Compulsion: Magnetic Desires (19 page)

"Fucking hell." I dragged my hand through my hair. "I am not Zack. I’m not
that
guy, Clo. You know that."

"You were kissing her. She was all over you. Right in front of me."

Taking a deep breath, I pulled her into my chest, refusing to let her go. Her body shook as she struggled against me, but this was too important to let her go. Not for the first time, I wished I’d told her about Zack cheating on her after high school. If only I had, she wouldn’t be struggling so much now. "I wasn’t kissing her. Do you remember Ems, from senior year?"

She stilled in my arms, taking a moment before she answered. "Wasn’t she blond?"

A chuckle rumbled in my throat. "Yes."

"That... that was her, in there?"

"Yes. She’s a little... exuberant tonight. Celebrating with some friends."

"I wouldn’t have recognized her." Her fingers curled against my chest, the first sign she was letting go of her doubts.

"I almost didn’t." I cupped her cheek with my hand, and tilted her face up to mine. "Trust me, Clo. You’re my air, my gravity. Always have been and always will be. My life revolves around you. You are the only girl I want to kiss. The only one I want to be with. Nothing has ever changed that. I would never do anything to jeopardize that."

Hands tangled in my hair, she pulled me down to her. Her lips whispered over mine. "I know that. I mean I should know that. I do...know you would never set out to hurt me. But when I saw you in there..."

"You didn’t see me. You saw Zack, and every damn thing he ever did to hurt you."

She gave a tiny nod. "I love you, Orion. More than I’ve ever loved you before, but I don’t know how to undo the damage. I don’t know how to just... trust. How am I supposed to forget my fears?"

"It’ll take time. I knew that when we started this thing. I didn’t come in to this with the belief it would be easy. Worth it? Yes. But easy? No, babe. I’m a patient man. Day after day, I’ll prove you can trust me, until you forget you had fears in the first place."

The gap between us disappeared as she pressed her mouth to mine, and our tongues tangled in a slow sensual caress. Breaking apart, our breath mingling as I kept her close, I asked. "Do you want to go in and say hello to Ems?"  

She nodded. "And then I want to go back to the hotel room, where I can have you all to myself."

"Okay, deal." Tucking her under my arm, I pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead. "Let’s make this quick."

"W
hen you’ve been in love with someone for so long, it can be hard to take things slow. I wanted to give her everything, because she meant everything to me. Hell, if she said the word I'd have married her in a heartbeat. But, I knew I had to take things one step at a time. We finally took the drive out to Red Dog Hill, like we’d planned on doing when we were kids."

September 2011

I led her out to the shed. "Come on, there’s something I want to show you."

Curiosity piqued, she followed behind me. "What is it?"

Swinging open the wood doors, I grinned as I revealed my other girl.

"Is that...?" She moved forward and stroked the mirror black surface of the GTO.

"It is." I leaned against the door, and crossed my arms over my chest as I watched her check out the car. She hadn’t seen the GTO since she’d tutored me in high school.

"She’s beautiful. When did you do this?"

I caressed the roof of the car. "I did the paint job six months after you left for college. Every cent I earned went into her. Sprayed her myself."

"It’s amazing, Orion." She leaned down to check out the interior before she popped her head up to gaze at me. "How come you never drive it?"

"The truck makes more sense for work."

"Does she start?"

"Yeah. She’s in perfect working order. In fact"— I caught her up from behind and nibbled her ear— " how about we take her for that drive we always used to talk about?"

Bouncing into my arms, she wound her arms around my neck. "That would be great. We can show her off."

The car wasn’t the only thing I’d be showing off. I opened the passenger door for her, and she stood on her tiptoes to kiss me before she climbed into the car. Sliding in behind the steering wheel, I held my breath and said a silent prayer as I started her up. The car rumbled to life and I released my breath as I pulled out of the shed. She purred as we hit the road.

We drove out past the limits of Reverence, and up to the lookout on Red Dog Hill.

"Wow, you can see everything from up here." Clo clambered out of the car.

"Come here." I tucked her into my arms and pointed over my shoulder. "There’s my house."

"Where’s mine?"

