Compliments (14 page)

(24-20) x 9 -18

Hawk’s bedroom reveals itself to me in the morning light through one cracked eye. It’s nothing exceptionally unique, which oddly disappoints me. Is it because he’s so different from anyone I’ve ever known that I expect to find artifacts proving that theory? If so, it’s time to get my expectations in check. Bed, queen with plain white comforter, no headboard. Desk? Covered in papers, wood, scratched, with a student chair of a mismatched stain. Closet? Door slightly ajar, and the outline of what’s probably a laundry pile barely peeking around the corner. The only characteristic I find, which tells me I’m indeed in Hawk’s abode and not that of a dormitory transplant, is a poster on which tall white letters contrast against a black background.

MATHEMATICS CAN EXPLAIN EVERYTHING, EXCEPT THAT WHICH SIMPLY DOESN’T ADD UP.

Hawk’s nowhere to be found when I rise. Instead, there’s a note on the bedside stand.

“Gone out for something to feed you, woman. Figured you’d need some good grub after last night. Or, more appropriately, you’re going to need some to be ready for today. Be back soon.”

I find that he’s left me a pile of clothes at the end of the bed. While his flannel pj bottoms and Manderson crew T-shirt aren’t exactly my size, it’s better than walking around naked, I think. At this point, I wouldn’t mind doing so in front of Hawk, but the morning air is a bit nippy and I’m happy for the warmth.

The T-shirt falls down over me as my thoughts turn to the prior evening. A twist in my stomach has me clutching at my midriff when I remember the feel of Harrison’s hands. I also realize for the first time that I left my bag in his hotel room, and that everything from my wallet to my laptop to my cell phone is in it. As much as I’m not ready to face him, so much of my life is on that computer and in that bag. Part of me wants to ask Hawk to drive me back to the conference venue immediately to retrieve it, but I know that’s just not going to happen. Hopefully Harrison’s not that good at hacking past passwords.

By the time I hear Hawk’s car out front, I’ve washed myself and calmed down. I’ve even managed to brew some coffee and am drinking a cup when he walks into the kitchen.

“Ah, I was right!” He leans down with a full grocery bag and brushes a kiss to my cheek.

“About what?”

“You
are
beautiful in the morning light,” he declares. He begins pulling pastries from the sack like Mary Poppins pulling out house plants and hat racks from her carpet bag. “I realized when I got to the store that we’ve never had breakfast together. I literally have no clue what you like, other than coffee, so I got a bit of everything. Eggs, bacon, bagels, cream cheese. No lox, though, but then again, you didn’t seem to me like a person who leans kosher pareve.”

“That would make the bacon useless as well, wouldn’t it?”

He nods as desperation fills his features. “For the love of all pork-product goodness, tell me you’re not Jewish.”

“If you round up, I’d probably be considered a Baptist, but it’s been a while,” I answer.

The tension ebbs from his face as he opens the package and grabs a frying pan from the dish rack. “
Phew.
There’s few deal breakers you’re going to run into with me, but the inability to appreciate bacon and making fun of lacrosse are two we should get out of the way pronto. So, lacrosse?”

“I have no opinion, for or against.”

He considers this a moment before bobbing his head. “Good, because I’d hate to break up with you the morning after such incredible sex because of that, but I would. Mind you, it would be the principle of the thing, and not because I actually disliked you. We could still acknowledge each other in pleasant company.”

“And sleep together?”

“Well, of course we’d still sleep together,” he declares without missing a beat. “I’d just ridicule you about the abomination of combining soccer and tennis into a so-called sport between orgasms. I’d also send you straight home afterward, and feel really badly about what we’d done in the morning.”

All through an omelet, two cups of coffee, and half a bagel with cream cheese, Hawk keeps the conversation light, and keeps me smiling. It isn’t until there’s a lull almost a half hour later when his smile goes straight and focuses on me with a new gaze.

“Robin, what do you want to do?”

He’s not asking if I want to go for a walk, or see a movie, or curl up on the couch, and that fact pulls down the corners of my mouth. I put down my coffee cup and lean back.

