Companions (23 page)

"Oh, puh-lease…"

She flopped on her back and stared at the ceiling and tried to figure out why she was awake at this ungodly hour. Whatever it was she was supposed to be getting up for, she was sure she hadn't penciled middle of the night mourning for good old gone Steve onto her calendar. Was she due at one of Aunt
Page 107

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv
erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Catie's magic rituals? No, that ritual cleansing thing for Karen wasn't until later in the week, on Wednesday, and she was pretty sure this was Sunday. And it couldn't be police business, because she'd taken a leave of absence from work. Her excuse had been that she needed the time to take part in her cousin's wedding, but the truth was, she simply did not have any energy, any spirit, any hope, any Istv —

"Steve." She would not let herself call him by the name he preferred, even in the dark of night, alone in the bed they'd shared for so short a — "You're wallowing again," she told herself. "Which is disgusting."

All right, they'd had sex here a few nights back. Big deal. Melodrama did not become her. The place was a bedroom, not a shrine. It wasn't as if she hadn't changed the sheets or anything.

She remembered studying the dullest of all Dickens's books back in junior high…. What was it called?

The one they kept making movies of, which she couldn't imagine anyone wanting to see unless they got maybe Russell Crowe to play Pip, and even then, only if he spent the entire movie naked and they put in lots of explosions and John Woo directed.
Great Expectations!
Yeah, that one. The one with the weird little old lady who locked herself away when her fiance didn't show for the wedding and pined for her lost love for the rest of the book. What had been the old biddy's name? Haversham? Faversham? Something with a sham in it, which was probably old Dickens's way of saying how
utterly stupid
it was to make your life come to a standstill just because some
male
walked out of your life.

"And why didn't I have insights like that back during the lit test in eighth grade?"

'Cause maybe you needed to be alone and lonely in the dead center of the night before your thoughts started circling around in endless, futile searches for anything to keep your mind off what really bothered you. And you always circled back to the center, anyway. Which could lead off on a quest for the romantic meaning of the
Inferno
if she'd ever gotten around to reading it. It had something about circles of hell, she knew that much.

Selena tried to channel her rambling thoughts into some coherent direction as she dragged out of bed.

She didn't bother turning on any lights. A part of her thought her night vision was keener than it once had been, and another part of her thought she ought to know where everything in her apartment was by now, even in the dark. She always preferred the prosaic explanation to the mystical one; people with her background usually did, and she wasn't talking about being a graduate of the police academy. Witches were practical people, by and large. Even the ones who danced at the full moon naked once a month tended to do it indoors with the curtains closed. Speaking of naked, she distinctly remembered wearing a nightshirt to bed, but she wasn't wearing it now. Well, there had been lots of dreams, erotic dreams, weird dreams… one of them with Karen dancing with bikers, or something, at her wedding. Selena supposed she must have pulled the gown off in her sleep. Only…

She ran her hands over her body, and was left with the distinct, disturbing impression of someone else's touch on her skin. She sniffed. Was she imagining the faint scent of lilac and gardenia? She glanced out the bedroom window. Was it darker out there than night should be? Did the shadows move? This wasn't the first time she'd had a sense of something
lurking
outside.

"Steve?"

No answer, of course. "Nor should there be," she said out loud. She really wasn't awake yet, that was her problem. She'd been having nightmares ever since Steve left, but then, after all that had happened, nightmares really were a logical way of her subconscious dealing with the whole nasty mess. "Why am I out of bed?" Selena asked, and suddenly remembered. "Oh, yeah. West Coast time."

Page 108

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv
erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

She found her abandoned nightshirt on the floor and pulled it back on before she went to the desk. The nasty mess had consequences she'd put off dealing with. She remembered now that she'd decided to finally go on. Tonight would be the night. Once she got to the computer, she hesitated, just as she had hesitated last night, the night before, and the night before that.
How do you run a revolution,
she wondered,
when you don't know how to tell the other revolutionaries about the first casualty?

