Concisus (19 page)

Jennifer and Gabriella have taken a liking to the rescued animals and are thrilled when I ask for their help naming him. After a lot of debate they finally decide on Lapideus Limax – Latin for stone slug, but it’s a mouthful, so we call him Max for short.

Even though I’m enjoying my work, I’m happy for the distraction of the Thanksgiving celebration. Andi, Molly, and I meet up in the dorms to change and then head over to the recreation halls.

The first friends we find are Hazel and Troy, who stand out in their Pilgrim costumes. “You two look adorable,” Molly sweetly chirps.

“Thanks,” Hazel gushes. “I told Troy about the costumes, and he was nice enough to dress up with me, you know for moral support and all.” Across the room, another pilgrim waves to Hazel.

As soon as Hazel’s out of hearing range Troy snorts. “Don’t let her fool you. Her exact words to me were ‘If I have to squeeze my fat pregnant butt into one of those ridiculous outfits you are too.’ So you see it was the threat of death that got me into this thing.”

Dean comes up from behind and slaps Troy on the back hard enough to make him stumble forward a step. “The things we’ll do for women.”

Troy’s disgruntled sigh is half-hearted at best. He can gripe about the costume all he wants, but his eyes, gait, and entire demeanor reveal he’s having a blast. I can already picture him embarrassing the heck out of his kids by acting as goofy and ridiculous as possible, and always somehow blaming his antics on Hazel.

Hazel and the rest of the administrators in charge of base functions have gone all out for the celebration. Every rec hall has something going on, from pie eating contests and bobbing for apples to archery contests where the target is a figure of a gobbling turkey. Troy explains Hazel and her colleagues caught a lot of flak for not celebrating Halloween. They figured it was a kid’s holiday, and the base doesn’t have costumes anyway.

We work our way through each activity, slowly gathering more friends. By the end of the day when we make our way to the dance floor, all our friends are present.

Another pilgrim calls Hazel away, but Molly steps in and drags Troy to the dance floor. Jeremy and Andi follow them. As far as I know the two of them are still just friends, but Andi and Jackson have broken up, so there’s hope.

Jake tilts his head toward the dance floor, but I shake my head. “Nah, I want a drink first.”

“No need. Ryan’s getting drinks for the table.” Jake points across the room.

“Cool.” Mischievously, I tease Jake. “I bet you wish you thought of dressing up as a pilgrim or Indian.”

“Why? Because every gay guy dresses in flamboyant drag?”

“Oh God, I’m sorry. I was just trying to make a joke. I didn’t mean to insult you.”

“Relax. I’m joking too. You didn’t insult me. I’m just surprised that you brought it up. People usually don’t like to talk about uncomfortable things.”

I hate hearing the self-loathing tone in his voice. I cover his hand with mine. “You’re still the same person to me.”

“Thanks. That means a lot.” Tears glisten in his eyes.

“Have you told anyone else?” I ask.

“Yeah, after I told you, I told Ryan. He seems okay with it.”

“That’s good.” I watch Andi and Jeremy laughing as they dance across the floor. It’s unfair that Jake will never get to experience falling in love. Then again, if Jake got through the screening process, chances are he’s not the only one. “Hey Jake, have you ever heard of the warehouse?”

“Yeah, but I’ve never been there. You need a password to get in.”

“Talk to Dean. He can get you in,” I offer. I don’t think Jake’s ready to start dating yet, but when he is, he’ll at least know where to look. There’s at least one benefit to having an underground club and black market where base rule cease to exist – people can be who they want to be instead of who they’re supposed to be.

Ryan returns carrying a tray. “I wasn’t sure what everyone wanted so I got a pitcher of water and a pitcher of cider.”

“Thanks. I’ll try the cider.” I lift the pitcher and fill a glass.

The three of us sit in uncomfortable silence. I slowly sip my drink and stare at the table. Jake watches the dance floor, and Ryan continuously glances over, opens his mouth as if he wants to say something, but then quickly looks away. The dance music suddenly stops. A girl with a skin-tight, bright, pink sequined dress stands up on one of the tables. A blond guy with his hair slicked back, stands up on a table opposite her and waves as the song
Barbie Girl
starts playing. I watch as the couple performs a dance that’s almost as silly as the song’s lyrics. They quickly have the entire room laughing hysterically, but I feel tears brimming in my eyes.