“What do you think I should do?”

“I think you should report him,” he says. “If not the police, then at least the ombudsmen. This isn’t an isolated incident. Harrison has a history, and he’s going to do it again if someone doesn’t come forward.”

As awkward as I know it will be to discuss this with anyone else, I know Hawk’s right. I want to tell. I want to make sure I’m the last person he traps like this. But the police? I don’t want this going public. If I was any other person, I wouldn’t hesitate. Unfortunately, I’m not. I wear my scarlet letter with full knowledge of what it means, and knowing that all it would take is a few lengths of thread to add another to my chest.

“Look, Hawk, what he tried to do to me is disgusting, but I’m not sure there was any criminal offense.”

“He tried to rape you!” Hawk bursts out. He immediately softens his features when he sees the shock on my face.

“He tried to make out with me,” I insist, remembering the details. “True, I told him to stop, and he didn’t right away, but he also didn’t achieve anything. As soon as I pushed him off of me, he didn’t get any further. Besides, he’ll argue that I was consenting. After all, I did accept an offer to stay in his room, I followed his advice to keep it secret like something was going on, and I willingly dressed in nothing more than my underclothes and his T-shirt. I know how this works, Hawk. I’ve been the campus slut before. After what happened to me at Colorado, knowing how hard it was to go on with my studies after everything came out in the open … I’m not eager to do that again.”

“I know I should try to convince you that no matter what, you should go to the police, that it’s only by putting him behind bars that you’ll feel vindicated. But, hell, Robin, I get it. With your history, everyone’s going to assume you’ve just fallen into a relationship with another professor like you did before, and Harrison will play that up. If you want to handle this behind closed doors, I understand. However, I want you to know, if you remember something else that happened or you change your mind, and you do decide you want to go to the cops and file a report, I’ll stand by you completely.”

He reaches across the table and threads my fingers through his, squeezing. I pull Hawk’s hand to my lips and press my appreciation against the back of his hand.

But he’s not done. “I do want to see him get what’s coming to him, which means going to the ombudsmen to report him. If you don’t feel like there’s charges to press, Ferris won’t force you, but we’ve got to do what we can to get Harrison out of Manderson. Would you be willing to do that? I’ll go with you if it will help, of course.”

I nod. “Yes, I’ll talk to Prof. Ferris, but do you think she’ll believe me? She knows my history, so she’ll already be prejudiced against me.”

“No, she won’t. She’ll believe it without a second of hesitation.”

He says it with such conviction, I tilt my head to the side in wonder. “How are you so sure?”

His chewing slows down and Hawk’s gaze loses focus. After a moment of indecision, he grabs a napkin, dots the corners of his mouth, and focuses back on me.

“There’s a reason I’m the night janitor at the Yang building.”

This … tells me nothing. “I thought it was because you needed the money.”

“Not really, though I guess every cent helps. I make enough teaching in the Outreach Program and from tutoring to live off of. Not saying I enjoy a steak dinner three times a week, but I get by okay. Besides, before I was suspended, I was fully funded. I’ve been putting away money for a while.”

“Why, then?”

“To find evidence,” he says. When my blank expression tells him I’m not following, he goes on. “You’re not the only one, Robin. Unfortunately, Fi refused to say anything, but she wasn’t the first. After she left, we knew it was just a matter of time before he found someone new. I was hired as the night janitor so I could go through the trash and sift for evidence he was doing it to someone else. God, Robin, I’m so incredibly sorry. You’ve got to believe me, I never thought it would be you.”

While I understand why he’s apologizing, I’m more focused on one precise word among all those he just said. “We?”

“Like I said, you weren’t the only one he did something like this to.”

“Me, Fi, and others?”

A pregnant pause gives birth to his horrible revelation. “He did this to a junior faculty when she started at the department a few years ago. The same thing he tried to do to you, he succeeded in doing to Ferris.”

(3 * 5) + 12² / 12 - 8

Hawk squeezes my hand before pulling it to his lips, kissing the back. How he manages to look at any woman, let alone me, with such reverence is beyond me. Yet, I can see it in the grace of each movement he makes in my direction. I am as soft as silk to him, and knowing that, I feel as strong as steel.

