Complementary Colors (29 page)

His cheeks reddened.

“Ah, so you have thought about it.”

Roy nodded.

“Is that what you want? My dick in your ass?” I coaxed the ring of muscle to accept my fingertip. “Push, Roy.” His opening relaxed enough for me to invade him all the way to my knuckle. “That’s it.” I kissed his thigh, the base of his cock, then returned my mouth to the head.

Would he let me fuck him if I asked? Of course, he would. As tight as Roy held my strings, I held his the same way. But it wouldn’t have been fair for me to take that from him. He needed someone who would appreciate what he had to offer, savor every moment, and most of all someone who could give back in equal amounts.

That someone was not me.

The tip of Roy’s cock brushed the back of my throat at the same time I pumped my finger in and out. He clawed at the blankets, riding up on his elbows, giving me more of his ass. I changed the angle of my thrusts, and he cried out.

I grazed my teeth over the swollen flesh around his slit. “You want another?”

He rolled a look down at me. The war between pleasure and surrender played across his face.

Roy clenched again but, at the same time, lifted his hip, giving me better access. I nudged his entrance with my other finger, but the saliva had already dried and I didn’t want to hurt him.

It was enough. He knew what it could feel like. It would feed his curiosity, and one day he’d let a man bury himself balls deep. Would he call to him? Would he make those deep guttural sounds? Would Roy bury his face in the man’s neck and exhale his desperation against his skin?

He would, and I already hated the man Roy hadn’t even met.

I removed my finger, and Roy settled against the comforter. He ran his hand through my hair, and I started to suck him again.

He stopped me. “I want you to.”

A sharp twinge pulled at my heart. “You’re not ready.”

“Yes, I am.”

I moved high enough to kiss him on his chest. “You need to wait.” Would he argue? Or would he listen to what I wasn’t saying?

Roy closed his eyes, and the tension in his body shifted. Again, I knew he understood.

“The drawer,” I said.

He glanced over.

“Inside.”

He opened it. There was a rattle of medicine bottles. He found the tube of lubricant and handed it to me.

I kissed him, my mouth to his, not brutal, not soft, but firm enough to make it difficult to breathe. Roy begged me, with a swipe of his tongue and a hand on the back of my head, to come home with him. He offered me hope, freedom, and a lifetime of love.

Even if I thought I deserved that, Julia would hunt me down and Roy would not be safe.

I slicked up my fingers with lubricant and sat back. The gel was cold on my opening. Roy petted me down my body, following the path of my hand to where I plunged my fingers in and out of my hole. He pushed my hand away and replaced my fingers with his.

“God, Paris.” He thumbed one of my nipples during a pass down my ribs to my cock. There, he rolled the foreskin over the head, tugging the folds, then pushing back to massage the glans.

I rocked against his hand, pushing him deeper. Roy picked up the tube of lubricant lying next to his hip. He removed his fingers and started to squeeze out more gel.

“It’s enough.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t.” And if he did, I’d welcome it. I moved over him.

“Paris…”

“Shhh—” I tossed the tube out of reach. “Now where was I?”

Roy pulled me down until my face was close to his. He brushed a line of kisses along my jaw. There was heat in his eyes, but it was tempered by something more powerful than lust.

I feared it.

I wanted it.

Roy guided his cock to my entrance. I rolled back, and he raised up. The pressure turned into an ache, and the ache into a burn. I exhaled a gasp, and he froze.

“More.” My thoughts frazzled into an explosion of color. Roy tried to hold me, but I broke free. He dropped his hips in an attempt to stop me, but I followed him down.

The sharp twinge of being stretched crackled up my spine. My stomach tightened, and the air was shoved from my lungs. I grabbed Roy’s thighs and forced my body to take the rest of him. His cock rubbed across my prostate.

“Oh, God.” Sound and light shattered. “More.” The shards flayed me. “Please, Roy.” He raised himself up, pushing me to my knees, giving me the last inch.

I didn’t give myself time to adjust before I raised up on my knees only to drop my weight again. The second thrust hit me harder than the initial penetration, and my lower back cramped, feeding my desperation.

Roy met the rhythm I set, and our bodies slapped together with a hollow sound. I braced my hand on his chest and worked my hips, clenching my ass hard enough to make him jerk.

