Confectionately Yours #3: Sugar and Spice (9 page)

W
hat did that mean? Why did he want to see my face? Why do I feel so dizzy?

Do I have a crush on Kyle? I don’t know.

When I used to see Devon, I’d feel tongue-tied and shy. I’d get clumsy and say stupid stuff.

I’m not like that with Kyle. When I’m with him, I just feel kind of … happy. The way you do around a friend.

Except I don’t feel that way around my other friends.

Just Kyle.

T
oday’s assignment: script highlighting.

Yes. That’s right. My detention “job” is to take a highlighter and mark everything that the character Mr. Wallings says in the script for a play called
Laugh Tracks
. When that’s finished, I get to take the next script and highlight everything Mrs. Wallings says. Then I get to highlight a script for Pesky Stahl.

It’s a thrill.

“This play is
so
bad,” Meghan says as she flips through a script. “Seriously, my cat could write a better play.”

“I think it’s funny,” Artie says.

Meghan rolls her eyes. “‘Something’s fishy,’” she reads
from the script. “‘Oh, darling, that’s just the salmon I cooked for dinner.’” She purses her lips in Artie’s direction.

“Maybe it’s all in the delivery,” I say.

Artie doesn’t say anything. She just marks up her page and flips it over.

“All I know is that the dramaramas are going to perform an original improv at the talent show, and I’ll bet it will be fifty times funnier than this play,” Meghan says.

Artie scowls and flips another page. It’s an angry page-flip, if you know what I mean. Crinkly.

Meghan is completely oblivious to Artie’s furious highlighting. “So, listen, I think I’m going to talk to Ms. Lang today.”

“Finally,” I say.

“Don’t do it,” Artie puts in.

“Why not?”

Artie snaps the cap back onto her highlighter and looks at Meghan evenly. “Because it’s going to be a huge disaster.”

“What’s going to be a huge disaster?” Ms. Lang asks as she walks into the costume shop. She narrows her eyes at me,
and I look down at my script and highlight the first thing I see. Shoot. Wrong line.

“Ms. Lang, I’ve been learning a lot by spending time in the drama department,” Meghan says in her Teacher Hypnotist voice. I’ve heard her use this tone before — teachers and administrators seem to find it soothing. They usually agree to whatever she suggests.

Ms. Lang doesn’t seem hypnotized, though. She folds her arms across her chest. “Really,” she says.

“Yes! And I’ve been thinking — there’s so much talent here at Adams Middle School. Wouldn’t it be great if we could do a talent show?” Meghan’s eyes are shining, and I feel my heart pulsing against my chest.

Ms. Lang shakes her head. “I’ve got enough to do,” she says.

“Oh, but a talent show doesn’t take much prep or rehearsal, because everyone just brings the talent they’ve already got,” Meghan explains. “The kids who’ve signed up are —”

“Signed up?” Ms. Lang snaps.

“Well, uh — I haven’t really signed them up exactly …” Meghan looks over at me for help, but all I can do is wince.

“You do realize that you need permission from this department to use the stage, don’t you?” Ms. Lang glares at Meghan.

“Yes, of course — I just thought —”

“You thought that I’d love your brilliant idea as much as you do?” The drama teacher’s voice is scornful. “Yes, who wouldn’t, Meghan?” she demands sarcastically. “What teacher wouldn’t be thrilled to take on more work in order to humor you?”

Meghan’s cheeks are flushed. She opens her mouth to speak but doesn’t make a sound. I’ve never seen her speechless before — it’s a little unnerving. She looks at me again. I don’t know what to say.

“Well, Meghan was just so excited because she thought it would be a good fund-raiser for the Appletree Foundation,” Artie says suddenly.

For a moment, Ms. Lang doesn’t tear her eyes away from Meghan. It’s like it takes a while for Artie’s words to settle over her. Finally, she cocks her head and looks over at Artie. “Fund-raiser?” she repeats.

“Right,” Artie chirps. “Since you’re on the board of directors for Appletree, we thought you might be interested.”

We?
I look at Artie in surprise.

Artie doesn’t glance at me, though. She’s looking at Meghan.

“Oh, right!” Meghan says. “You know, art for a good cause,” she says brightly.

“Hmm.” Ms. Lang runs her index finger over her right eyebrow. “Well, that’s a bit different, isn’t it? Actually, that’s a good idea. Yes.”

“The three of us have already done a lot of the legwork,” Artie says. “You know, just in case you said yes. But lots of the kids are really excited about it. Especially David Lesser.”

“David Lesser?” Ms. Lang repeats.

“His dog does ballet,” Meghan puts in.

Oh, Artie, you evil genius. Everyone knows that the Lessers are loaded. Ms. Lang’s eyes go wide, and I can almost see the dollar signs in them. Appletree is a nonprofit that brings arts classes to homeless teens. I’ve heard that Ms. Lang is really passionate about it, but it doesn’t have a big budget.