The receptionist in the department’s central office looks up at us with a start when we enter. I’ve had very few dealings with Felicia; my only other encounter outside of passing her in the hallways was to drop my tax forms when I started my position with the Outreach Program. Even from that limited encounter, I never got the impression that she was flighty. I’m off put by the way she pushes herself back from her desk, almost as if trying to place more distance between us, and disturbed by the buggish quality of her eyes.

“Miss Lewis, Mr. Stephens … What are you two doing here? And together?”

Forcing Hawk to pause right inside the door, I lean over to him. “I thought you said you’d made an appointment.”

He matches my volume. “I did. I texted Prof. Ferris and said we needed to see her this morning. Maybe she didn’t get the message.” He continues, directing his comments to Felicia, “Is Prof. Ferris in yet? She’s probably expecting us.”

“She is, only …” She directs one highly-glossed nail back over her shoulder. “She’s in with the chair right now. And Prof. Harrison.”

My abdomen clenches and my flight instincts have me turning on heel, but Hawk pulls me back, refusing to let me back down.

“It could be total coincidence,” he says. “We talked about this, remember? At some point, sooner or later, you have to face him. In a way, better now so we can just get this into the open.”

“You’re right.” A deep inhalation centers me and lets me muster my courage. “Felicia, I need to speak to the ombudsman. I need to see Prof. Ferris as soon as she’s done.”

“Actually, you can go right in.”

Both Hawk and I draw blank expressions, before Hawk asks, “In to Prof. Ferris’s office to wait for her?”

“No, into the chair’s office,” says Felicia in a tone that makes me feel like she’s questioning my intelligence. “I was just about to call you. Prof. Harrison and the chair asked me to get a hold of you as soon as possible this morning and if you’d happen to be in, to join them. Then a few minutes later Prof. Ferris showed up and asked me to contact Hawk as well. I phoned to the administrative office over at the Outreach Center—Prof. Ferris said you teach there at this time of day—but they said you called in sick today. I was just looking up your cell number in our files.”

Hawk and I exchange confused and worried glances. A moment later, his features shift, and he holds my hand just a little bit firmer. “You ready to do this?”

Am I? He’s right, I knew I’d have to face down Harrison eventually, but I didn’t think it was going to be at eight forty-three on the Monday morning after he tried to attack me. Luckily, in Hawk’s eyes, I see his faith in me, as well as his support. I find my own grip tightening as I nod.

I turn to Felicia. “Thanks, we’ll go in now.”

Perhaps they didn’t expect us to be so quick to respond to their request. Or maybe it’s the fact that Hawk and I hold hands as we enter. Hawk must realize this too, as he tries to remove his hand from mine without seeming panicked. My grip tightens, and I turn to him, shaking my head.

“We have nothing to hide,” I whisper to him.

He smiles. “No, we don’t.”

All three faculty’s eyes take inventory of us with some amount of amazement. Prof. Ferris’s expression settles in to mild amusement, a smile teasing the corners of her mouth. Harrison, on the other hand, scowls briefly. As soon as he’s aware my eyes are on him, he blanks out his emotions. I, on the other hand, can’t hide mine when I see his chin. My bite didn’t turn out to be nearly as bad as I remembered it; three stitches managed to seal up the rip. While I’m not certain what kind of person that makes me, taking pleasure from his injury, I remember the circumstances and decide I’m perfectly at ease with what I’ve done.

Woo clears his throat. “Glad that you could come so quickly. Please take a seat.”

Not merely a small, boxy room meant to house a desk and pictures of his grandkids, Woo’s office expands out into a long rectangle, allowing room for a small conference table. It is here that he, Prof. Ferris, and Harrison are seated; Woo at the head, and the other two faculty at opposing positions on his left and right. As if by instinct, I move to sit in friendly territory, at the side of Prof. Ferris, but Hawk gently coaxes me to the far head of the table, where he pulls two chairs close in so that there’s room for us both to sit. I’m not sure where to start the conversation, so I’m relieved when Hawk speaks before me.

