Commitment (44 page)

“Have you lost your mind?” Christopher O’Brien screamed in disbelief. “Jesus, Claire, you have me in their back yard for God’s sake? What the hell are you thinking?”

Claire Brackett ignored her companion’s tirade. She found the congressman’s constant complaints aggravating. He was very much like a spoiled child and children were not something that ever interested Claire. She ran her hands over the mantle that held several frames, stopping occasionally to study the faces behind the glass. “Relax,” she told him.

“Relax? Claire….”

“It’s perfect,” Claire bragged. “No one will ever look for you here, believe me. No one knows about this place. It may just be my best kept secret.”

“You’ll forgive me….I never pictured you enjoying the comforts of small town New England,” O’Brien said sarcastically.

“And, how have you pictured me?” she inquired. O’Brien was not amused by her banter, and that made Claire all the more delighted. “You are such a baby,” she told him. “Since you are so curious…I went to school not far from here. This… this place was our escape,” Claire explained.

“You think staying in one of Daddy’s homes is a good idea?” he asked.

Claire scoffed at his assessment of the situation. “My father has no idea this exists. No, this was a rundown old farmhouse when I used to come here,” she told him. Claire stretched out in a large chair and sighed as she examined her surroundings. “She was amazing,” Claire whispered in admiration.

“You have lost your mind,” O’Brien observed. “What are we here to rekindle your lost childhood? I thought we had an agreement.”

Claire closed her eyes and relaxed her body. She had not been to this home in several years. Life had conspired to keep her apart from much of her past and that included this place. It was the first place Eleana had kissed her. It was the sanctuary that they had created to avoid the demands of expectant fathers and academic pressures. It was, Claire began to realize, the closest she had ever felt to ‘home’; whatever that was. Claire had traveled in luxury her entire life. Somehow; whenever she and Eleana found cause
or opportunity to escape to this place; Claire felt comforted. She chuckled at the memory of sleeping bags and camping gear, Pop-Tarts and warm soda. It had been heaven. The first time she made love to Eleana they were here, in this room. Eleana swore she would make this a real home one day. Claire thought it was the naïve fantasy of youth. She opened her eyes and shook her head at the simple yet elegant room. How could she have ever doubted Eleana’s commitment to that dream? Eleana never failed to deliver on a promise to Claire; never; until now.

“This is the safest place I know,” Claire said, her voice crackling with uncharacteristic emotion. “You can be certain of that. No one will look for you here. This is a small town, Christopher. Stay here for now. I will make certain you have everything you need before I leave.”

“You don’t seriously expect me to stay hold up in this place; do you?” he demanded.

Claire rose from the comfort of her seat and led him several rooms away to a large kitchen. She directed him to look out the window. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” she asked him.

“What is wrong with you?” O’Brien asked her. Claire was behaving so strangely that he was beginning to wonder if perhaps she had actually lost her mind.

“Just look out,” she repeated. “There is no place in the world I can take you right now that you are not at risk of someone recognizing you. It’s not forever, Christopher. Think of it as a new adventure,” she suggested.

“Looking at trees and snow?” he ridiculed the suggestion sarcastically.

“Life is all about perception. How many times do I have to tell you that? You must not have been a very stellar student,” she insulted him. “I need some time to shift your problems. I have a plan. I always have a plan,” she assured him. “Now, be a good boy and go pour us some wine. Merlot sounds perfect. I have no doubt you’ll find an ample selection in the dining room,” Claire told him.

O’Brien smirked slightly. He was not pleased with his current circumstance, but there were advantages. He was not in a county jail cell with common thugs. He was not the center of a courtroom spectacle, and Claire was ready for some wine. Wine inevitably led to activities that would ease his tension dramatically. “So, you’ll keep me safe. I recall something about meeting all of my needs,” he breathed in her ear. “I’m feeling a bit tense,” he explained.

Claire’s attention never deviated from the landscape outside the window. She nodded. “I’m certain you are, Christopher. Wine always helps me.” O’Brien ran his hands up Claire’s sides slowly, anticipating her usual aggressive response. Claire remained still and closed her eyes. “Wine, Christopher,” she said flatly. “Get the wine.”