"Coward," she muttered, and turned on the computer.

Even after she had the computer on, she stared at the screen for a long time and thought of Steve before she went on-line. After she went on-line, she surfed search engines for a while looking for the name of the stupid character in the stupid Dickens book and tried not to think of Steve. That didn't take long. Nursing a headache, Selena yawned and finally made her way through the various security levels to the companions' chat room. Fyrstartr was there, along with DesertDog and Moscowknight.

Look who's here, DesertDog typed upon her entrance.

Been awhile, Layla, greeted Moscowknight.

You just missed Ghost, Fyrstartr told her.

She wanted to tell them, to explain it in all its gruesome detail. Selena wanted to foment rebellion, but she didn't know how to start. Even more appalling, it was so very hard not to be sapped of the will to do anything her own particular vampire wouldn't approve of. Pain stabbed through her head when she set her fingers to the keyboard.

I don't remember how long I've been off-line, Selena wrote. A lot has happened. A lot I need to tell you.

Can I ask some questions first?

She had meant to jump right in and give a proper summary. She was very good at putting together evidence into a clear, concise case report. But the last several days had taken so much out of her Selena almost instinctively turned to the only support group she had for help. She needed to be strong, she would be strong, but she couldn't do anything for anyone until she got her head on at least a little bit straighter.

What kind of questions? DesertDog asked.

Companion stuff, Selena answered. Things I can't ask my friend. My friend skipped town again, she admitted. Left me strung out. Some bad things happened, too. We shared too much blood. And other things.

What things? Moscowknight asked.

Don't know how to explain the weirdest part. It was very intimate, but not in a physical way. Have any of you ever lived something your friend has done? Been caught in a flash from the past? Been so involved in one of their memories that it felt like it happened to you?

Yes, Moscowknight answered.

Really? Fyrstartr asked. I've been caught in visions of things happening in the present, and I'm always seeing the future. Did that before I met my friend. Never seen into the past. Never experienced that kind of closeness.

Page 109

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv
erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

It is rare, Moscowknight wrote back.

Glad it's rare. Don't want to go through that again, Selena wrote. Lived it. Left me with a bad taste in my brain. Nightmares? Moscowknight asked. Paranoia? Feel like the walls are closing in?

You've been where I am? Selena asked. This is a normal reaction? How long before I get over it?

There's stuff I need to do.
So much I have to tell you,
she added to herself.

Your friend should be there for you when that sort of thing happens, Fyrstartr wrote.

He's not the supportive sort.

As you've said before, DesertDog reminded.

Unless you count being supportive as leaving me alone, Selena added. Which is fine with me, 'cause right now having him out of the way is good for what we have to do.

We? All three of the other companions typed.

I told you a lot has happened. I'm not sure how to explain it all to you. Sandswimmer, I need to tell you what happened to her. She came to me when she was in trouble. The bad guys found her.

Gender isn't discussed here, Fyrstartr reminded her again.

Let Layla talk, DesertDog wrote.

Sandswimmer was from Denver, Selena continued. She is the one who killed the vampire found in the Denver park. An Enforcer then killed her.

How do you know this? Fyrstartr asked.

I told you. I was there when it happened. I saw the Enforcer break her neck.

How could she have killed vampires? Why? Fyrstartr typed.

Why not? DesertDog asked.

She used a chainsaw, DesertDog. She said she got the idea from you.

Good for her.

Vampire society needs to be changed from within, Fyrstartr wrote. But we don't have to kill vampires to do it. See what you started DD!