“Well, girls, I think this is a good idea. An excellent idea. Once you finish up the scripts, you can work on putting the talent show together. When were you thinking of holding it, Meghan?”

“Friday after next,” Meghan says.

“Ambitious.” Ms. Lang frowns.

“Like I said, no rehearsal, no problem.” Meghan smiles her charming smile.

“Well, you have my permission to move forward,” Ms. Lang says. Then she strides out of the costume shop.

Meghan gives Artie a hilarious fish-lipped, lifted-eyebrow look. “Well, that was amazing,” she says.

“I couldn’t just sit here watching you two squirm,” Artie shoots back. She looks at me and shakes her head.

“Besides, you know this is going to be super fun!” I tell her.

Artie looks at me. Then she laughs a little. “Yeah, Hayley,” she says. “It’s going to be fun.”

I can’t help smiling. I actually really think it will be.

Fun, I mean.

“W
hat do you think?” Artie asks Monday morning in homeroom. She holds up a glittery poster that reads, A
DAMS
S
CHOOL
T
ALENT
S
HOW
. I
F YOU’VE GOT IT, WE WANT TO SEE IT
, in glittery letters. There’s a sign-up sheet at the bottom.

“Perfect!” Meghan gushes.

“I submitted the info for the morning announcements,” I say just as the PA system starts to crackle.

“Sit down, everyone,” Ms. Anderson says in a bored voice. “Take a seat. Listen up.”

“I’ll put this up in the drama wing,” Artie says as she rolls up the poster.

“Front hall is better,” Meghan tells her. “More people will see it.”

Artie just cocks an eyebrow, and I know that the poster is going up in the drama wing.

“Good morning, fellow students,” blares from the PA. It’s the president of the eighth-grade class council, Gia Andres. “It’s Monday, February 27. All students who wish to participate in this spring’s election should attend an orientation …”

Meghan passes me a note.
Have a few ideas for talent show. Talk at lunch?

I fold it over and write back.
Let’s talk at detention so Artie can join.

Okay. Last day — yay!

I look over and grin. I’ve been waiting to get that extra hour back in the afternoon. Which I’ll now be spending planning the talent show, of course.

The PA drones on. “… and finally, anyone interested in signing up for the talent show —”

Meghan puts out a thumbs-up.

“— should sign up — Hey! What are you —”

Oh, no. A familiar voice — make that two familiar voices — plow over the sound system.

“This is Jamil —”

“And Omar!”

“And we’re here to rhyme!”

“So pardon us for busting up announcement time!”

Meghan looks over at me. Her eyes are dangerous slits. “I’m going to throttle them,” she murmurs.

I catch Artie’s eye from across the room. She’s shaking her head.

I roll my eyes. Great. My announcement got rap-bombed. I’d spent a lot of time writing it, too.

If Meghan wants to throttle those guys
, I think,
she’s going to have to get in line
.

“W
e’re getting too many sign-ups,” Artie says as she brushes a green wig. The costume shop is really looking good. It’s our last day of detention, and at least it’s served some purpose. The racks are hung with clothes that are clean and repaired, everything organized by size and color. The tables are stacked with props, the hats are in boxes or displayed on shelves. “We should weed a few people out.”

“Weed a few people out?” Meghan looks aghast, which is kind of hilarious, given that she’s wearing a black pillbox hat with cherries on it. “Why should we weed people out?”

Artie lifts an eyebrow. “Um, because some of these acts sound horrible?” She puts down her wig and scans the list. “What’s an ‘Umbrella Dance’?”

“But isn’t the fun of a talent show the fact that some of the acts are bad?” I ask as I put another stitch into the cape I’m working on. It’s purple velvet, and I’m repairing some gold trim at the edges. I can’t decide if it’s gorgeous or hideous. Both, kind of.

Artie looks ready to strangle me with the green wig. “If we let everyone in, the show will be three hours long!”

“Not if we only give everyone three minutes to perform,” I say. “That’s what we were counting on, right?”

“I told Seth that he could have five,” Meghan puts in. “And your act might take a little longer.”

“My
act
?” I repeat.

“You’re going to make cupcakes, right?” Meghan’s voice is all like,
duh
.

Artie groans. “Mad boring!”

“Cooking shows are huge!” Meghan snaps. “You just show everyone how you mix it up.”

“Then wait half an hour?” Artie interrupts.

“No — then just pull out some that you’ve already baked, to show how they’ll look.” Meghan’s eyes are huge. “Seriously, don’t you people watch the Food Network?”

“I think that could work,” I say.

“You would,” Artie snaps, which sounds like an insult, but I can’t really figure out if it is or not. She places the green wig neatly on the foam head where it lives. “Let’s hold auditions.”

I can’t help feeling like Artie’s trying to get me out of the show. Which I don’t really mind. But Meghan isn’t having it.

“It’s a talent show, not a contest, Artie.”

