Communion: A True Story (7 page)

"Who are Jacques and Annie?"

" Jacques is a friend. Annie is his girlfriend."

"Now you're driving up to the country."

"Yeah.

"In a Jeep?"

"Yeah, it's a jeep Wagoneer. We're not having any problems. Annie's very small, so Jacques can fit. He's to the backseat and my son's happy because he likes Jacques a lot. I put on a tape but nobody liked it. So we talked. 'I'm gonna take you all out to dinner tonight. It's too late to stop for groceries. We're gonna go to the — you want to go to the Top of the Falls?' We had a lot of trouble deciding about that. I remember that, but then we went to the Top of the Falls."

"Go forward to that time now."

"Yeah."

"How are you feeling?"

"Oh, I'm enjoying myself thoroughly."

"How far is the restaurant from your home?"

"Oh, not long, about fifteen minutes. And we had dinner. We had dinner. Anne, our son, all have a — I have a great time. Jacques has a good time."

"So you're back in your house."

"Yeah."

"And you're going up to bed for the night?"

"Yeah. I'm wearing my house shoes. We were all gonna sit in the hot tub, but I'm too tired." (I visualized myself in bed, talking to my wife before going to sleep.) "God, I wish I hadn't spent all that money on that restaurant."

"What happens after you go to bed?"

"Well . . . [Long pause.] Oh . . . I woke up in the middle of the night .... I don't understand that. Uh, there's something went past the window?" (I referred to an octagonal window beneath the peak of the living room's cathedral ceiling, approximately thirty feet from the ground. It can be seen from our bed and it looks out into a woods.) "What the hell?

Something went past the window?
Something went past the window!
There's nothin' pa —

Oh, God 'Anne, the house is —' Something—"

"Something went past the window?"

"A big thing. [Beginning to cry.] No, it was a fight! [Calmer.] It didn't go past the window. It couldn't have gone past the window. I'm going back to sleep. I think the stove's OK. It was a light in the front yard. I keep thinkin' . . . . Who the hell is that?" (I was looking into the far corner of the bedroom, where I saw a dark shape about three feet tall standing in the shadows.) "Is that somebody? [Pause.] Is that somebody
there
? That can't be. Y'know I'm lookin' at this thing. I don't think, I don't think I like that. [Long pause. Eyes open.]"

"Relax. Close your eyes. Relax. You're going to stay relaxed, you're not going to open your eves Stay relaxed. Now tell us what you saw."

"I saw something that looked like it had a hood on it, standing over by the wall near the corner in our bedroom [breaks into panic] and I don't want it to be there! I don't want it to be there! Please! God, it-- What's it doing to me? Stop! Oh, oh, stop! What's it doing to me?

[Screams, prolonged, twenty seconds.]" (I cannot recall experiencing at any time in my life such panic as was evoked at this point in hypnosis My memory was of seeing the shape sweeping across the room and realizing with a feeling that galvanized my whole being that it was something totally unknown to me, glaring at me from right beside my- bed in the dead of the night. I then emerged s ontaneously from hypnosis. No written words, noting, can convey my feelings at that moment. All I can say is that I relived fear so raw, profound, and large that I would not have thought it possible that such an emotion could exist.)

"Oh, I feel like I'm gonna throw up in a minute I'm sorry. Oh, God. You know I didn't know there was anything in my house till just this second that night on the fourth of October.

[Weeps.] Ah, Jesus. Oh. God. Oh, boy. Scared the devil out of me. Sorry about that. I didn't expect this to be that bad, because if- I was prepared for being scared on the twenty-sixth. I did not know that anything had come into my house .... Oh, well.... It was there."

"Can you tell us?"

"You know it's dark. It's like a little man with a hood on or something. It looks almost like this —- y'know, there's no head . . . he's covered in something. And comes over to the bed and he starts like sucking something in-not into my head, y'understand, but like it was sticking into my mind. It would make a noise like a voice. It was terrible! [Demonstrates noise: a smacking, squeaking sound.] Like that. Going into me. It was just ('rod-awful horrible. He was standin' there Join' that."

