Coming Home (11 page)

"I'm thankful none of us get what we deserve,"
Craig said as he gave Nana a hug.

Susan watched the joyful embrace feeling not for the first
time that she was missing out on something very wonderful, yet a little creepy
at the same time. Wonderful because she could see the joy it brought these two
people, creepy probably because she did not understand it one little bit.

Craig pulled away and smiled at Nana, "Thank you for
sharing that with us." He looked at Susan and she gave him a little smile.

He stood up, "I brought a little something for
you."

"Oh, I forgot that you brought me a present."

Craig picked up the CD that he had set on the couch and
handed it to Nana. "This has the song that you liked on Sunday on it.
Along with a number of other wonderful worship songs."

Nana looked at the CD and then back at Craig. "How did
you know?"

"Susan asked me if I knew what song it was, and after
a little research, I found this. It's called Revelation Song," he said
pointing to the appropriate track on the back of the CD case.

"Oh, I want to listen to it now." She looked at
Susan, "Will you put this in the record player?"

Susan smiled as she took the case from Nana; she always
called the CD player the record player.  She got the CD into the player and
found the correct track. She turned around after the music began to play and
watched as Nana and Craig closed their eyes as if in prayer. She stood there
through the whole song listening to the words, wishing she understood them and
wishing she understood the looks of adoration on the faces of the two people
she was watching.

At one point Craig raised his hands up to the ceiling and
Susan felt as though she was invading a very private moment. She looked down at
the floor and thought, If there is truly anything to understand in these words
being sung, if there is any truth to them I want to... What? Know? Understand?
She wasn't at all sure what she wanted. She glanced back up at Craig and Nana.
Nana had raised her hands also and had a look of such pure joy on her face that
it almost took Susan's breath away.

As the final strains of the song faded away Susan got goose
bumps and felt a chill race down her spine. There was a feeling of someone or
something else being in the room. Susan looked around and felt a sudden need to
get out of this room that was closing in on her.  She fled as she heard Craig
start to pray out loud.

Craig heard Susan leave the room as the next song on the CD
began to play. He finished his prayer and listened as Nana prayed. He silently
prayed for Susan as he had been since their drive over here. He prayed that she
would come to know Jesus as her personal Savior. "Amen," he said as
Nana finished praying and they lifted their heads and looked at each other.

Nana smiled, "I just love that song."

Craig nodded his head, "Me too."

Nana looked around, "Where is Susan?"

"I think she went out to get a breath of fresh
air."

Nana nodded her head. "Maybe you should go find
her," she said with a twinkle in her eye.

Craig smiled at her, "I think you may be right. We'll
be back in a little bit."

"Don't hurry on my account; I will be listening to
these wonderful worship songs."

Craig nodded his head as he headed toward the back door
where he was pretty positive Susan had exited the house from. He stepped out of
the house and shut the door softly trying not to disturb Susan who looked to be
deep in thought. She was sitting in a wicker chair on the deck and staring out
at the back yard. He walked over and sat in a matching chair. Susan turned her
face to look at him.

"What just happened in there?" She asked quietly.

Craig looked at her, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, not to be mystical or anything, it felt like
there was someone else in that room, someone other than you, me and Nana."

Craig looked down at his hands which were folded between
his knees and prayed for wisdom. He looked back up at her, "I believe it
was the Holy Spirit."

She rolled her eyes, "That sounds mystical."

"Well, yes, I suppose it could sound mystical. But I'm
serious, just the same."

"So you believe a spirit from the nether world came
into Nana's living room?" She asked doubtfully.

Craig scratched his head, "Not just any spirit, Susie,
The Holy Spirit, God's Spirit."

Susan leaned back and combed her fingers through her short
hair, "I don't believe in the Holy Spirit."

Craig nodded his head, "I know. But that doesn't mean
He doesn't exist."

Susan looked at him with raised eyebrows.

Craig continued, "You can't see the wind, but that
doesn't mean it doesn't exist."

"I can't see it, but I can see the effects of
it."

Craig nodded his head, "Exactly, it's the same way
with God. You can't see him, but you can see evidence of Him wherever you
go."

Susan shook her head, "I thought we were talking about
the Holy Spirit."

Craig nodded his head again, "Yes, God, Jesus and the
Holy Spirit are one."

"So you believe in three gods?"

Craig shook his head, "God the Father, God the Son and
God the Holy Spirit are one."

"That doesn't make any sense," Susan said
starting to get up.

"Wait," Craig said laying a restraining hand on
her arm.

Susan sat back down.

"It is confusing, I agree. Think of us."

"Us?" She asked moving a finger between the two
of them.

"I mean, think of a person. A person has a physical
body, a soul and a spirit. The physical body we can see, that is like Jesus.
The soul is our intellect and emotions, which is like God. Our spirit is the
eternal part of us, the part that desires a relationship with God, like the
Holy Spirit. Three separate yet necessary parts, one person."

"So you're saying we are like God?"

"We are made in the image of God, yes."

"You don't believe you are God, do you?" She
asked skeptically.

Craig shook his head emphatically, "No, I am
definitely not God."

