Condemned (Beauty And The Billionaire Geek Book 2) (10 page)

I landed in San Francisco in the late afternoon and found Claire’s sunny face in the baggage claim area. She crushed me in a hug and a sense of relief washed over me. I missed her so much. She was like a sister, best friend, and mother wrapped into one.

Claire chatted about her dress making business, Damien, and Rose during the entire four hour drive north. I was happy I didn’t have to talk much, and she didn’t seem to notice I was completely out of it.

When we got home, Damien came out of the house with my niece Rose and handed the baby to Claire while he took my suitcase out of the car. Our dog Bradly ran out of the house and nearly knocked me on my ass. I went to my knees and hugged Bradly tight. I missed him almost as much as I missed my family. How silly was that? I nuzzled the smelly, hyper dog’s head and stroked his ears. 

Rose hid behind Claire’s legs, acting like she didn’t remember me. I smiled and held my arms out to her, but she just ducked further behind her mom.

“She’s going through a shy phase right now. It’s fine. She’ll warm up to you.”

It stung my heart because I’d help raise Rose since the day she was born. I’d been one of her favorite people before I left. My phone rang. It was Billy.

“I have to take this, guys.”

Damien and Claire took Rose and my bag into the house, and I walked around to the garden to answer the phone. The house looked like it had a new roof and new siding. Our house had been built by our grandparents in the sixties and most of the time we’d lived there, it had been falling apart.

I answered the phone and waited for Billy to respond.

“What’s wrong, Zoe? I got your text.”

“I don’t want to tell you over the phone.”

“I’ll come over. I have a few hours before I meet Daniel.”

“I’m in California.”

“What? Why are you in California?”

“I’m visiting my sister for Thanksgiving. I told you that like six times.”

“I’ve been distracted. I’ll make it up to you. Now, what’s wrong? Just tell me now.”

“I… I can’t.”

“Zoe. You’re scaring me. Just tell me.”

“I’m pregnant,” I blurted. The other end of the phone went silent. I could hear him breathing heavily, but he didn’t speak for long moments.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. I was a week late for my period, and I took a test.”

“Are those things accurate? Shouldn’t you see a doctor?”

“They’re accurate, Billy. Believe me.” I had an edge in my voice. I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation over the phone.

“I’m just trying to understand what’s happening. How serious it is.”

“It’s serious. There isn’t much to figure out.”

“Well. It will be fine. We have this meeting with Steinman next week. I’m sure this site will be huge. Daniel’s design took it to a whole new level. It’s sleek and user friendly now. I haven’t shown you the new prototype yet have I?”

“What are you saying, Billy?”

“I’m saying I can take care of you. It isn’t a problem, just sooner than I expected.”

“Maybe it isn’t a problem for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing, Billy. I have to go. I have to think about this and figure out what I’m going to do.”

“Zoe…”

I hung up the phone and walked back around the yard to the front door. I felt tension grip my shoulders and stomach until I was numb. How could I get through a holiday weekend with my family like this?

I went inside to find the living room had a few new items of furniture –– leather couches, a new coffee table, and a big screen TV hung from the wall. We’d had mostly crap stuff my entire life. Claire and Damien were apparently doing pretty well.

There were turkey decorations around the kitchen and wrapped around the stairwell. The ancient oak dining room table still stood in the dining room off the kitchen. I instantly felt at home. I sunk into the couch next to Rose, but she climbed off and ran to her mom, crying. I clearly was not the baby whisperer right now.

Bradly jumped up next to me and laid his fuzzy collie head on my lap. At least
he
remembered me. Claire came out of the kitchen holding Rose and sat on a love seat across the room, telling Rose it was Auntie Zoe. Rose didn’t seem to care or remember I’d been like a second mother to her just three months ago.

“How is school?” Claire asked absently. Claire had had to give up school and possibly an amazing career in design to come take care of me. Now she had Rose. Going back to school was pretty much out of the question living in a town like Leggetville.

She’d managed to make things work, but it had been a struggle for her. She was effectively stuck in this town for the rest of her life. Claire seemed perfectly happy to be a young mom with her new boyfriend Damien taking care of so much for her. I didn’t know if I could be the same way. Claire and I were very different people.

“School is going pretty well. It’s boring though. You don’t really get to study what you want for a long time.”

“It’ll get better. You can do anything you put your mind to, Zoe. You’ve always been that way.”

“Thanks, Claire.”

I slept in my old room that night, but it had completely new furniture. Damien had moved in, and they’d done a lot of work on the house since I’d been gone.

In the morning, Regan showed up looking amazing. She had the same psychologist I’d met in the mental hospital with her. Everyone embraced on the front porch while the rain began to brake from the hazy sky.

They came inside. I was so full of questions, I almost forgot about the mess my life was in. I helped Claire and Damien in the kitchen while the football game played on the huge flat screen in the living room.

We set the table with mom’s old china and arranged bouquets of fall flowers Damien had bought. Rose sat in her high chair and we passed around the perfectly roasted turkey, mashed potatoes, fresh biscuits, green beans, and all the fixings.

Claire and Damien made an awesome teem in the kitchen and dinner tasted amazing. I learned that Regan’s psychologist had stopped seeing her “officially” as her doctor and had avoided losing his license. Currently, she was living in his townhouse in Ukiah.

“I started playing piano again,” Regan told me. Her wild red hair had been tamed into soft waves that flowed down her back. Her blazing green eyes that so often held contempt and violence, now looked clear and full of passion when she talked about music. “I’ve been playing small concerts locally, but I have an agent who wants to take me national, even international.”