“I’m going to get some air.” I hastily explain as I make a beeline to the exit.

Ryan follows me outside. “What’s wrong?”

I wipe my face against my sleeve. “That song was from my old Mp3 player.”

“But you told Andi you didn’t mind sharing the music.”

I bite my lip, still fighting the emotions that threaten to spill out and overwhelm me. “I didn’t. I mean I don’t. That song just brought up an old memory.”

“Oh.” Ryan softly breathes. “Do you want to tell me about it? It might help.”

His eyes expectantly watch me. I turn away. “My friend Jenna and I were hunting through my parents’ music one day, and I stumbled across that song. We thought it was the most ridiculous thing we’d ever heard. My parents overheard it playing, and came into the room reenacting their own skit to the song. At the time, I’d been totally mortified, but now…I know better. They didn’t notice Jenna and me in the room. They were too wrapped up in their own memories. They were still so in love that they could tune out the rest of the world and only see each other.”

I feel the warmth of Ryan’s hand as he rubs my back. “You miss them. There’s no shame in that.”

I face him. “No. I miss them, but that’s not it.”

He brushes a stray hair from my face. “Then what?”

I glance away, still unable to meet his intense gaze. “I thought we’d found what they had. I know you’re mad at me for not telling you sooner about the pods, but I want to believe we can get it back again.”

Ryan gently wipes the tears from my face, and then lifts my chin so my eyes meet his. As he steps closer, his eyes are full of hope and longing. “I’m not mad, not anymore. The way you pulled away the other day, I thought you were still mad at me.” He encircles my waist and pulls me against him. I gasp from the unexpected electric jolt his touch sends through me.

“You startled me. I didn’t mean to pull away, but afterward you seemed so distant that I assumed the touch was accidental. I guess we both need to work on our communication skills.”

“I close my eyes and tilt my head in anticipation, but my lips are left wanting. He lifts my hand so it cradles his cheek. He kisses my palm, then my wrist. The heat of his touch sears my skin and ignites my blood. In response to the unfamiliar sensations, my heart erratically thumps in my chest.

A soft moan escapes my lips. Ryan smiles and runs his fingers up my arm. He traces circles along my collarbone, tickles my neck with his light brush, and then cradles my head in his hand. My lips part in anticipation, but he makes me wait. His lips hover close enough that I can feel his breath and imagine the bittersweet taste of cider that lingers upon them. I rise up on my toes to meet him, but he pulls back, just enough to counter my movement. Then when I’m convinced I can’t stand any more waiting, his lips press against mine. The sweet kisses I remember are not like this one, where his lips are hungry and demanding, determined to take all that they can. My lips willingly give back.

When we finally break apart I’m dizzy, but it’s not from lack of air. I rest my head against his chest and listen to the wild beat of his heart and wonder how I ever could have been willing to let him go without a fight.

I gaze at his face and stare into beautiful green eyes. Ryan leans in and nuzzles my ear as he says, “Let me take you on a date.”

“What?”

He laughs at my confused expression. “We’ve never actually been on a date. What better way to start things over than with a first date?”

“Okay, a first date. What do you feel like doing?”

He winks. “Leave the details to me.”

We go back inside and rejoin the rest of the group. The moment they see us they may guess what’s happened because I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Tonight I don’t care. My friends are genuinely happy for us, and for one night, we forget all our worries and just enjoy dancing.

Chapter 16

The next day Ryan and Jake get stuck cleaning up after Elliot again and Molly is busy cataloging rock samples with Gabriella. I head to lunch by myself and enjoy it while I read a novel. A sudden burst of laughter disrupts me. I glance up to see Kelly and two of her friends slowly walking by my table. They each glance over at me as they pass. I pretend I’m reading as I watch the trio sit at a table near me, instead of their usual table in the center of the dining hall, which allows them to be observed and admired by all. I can think of only one reason for their behavior—Ryan. They must have seen us dancing last night.

They ignore the food on their trays. Instead, they lean their heads in and whisper. Occasionally one of them cackles and shoots a glare in my direction. They can whisper all the insults and jokes they want about me if it helps Kelly get over Ryan.

I turn my attention back to my book but can’t concentrate.

“She sounds like a nightmare,” one of Kelly’s friends says, her voice louder than necessary for ordinary conversation.

