Complete Works of Lewis Carroll (34 page)

"That wouldn't be at all the thing," the Red Queen said very decidedly: so Alice tried to submit to it with a good grace.

("And they
did
push so!"
she said afterwards, when she was telling her sister the history of the feast.
"You would have thought they wanted to squeeze me flat!")

In fact it was rather difficult for her to keep in her place while she made her speech: the two Queens pushed her so, one on each side, that they nearly lifted her up into the air: "I rise to return thanks—" Alice began: and she really
did
rise as she spoke, several inches; but she got hold of the edge of the table, and managed to pull herself down again.

"Take care of yourself!"
screamed the White Queen, seizing Alice's hair with both her hands.
"Something's going to happen!"

And then (as Alice afterwards described it) all sorts of things happened in a moment.
The candles grew up to the ceiling, looking something like a bed of bushes with fireworks at the top.
As to the bottles, they each took a pair of plates, which they hastily fitted on as wings, and so, with forks for legs, went fluttering about: "and very like birds they look," Alice thought to herself, as well as she could in the dreadful confusion that was beginning.
At this moment she heard a hoarse laugh at her side, and turned to see what was the matter with the White Queen; but, instead of the Queen, there was the leg of mutton sitting in the chair.
"Here I am!"
cried a voice from the soup-tureen, and Alice turned again, just in time to see the Queen's broad good-natured face grinning at her for a moment over the edge of the tureen, before she disappeared into the soup.

There was not a moment to be lost.
Already several of the guests were lying down in the dishes, and the soup-ladle was walking up the table to Alice, and signing to her to get out of its way.

"I can't stand this any longer!"
she cried, as she seized the table-cloth with both hands: one good pull, and plates, dishes, guests, and candles came crashing down together in a heap on the floor.

"And as for
you,"
she went on, turning fiercely upon the Red Queen, whom she considered as the cause of all the mischief—but the Queen was no longer at her side—she had suddenly dwindled down to the size of a little doll, and was now on the table, merrily running round and round after her own shawl, which was trailing behind her.

At any other time, Alice would have felt surprised at this, but she was far too much excited to be surprised at anything
now.
"As for
you,
" she repeated, catching hold of the little creature in the very act of jumping over a bottle which had just lighted upon the table, "I'll shake you into a kitten, that I will!"

CHAPTER 10

"
Shaking"

She took her off the table as she spoke, and shook her backwards and forwards with all her might.

The Red Queen made no resistance whatever; only her face grew very small, and her eyes got large and green: and still, as Alice went on shaking her, she kept on growing shorter—and fatter—and softer—and rounder—and—-

CHAPTER 11

"
Waking"

—and it really
was
a kitten, after all.

CHAPTER 12

"
Which Dreamed It?"

 YOUR Red Majesty shouldn't purr so loud," Alice said, rubbing her eyes, and addressing the kitten respectfully, yet with some severity.
"You woke me out of—oh!
such a nice dream!
And you've been along with me, Kitty—all through the Looking-glass world.
Did you know it, dear?"

It is a very inconvenient habit of kittens (Alice had once made the remark) that, whatever you say to them, they
always
purr.
"If they would only purr for "yes,' and mew for "no,' or any rule of that sort," she had said, "so that one could keep up a conversation!
But how
can
you talk with a person if they always say the same thing?"

On this occasion the kitten only purred: and it was impossible to guess whether it meant "yes' or 'no.'

So Alice hunted among the chessmen on the table till she had found the Red Queen: then she went down on her knees on the hearthrug, and put the Kitten and the Queen to look at each other.
"Now, Kitty!"
she cried, clapping her hands triumphantly.
"You've got to confess that that was what you turned into!"

("But it wouldn't look at it," she said, when she was explaining the thing afterwards to her sister : "it turned away its head, and pretended not to see it: but it looked a
little
ashamed of itself, so I think it
must
have been the Red Queen.")

"Sit up a little more stiffly, dear!"
Alice cried with a merry laugh.
"And curtsey while you're thinking what to—what to purr.
It saves time, remember!"
And she caught it up in her arms, and gave it one little kiss "just in honour of its having been a Red Queen, you know!"

"Snowdrop, my pet!"
she went on, looking over her shoulder at the White Kitten, which was still patiently undergoing its toilet, "when
will
Dinah have finished with your White Majesty, I wonder?
That must be the reason you were so untidy in my dream.—Dinah!
Do you know that you're -
211
-

scrubbing a White Queen?
Really, it's most disrespectful you, and I'm quite surprised at you!"

"And what did
Dinah
turn to, I wonder?"
she prattled on, as she settled comfortably down, with one elbow on the rug, and her chin in her hand, to watch the kittens.
"Tell me, Dinah, did you turn to Humpty Dumpty?
I
think
you did—however,

you'd better not mention it to your friends just yet, for I"m not sure.

"By the way, Kitty, if only you'd been really with me in my dream, there was one thing you
would
have enjoyed—I had such a quantity of poetry said to me, all about fishes!
To-morrow morning you shall have a real treat.
All the time you're eating your breakfast, I'll repeat "The Walrus and the Carpenter" to you; and then you can make believe it's oysters, my dear!

"Now, Kitty, let's consider who it was that dreamed it all.
This is a serious question, my dear, and you should
not
go on licking your paw like that—as if Dinah hadn't washed you this morning!

You see, Kitty, it
must
have been either me or the Red King.
He was part of my dream, of course—but then I was part of his dream, too!
Was
it the Red King, Kitty?
You were his wife, my dear, so you ought to know—oh, Kitty,
do
help to settle it!
I'm sure your paw can wait!"
But the provoking kitten only began on the other paw, and pretended it hadn't heard the question.

Which do
you
think it was?

THE END

SYLVIE AND BRUNO

This novel was first published in 1889, followed by a sequel volume in 1893, and both volumes were illustrated by Harry Furniss.  Over twenty years before that, Carroll had written two short stories titled
Fairy Sylvie
and
Bruno's Revenge
which appeared in
Aunt Judy's Magazine
in 1867.
Later, Carroll decided to use them as the core for a longer story.  Much of the rest of the novel he compiled from notes of ideas and dialogue which he had collected over the years.

The novel has two main plots, with one set in the real world at the time the novel was published, whilst the other concerns a fantasy Fairyland.
While the latter plot contains many nonsense elements and poems, similar to Carroll’s Alice books, the other plot is poignant for its portrayal of Victorian Britain, offering important social views of religion, philosophy and morality at the time of publication.

The novel is now chiefly remembered for the poem
The Mad Gardener's Song
, which has been widely reprinted elsewhere.