The flush spreading over Roy’s shoulders darkened as it crawled up his neck and reached his cheeks. The crimson made his features harder.

“You are so beautiful, Paris.” Roy alternated between pinching my nipples and massaging them with his thumb. The tingling threads it created made my cock jump. “You are so perfect.”

I closed my eyes.

“Don’t.”

I rode him harder.

“Look at me.” He cupped my face, and I lost my will to disobey. “That’s it.” Roy traced my lips with a finger. “Let me see how good you feel.”

The reverence in his gaze only fueled my self-hate. I gripped my cock.

“No.” Roy seized my wrist. “I’m nowhere near done with you yet.” I changed hands, and he rolled me over, pinning me to the mattress, each wrist in his hands, his face close to mine. “I told you, I’m not done with you yet.”

And his eyes said he never would be.

Roy plucked away my retort with a kiss and, at the same time, rocked forward. The momentum lifted my thighs, and the new angle struck me so deep my insides screamed in protest.

A ringing in my ears vibrated the colors flittering around me. “Oh God…” He backed out, and I gasped for breath.

Roy nuzzled my neck and nipped my ear. Why couldn’t he have been a nameless entity? Someone who would never care about me and I could never hurt? Why did he have to infect me with emotions I couldn’t begin to understand?

“Tell me what you’re thinking about?” He laid his forehead against mine. “I see it in your face, and it scares you.”

I swallowed against the tightness in my throat. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t know how.”

“Try.”

“I don’t have the words.”

“But you have colors.”

I did. And they cascaded around me, through Roy, and through me. “Reds, with white.” Roy pushed deep again, and I cried out. “Bronze, gold, violet. It makes the edges vibrate and the color sing.”

“Sounds beautiful.”

“It is.”

He gripped my hips, raising my legs and draping them over his arms.

“Oh Roy, Roy, Roy…”

“I’m right here.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and dug my fingers into his hair. Roy sank his cock into my ass.

“Greens and blues.” I tightened my hold. “Strips of orange. It’s divided by yellow.”

“Why yellow?” Roy let his weight come down on me. Fully sheathed inside me, he snapped his hips.

“Please—” I bit his ear. Again Roy withdrew to the tip, but there was no slow entry this time. He shoved his hips forward, knocking the headboard against the wall. The bedside lamp shimmied toward the edge of the table.

“Why yellow, Paris?”

“I don’t know.”

“There has to be a reason.” He ground his hips against my ass.

“It’s beautiful. It’s warm. It’s safe. It gives balance to the extremes.” Sweat dripped from Roy’s chin onto my lips. “Please, Roy…”

“Tell me what you need.” He pulled back in a measured pace, then returned with the same kind of focus. “Anything you want, Paris. Anything.”

Him. I wanted him, but it could never happen. “Harder.”

The muscles in his back flexed under my palms as Roy gave me what I asked, and the lamp fell onto the floor.

I clawed his back. “More, Roy. I need more.” The next thrust was short but powerful. “Yesss—”

Roy pumped his hips, and I hoped the headboard knocked holes in the fucking sheetrock.

A tremor ran through his body, and his breathing hitched. I tightened my arms around his shoulders until he was forced to curl against me. His sweat became my sweat, our breathing one. I could never get enough of him, and from this day forward, no man would ever be able to satisfy me again.

Roy dug his grip into my hips. “Close.”

“Yes.” I pulled his hair.

“Want to feel you come.”

“Almost.” The tingling spreading over my skin turned into an electric dance. “Almost. Almost.” I raked his ear with my teeth. “Need more, just a little…” He tilted his hips, and a rush of white noise shorted out my senses.

For a few seconds, there was nothing but a void. I existed without pain, guilt, and self-hate. I was free.

Then the colors bled back into my reality, and my soul returned to the prison it had been condemned to. Roy’s muscles hardened under my hands as he drove himself one final time. His cock thickened, rekindling the burn, and he buried a guttural scream into the pillow beside my head.

With every pulse of his cock, Roy rocked on his knees. Then he was still, and there was only the rapid pounding of his heart against my chest. It slowed, and his breathing settled.

Roy lowered my legs, and a sharp jolt told me just how unhappy my hips were.

