Complications (10 page)

He laid down over her, tilting her chin up to easily access her lips. The kiss he gave her was sensually thorough and achingly slow. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he lightly touched his tongue against hers.
Beautiful
, she thought.

“That was amazing, darling,” he whispered against her lips.

She smiled, suddenly shy in the aftermath, even as their bodies were pressed intimately together. “It was,” she agreed, her heart warming.

Then, an old thought resurfaced as she stared up into his hazel eyes. It made her stomach flutter even as it made her uneasy.

She could fall for this man. Easily.

And if that happened, he could just as easily break her heart.

Chapter Ten

Olivia was in heaven.

She was wrapped up in the comfiest sheets she had ever been in. And they smelled just like the man she was currently curled up with.

Alex was flat on his back, his warm chest acting as her makeshift pillow. The strong thumping of his heart relaxed her as he stroked her bare shoulder softly with his fingertips.

They were talking about horror movies. Their conversation had somehow turned from where they attended college—they discovered they both went to college in Los Angeles—to where they had traveled—Alex had been all over the US and parts of Europe for business whereas she had studied abroad in the UK—to talking about horror movies when she’d mentioned her spooky dorm abroad.

“They’re awful,” Olivia murmured.

“Oh, come on. They’re not all bad,” he insisted.

“I don’t mind all the blood and gore, but I hate things popping out at you. And you just know when those moments are coming too because the music stops. That’s the cue for me to cover my eyes.”

“You sound just like Beth. When we were teenagers, I tried to make her watch one of the Jason movies with me. She screamed her head off and had nightmares for weeks,” he shook his head, smiling.

Olivia smiled at his fond expression, remembering his bubbly cousin, “Did you guys grow up together? You seem close.”

He nodded, his eyes coming to hers. “We
are
close. She’s my fiancée, remember?” he teased as she slapped his chest playfully, blushing as she recalled that embarrassing moment a week ago at her shop. God, had it only been a week ago when she first saw him? It seemed like much longer. “Beth has three sisters, but I was always closest to her since we’re the same age.”

“
Three
sisters?” Olivia asked, dumbfounded. She was an only child and, even though she had wished for siblings growing up, she couldn’t imagine four girls living under the same roof.

He nodded, gravely. “It was hell. I felt bad for my uncle most of the time, but I was on the receiving end of their wrath too many times to count.” He laughed suddenly and said, “One time they were making face masks out of avocados. Girl stuff, I guess. I thought it was dip, so I dug right in with chips. But when they came back into the kitchen and saw almost all of it gone…God, I’d never been so scared in my life. Since then, I’ve never really been able to eat guacamole.”

Olivia laughed and quoted, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

Alex snorted, “Forget women. It’s teenage girls you have to watch out for.”

She smiled, “Were you over at their house a lot?”

Alex shifted a bit but didn’t reply right away. “Yeah, I was,” he admitted eventually, his tone bordering on cautious.

He was turning cold on her again, just like earlier in the kitchen. And Olivia didn’t know why. She frowned, wanting answers but was hesitant to ask. It wasn’t as though she was his girlfriend or anything. They were lovers at best. She didn’t want to pry if he felt uncomfortable, but dammit, she was curious about him!

She propped herself up on her elbow, looking down on him. He shifted his eyes to hers, his expression suddenly guarded. Apparently, he could hide his emotions whenever he wanted, something she wished she could do. “I won’t ask you about things that make you uncomfortable, but I don’t even know what I should be avoiding,” she said in a quiet voice.

His gaze slowly slipped away from hers and focused on the ceiling of his bedroom. His hand left her shoulder to run over his mouth and jaw, probably feeling the scratchiness of his five o’clock shadow. She waited for him to respond but he never did. It was starting to piss her off. And it hurt more than she wanted to admit that he could push her away so easily.

Suddenly feeling superfluous, Olivia asked, trying to keep her voice from shaking, “Do you want me to leave?”

His eyes flashed to hers and he said in a gruff voice, “No, Olivia. Of course, I don’t.”

