Complete Works of Bram Stoker (277 page)

‘That may be, now,’ she went on icily.  ‘But it is too late.  I do not love you; and I have never loved you!  Of course, had you accepted my offer of marriage you should never have known that.  No matter how great had been my shame and humiliation when I had come to a sense of what I had done, I should have honourably kept my part of the tacit compact entered into when I made that terrible mistake.  I cannot tell you how rejoiced and thankful I am that you took my mistake in such a way.  Of course, I do not give you any credit for it; you thought only of yourself, and did that which you liked best!’

‘That is a nice sort of thing to tell a man!’ he interrupted with cynical frankness.

‘Oh, I do not want to hurt you unnecessarily; but I wish there to be no possible misconception in the matter.  Now that I have discovered my error I am not likely to fall into it again; and that you may not have any error at all, I tell you now again, that I have not loved you, do not love you, and never will and never can love you.’  Here an idea struck Leonard and he blurted out:

‘But do you not think that something is due to me?’

‘How do you mean?’  Her brows were puckered with real wonder this time.

‘For false hopes raised in my mind.  If I did not love you before, the very act of proposing to me has made me love you; and now I love you so well that I cannot live without you!’  In his genuine agitation he was starting up, when the sight of her hand laid upon the gong arrested him.  She laughed as she said:

‘I thought that the privilege of changing one’s mind was a female prerogative!  Besides, I have done already something to make reparation to you for the wrong of . . . of  —  I may put it fairly, as the suggestion is your own  —  of not having treated you as a woman!’

‘Damn!’

‘As you observe so gracefully, it is annoying to have one’s own silly words come back at one, boomerang fashion.  I made up my mind to do something for you; to pay off your debts.’  This so exasperated him that he said out brutally:

‘No thanks to you for that!  As I had to put up with the patronage and the lecturings, and the eyeglass of that infernal old woman, I don’t intend . . . ‘

Stephen stood up, her hand upon the gong:

‘Mr. Everard, if you do not remember that you are in my drawing-room, and speaking of my dear and respected aunt, I shall not detain you longer!’

He sat down at once, saying surlily:

‘I beg your pardon.  I forgot.  You make me so wild that  —  that . . . ‘  He chewed the ends of his moustache angrily.  She resumed her seat, taking her hand from the gong.  Without further pause she continued:

‘Quite right!  It has been Miss Rowly who paid your debts.  At first I had promised myself the pleasure; but from something in your speech and manner she thought it better that such an act should not be done by a woman in my position to a man in yours.  It might, if made public, have created quite a wrong impression in the minds of many of our friends.’

There was something like a snort from Leonard.  She ignored it:

‘So she paid the money herself out of her own fortune.  And, indeed, I must say that you do not seem to have treated her with much gratitude.’

‘What did I say or do that put you off doing the thing yourself?’

‘I shall answer it frankly: It was because you manifested, several times, in a manner there was no mistaking, both by words and deeds, an intention of levying blackmail on me by using your knowledge of my ridiculous, unmaidenly act.  No one can despise, or deplore, or condemn that act more than I do; so that rather than yield a single point to you, I am, if necessary, ready to face the odium which the public knowledge of it might produce.  What I had intended to do for you in the way of compensation for false hopes raised to you by that act has now been done.  That it was done by my aunt on my behalf, and not by me, matters to you no more than it did to your creditors, who, when they received the money, made no complaint of injury to their feelings on that account.

‘Now, when you think the whole matter over in quietness, you will, knowing that I am ready at any time to face if necessary the unpleasant publicity, be able to estimate what damage you would do to yourself by any exposé.  It seems to me that you would come out of it pretty badly all round.  That, however, is not my affair; it entirely rests with yourself.  I think I know how women would regard it.  I dare say you best know how men would look at it; and at you!’

Leonard knew already how the only man who knew of it had taken it, and the knowledge did not reassure him!

