Complete Works of Robert Louis Stevenson (Illustrated) (251 page)

Here, upon some pretext, Miss Grant left me one day alone with Miss Ramsay.  I mind I thought that lady inattentive and like one preoccupied.  I was besides very uncomfortable, for the window, contrary to custom, was left open and the day was cold.  All at once the voice of Miss Grant sounded in my ears as from a distance.

“Here, Shaws!” she cried, “keek out of the window and see what I have broughten you.”

I think it was the prettiest sight that ever I beheld.  The well of the close was all in clear shadow where a man could see distinctly, the walls very black and dingy; and there from the barred loophole I saw two faces smiling across at me - Miss Grant’s and Catriona’s.

“There!” says Miss Grant, “I wanted her to see you in your braws like the lass of Limekilns.  I wanted her to see what I could make of you, when I buckled to the job in earnest!”

It came in my mind that she had been more than common particular that day upon my dress; and I think that some of the same care had been bestowed upon Catriona.  For so merry and sensible a lady, Miss Grant was certainly wonderful taken up with duds.

“Catriona!” was all I could get out.

As for her, she said nothing in the world, but only waved her hand and smiled to me, and was suddenly carried away again from before the loophole.

That vision was no sooner lost than I ran to the house door, where I found I was locked in; thence back to Miss Ramsay, crying for the key, but might as well have cried upon the castle rock.  She had passed her word, she said, and I must be a good lad.  It was impossible to burst the door, even if it had been mannerly; it was impossible I should leap from the window, being seven storeys above ground.  All I could do was to crane over the close and watch for their reappearance from the stair.  It was little to see, being no more than the tops of their two heads each on a ridiculous bobbin of skirts, like to a pair of pincushions.  Nor did Catriona so much as look up for a farewell; being prevented (as I heard afterwards) by Miss Grant, who told her folk were never seen to less advantage than from above downward.

On the way home, as soon as I was set free, I upbraided Miss Grant with her cruelty.

“I am sorry you was disappointed,” says she demurely.  “For my part I was very pleased.  You looked better than I dreaded; you looked - if it will not make you vain - a mighty pretty young man when you appeared in the window.  You are to remember that she could not see your feet,” says she, with the manner of one reassuring me.

“O!” cried I, “leave my feet be - they are no bigger than my neighbours’.”

“They are even smaller than some,” said she, “but I speak in parables like a Hebrew prophet.”

“I marvel little they were sometimes stoned!” says I.  “But, you miserable girl, how could you do it?  Why should you care to tantalise me with a moment?”

“Love is like folk,” says she; “it needs some kind of vivers.”

“Oh, Barbara, let me see her properly!” I pleaded.  “You can - you see her when you please; let me have half an hour.”

“Who is it that is managing this love affair!  You!  Or me?” she asked, and as I continued to press her with my instances, fell back upon a deadly expedient: that of imitating the tones of my voice when I called on Catriona by name; with which, indeed, she held me in subjection for some days to follow.

There was never the least word heard of the memorial, or none by me.  Prestongrange and his grace the Lord President may have heard of it (for what I know) on the deafest sides of their heads; they kept it to themselves, at least - the public was none the wiser; and in course of time, on November 8th, and in the midst of a prodigious storm of wind and rain, poor James of the Glens was duly hanged at Lettermore by Ballachulish.

So there was the final upshot of my politics!  Innocent men have perished before James, and are like to keep on perishing (in spite of all our wisdom) till the end of time.  And till the end of time young folk (who are not yet used with the duplicity of life and men) will struggle as I did, and make heroical resolves, and take long risks; and the course of events will push them upon the one side and go on like a marching army.  James was hanged; and here was I dwelling in the house of Prestongrange, and grateful to him for his fatherly attention.  He was hanged; and behold! when I met Mr. Simon in the causeway, I was fain to pull off my beaver to him like a good little boy before his dominie.  He had been hanged by fraud and violence, and the world wagged along, and there was not a pennyweight of difference; and the villains of that horrid plot were decent, kind, respectable fathers of families, who went to kirk and took the sacrament!