"What was he doing?"

"You know, I can't. I'd have to be hypnotized again if I was ever gonna find out what that thing was saying. It was something that was being said inside me. Like it had a little thing it could touch to my head and it would make a voice. That's what I think it was."

"While he was talking to you, you weren't shouting then?"

"I was shouting. No, I was." (I was confused by this question, because, as will be seen in a moment, the figure was not in fact talking to me.) "I have absolutely no idea why the other people had — didn't remember because I'm damned sure I was shouting."

"Do you remember what your wife was doing?"

"I don't see her, because I'm turned toward the thing. Am I still hypnotized?"

"No."

"I swear to God. I just can't believe that this happened. But it did happen. I'll tell you the light comes down past the window, then I see a glow in the front yard. I thought I had gotten up, but I don't think now that I did. I thought I had seen the glow against the roof of the living room, but I don't think I did. I think I knew all along it was coming in the window, the glow, and I just didn't somehow want to say that. Because it was very obvious even then that it wasn't a fire. And he was-I just don't know what he was doing And I'll be frank with you all. I can't uh, I just can't figure it out. It was very scary. But he wasn't . . He was wearing a cover, like, he had a cover on. I'm shaky."

"Perfectly understandable."

"You know, I can't understand it. Yes, I guess of course I understand why an experience like that could be so scary. But, you want to keep on?"

"If you'd like to."

"I do. Definitely,"

"OK."

"I mean, I think I may have gotten right at the beginning through the worst part of it, frankly. Because whatever it was, when it first came to me that night it was ultimately terrifying."

Budd Hopkins responded. "It's often like this. Beginning moments are the worst. And after that, it gets easier."

"Was I a good hypnotic subject?"

"You were excellent."

"Good. It didn't seem to take very long. It felt very nice."

"It always feels nice."

"I was amazed at you because I thought you were explaining to me how it was going to be done, and the next thing I knew I was thinking I can't keep my eyes open."

"It's very simple, because once you bet the hang of it you can do it just like that. Like this.

Now look up at my finger." (In a few more moments, I was hypnotized.) "If you see something that is very frightening you will remain asleep. You will remain asleep, but you will tell us how you feel. The night of October fourth. You have woken up. You have woken up now. It's light There is something in the room with you "

"It's dark."

"'tell me what you see?"

"When he sees I see him he comes over to the bed. He looks
mean
. He's little. Goes up to about the top of the lamp. Looking down at me. Got eyes. Big eyes. Big slanted eyes. A bald head. He's looking down at me. He's got a ruler in his hand. Has a tip of silver. 'Pouches me. I see pictures. [Long pause.] I see pictures of the world just blowing up. I see pictures of the whole place just blowing up when he touches my head with this thing. [Weeps.] Jesus. It's a picture of like a whole big blast, and there's a dark red fire in the middle of it and there's white smoke all around it.

"Remembered voice: That's your home. That's your home. You know why this will happen.'

"I know why. [Weeps.] Why don't you like me? Wily do you hate me?"'

Dr. Klein: "Who said that?"

"I said that. [Pause.] 'Why'd you just put that thing on me, and it has the whole world blowing up? That's what I want to know. What is this
about
?! What is it about?!'" (Felt a sharp internal question, wordless.) "'I don't know what it's about! When is this gonna blow up? What's gonna blow up?"' (A flashing picture of my son.) "I know what's gonna blow up. I know what's gonna blow up. I know it is, too." (I was then touched again.) "Oh . . . green.

Shows me a park. I see my son. What's this got to do with him? Is this the devil? What the hell is this?

"Remembered voice: 'I won't hurt you.'

"'I know you won't. I know you won't hurt me. Stop! Ah!' The house is burning down!

The house is on fire. No it's not. That sounds stupid. Why did I say that?"

"Something woke you up. What happened?"

(I then emerged spontaneously from hypnosis.) "Explosion. I knew that. I was expecting it. I knew just when it would come. He took a little thing like a needle and struck it like a match in front of my face and it made a big bang,
pow!
And I thought the Mouse was on fire."

