Compassion (17 page)

Like a murmured plea my name slips off his tongue, “Jaye...”

Taking it as encouragement to continue, I wrap my hand around the base. I work the two in tandem, each suck eager to taste the reward he hinted at earlier.

“Jaye, I uh...I can't...this won't...this isn't gonna last long,” Archer notifies on a breathless whisper.

Pleased, I glance up, loving the sight of him struggling to keep himself still. With sheer determination to push him closer to the edge, I continue to bob, working in a rhythm that is intoxicating for me as much as it for him. Every pull with my mouth is awarded with louder groans teetering between tamed and savaged.

Letting the less controlled sounds be my guide, I suck harder, faster, more aggressively, until he finally breaks. “Fuck!”

The word is the only warning before a warm rush rolls around in my mouth. An odd combination of pride and excitement pumps through my veins as I swallow the creamy accolade that I've only received a handful of times in my life.

Wash away that look of disbelief. The first guy I was with was more shy than me and barely wanted to have sex at all. Turns out he was gay. Chris on the other hand wasn't a fan of foreplay.

Carefully I drag my tongue off, licking my lips once it's completely free. I drink in the perfect picture of him spread out in front of me with his mouth half-cocked and lost in what appears to be absolute bliss.

After a few long deep breaths Archer quietly states, “That's what heaven's like.”

Wrapped up in the compliment, I slide myself down beside him, relieved when he envelopes me in his arms.

“I don't deserve you babe,” he whispers as he tightens his grasp. “I've never done anything to deserve you.”

“I think you do,” I counter in a similar volume. “And I think I deserve you too.”

He hums his objection, but keeps the words to himself. His fingers roam up and down my back coaxing my eyes to close.

We're a good match. And no matter how unconventional and unusual it may be how we met and how we've come together, it doesn't matter to me. The only thing that matters is how he makes me feel when I'm with him. How he makes me feel about myself. The only thing that matters is what makes us happy and we both deserve that. We both deserve to be happy.

Archer

Tossing the kitchen hand towel over my shoulder, I pick up the bowl of pasta and head towards the fireplace where I had planned to eat dinner.

Last predicted cold front and it's a harsh one. Dropped thirty degrees this afternoon. Can you believe that? Fucking thirty degrees in just a few hours? Hate the weather. It's the fucking spring according to the calendar. This shit should've passed by now.

I sit down in front of the crackling fire making sure to position myself close enough to benefit from the heat.

Jaye's heater kicks ass, but I couldn't resist the urge. Do you know how long it's been since I've been in front of one of these that wasn't made in a goddamn trashcan? Besides, Dr. Jenny's been preaching the importance of rewriting negative associations with positive ones. I hate therapy, but it seems to be helping.

Just as I twirl the angel hair pasta around my fork, the front door opens revealing to me the only person I've ever met in my entire life who makes me feel like simply existing is just enough.

I know it's not. I know I need a fucking job. I know I need to hold my own. I know I need to contribute more than just fucking ripping out shit from this house, moving boxes, mowing the lawn and trying to get that herb garden to come to life.  Give me a fucking break. I'm fucking trying. I really am. Is it my fault I got another 'the position has been filled' email today? It's not like I can get him fired and take his job.

“There's my girl,” I greet her sweetly as she sheds her coat by the front door.

“Oh my God it's freezing out there!” She shrieks. “Did you hear it might snow? It's spring for crying out loud! Where are the spring flowers and chickens or whatever...Where the hell did the snow come from? ”

“Frosty?” The joke causes her to cock a smirk. “How was book club tonight?”

“Despite Marshall hitting on me,” she sighs, seconds before sitting down on the ground beside me. “It went
really
well. I was surprised so many people showed up when I moved it to Friday for this month. Turns out this book sparked more debate than I thought it would.”

I place the bowl down in front of me and scoot her body closer to mine. “This was the one about the blind child, right?”

Her mouth twitches like it had planned to say something yet instead she says, “Wait. Did you read it?”

My thumb strokes her side. “Yeah. I've been keeping up.”

“Have you?” After I nod she asks, “Why?”

“Because book club is important to you and you're important to me. I want you to be able to talk about all your work topics with me.” A glimmer appears in her eyes. “I mean...if you want to talk about those things with me.”

Jaye leans over and plants a warm kiss on my lips, sliding her hand down my cheek in the process. When she pulls away she sighs, “You're too amazing.”

I smirk. “While a man can never hear that enough...it's not that big of a deal.”

“It is to me.” She smiles brightly before tossing her head at the fire. “A fire, huh?”

“Figured I'd try it out,” I answer and grab my bowl. “Looked like it hadn't been used in a while.”

“Not sure if it's ever been used.” Her eyebrows furrow. “Where'd you get wood?”

“I've always got wood.” After my playful wink I give her a real answer. “It's one of those magic log things.” I give myself a minute to muster up the courage to add, “Dr. Jenny has been stressing the importance of reprogramming not only my instinct to the light but the immediate negative connection I have to so many other things. Like build fires.”

“Because...”

“I associate them with living downtown on the streets.”

“Oh!” Jaye takes a minute and stares proudly at me. “I'm glad you're trying more of the techniques she suggested.”

“She's alright.” I shrug. When she gives me a skeptical look I add, “Definitely better than the high pitched leader at support group.”

“Archer,” she scolds.

“Poodles cringe at that woman's voice.”

After a short giggle she asks, “Do you want me to look for another one?”

“Nah...I'll just remember my dog whistle to help the pups out.”

She giggles and elbows me in the side.

Support group is something new we started. We go together to meetings where we're given advice on how to live with the condition, work through it or with it. It reminds me I'm not alone and of the simple fact there are men and women with much more severe cases.

