for Lacy, he’ll spill.”

Andrews shook his head. “He took my girl. I don’t care if they fry me in a chair. He’s going to jail. Tell Nashville whatever you have to, kid. Helms won’t get away with what he put my daughter through.” Andrews waved over a waiting patrol car and spit on the ground. “Go back to Nashville and finish your report. There’s nothing left for you here, Detective.” He stepped into the waiting car and sped off.

He was right. Helms was going to confess and in so doing, take Chief Andrews down with him. Lacy would blame herself, and the cycle of guilt would begin again.

There had to be a better way.

The cell in his pocket buzzed on the way to the one taxi he’d seen circling the hospital. His aunt’s name flashed on the screen. Mitch’s finger hovered over the ignore button until he recognized the number. He hit accept and waited for her voice.

“Oh, Mitchell. I know you’re busy, but I just saw the news. Are you all right?” She sounded so soft and sweet it hollowed out his stomach.

He swallowed down the guilt that surfaced at the sound of her voice. “They always make it look worse on TV. I’m fine. No one was hurt, and we caught the bad guy.”

She signed heavily into the phone, and he knew she’d been holding her breath since the news about Helms’ arrest broke that evening. “Thank heavens, Mitchell. I don’t know why you chose to go into this line of work. It scares the hell out of me every time I hear about one of your arrests.” He could practically hear her finger wagging on the other end.

Mitch raised his hand to signal the passing taxi and opened the door, calling out the lake house address as he sat. “Someone’s got to keep up with the bad guys.”

“I just wish that someone wasn’t my only nephew.”

The conversation died. Mitch tried to rally himself, but with thoughts of Lacy weighing him down, his efforts were lost. If he’d broken down that door just one minute later, they would be having a completely different conversation right now.

The image of her spread out on the bed seared into his brain. It would be seared into his brain for the rest of his life, along with the guilt for driving her to the arms of a would-be killer.