“Prof. Woo, Prof. Ferris, Harrison,” he says, acknowledging each in turn. His ability to remain so cool and professional in the face of the man who may have turned out to ruin his academic prospects amazes me. “You asked to see us?”

Woo shifts and takes up a notepad, across which blue and red ink marks have been slashed. “Indeed. Hawk, you’re already on academic suspension, pending your hearing next week. I want you to know, I’ll understand if you don’t want to discuss anything during this meeting. However, if you choose to speak, I’ll be certain that matter stays separate of this one. Prof. Ferris suggested we call you in for this. Of course, as the matter involves Miss Lewis’s conduct, I will need her to acknowledge that your presence is acceptable. Prof. Harrison has already agreed to it.”

“It’s more than acceptable,” I reply. “It’s critical.”

Woo nods. “Okay, then, let’s just get to it. Robin, Prof. Harrison claims that while you two attended a conference this weekend, you attempted to seduce him. As this sort of fraternization between students and faculty is a violation of our code of ethics, he believes you were attempting to frame him for misconduct. You left behind your bag in his room, and he found a camera. Furthermore, he states that when he refused your advances, you attacked him, resulting in the injuries to his face.”

I catch a flicker of a smile out of the corner of my eyes, but Hawk pulls back on his poker face in a flash. “I believe Harrison missed his true calling. Here he is, busying himself with mathematics, when he has such a natural talent for creative fiction.”

Harrison manages to appear nonplussed. He leans back in his seat, folding his hands into his lap. “I just learned that you’ve been moonlighting as this department’s nighttime custodian. It appears as though you’ve found yours.”

Ferris bristles. Sounding both professional and harsh, I admire the way she balances her temperament. “Hawk Stephens is one of the most gifted students admitted in his year. One of the best of the five years I’ve been on the faculty here, in fact. Whatever issues you have with him, Peter, don’t you dare for a moment insult his intelligence by demeaning his work ethic.”

“He hasn’t, because there’s nothing demeaning about being a janitor.” Everyone’s eyes flash to me, as though surprised to learn that I’m able to speak. I take my queue from Prof. Ferris and lean forward, folding my hands and placing them on the table. “Before I answer anything, would someone share with me how it is I supposedly went about this?”

Woo says, “Prof. Harrison says you snuck into his hotel room, came out of the bathroom dressed in nothing but an undershirt, then lashed out at him when he refused to go along with what you wanted. He claims the injury resulting in stitches was your doing. Do you deny any of this?”

“Not in the least.”

Hawk rounds on me. “Robin?”

“It’s the truth, Hawk,” I say. “All of those things did happen.”

Perplexed, Prof. Woo doubles back. “So you’re saying his accusations are true?”

“On the contrary, Prof. Woo, I’m denying everything. Accusations are all about intent, and all you did was list facts, even if they are only partial.”

“Something you wish to supplement, Robin?”

I nod. “I did sneak into his hotel room. What he didn’t tell you was that I snuck
in at
his
request and after he offered to let me stay with him. He didn’t want anyone to see me. He specifically told me
not
to let anyone see me. I thought he was just being overly protective. Now I realize he was, of himself. Second, yes, I did dress in his undershirt. He offered it to me, because I had no change of clothes. You see, I wasn’t aware we were to be staying at the conference overnight. He never told me.”

“We?” Prof. Woo queries.

To my surprise, it’s Prof. Ferris that jumps in on that. “Peter offered to give Robin a ride to the conference, but he never advised her they’d be overnighting.”

“And how do you know that, Joanna?” Prof. Woo says to Prof. Ferris.

“I was in the office late Friday afternoon and I happened to see Peter’s trip itinerary on Felicia’s desk. There was a request for disbursement from his funding for Robin’s conference registration, but actual travel expenses for only himself. I asked Felicia if she’d been asked to book Robin’s hotel or reimburse her mileage, and she reported that Peter said specifically that Robin wouldn’t need it.”