But I had had my view of that detestable business they call politics - I had seen it from behind, when it is all bones and blackness; and I was cured for life of any temptations to take part in it again.  A plain, quiet, private path was that which I was ambitious to walk in, when I might keep my head out of the way of dangers and my conscience out of the road of temptation.  For, upon a retrospect, it appeared I had not done so grandly, after all; but with the greatest possible amount of big speech and preparation, had accomplished nothing.

The 25th of the same month a ship was advertised to sail from Leith; and I was suddenly recommended to make up my mails for Leyden.  To Prestongrange I could, of course, say nothing; for I had already been a long while sorning on his house and table.  But with his daughter I was more open, bewailing my fate that I should be sent out of the country, and assuring her, unless she should bring me to farewell with Catriona, I would refuse at the last hour.

“Have I not given you my advice?” she asked.

“I know you have,” said I, “and I know how much I am beholden to you already, and that I am bidden to obey your orders.  But you must confess you are something too merry a lass at times to lippen  to entirely.”

“I will tell you, then,” said she.  “Be you on board by nine o’clock forenoon; the ship does not sail before one; keep your boat alongside; and if you are not pleased with my farewells when I shall send them, you can come ashore again and seek Katrine for yourself.”

Since I could make no more of her, I was fain to be content with this.

The day came round at last when she and I were to separate.  We had been extremely intimate and familiar; I was much in her debt; and what way we were to part was a thing that put me from my sleep, like the vails I was to give to the domestic servants.  I knew she considered me too backward, and rather desired to rise in her opinion on that head.  Besides which, after so much affection shown and (I believe) felt upon both sides, it would have looked cold-like to be anyways stiff.  Accordingly, I got my courage up and my words ready, and the last chance we were like to be alone, asked pretty boldly to be allowed to salute her in farewell.

“You forget yourself strangely, Mr. Balfour,” said she.  “I cannot call to mind that I have given you any right to presume on our acquaintancy.”

I stood before her like a stopped clock, and knew not what to think, far less to say, when of a sudden she cast her arms about my neck and kissed me with the best will in the world.

“You inimitable bairn?” she cried.  “Did you think that I would let us part like strangers?  Because I can never keep my gravity at you five minutes on end, you must not dream I do not love you very well: I am all love and laughter, every time I cast an eye on you!  And now I will give you an advice to conclude your education, which you will have need of before it’s very long.

Never ask womenfolk.  They’re bound to answer ‘No’; God never made the lass that could resist the temptation.  It’s supposed by divines to be the curse of Eve: because she did not say it when the devil offered her the apple, her daughters can say nothing else.”

“Since I am so soon to lose my bonny professor,” I began.

“This is gallant, indeed,” says she curtseying.

“I would put the one question,” I went on.  “May I ask a lass to marry to me?”

“You think you could not marry her without!” she asked.  “Or else get her to offer?”

“You see you cannot be serious,” said I.

“I shall be very serious in one thing, David,” said she: “I shall always be your friend.”

As I got to my horse the next morning, the four ladies were all at that same window whence we had once looked down on Catriona, and all cried farewell and waved their pocket napkins as I rode away.  One out of the four I knew was truly sorry; and at the thought of that, and how I had come to the door three months ago for the first time, sorrow and gratitude made a confusion in my mind.

PART II - FATHER AND DAUGHTER

CHAPTER XXI - THE VOYAGE INTO HOLLAND

The ship lay at a single anchor, well outside the pier of Leith, so that all we passengers must come to it by the means of skiffs.  This was very little troublesome, for the reason that the day was a flat calm, very frosty and cloudy, and with a low shifting fog upon the water.  The body of the vessel was thus quite hid as I drew near, but the tall spars of her stood high and bright in a sunshine like the flickering of a fire.  She proved to be a very roomy, commodious merchant, but somewhat blunt in the bows, and loaden extraordinary deep with salt, salted salmon, and fine white linen stockings for the Dutch.  Upon my coming on board, the captain welcomed me - one Sang (out of Lesmahago, I believe), a very hearty, friendly tarpaulin of a man, but at the moment in rather of a bustle.  There had no other of the passengers yet appeared, so that I was left to walk about upon the deck, viewing the prospect and wondering a good deal what these farewells should be which I was promised.