A small breath comes out of her as she turns, her eyes immediately falling to the bowl in my other hand. “That...smells...heavenly. What'd you make?”

“Just chicken alfredo in the crock pot,” I chuckle lightly. “You hungry? I can get you a bowl.”

“Not really,” her voice softly says, but her eyes stay plastered on my dinner.

I let a small smile creep on my face, let go of her, slightly turn, and lift the bite on my fork towards her lips. “Go ahead. Have a bite.” She nibbles on her bottom lip.  “It's alright, Jaye. I don't mind sharing with you.”

She slightly opens her mouth and let's the forkful slip between her perfect lips. As soon as the bite disappears a pleased hum comes out of her grabbing my cock's attention.

Doesn't usually take even this much.

“So good,” Jaye sighs, body melting against mine.

“Want another?” Sensing the hesitation I add, “You can have anything you want from me. You just have to tell me.”

Her tongue wets her lips while her eyes fall to my mouth. My dick knocks against my jeans, begging for freedom. Slowly Jaye's hand slides across my thigh inching towards my crotch. Putting my bowl over to the side of me, I simply watch her unhurried, controlled movements, uncertain where this is leading.

“What's on your mind, babe?”

“I've been thinking,” she starts, her hand massaging my member through my pants.

A short groan seeps out.

Over the past month we've been rubbing and sucking on each other like teens with an early curfew. It's been fucking incredible. The minute her mouth is wrapped around my cock it feels like I'm gonna come. Pathetic. I know. At first I thought it was just because it had been awhile yet it's like that every time. She's got a magic tongue. What do you mean do I? Let's just say, I haven't gotten to show her my fingers aren't the only ones that know what they're doing. She gets to pick the pace, remember? I meant it.

“About what?”

When her hand roams across the outside of my pants again, I let out a long deep breath. “About us...about...”

Needing her to take control, for her sake, I encourage as I slide my hand back around her waist, “Say it. Tell me what you want.”

“You,” she immediately says back in a strong tone. “I want you.”

My dick knocks against her hand. In a low feverish whisper I state, “You have me.”

Her hand runs up my chest and back down before she starts tugging at the end of my shirt. “Make love to me.”

The declaration tips my bottom lip down.

“Right now.”

Impressed and pleased by her directness, I grip her hip tighter. “Are you-” 

Jaye leans over and aggressively pushes her tongue against mine, erasing any chance of me being able to further object. She crawls into my lap where she wraps her arms around my neck. Pulling me in for a deeper kiss, she grinds herself on top of my covered cock, previewing what's to come the second I get her naked.

Right. Slow down. I need to go slow.

My mouth falls away from hers. “Babe, how about we go upstairs? You deserve more than the carpet.”

Jaye giggles and runs her fingers through the back of my hair. “Maybe...”

“Maybe? The carpet isn't romantic.”

“Or maybe making love with you by the fire is better.” She wiggles her eyebrows.  “More romantic you might say.”

With a smile I nod at her point. Pushing the hair behind her ear I say, “It's been a
long
time, Jaye. I'm not sure I can give you the slow, gentle bullshit I know you need.”

She leans her body forward to press her mouth against my ear. “The only thing I need, Archer, is for you to fulfill that promise of your mission to do everything possible for me to make this sound...” Jaye leaks out a long intense moan. “From this moment until mid-morning tomorrow.” Her body leans back so her playful brown eyes can dominate mine. “And I only say mid-morning because I know I'll need to be refueled.”

Never thought my own words would be used in my own favor like that.

“You have no idea what you're getting yourself into.”

“Maybe not,” Jaye giggles. “But I do know I'm ready to be with you.”

Leaning forward I brush my lips against hers, in such a way she can't stop from wiggling in my lap, turning what should've been teasing for her into torture for me. Roughly I grip the back of her neck as I battle her tongue for control of the situation. While it puts up a small fight at first, it caves, subjecting itself to my lead.

Pretty sure she's done this more recently than I have...

That reminder knocks our kiss apart. “Protection.”

In a half daze she answers, “There's a blanket on the couch.”

I shake my head. “Not that kind.”

It takes a moment before it sinks in. “Oh.”

“I um....I didn't grab any last time we went to the store. I didn't know- I didn't think- I didn't assume-”

“Archer,” she cuts me off, her hands running down my chest. “It's okay. You're clean and I'm...on the pill.”

“But-”

“And I've never done it without one before.”

Baffled I dart my eyebrows down. “How is that possible? You were engaged.”

“Chris' biggest fear was having kids before he was ready, so even though I was on the pill, he wrapped it too.”

I get not wanting to have kids before you’re ready, but I always thought that was supposed to be the biggest benefit of a sexual relationship with just one other person. No rubbers. What? Am I wrong?

“I've uh...I've never done it without one before either.”

Seeing a small twinkle come into her eyes I let my lips curve upward. “Seriously? Not even with your last girlfriend?”

“Hell no,” I answer, hating any memory of her. “Never.”

Jaye's lips lower to a breath away from mine once more. “Good.”

On a heated groan, I grab the back of her neck again and seal our mouths back together. In a hurricane of moans, whimpers, pulls, and pushes, the two of us desperately undress the other one. As soon as we're both naked and on top of the blanket Jaye managed to grab at some point, I find myself rushing to consume every exposed opportunity.

After coating her neck with long, drawn out kisses, I drag my mouth down to her dark nipples and suck lightly. The moment she whimpers for more, I use my teeth to tug, testing the limits, determined to commit her boundaries to memory. I continue bouncing my efforts between her glorious full breasts until the pleading for more becomes unbearable.

Swiftly, I'm between her parted thighs, arms hooked around her legs to keep her in place. I give her drenched pussy a long, leisurely lick. She releases a familiar pre climax shudder spurring me to question, “Already?”