As they whisper, they intentionally say certain words louder than the rest—words like “slut” and “whore.” All my energy is required to maintain my composure though blood roars in my ears. I want to storm right over and tell them all off, but I’m determined not to let her see me riled, even if it means enduring insults and doing nothing. I finish my lunch, stand up, and collect my plate. As I pass them to return my tray, one of the Kelly’s friends clicks her tongue at me.

I glare in her direction and realize that Kelly’s other friend is missing. I turn back around and discover where she is—right behind me with a plate piled high with sauce and spaghetti. She collides with me, rubbing the plate into my shirt. I clench my hands into fists. Some people apparently never grow out of their high school mentality.

“Oops,” she says smugly.

My rage temporarily chokes me, but I find my voice. “Don’t you worry about it—we all have our clumsy days.” I pat her hand and sweetly say, “I’ll just stop by the laundry on my way back to work. No harm done.”

Ryan enters the dining hall as I’m wiping the larger puddles of sauce and noodles off my shirt. “What happened to you?”

I decide not to say anything to Ryan. Kelly’s gotten revenge out of her system, so I won’t make a big deal out of it. “Just a clumsy accident. It’s nothing a fresh set of clothes can’t fix.” He picks a noodle out of my hair.

I laugh. “Okay. Fresh clothes and a shower.”

Ryan hands me some more napkins. “Do you have a change of clothes or do you need me to run to the laundry?”

“Thanks, but I have fresh clothes in the dorm. Do you want to meet me in the field lab after?”

He leans in and brushes his lips against mine. “I’d like to, but there are some things I need to do first. I’ll meet you at the end of the day, by our rock.”

I wonder just what he’s up to, but a gob of sauce made its way under my shirt add is trickling down my collarbone. “Okay, I’ll catch you later.” I quickly wave goodbye and hurry toward the exit. I glance in Kelly’s direction on the way out, her face is livid.

A shower is just what I need. I let the wonderful hot water soak me and heat my muscles. I even catch myself singing. Shower acoustics are the best. I feel pretty good by the time I turn the water off, but when I reach for my towel, it’s not there.

A sinking feeling hits me. I look at my pod. Both my dirty clothes and my clean ones are gone. Twice today, Kelly has gotten the better of me. How could I have missed her or one of her lackeys following me back to the dorm? I don’t want to invade anyone’s privacy, but I really don’t want to spend the day stuck naked in here, so I peek inside of Andi’s locker which is empty, not a single piece of clothing or a towel. Then, I sneak a peak in all the lockers lacking combination locks and confirm that no one has any towels or clothes.

Like it or not I’m stuck here. I consider wrapping one of the shower curtains around myself, but when I run my hand down one of them, I change my mind. I’m pretty sure they haven’t been cleaned since we first arrived here— I’d rather remain naked. Sitting on my pod is uncomfortable. I need something to keep me busy. I decide to blow-dry my hair for a change. I usually avoid blow-drying it because it takes too long, but until someone returns to the dorm, time is all I have.

I’ve worn my hair in a ponytail for so long that I’d forgotten how nice my hair is blown dry. My long auburn hair still curls, but the curls are soft and loose. Even with all the time I’ve taken, no one has returned to the dorm. I scrounge up the little makeup I own and borrow a bit from Andi. After my face is finished, I give myself a manicure, and then follow it with a pedicure. I’m just finishing up my last toe when a girl covered in sweat and wearing workout clothes stumbles through the door.

I push my embarrassment aside and explain the bad humored practical joke to her. She runs to the laundry center to get both of us new clothes. After I’m dressed, I run down to the laundry center, explain to the attendant what happened, and then make several trips to restock clothing and towels for all the girls. I leave them in piles on top of the pods with a note explaining the prank. I leave out the fact that I opened their lockers, and instead just say I wanted to make sure no one was without clean clothes tomorrow morning. By the time I finish, it’s time to meet Ryan.

My grumpy mood melts away when I see him waiting for me. He’s got a backpack hitched on his shoulder. When I ask about it, he just playfully smiles.

“You’ll see.” He motions for me to follow him and leads me into married housing. I feel uneasy being here. Excluding Troy’s and Hazel’s house, the last time I was in one of these houses, I was heartbroken. The time before that Brody proposed to me, and I passed out. Not exactly the kind of memories I want to relive. Ryan leads me past the occupied houses, into the unoccupied area, to a wide-open break in the houses.