All Edinburgh and the Pentland Hills glinted above me in a kind of smuisty brightness, now and again overcome with blots of cloud; of Leith there was no more than the tops of chimneys visible, and on the face of the water, where the haar  lay, nothing at all.  Out of this I was presently aware of a sound of oars pulling, and a little after (as if out of the smoke of a fire) a boat issued.  There sat a grave man in the stern sheets, well muffled from the cold, and by his side a tall, pretty, tender figure of a maid that brought my heart to a stand.  I had scarce the time to catch my breath in, and be ready to meet her, as she stepped upon the deck, smiling, and making my best bow, which was now vastly finer than some months before, when first I made it to her ladyship.  No doubt we were both a good deal changed: she seemed to have shot up like a young, comely tree.  She had now a kind of pretty backwardness that became her well as of one that regarded herself more highly and was fairly woman; and for another thing, the hand of the same magician had been at work upon the pair of us, and Miss Grant had made us both braw, if she could make but the one bonny.

The same cry, in words not very different, came from both of us, that the other was come in compliment to say farewell, and then we perceived in a flash we were to ship together.

“O, why will not Baby have been telling me!” she cried; and then remembered a letter she had been given, on the condition of not opening it till she was well on board.  Within was an enclosure for myself, and ran thus:

“DEAR DAVIE, - What do you think of my farewell? and what do you say to your fellow passenger?  Did you kiss, or did you ask?  I was about to have signed here, but that would leave the purport of my question doubtful, and in my own case I ken the answer.  So fill up here with good advice.  Do not be too blate,  and for God’s sake do not try to be too forward; nothing acts you worse.  I am

“Your affectionate friend and governess,

“BARBARA GRANT.”

I wrote a word of answer and compliment on a leaf out of my pocketbook, put it in with another scratch from Catriona, sealed the whole with my new signet of the Balfour arms, and despatched it by the hand of Prestongrange’s servant that still waited in my boat.

Then we had time to look upon each other more at leisure, which we had not done for a piece of a minute before (upon a common impulse) we shook hands again.

“Catriona?” said I.  It seemed that was the first and last word of my eloquence.

“You will be glad to see me again?” says she.

“And I think that is an idle word,” said I.  “We are too deep friends to make speech upon such trifles.”

“Is she not the girl of all the world?” she cried again.  “I was never knowing such a girl so honest and so beautiful.”

“And yet she cared no more for Alpin than what she did for a kale-stock,” said I.

“Ah, she will say so indeed!” cries Catriona.  “Yet it was for the name and the gentle kind blood that she took me up and was so good to me.”

“Well, I will tell you why it was,” said I.  “There are all sorts of people’s faces in this world.  There is Barbara’s face, that everyone must look at and admire, and think her a fine, brave, merry girl.  And then there is your face, which is quite different - I never knew how different till to-day.  You cannot see yourself, and that is why you do not understand; but it was for the love of your face that she took you up and was so good to you.  And everybody in the world would do the same.”

“Everybody?” says she.

“Every living soul?” said I.

“Ah, then, that will be why the soldiers at the castle took me up!” she cried,

“Barbara has been teaching you to catch me,” said I.

“She will have taught me more than that at all events.  She will have taught me a great deal about Mr. David - all the ill of him, and a little that was not so ill either, now and then,” she said, smiling.  “She will have told me all there was of Mr. David, only just that he would sail upon this very same ship.  And why it is you go?”

I told her.

“Ah, well,” said she, “we will be some days in company and then (I suppose) good-bye for altogether!  I go to meet my father at a place of the name of Helvoetsluys, and from there to France, to be exiles by the side of our chieftain.”

I could say no more than just “O!” the name of James More always drying up my very voice.

She was quick to perceive it, and to guess some portion of my thought.