“I’m pretty certain I told Robin she’d need to arrange her own travel.” Harrison flicks his head to the side as though shooing away the statement. “We can’t ask Felicia to spend her already pressed time to book travel for every student who goes to a conference. Especially when it’s an unnecessary trip, and one a faculty offers only as a favor to help a certain student out.”

His bile-tainted words flow in my direction.

Harrison turns back to Woo. “Furthermore, it’s standard in my group for students to arrange their own travel. I did offer her to ride with me there. We must have miscommunicated.”

“On the contrary, Peter,” Ferris growls out his name like an insult. “If there’s one thing you excel in, it’s your ability to communicate very precisely.”

I know I’m not the only one conscious of the stare down going on between the two faculty. I see confusion on Prof. Woo’s face. He moves to change the subject.

“And the biting?”

“Again, true.” I stare down Harrison. A flicker of satisfaction goes through me when I see his lip curl. “At that moment, I couldn’t think of a better way to get you off of me as you pinned me down on the bed.”

Woo takes his glasses off and rubs at his eyes. “Robin, are you claiming that Prof. Harrison tried to rape you?”

“Not exactly.” Although I want to see the bastard suffer, I know nothing good will come out of exaggerating the truth. “I don’t know if Harrison was after that, but it was very clear he wanted me to do something with him. He told me I owed him for everything he’d done for me, that if I wanted him to keep doing things for me, I had to return the favor.”

Prof. Ferris coughs a laugh. “Still using the same line, Peter?”

“Ridiculous!” The lower rumble gurgling from Harrison’s throat makes me want to grab a pencil from the nearby cup full of writing utensils and plunge it in to his neck. “Philip, isn’t it clear what’s going on here? Lewis and Stephens must have met, Stephens broke the accord of his non-disclosure agreement regarding his own suspension and convinced Lewis of his side of the story, then used my growing
academic
interest in Lewis to get her to put me in this position. He knows he’s going to be kicked out next week and this is his last chance to exact revenge.”

Prof. Woo sighs, his gaze drifting between Harrison and I, before slowly giving Hawk the once over. He turns to Prof. Ferris, who has reclaimed her subtle indifference, but not without a great deal of measure.

“You’re the ombudsman, Joanna. What do you make of all of this?”

She squares her shoulders. “This, and after what happened with Sophia—”

“What
allegedly
happened,” Harrison interjects. “Unless you’re condemning me before the hearing, which would be very un-ombudsmanlike behavior.”

“Two raindrops does not a shower make, but that doesn’t mean they’re any less wet,” she replies. “Prof. Woo, may I address a few questions to Prof. Harrison?”

He waves her along.

“Prof. Harrison, can you tell us why Robin was attending the conference at all? It’s very unusual for new graduate students to do so in their first term, before they’ve even had time to contribute to research or write a paper.”

Harrison’s face screws up, and I wonder if mine does, too. I don’t know where she’s going with this. What happened before he attacked me seems irrelevant.

Harrison answers, though with some reticence, “She helped me to proof and refine my keynote address. As a courtesy, I invited her so that I could thank her in public. Robin’s told me that she hopes to be invited into Prof. Lamertus’s group, and I knew Barry would be there. I thought it might help her get an in with him if she was there and got an acknowledgement.”

“Well, that is very considerate of you, but is there any particular reason you chose Robin for this task and not a more experienced and highly qualified student?”

He shuffles his hands. “It was a work exchange, of sorts.”

“An exchange?” She leans forward, balancing her chin on her balled up fist. “And what did Robin get in
exchange
for working for you?”

I’m still perplexed by where she’s going, but Harrison’s smug smirk leads me to believe he thinks she’s just shooting blanks into the dark.

He turns to the chair. “You recall that I invited Robin to your annual dinner?”

Prof. Woo nods.

“I walked her down to her car when she left. I wanted to be sure she got there safe. I know there’s not much crime in our neighborhood, but you remember that incident about four years ago? The stories ran in the paper about a woman being attacked just down the street from us?”

“I do,” Prof. Woo says, looking somber. “Terrible story.”