Regan had always been a piano prodigy, but her bipolar disorder had kept her from going to college. When she really broke down, it had driven her to drug addiction and suicide attempts.

I felt so glad Regan had gotten her life back together. It was hard to lose a sister to mental illness. Seeing Regan across the holiday table, looking chic and groomed to perfection, I was amazed she’d ever had so many problems.

After dinner, we sat around the living room watching movies on Netflix. It made me feel jealous that Rose went to Regan so easily now but ignored me. It used to be the other way around.

I spent the rest of the weekend hanging out with Claire and Damien. They were both busy people, but they’d taken the whole weekend off to be with me. No matter how much I longed to, I couldn’t tell Claire about the pregnancy. I didn’t want anyone to know.

Damien drove me back to the airport. Billy hadn’t called me again, but I didn’t want to talk to him. During the flight home, I slept the entire time. Stacy picked me up in Seattle and drove me back to the apartment. I couldn’t tell her about the pregnancy either. It felt like a deep, black secret was eating away at my soul.

When I got home, I went to my room and passed out. I couldn’t talk or think. I felt so insanely tired and sick to my stomach. I didn’t know if it was pregnancy symptoms or if I just felt sick from the trip.

In the morning, Billy texted me.

Are you back in Seattle?

Yes.

Are you going to school today?

I don’t know. I feel sick.

I’m coming over.

When she told me, I couldn’t believe it. We’d made a baby with one thoughtless mistake. Maybe part of me wanted it to happen. If we had a kid, she would be connected to me for the rest of her life, and I’d never lose her. Just the thought that I’d done it on purpose sickened me. I didn’t want to admit that maybe I was that kind of person.

The entire weekend that she’d been away, I could barely concentrate on my website. My thesis presentation had gone well, and I was about to be graduated. The interview with Joshua Steinman was just a few days away.

Daniel and I had been working furiously to complete the design and get the site up to beta level status. We’d added almost a hundred users in the last few weeks to see how the system worked under real world situations.

News that Zoe was pregnant threw my entire plan out of whack. I didn’t quite know where to place it. I knew I should be with her, helping her through a very stressful situation. She was only eighteen years old. Getting pregnant so young probably was not on her to-do list.

For me, the solution was a no brainer. I’d take care of her, everything would be fine. My site would hit big, and we’d be millionaires in a few years. But her reaction wasn’t at all what I’d expected. She seemed unsure about what to do.

What’s done was done. We couldn’t go back and change it. All we could do was look to the future. But Zoe didn’t seem to think that way. She was uncertain and that thought filled me with anxiety.

On the way to her apartment, rain fell heavily on my helmet as I drove my scooter down the sodden streets. When I arrived, I found her curled up on her couch with a box of tissues in her hands. Junk food wrappers were strewn across the floor. It looked like Zoe had been camped on that couch all day.

I’d never seen her eyes so full of tears or her beautiful face so red and puffy. I sat next to her and tried to pull her into my arms. She pushed me away as I reached out to her. The rejection stung.

“What’s wrong?”

“Everything’s wrong. How can you even ask me that?”

“It will be okay. I understand that you’re scared, but we’ll get through this. It’s just happening sooner than either of us had hoped.”

“What are you talking about? You’ve known me for exactly three months, and suddenly, you want to have a baby with me like we’re going to be together forever?’

“I know I love you. That’s all that matters.”

“That’s not enough. We’re both so young.”

“I could live a hundred years and still love you as much as I do now.”

She looked at me with a sneer. Why was she so angry? It didn’t make sense. I wanted to take care of her and the baby. What else could I do?

“Those are nice words, but you don’t know what the future holds. If I have this baby, I’m stuck. No more modeling, no more burlesque. No more school. My life is done. I’ll spend the rest of my youth changing diapers and spit-up on the same shirt I’ve been wearing for a week. Believe me, I know what it takes to raise a baby. My sister had one when I was seventeen. I helped her raise my niece Rose for a year. It was a twenty-four-seven job. Claire will never get her youth back. She’s already like a middle-aged lady. I can’t do that yet, Billy. I’m not ready to settle down and give up my life. I’m just not ready.”

“What are you saying? You… You don’t want to keep it?”

She looked away and stared out the window that overlooked the street. “I don’t know. Probably not?”

“What about us?”

“What about us? Why can’t we just go on like before?”

“But I want to keep it.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Zoe! Please, this isn’t fair. It’s my baby too.”

“If I don’t keep it, will you still love me?”

“I’ll always love you. Just think about it, okay? You don’t have to decide yet. I have my interview in three days. I have to focus. Just think about it. We’ll work it out.”

“Billy, if I don’t keep this baby, will you still want to be with me?”

Thoughts of my business and everything I’d invested into my work for the last four years pressed against my brain. Daniel was waiting for me to go over a series of tests to make sure our site was ready to show Steinman. I needed her to wait to make this decision until I could focus on her. I knew I was saying all the wrong things. If she kept pressing me, I’d blow.

“I don’t know. It would be a major betrayal. I want to keep it. I want us to be a family.”

“Did you do this on purpose, Billy?”

“Of course not! Why would you say that?”

“I just get this feeling that you did.”

I stood up and stood over her. I knew there was a part of me that had done it on purpose, and the fact that she knew filled me with rage. Why couldn’t she just wait a few days to talk about this? My phone vibrated in my pocket. I knew it was Daniel.

“Zoe, let’s just talk about this in a few days. Whatever decision we make can wait until then.”