‘You jade!  You infernal, devilish, cruel, smooth-tongued jade!’  He stood as bespoke.  She stood too, and stood watching him with her hand on the gong.  After a pause of a couple of seconds she said gravely:

‘One other thing I should wish to say, and I mean it.  Understand me clearly, that I mean it!  You must not come again into my grounds without my special permission.  I shall not allow my liberty to be taken away, or restricted, by you.  If there be need at any time to come to the house, come in ceremonious fashion, by the avenues which are used by others.  You can always speak to me in public, or socially, in the most friendly manner; as I shall hope to be able to speak to you.  But you must never transgress the ordinary rules of decorum.  If you do, I shall have to take, for my own protection, another course.  I know you now!  I am willing to blot out the past; but it must be the whole past that is wiped out!’

She stood facing him; and as he looked at her clear-cut aquiline face, her steady eyes, her resolute mouth, her carriage, masterly in its self-possessed poise, he saw that there was no further hope for him.  There was no love and no fear.

‘You devil!’ he hissed.

She struck the gong; her aunt entered the room.

‘Oh, is that you, Auntie?  Mr. Everard has finished his business with me!’  Then to the servant, who had entered after Miss Rowly:

‘Mr. Everard would like his carriage.  By the way,’ she added, turning to him in a friendly way as an afterthought, ‘will you not stay, Mr. Everard, and take lunch with us?  My aunt has been rather moping lately; I am sure your presence would cheer her up.’

‘Yes, do stay, Mr. Everard!’ added Miss Rowly placidly.  ‘It would make a pleasant hour for us all.’

Leonard, with a great effort, said with conventional politeness:

‘Thanks, awfully!  But I promised my father to be home for lunch!’ and he withdrew to the door which the servant held open.

He went out filled with anger and despair, and, sad for him, with a fierce, overmastering desire  —  love he called it  —  for the clever, proud, imperious beauty who had so outmatched and crushed him.

That beautiful red head, which he had at first so despised, was henceforth to blaze in his dreams.

CHAPTER XXIII  —  THE MAN

On the
Scoriac
Harold An Wolf, now John Robinson, kept aloof from every one.  He did not make any acquaintances, did not try to.  Some of those at table with him, being ladies and gentlemen, now and again made a polite remark; to which he answered with equal politeness.  Being what he was he could not willingly offend any one; and there was nothing in his manner to repel any kindly overture to acquaintance.  But this was the full length his acquaintanceship went; so he gradually felt himself practically alone.  This was just what he wished; he sat all day silent and alone, or else walked up and down the great deck that ran from stem to stern, still always alone.  As there were no second-class or steerage passengers on the
Scoriac
, there were no deck restraints, and so there was ample room for individual solitude.  The travellers, however, were a sociable lot, and a general feeling of friendliness was abroad.  The first four days of the journey were ideally fine, and life was a joy.  The great ship, with bilge keels, was as steady as a rock.

Among the other passengers was an American family consisting of Andrew Stonehouse, the great ironmaster and contractor, with his wife and little daughter.

Stonehouse was a remarkable man in his way, a typical product of the Anglo-Saxon under American conditions.  He had started in young manhood with nothing but a good education, due in chief to his own industry and his having taken advantage to the full of such opportunities as life had afforded to him.  By unremitting work he had at thirty achieved a great fortune, which had, however; been up to then entirely invested and involved in his businesses.  With, however, the colossal plant at his disposal, and by aid of the fine character he had won for honesty and good work, he was able within the next ten years to pile up a fortune vast even in a nation where multi-millionaires are scattered freely.  Then he had married, wisely and happily.  But no child had come to crown the happiness of the pair who so loved each other till a good many years had come and gone.  Then, when the hope of issue had almost passed away, a little daughter came.  Naturally the child was idolised by her parents, and thereafter every step taken by either was with an eye to her good.  When the rigour of winter and the heat of summer told on the child in a way which the more hardy parents had never felt, she was whirled away to some place with more promising conditions of health and happiness.  When the doctors hinted that an ocean voyage and a winter in Italy would be good, those too were duly undertaken.  And now, the child being in perfect health, the family was returning before the weather should get too hot to spend the summer at their châlet amongst the great pines on the slopes of Mount Ranier.  Like the others on board, Mr. and Mrs. Stonehouse had proffered travellers’ civilities to the sad, lonely young man.  As to the others, he had shown thanks for their gracious courtesy; but friendship, as in other cases, did not advance.  The Stonehouses were not in any way chagrined; their lives were too happy and too full for them to take needless offence.  They respected the young man’s manifest desire for privacy; and there, so far as they were concerned, the matter rested.