“I just don’t want it to be lame!” Artie protests. “I don’t want it to seem like we’re a bunch of dorky five-year-olds putting on a puppet show behind the couch! Am I crazy?” She turns to me, but I’m lost in a memory of the two of us at age five, putting on a puppet show behind my couch. We used my Barbies to stage an original musical called
The Lonely Princess
. I thought it was pretty good. You know, considering we were five.

“The point is to have fun,” Meghan says. “You
do
know how to do that, right, Artie?”

Artie sucks in a breath, and her face looks like she’s about to go kablooie.

“Look, look, the talent show is supposed to be open to anyone who has a talent, and we just don’t have time for auditions,” I say quickly. “So it doesn’t really —”

“Okay, if you want this to be a mess, that’s fine.” Artie pulls down another wig and starts yanking at the curls as if she wants to teach them a lesson.

I fiddle with the fringe at the end of my cape, feeling like I’m grasping at straws. “I think the trick is not to take this so seriously.”

“If we’re not going to take it seriously, then I don’t want to do it at all,” Artie replies. Her eyes are flat, her expression so cold that I’m tempted to wrap the cape around myself. “I’ll perform in the show, but I don’t want to help with it. Don’t put my name on the program.”

“We’re having programs?” I ask just as Ms. Lang walks into the costume shop to check on us.

Artie gives her a smile, but Ms. Lang twists her mouth into a pucker-faced frown. “Well, Artemis, I think it’s interesting that you’re already backing out of the talent show. Did you forget that it’s for a good cause?”

“We were just having a disagreement,” Artie says. “I mean, I’ll still be in the show….”

“Most shows don’t need more people to star in them.” Ms. Lang’s voice comes down hard like a heavy object. “They need people to make them happen.”

“Of course, you’re r-right …” Artie stammers. “I wasn’t thinking —”

“I’m disappointed in you, Artemis, to be honest,” Ms. Lang continues, as if Artie hasn’t said anything. “I thought you understood the performing arts. I guess you still have a lot to learn. Anyway! You three are dismissed. I must say you’ve done a nice job here, surprisingly.”

I finish stitching up the cape as Artie silently packs her book bag. She leaves in a hurry, red-faced and silent. Meghan puts away her ridiculous hat and claps a hand on my shoulder. “See you, Ms. Lang!” Meghan crows over her shoulder as we walk out the door.

The drama teacher nods, but she is still looking around.

“We don’t need Artie’s help, anyway,” Meghan tells me.

“She made a good poster,” I point out.

Meghan sighs heavily as she looks down the hall. Artie has already disappeared. “Artie’s smart and she’s organized. She’s talented, too. But she’s not a lot of fun.”

“She used to be,” I say, thinking of the puppet show.

Meghan looks up at the ceiling, as if she’s thinking about this. “I can see it,” she says finally, as if it’s taking her a lot of effort to visualize Artie having fun.

I remember when I could, too.

Peppermint-Patty Cupcakes

(makes approximately 12 cupcakes)

INGREDIENTS:

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Line a muffin pan with cupcake liners.
   
2. In a large bowl, whisk together the milk and vinegar, and set aside for a few minutes to curdle.
   
3. Sift the flour, baking powder, baking soda, cocoa powder, and salt into a large bowl, and mix together.
   
4. In a double boiler, melt the chocolate chips until smooth, then remove and cool to room temperature. If you prefer, you can instead melt the chocolate chips in a small bowl in the microwave, heating it on high for a few seconds at a time, then stirring until smooth. (Repeat heating if necessary, but don’t overdo it!)
   
5. Once the milk has curdled, add in the yogurt, sugar, vanilla extract, peppermint extract, and oil, and stir together. Then add the melted chocolate and stir some more. With a whisk or handheld mixer, add the dry ingredients to the wet ones a little bit at a time and mix until no
   lumps remain, stopping to scrape the sides of the bowl a few times.
   
6. Fill cupcake liners two-thirds of the way and bake for 18–22 minutes. Transfer to a cooling rack, and let cool completely before frosting.
   
7. With your (clean!) thumb, poke large holes into the center of each cupcake. Alternately, take a small knife and carve out a cone from the center of each cupcake to create a well. (You can discard the cones, or eat them.)
   
8. Fill a pastry bag with the peppermint frosting. (You can also make your own pastry bag by cutting off a corner from a plastic Ziploc bag.) Insert the tip of the pastry bag into each cupcake, and squeeze it to fill the cavity you created. Then swirl the frosting on top of the cupcake to cover the opening.
   

Peppermint Frosting

INGREDIENTS:

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. In a large bowl, with an electric mixer, cream the margarine or butter until it’s a lighter color, about 2–3 minutes.
   
2. Slowly beat in the confectioners’ sugar in 1/2-cup batches, adding a little bit of milk whenever the frosting becomes too thick. Add the peppermint extract and continue mixing on high speed for about 3–7 minutes, until the frosting is light and fluffy.