My world tilted on its axis as she gazed up at me, her face shining with happiness. As soon as I got the chance I would marry her. Squinting, I searched out her house down below. "Over there, I think."

"I’ve never been up here," she said, "I wish I had let you bring me up here then. I can’t believe I missed out on this view."

"Zack never brought you up here?" Red Dog Hill had also been known as Hookup Hill when we were teenagers.

She shook her head. "Maybe he kept it for the others."

I pressed my lips to her hair. "I always wanted to bring you up here, but then I never could stop thinking about kissing you."

"I thought about it too. You know, after that day, but our timing was so off, and I really thought he loved me."

"I don't know, babe. All I know is that I loved you then as much as I do now. And the past doesn't matter to me. This, right now, does."

Turning in my arms, she pressed her mouth to mine. "It’s a pity we didn’t bring a picnic."

"I might have packed one."

We grabbed the blanket and basket from the backseat and strolled down to a section of grass where we could spread out.

"This looks good." She popped a juicy strawberry into her mouth. "You’re the kind of man every woman should marry."

"And you?" Would she say yes, if I produced a ring and got down on bended knee?

"I’m not the marrying kind." She bit into another strawberry.

"You would never consider marrying me?" The answer interested me more than I was willing to let her know.

"That better not be some kind of proposal." She aimed a strawberry at me.

"What if it is?" Reclining back on the blanket, I smirked. If she was going to say yes, then I was going to propose. We could pick out a ring later.

Abandoning the food, she stood in front of me, arms akimbo. "I love you, but if you want a girl you can marry, you better start looking elsewhere. I won’t get married again."

"Okay." I placed my hands palm up in surrender. "I wasn’t asking you to marry me."

She sagged in relief. "Good. I don’t want to have to turn you down. I don’t want another one of my issues to come between us."

"But I will one day, and when I do, you’ll say yes, because you won't be able to imagine life any other way."

"I highly doubt that." Crossing her arms over her chest, she pouted. "You’re going to be disappointed."

"Is that a challenge?"

Her eyes widened. "Oh."

Jumping up, I stalked toward her. "It is a challenge."

"Oh." With a giggle she skirted the blanket out of my reach.

"You want me to chase you?" I advanced on her.

"Maybe." Turning, she started running down the hill.

I gave her a head start and then chased after her. When I caught her up, hauling her into my arms, she squealed. Slipping my hand into the back of her jeans I tugged gently at the lace beneath. "When I do ask you to marry me, you won't be able to say no."

"Is that so?" She traced my jaw with her lips as I carried her to the car and placed her on the backseat.

"It is. We're made for each other, babe." Unzipping her jeans, I pulled them down. "But for now, I'm just going to owe you another pair of panties."

Another squeal accompanied her hands over her crotch. "Here? You want to do it here?"

"Why not? It's about time the car got christened." I settled on the seat between her legs.

"You never... not once?" Her gaze darted around the back seat.

"Not one girl has ever been in the back of this car. We were always waiting for you."

Moving her hands to the sides of her panties, she dug her fingers into the lace and tore it away. "Could we at least shut the door?"

Nodding, I shifted her onto my lap and yanked the door shut. Her deft fingers undid my pants as I cupped her neck and devoured her mouth. Then she settled over me, pulling me inside her, and began to rock.

"U
nfortunately I kept a secret from her. A secret I had kept from her despite everything. Secrets can destroy."

November 2011

Her car sat in the driveway, and my heart skipped a beat as I got out of the truck and grabbed my cooler. I loved the days that I came home to her. It was an extra layer of domestic bliss that I wanted to have every day. How much longer did she need until she would be willing to admit she belonged in my bed each night?

Covered in dirt and dust from laying bricks, I trekked through the backyard to the laundry. A quick change into clean clothes I went to find her.

My stomach rumbled as the aroma of garlic wafted toward me. She chopped vegetables at the counter, stopping when I leaned into her and nibbled her neck. A contented moan escaped her lips as she leaned into me.

"I love coming home to you." Her skin prickled wherever my fingers trailed. "It should be every night."

Pressing against her ass, I tilted her head back to give me access to her mouth. "Since you won't marry me, move in with me." I tugged up her shirt revealing her silken skin and ran my hands up her belly to cup her tits. "You belong here with me."