“How are you feeling?” Alex asked Cassidy. “Honestly?”

Cassidy took a deep breath, inhaling Alex’s presence and all that came with it. She shimmied closer to her wife and let all of her stress fall away. “Relaxed,” Cassidy finally answered.

“What happened?” Alex asked tentatively.

Cassidy knew that the question was inevitable. They had spent a quiet day together with Dylan, opting to forego any conversations that might produce anxiety for any of them. It was time that all three were in dire need of spending together. Cassidy had fought her exhaustion for hours, admittedly avoiding any risk of deeper conversation. She toyed with Alex’s sweatshirt as a momentary distraction.

“I passed out,” Cassidy explained.

“I know that. Why did…”

Cassidy pulled Alex closer and finally spoke. “Oh, Alex….I just got rundown. Not being able to keep much food down didn’t help. You were way. Dylan had a horrible week at school. Then Chris called in the middle of the night….”

“Wait. O’Brien called here?” Alex could not believe that the congressman would have the audacity to intrude on their lives yet again.

“He did,” Cassidy tried to speak calmly. She felt Alex’s body become rigid with anger and pulled herself up to look into Alex’s eyes. “You need to calm down,” Cassidy warned her wife. “I know you are angry and I know you are upset. I need you…”

Alex nodded and gently pulled Cassidy back against her. “I’m sorry. Go on.”

“His call isn’t important, Alex. He was drunk and he was feeling sorry for himself. I thought it was you when the phone buzzed. I just wanted to hear your voice. He took me completely off guard. For a minute I thought I was still sleeping,” Cassidy recalled the conversation with her ex-husband. “After I hung up….I just couldn’t sleep. With so much going on….I just needed to slow down,” Cassidy admitted. “I didn’t slow down. I was dehydrated and over tired. Dylan was shouting for me, and I ran up the stairs too quickly. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I remember feeling dizzy and then nothing until the paramedic was over me.”

Alex stroked Cassidy’s back and placed a kiss on her head. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” she apologized.

“You can’t be here every minute,” Cassidy stated the obvious and felt Alex’s head shaking.

“I also can’t be away so much,” Alex voiced her realization. Cassidy didn’t want to admit that she was relieved by the statement. She wanted to support Alex fully in her career. The last week had been trying. Cassidy was beyond tired emotionally and physically, and she craved Alex’s strength. She desperately tried to respond, but words failed her.

“Cass?” Alex called gently.

“I want to tell you that I’m fine,” Cassidy said.

Alex chuckled softly. “But, you’re not fine,” she said. “It’s okay, Cass. You don’t have to be.”

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to be here taking care of me,” Cassidy said in frustration. “I don’t want to be that….”

“Be what?” Alex asked. “Cassidy, when I heard my mother’s voice on the phone….Look, I know that you want to take care of everyone. That’s why I say you are like everyone’s mom. You are. You have to let us take care of you sometimes. You have to let me…”

“I know.” Cassidy took a deep breath. Before she could stop herself, she confessed exactly what had been on her mind. “I needed you this week. I just needed to hear your voice. Dylan wanted to be a Toles and nothing I said seemed to make him feel better. I spent so many hours on the bathroom floor I started counting speckles in the tile. If it wasn’t Chris on the news, it was all about Russ and the embassy. I didn’t know where you were. I don’t want to do this alone,” Cassidy rattled off her thoughts like a freight train.

“It’s okay,” Alex comforted her wife. “I know. I promise, you are not going to do any of this alone. I promise,” Alex repeated the words over and over until she felt Cassidy begin to relax. She rocked Cassidy gently and was content to allow a peaceful silence to hover.

“Alex?” Cassidy broke the stillness.

“Yeah?”

“I want to do the paternity test with Jonathan. I know I should care about the consequences in the future…the lie… But I……..”

Alex sat up against the headboard and pulled Cassidy along with her. “I agree,” she said.

“You do?” Cassidy asked.