She didn’t reply. But she still wanted an explanation as they continued to look at one another. Alex brought a hand to trail softly through her hair, his eyes soft yet guarded.

He finally spoke. His voice was gruff, as though the words were being torn from his throat, but Olivia didn’t interrupt. “I don’t like talking about my family. Specifically my father. When you asked if I was at my cousins’ a lot, I knew you would probably wonder why. And I try to avoid any subject that could lead to him.” She didn’t deny his probably accurate assumption and he continued. “My relationship with him has been ruined for a long time and right now we’re not on speaking terms. I only see him at family events. And I like to forget that most of the time.”

“Pushing it away won’t make it better,” she murmured quietly. She couldn’t imagine not talking to her dad.

“It’s complicated, Olivia. When I was growing up, my father could be unnecessarily cruel and I don’t think I’ve forgiven him for a lot of things.”

Olivia’s heart jumped at one particular thought and she felt dread creeping up on her. “Did he abuse you?”

Alex shook his head hesitantly. “Not physically, no.” He ran a hand over his closed eyes, his other hand still stroking her hair absentmindedly. “In the kitchen earlier, you asked me if I had a pet when I was younger.”

She nodded as trepidation sprang up. “Alex, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” she whispered, her hand coming up to brush a lock of black hair off his forehead.

He shook his head, “I don’t mean to shut down on you and I’m sorry that I did. I’ve just avoided talking about him for so long it seems natural.” His eyes found hers again. “I had a dog once. But only for a little while. I had begged my mom for one for years and finally on my 14th birthday, she bought me this Golden Retriever puppy.” A light smile touched his lips. “It was a clumsy little thing with huge paws, but I loved him right away. I named him August, because that’s when I got him. My birthday month.”

She smiled softly, hearing the love in his voice for his pet. But her stomach tightened into knots as he continued.

“My father wasn’t happy about it, but I think my mom convinced him to let me keep it. But about a week later, we were playing in the backyard and I forgot to close the screen door. The sprinklers were on and it was muddy. We were both completely wet from running through them. And before I knew it, August bolted into the house because he heard my mom coming home from shopping. When I finally got inside, there was mud everywhere. Dirty water on the walls, mud smeared all over the rugs and floor. It was a complete mess.

“My dad came out of his office because he heard my mom scolding August and he went ballistic. Completely ballistic. I’d never seen him so angry in my life and that’s saying something.” Alex shook his head, swallowing hard. “I remember crying because I was scared at what he might do. I promised I would have it all cleaned up by dinner. He yelled at me to stop crying and that he never wanted to see any son of his crying again. He said it made me look weak. But I couldn’t stop.” He took a breath as Olivia’s heart ached for him, her eyes stinging hotly. “He took August away as punishment. He drove him to the pound that afternoon and I never saw him again. It took me three hours to clean up everything. My father watched me, making sure I got every
fucking
speck of dirt off. And at dinner, he pretended like nothing had ever happened. We never talked about it again and I never asked for another pet.”

Oh, Alex.

Olivia swallowed, her tears finally spilling over. “And your mom?”

Alex shook his head, not looking at her. “My mom never did anything. I think she was scared of him too. The mood he was in…there was no reasoning with him. I guess I couldn’t really blame her.”

“But you were still so young,” she whispered, her heart breaking for the little boy he had been. It suddenly made sense why he had gone cold on her in the kitchen. She felt angry at herself for even asking him about childhood pets, but realistically, she knew there wasn’t any way she could have known. And no wonder he hadn’t adopted that freaking cat…or even named it.

He looked at her then and his brows furrowed when he noticed her crying, a pained expression suddenly crossing his features. “Ah, darling. Shit. I didn’t want you to cry.” He sat up quickly to cradle her face in his hands, the sheet pooling at his waist. He wiped away her tears with his fingers and leaned down quickly to kiss her lips. “Don’t cry,” he mumbled against her lips.

“I’m sorry,” she said miserably, embarrassed that she was crying in front of him. “I’m sorry,” she repeated. But she wasn’t sure what she was apologizing for. For crying or for his obvious pain or for her anger at his father, a man she had never even met. She decided it was for all three.