Budd Hopkins: "Was he there after this?"

"I don't know. I don't remember a thing. When I said the house was on fire I'm already out of the bed. Right away."

'This was the explosion that Anne and your son —'

"I think the explosion that they all heard. Yeah. He did it with a little needle. Stuck it in the air.

"Why did he show you those images?"

"I don't know why he showed me those images, to be frank with you. They are the most dreadful images."

"
Warday?
" (A reference to my novel of the same name.)

"I'll tell you the truth, what I feel. I think he showed me images of the future of our world, is what he showed me."

"What about the green?"

"It's a beautiful, green expanse. Was immediately relaxing when I saw that. And my boy.

My boy is in the park. My boy is there. And he's happy. That's what I saw. But —"

"Why are you so upset?"

"Because I think the park represents death, and he's there because he's dead. That's what I think.

"Why should the park represent death?"

"I don't know. That's just my impression."

"And the other scene of the world blowing up?"

"It's funny. It's not like of the world blowing up. I've gotta calm down here. I'm told it's the world blowing up. It's a red fire, a big, red, fierce fire with all these horns of smoke shooting out from it in every direction. And they said that's the world blowing up. I mean, Christ. I think we've got a monkey on our back."

Budd Hopkins: "No doubt about that. Other people have been shown this kind of an image, too."

"You know, I feel a tremendous relief right crow. This is good to be able to remember.

It's not an easy memory. But it's good to remember. Because I've been fighting to keep it out of my head."

"I can understand that."

"You know. I had a dream back in November. Of Cleveland blowing up. It was me remembering this image of the explosion but I thought it was a single city. so it wasn't so scary. Trying not to be scared of that image."

"You said he had a bald head?"

"He had a bald head and I would say he had slanted eves. It was real hard to see because he kept putting this thing on my head. Almost every time I would move he would put this thing on my head."

"And then you would see an image?"

"I would see these images, yeah. I thought at first the thing was talking but when you hypnotized me again I could see the -images. He had a little ruler thing chat had a silver tip on it, quite silver. because I could see glimmers on it and it's dark in the room. Did you try to light up the room for me or something when you said the room was light?"

"I didn't."

"Because the room was dark. It was very dark."

"I thought you said it was light."

"Oh. I also have the impression that he was wearing covering. Like he didn't — when I looked — the thing that's scary in a way, the thing that scared me at first was realizing he had been there for some time, standing over there in the corner, and y'know I have a feeling about a fierce whoosh of some kind ... . I'm not saying that I was being threatened so much as warned. That was my feeling. There was a very stern warning . . . or maybe it wasn't. Maybe if I had not been afraid of nuclear war and perfectly happy, when he touched that thing to my head other images would have come out. See what I mean?"

Budd Hopkins: "It certainly intersects with —"

"My own fears. Exactly."

"You spent a huge amount of time working on them in
Warday
. "

"Maybe it was a guy making a psychological test of me. Could it be that? I mean, maybe he was literally testing me, doing something like, as a hypnotist, you might do, using that little silver object in place of your finger. Could that be?"

"It could be, among other things."

"Including that this was some kind of hallucination, but I don't think so."

"Where did he touch you?"

"Right here." (I touched the center of my forehead, just above the bridge of my nose.)

"Very specifically right here. And every time he touched me there would be a burst of images."

Budd Hopkins: "You had no time to think between images?"

"No. This all happened quite quickly."

"They were visual?"

"Yeah, they were visions."

"Not words?"

"Absolutely not. They were pictures." (I became silent. I was aware of a great confusion of pictures in my mind.)

"Whit?"

"Yeah."

"You described two. Were there others?"

"Yeah, but the others are so jumbled up I can't tell what they were. You know. I think increasingly that they might be pictures out of my mind of my worst fears. Like nuclear war and my son being killed. And there's something else in there too that's all jumbled up. Maybe a fear so terrible that I can't even make heads or tails of it under hypnosis."

Budd Hopkins: "You said first that the figure seemed to be covered up, like with a hood."