“Yeah, I do. Dylan needs to feel safe. He needs to believe he is an equal part of everything. I know you are worried about keeping the truth from him. I am too, but we have to do what we believe will keep him safe, and that includes emotionally. Honestly, I think Dylan will be fine when the time comes to tell him the truth. And that time will come,” Alex said.

“I know,” Cassidy’s voice shook.

“Listen, Cass. Before we do that.....Things are….I don’t know how…There’s something I have to tell you,” Alex sighed.

“Did something happen while you were gone?” Cassidy asked fearfully.

“A lot happened, actually. Some of it might be along the lines you are thinking, but none of that is important. Jonathan and I....well, he knew for a while…I….”

“What? Alex….you’re scaring me,” Cassidy said.

Alex chuckled nervously. “He’s my brother, Cassidy.”

“What are you talking about?” Cassidy said as she moved to sit up fully.

“My father….My father is Pip’s biological father,” Alex said.

“You’re not joking; are you?” Cassidy looked at Alex quizzically. “Alex? This is not a funny joke.”

“It’s not a joke. He is. Jonathan Krause is my half-brother. Uncle Pip is actually, literally Dylan and Mackenzie’s uncle,” Alex explained. Cassidy’s mood immediately shifted. Alex could tell by the signature arch of her wife’s left eyebrow and the way Cassidy was struggling to conceal her smile. “What’s so funny?” Alex asked.

“Mackenzie?” Cassidy questioned her wife. “Did Dylan bribe you while I was in the bathroom or something?”

“No,” Alex said indignantly. “He made a lot of good points,” Alex defended her stance. Cassidy pursed her lips to stem her laughter. It amazed Cassidy how the simplest sentiment could dispel all the stress and sadness in life. Time with her family always reminded Cassidy that she was happier than she ever imagined possible; happier and completely in love with the woman next to her. Cassidy listened intently as Alex continued to argue Dylan’s case. “And, besides…Mackenzie will work either way. Less work for us,” Alex offered her reasoning.

“Less work for us?” Cassidy asked curiously.

“Well, let’s be honest. I think we both know you would rather it be a surprise. Am I right? So, either way…boy or girl, Mackenzie is it. One and done,” Alex beamed.

“Uh-huh. What about a middle name?” Cassidy raised a new question.

“Eh. No one needs a middle name. It’s just something your mom can use to threaten you when she’s mad. Everyone knows that,” Alex said. With that final statement Cassidy lost all desire to hold back and erupted into laughter. There were many moments when she could swear on her life that Dylan somehow came from Alex. She was certain Dylan would agree with the entire argument Alex had just waged.

“Maybe you should have been an attorney,” Cassidy poked.

“Does that mean we win?” Alex opened her eyes wide for effect.

“I wasn’t aware this was a competition,” Cassidy said firmly. She watched as Alex’s excitement deflated a degree and rolled her eyes. “Yes, Alex. Mackenzie it is.”

“Oh good,” Alex sighed. “I was worried.”

“Worried that I wouldn’t agree?” Cassidy wondered.

“Nah. I would have been fine with whatever you wanted,” Alex admitted. “I just hate calling him, the baby. Seems so impersonal.”

Cassidy leaned in and kissed Alex’s cheek. “Him? You are adorable,” Cassidy said as she moved her kiss to Alex’s lips.

“Really? Adorable, huh?”

“Yes…when you aren’t being annoying,” Cassidy tried to act serious.

“I’m not annoying…..Am I? Cass….Am I annoying?”

Cassidy giggled and captured Alex’s lips again. No, love. You really are adorable.”

“So, what do you think about Pip?” Alex asked.

Cassidy sighed. She was curious how Alex discovered that Jonathan Krause was her brother. She was even more intrigued by the possibilities that surrounded this new information. Somehow,
she didn’t find it all that shocking. She looked at Alex for a moment and realized it made sense. Cassidy adored Jonathan Krause from the moment they met. She understood his feelings ran along a different path than her own. To Cassidy, her friend Pip was the big brother she never had. She placed her forehead against Alex’s and spoke softly. “I don’t want to talk about your brothers, either of them, right now,” Cassidy whispered.