"I don’t... think that’s a good idea." She whimpered as I pinched a nipple between my fingers.

Teasing her lips apart, I consumed her. "Why not? You're here most of the time anyway. You have a drawer full of panties in my bedroom. You can't stay away from me. Besides, isn't it time we got realistic about what this relationship is?"

"Those panties are all ruined, Orion." Groaning, she moved my hand to her pussy, pressing it to where she wanted me. "I don’t want to. If we move in together..."

"We’re not like that, babe. Things can only get better between us." Bending her over the bench, I hiked up her skirt and slid a finger over her soaked thong.

She arched into me. "Everything was great with Zack before we moved in together, before I married him. I don’t want to go through that with you."

I tugged her panties down, distracted by how wet she was and how much I wanted to slip inside her. "Zack was who he was when you met him. It wasn’t you. He was always a rat-bastard."

There was an immediate shift in her body's reaction to my probing fingers, and she jerked away from me, twisting to face me with wide eyes. "What are you saying?"

"Shit. Nothing." I tried to pull her into my arms so we could continue. Why hadn't I come clean with her back then? "It's nothing."

"It's not nothing. I can see on your face it’s not nothing. Tell me." Resting her head on my shoulder, she begged me with those eyes of hers.

Telling her would hurt her, but I hadn't left myself a choice. Why couldn't I have kept my mouth shut? It should have been water under the bridge. Maybe it was. Perhaps she wouldn't take it so badly now, since Zack was long gone, then again wasn't this how this conversation had started. Would she see this as a betrayal, after every time I'd shown her I wasn't going to be the type of man to ruin her trust in me?

"Fuck." Shaking my head, I stepped away from her, needing to get this out. I forced the words out through gritted teeth. "Zack cheated on you the night before you left for college."

"He what?" She furrowed her brow as she tried to make sense of what I told her.

"You remember I took you home from the party? When I went back, I found him upstairs with another girl. I wanted to tell you so you could be free of him, but he begged me not to. He promised me it wouldn't happen again. You were so damn in love with him, and I... I was in love with you."

"I can't believe this." She sagged into a chair and I crouched in front of her, needing to give her comfort the way I always had. "I didn’t know what to do. All I knew was I couldn’t break your heart, so I didn’t tell you, and I should have. I’m sorry, Clo."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Eyes wide as saucers, she stared up at me. "You were supposed to be my best friend, but you never told me? You let me marry him knowing he was a rat-bastard?"

"I know I should have, but at the time I believed I was doing the right thing. I love you. Don’t let it change what we have here."

Her head snapped up and she jerked her knee out from under my hand. "Of course it does," she whispered. "You’ve kept the truth from me all these years. I can’t trust you either."

The acrid smell of burnt sauce filled the air in a haze while she gathered her things and stormed out the door.

***

D
owning two-thirds of a bottle of bourbon hadn't helped ease the ache in my chest, but it had left me fully dressed and passed out on top of the covers. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I dragged my ass out of bed to get ready for work.
Be a damn robot, Orion.
Had not telling her been so bad she couldn’t trust me anymore? After everything else I’d done to show her I was a better man. One stupid fuck-up, and she was gone?

Picking up my keys and phone, I headed for the truck. I couldn't count how many times I'd called her last night and still nothing from her. Firing off a text, I shoved my phone in my pocket before I tossed it. There wasn't much chance she'd reply. It was utter fucking bullshit. Not that I'd expected her to wave it off like it was nothing, but I’d proven myself over and over. One dumb mistake when we were teenagers shouldn't have destroyed everything we'd built together. Cutting me out because she was scared was nothing more than an excuse, and definitely not enough for me to give up on her.

Starting the truck, I backed out the driveway. The cab rocked as I clipped the gutter and shifted into first. At least at work, I would be able to release my frustration on bricks and lumber. What I really wanted to do was find her and remind her why I was nothing like him, but both our emotions were running high. We’d already said things we regretted, done things we couldn’t take back. No, I’d go to work and afterwards, when she’d had time to cool down I’d go to her and make her see reason. I’d help her remember why I was nothing like that dickhead, and why she didn’t have to be scared to trust me.