The others had no idea how much effort it took Selena to write anything about what had happened. It needed to be told, companions needed to know what could happen to them. She was used to writing up concise, objective reports, to giving testimony, to making her cases. Right now, her hands shook as she tried to continue. She had to bring all her experience to bear, along with her considerable stubbornness, to fight the compulsion to keep whatever had happened concerning Istvan the Enforcer a closely guarded secret. Companions naturally tried to protect their vampire lovers. "Unnaturally," she muttered. Even
Page 110

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv
erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

among this core group of dissatisfied companions, she couldn't bring herself to repeat the details of what had made Sandy into a killer. Maybe talking to the others face-to-face, she could manage it, but not like this.

Her name was Cassandra Schwimmer, Selena told them. I'm sure her body has been disposed of. It will be seen to that her existence is forgotten. We're the only ones who can make her life and death count for anything. She did not kill her vampire lover, but he did nothing to help her when the others hurt her. Her crimes were committed in selfdefense. Even the Enforcer agreed with that. The Enforcer obeyed the letter of the Law when he executed the person who killed the two strigoi. As far as the Enforcer is concerned, the case is cleared. The truth is, the vampire that drove Sandy to kill is still out there, still in charge of a nest full of vicious followers. He can and will mistreat companions and slaves to the point of driving them mad. He can abuse and kill nest properly — that's us, guys — and as long as he stays within the Laws, he cannot be touched. Sandy fought back. I won't be a victim. Will you let yourselves be?

We know the Laws need to be changed, Fyrstartr wrote. There's nothing we can do while we are mortal.

Sandswimmer didn't think so, Moscowknight wrote. Patience isn't always a virtue when dealing with strigoi. I spent years being patient. It did me more harm than good.

Selena wondered about the details of Moscowknight's relationship problems but chose not to indulge her curiosity. She also didn't want to push them too far right now. They'd been obliquely airing their complaints for a long time, but getting them to step over the line into genuine rebellion wasn't going to be easy, especially after hearing that one of their number was already dead.

You all have your sources, she typed. Snoop around and find out about a vampire named Rosho. And watch your backs, she added. Then she logged off.

It was a little after three in the morning, and she was exhausted. She had nothing better to do than to go back to bed. Though she wished she hadn't brought up Rosho as soon as she closed her eyes. Sleep came quickly, but with it came the dreams.

The one that woke her up screaming started out with Karen complaining that Selena had no business bringing an Uzi to the wedding because it didn't match her bridesmaid's dress, and ended with a pack of wolves holding the crowd back while Rosho kissed the bride.

"Good goddess, what a rough night I had last night."

Selena looked Paloma over without any great sympathy. The pretty cousin behind the magic shop counter did indeed look like something the cat had dragged in. Since there were a couple of people in the store though it was nearly closing time, Selena kept her voice down when she asked, "You and the Tantric sex god have a little too much fun last night?"

"I wish. He's working nights in the ER this week. I tried calling you last night," Paloma added. "But your line was busy. Your phone's been busy all week."

"Been on-line a lot," Selena said, wincing under Paloma's accusing look.

Page 111

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv
erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

"You couldn't call your family to share your troubles?"

"Who said I was having troubles? I was surfing and shopping."

She wasn't about to explain that she'd been having long, earnest conversations trying to convince a skittish group of malcontents that meeting in Denver to do in a nest of evil vampires was a good idea for an outing. Some of the on-line companions refused to get involved. Of the ones who continued the conversation, Fyrstartr had argued the subjective nature of evil and the place of law in civilization.

Fyrstartr still leaned toward waiting until they all became vampires and then changing the Laws.

Moscowknight's reply was that changing the status quo could take hundreds of years. Hundreds of years will give us plenty of time to get sucked into the corrupt system, DesertDog said. How many people would die or be unwillingly brought into the strigoi community in that time, Selena asked them.

Moscowknight agreed, and said that sometimes you had to take matters into your own hands. That sometimes patience wasn't possible, even for immortal beings. There was a moral imperative, Selena told them, to wipe out monsters like Rosho. Carmlaskid asked who they thought they were to hand out the rough justice Selena wanted. Vigilantes, DesertDog answered, and didn't that get everyone in an uproar!