He traced my jaw with his lips, stopping at my mouth. “Leave with me.”

“Soon.”

The crow’s feet around his eyes deepened. “Three days…”

“Yeah.”

“You’ll meet me at the café?”

It took everything to keep my voice from breaking. “I promise.”

I let Roy go. Watched him dress. Then lay there as he walked out of my life forever.

After the banquet and the showing, I walked with Dan Brunswick to his limo waiting by the curb. He held open the door. I got in, and he followed.

The limo pulled into the street.

Dan slid his ring off his finger and slipped it into his pocket. Then he opened the minibar and poured a drink.

It always amazed me how many men could rationalize their infidelity just by removing a bit of metal from their hand. As if taking it off meant it never happened. Or perhaps it was putting it back on that erased the deed.

“Here.” He handed me a tumbler half filled with a rich amber bourbon. Champagne was for socialites. Whiskey was for pimps, johns, and whores. The liquor burned my throat on the way down.

Dan watched me over the rim of his glass between sips.

Rain speckled the passenger window, warping reality into swollen points. We passed the café where I’d promised to meet Roy.

How long would he wait before he gave up? I could only hope he’d leave when they closed. If only I’d been strong enough to keep my word.

“You’re quiet. Is something wrong?” Dan swirled his glass, and the ice cubes clinked against the sides. The limo took a right, the café disappeared, and the street lamps abandoned me to the dark.

“Everything’s fine.” I gave him my fake smile, and unlike Roy, Dan did not see through it.

He plucked my empty glass from my hand. “Refill?”

“I’m good.”

“You want something stronger?” He produced a small bag of white powder. “It’s the best.”

“What is it?” White powder could be so many things.

“Heroin.”

“I don’t do needles.”

He took out a palm-sized mirror. “I know. Julia told me.” Dan handed me a glass straw and cut a line. I had to practically sit on top of him to reach it.

My eyes teared up as soon as the H hit my nasal passages. I pinched my nostril shut to keep it from being flushed out. Dan handed me a tissue. Wiping my nose was more difficult than I expected. The H had to be top of the line if it could hit me that fast.

“What about you?” I said.

“Not tonight.”

I had a feeling it was more like ‘not ever.’

“Now.” Dan grazed my lip, my neck, then his fumbling hands found their way to my crotch.

While Dan was busy groping me, I cut another line. He gave me some room to lean forward. I snorted the H, and the lights inside the limo shattered. I clung to him so I wouldn’t float away.

“Here.” He repositioned my legs. “Let’s get more comfortable, shall we?” When Dan was done shifting around my body parts, I was in his lap facing the table, the bar, and what was left of the powder. He worked my pants out of the way, and the fabric of his expensive suit caressed my ass.

“You’re going to ride me.”

I nodded.

He tilted me forward enough to get his belt and zipper undone. “You’re going to ride me and I’m going to fuck you until you can’t walk.”

I poured out more H and inhaled what I could from the pile on the mirror. My limbs detached, and the world blinked in and out.

Dan pressed his cock to my hole. Did he even slick me up? Stretch me?

“Condom.” I planted my hand on the door to keep myself from falling forward.

“No. I don’t think so.”

“Julia…said…”

“Yeah, and I showed her I was clean, and I know you are. I bought that painting at top dollar, and I’m going to enjoy the hospitality gift.”

He pulled me back and thrust his hips. A bolt of pain struck me from the moment of penetration, burrowing deeper until he filled me. I yelled, and he laughed.

“God, you’re tight.” He shifted his weight. Tears blurred my vision. I scrambled for something to hold onto. Streaks of white smeared all over my skin and clothes.

I realized in that moment between Dan pushing deeper and positioning his long legs for leverage, this would never end. The lie I’d told to the boy’s mother had condemned me to a life of hell. I would forever paint to make Julia her fortune and I would ride cock to make her customers happy. And my suffering would not end until I drew my last breath.

I snorted the powder left on the mirror. The explosive rush roared through my body, evaporating everything anchoring me to the world. I struggled against the crushing weight twisting my limbs into balloon animals. Streaks of color distorted the space around me, filled my mouth, my throat, my lungs, and the pain of being fucked dry was lost to the static numbness.