They were quiet as they kissed and Alex eventually calmed her down.

But she didn’t even know what to say to him. She didn’t know what to say to make him feel better. Another
I’m sorry
didn’t seem appropriate, wouldn’t even begin to soothe his pain.

Alex shifted, propping up some pillows against his headboard. He stretched out against them, but he dragged her up to lie against his chest, cradling her in his arms. They lounged in comfortable silence, but Alex was the first to break it a few moments later. “I want to know more about your ex.”

She felt like she had just been slammed into a wall. Her breath whooshed out of her lungs as nerves overtook her. “What?” she asked against his chest, dumbly. “Why?”

He looked down at her, “Because you barely told me anything when we went out to dinner.”

She sighed. She felt like she owed him an explanation. After all, he had opened up to her about his father. And even though Miles wasn’t her favorite subject in the world, she would talk about him if Alex wanted to hear.

“His name was Miles. I told you my cousin introduced us after college. I had just moved back up here and I hadn’t kept in touch with a lot of high school friends, so I was a little lonely. My cousin invited me out to eat with a group of his friends and that’s where I met him. He was charming and funny and easy to talk to. It was easy to like him. And pretty soon, he was meeting my parents and my old college friends. Suddenly, he was this big part of my life.”

“Go on,” Alex urged her when she paused for too long. His voice was rough and it made her shiver. He must have mistaken it as her being cold because he wrapped his arms more tightly around her.

Her gaze dropped to the rise and fall of his chest, surprised by how safe she felt in his arms. She could feel his heartbeat under her cheek and she closed her eyes. “We were together about six years. The first few were great. But looking back now, there were things that he said in passing I should have picked up on. My friend Christie, the one I had dinner with last night, started hinting that he might not be great for me. But I didn’t listen, even if I should’ve.”

“What would he say?” he asked, his voice tight.

She shrugged, even as both embarrassment and anger burned her cheeks, “He would criticize my weight a lot. Especially later on. I could never be thin enough for him. I don’t think my body is made like that.” She swallowed thickly, not daring to look at Alex. “In the last few years, he became more controlling. He would order for me at restaurants and tell me when I could eat. If I argued with him, he wouldn’t talk to me for days. But then he would break down and apologize. It was like this endless, unhealthy cycle between us. But the most disgusting thing about it was that I let him do that to me.”

Olivia paused again, breathing hard through her nose. Alex didn’t say anything. He let her take her time and didn’t rush her.

“The last two years it was almost like we weren’t in a relationship. I wouldn’t see or talk to him for days. We had never moved in together and I was so busy with my shop that it didn’t really bother me. That probably sounds bad,” she said, nibbling on her lip.

“No, not at all,” he replied softly.

“I think I knew then that it was over. But I was so confused over everything that I never ended things with him permanently. In my mind, I somehow justified that this was the way long relationships were supposed to be. But the last few months, I started picking fights with him. If we went out to eat, I would order whatever the hell I wanted just to make him angry. If I disagreed with something he said, I would argue with him until he was shouting. I would confront him about things I let slide in the past.

“He had been cheating on me for over a year. That’s what he told me a few weeks ago.” She felt Alex’s arms tighten around her. “I never suspected a thing. I guess that makes me the biggest fool on the planet,” she said bitterly.

“Don’t demean yourself for his mistakes,” Alex told her roughly.

“It’s hard not to. I should’ve ended things with him a long time ago,” she pointed out softly.

“Probably,” he agreed. “But the important thing now is that you’re done with him.” He leaned down to kiss her lightly. “And that you’re here right now. With me. Maybe that makes me selfish,” he commented, his voice lowering.

She felt a flicker of desire and knew that he was right. Alex was an amazing man. He let her cry all over him and listened to her bitch about her ex. And he had opened up to her about his father even though it was obviously a touchy subject for him.

“Hey,” he murmured gently. She glanced up at his hazel eyes and felt her chest warm. “Just for the record, I think you’re beautiful just the way you are.”