But this did not suit the child.  Pearl was a sweet little thing, a real blue-eyed, golden-haired little fairy, full of loving-kindness.  All the mother-instinct in her, and even at six a woman-child can be a mother  —  theoretically, went out towards the huge, lonely, sad, silent young man.  She insisted on friendship with him; insisted shamelessly, with the natural inclination of innocence which rises high above shame.  Even the half-hearted protests of the mother, who loved to see the child happy, did not deter her; after the second occasion of Pearl’s seeking him, as she persisted, Harold could but remonstrate with the mother in turn; the ease of the gentle lady and the happiness of her child were more or less at stake.  When Mrs. Stonehouse would say:

‘There, darling!  You must be careful not to annoy the gentleman,’ Pearl would turn a rosy all-commanding face to her and answer:

‘But, mother, I want him to play with me.  You must play with me!’  Then, as the mother would look at him, he would say quickly, and with genuine heartiness too:

‘Oh please, madam, do let her play with me!  Come, Pearl, shall you ride a cock-horse or go to market the way the gentleman rides?’  Then the child would spring on his knee with a cry of delight, and their games began.

The presence of the child and her loving ways were unutterably sweet to Harold; but his pleasure was always followed by a pain that rent him as he thought of that other little one, now so far away, and of those times that seemed so long since gone.

But the child never relaxed in her efforts to please; and in the long hours of the sea voyage the friendship between her and the man grew, and grew.  He was the biggest and strongest and therefore most lovely thing on board the ship, and that sufficed her.  As for him, the child manifestly loved and trusted him, and that was all-in-all to his weary, desolate heart.

The fifth day out the weather began to change; the waves grew more and more mountainous as the day wore on and the ship advanced west.  Not even the great bulk and weight of the ship, which ordinarily drove through the seas without pitch or roll, were proof against waves so gigantic.  Then the wind grew fiercer and fiercer, coming in roaring squalls from the south-west.  Most of those on board were alarmed, for the great waves were dreadful to see, and the sound of the wind was a trumpet-call to fear.

The sick stayed in their cabins; the rest found an interest if not a pleasure on deck.  Among the latter were the Stonehouses, who were old travellers.  Even Pearl had already had more sea-voyages than fall to most people in their lives.  As for Harold, the storm seemed to come quite naturally to him and he paced the deck like a ship-master.

It was fortunate for the passengers that most of them had at this period of the voyage got their sea legs; otherwise walking on the slippery deck, that seemed to heave as the rolling of the vessel threw its slopes up or down, would have been impossible.  Pearl was, like most children, pretty sure-footed; holding fast to Harold’s hand she managed to move about ceaselessly.  She absolutely refused to go with any one else.  When her mother said that she had better sit still she answered:

‘But, mother, I am quite safe with The Man!’  ‘The Man’ was the name she had given Harold, and by which she always now spoke of him.  They had had a good many turns together, and Harold had, with the captain’s permission, taken her up on the bridge and showed her how to look out over the ‘dodger’ without the wind hurting her eyes.  Then came the welcome beef-tea hour, and all who had come on deck were cheered and warmed with the hot soup.  Pearl went below, and Harold, in the shelter of the charthouse, together with a good many others, looked out over the wild sea.

Harold, despite the wild turmoil of winds and seas around him, which usually lifted his spirits, was sad, feeling lonely and wretched; he was suffering from the recoil of his little friend’s charming presence.  Pearl came on deck again looking for him.  He did not see her, and the child, seeing an opening for a new game, avoided both her father and mother, who also stood in the shelter of the charthouse, and ran round behind it on the weather side, calling a loud ‘Boo!’ to attract Harold’s attention as she ran.