She gave him a relieved smile, "I'm glad to hear
that."

"Did what I say make sense to you?"

"I still don't understand it, if that's what you
mean."

He nodded his head, "It is a difficult concept to
grasp. It took me a long time to understand it and there are still times when
it is just so mind boggling that I just thank God for who He is even though I
cannot completely comprehend it."

"So you don't really know what you believe?" She
asked with her eyebrows pulled together.

Craig shook his head, "No, I know what I
believe."

"What do you believe?"

Craig tried to calm the erratic beating of his heart as he
thanked God; this was exactly the opening he had been praying for. "I
believe that Jesus is the Christ the only begotten Son of God. I believe that
He was born of a virgin, died on the cross for my sins and rose again on the
third day. I believe He ascended into heaven and is there preparing a place for
me," he stopped, wondering if he were blowing her away.

"Wow. Ok so you do know what you believe. I'm just not
sure how you can believe it."

"It’s in the Bible."

"How do you know the Bible is true?"

"Well, besides my faith, it has been proven to be
true."

"Hmmm. Then why doesn't everyone believe it?"

"Creation has been scientifically proven also, but
people still choose not to believe it."

"I find it hard to believe in evolution. But I see
what you are saying."

Craig smiled, "I think it actually takes more faith to
believe in evolution than it does in a creator God."

Susan chuckled, "Well, I never said I believed in a
creator god either, but you make a good point."

Craig looked at her for a long moment.

"What?"

"Can I ask what you believe in?"

Susan shrugged her shoulders. "I don't really believe
in anything. I don't think it is possible to know beyond a shadow of a doubt
that God is real or not real."

Craig prayed silently that she would think differently one
day. He nodded his head, not knowing what to say to her.

Susan stood up, "Well, that was quite a conversation.
I think we should probably head back inside. Nana probably thinks we got lost
or something."

"Ok, but if you ever have any questions, please don't
hesitate to ask me, okay?"

Susan smiled at him, "Okay."

Craig felt his heart bump wildly in his chest at her smile.
And he prayed that God would protect his heart because he knew he could easily
fall in love with this woman, but he also knew that until she had a personal
relationship with Jesus, that was not an option. He followed her into the house
wondering where one drew the line between being a friend and being something
more.

“Oh, you two came in at the perfect time," Nana said
as they walked into the living room.

"How so, Nana?" Susan asked.

"Well, I was just thinking I was hungry and pizza
sounds really good right about now." She looked at Craig.

Craig held up a hand while he spoke into his cell phone and
ordered a pizza.

"I think he reads minds," Nana said to Susan.

Susan just nodded her head in amazement.

Half an hour later they were munching on pizza and salad as
they talked about everything from the weather to the sports teams to politics.
They laughed and disagreed and generally just had a good time.

When they were finished Susan said that she and Craig
should be going.

Craig nodded his head in agreement, "We didn't plan on
taking up your entire evening."

"Oh, I enjoyed every minute of it," Nana said
with a smile.

Craig gave her a quick hug then watched as Susan gave her a
hug and they made their way out the door.

"You two come back any time, okay?"

"Bye, Nana," Susan said as she climbed into
Craig's car and he shut the door for her.

Craig got in the car and started it and they both waived to
Nana as he maneuvered the car out of her driveway.

Craig felt Susan looking at him and he glanced her way.
"What?"

"You are different."

"Different from what?"

"From what you used to be like when we were
together."

"Is that a good thing?"

She shrugged, "I guess so." She turned to look
out the window.

"I hear a ‘but’ in there somewhere."

She gave him a crooked smile, "But we still can't be
together, can we?"

Craig prayed for the Lord to give him wisdom. "Not as
a couple, no, but we can still be friends."

Susan smiled at him, "Have you ever heard of a man and
woman having a completely platonic relationship?"

"Well, it may not be the norm, but I believe it is
possible. Either way, you are still welcome to come to our Tuesday beach
nights."

"I may take you up on that, it is kind of fun to watch
you with all those kids."

"They are great kids."

She nodded her head, "They seem like it."

They rode the rest of the way to Susan's restaurant in
silence.

As Susan climbed into her car Craig asked, "So I'll
see you tomorrow night?"

"Only if you promise to make me another gourmet hot
dog." she said tongue in cheek.

He chuckled, "I know you still don't think there is
such a thing, but you have to admit the one I made for you was better than the
one you had your first time there."

"Well, that's a no-brainer."

He laughed again, "Good-bye, Susan."

She gave him a smile that warmed his heart, "Bye,
Craig."

He watched her drive away as he prayed for her salvation.
"She is questioning her belief system, Lord. I think that is a good thing
as long as she searches in the right direction. I pray that You will lead her
to a faith in Jesus."

Susan pulled her beach chair out of the trunk of her car.
Three weeks had passed, three weeks in which she had seen Craig on Tuesdays at
the beach and gone to church with Nana on Sundays. That made a total of five
"sermons" she had listened to. Tonight would be the sixth one. They
really didn't make any more sense to her now than they did in the beginning,
but she did have more questions than she did three weeks ago. She hadn't really
asked Craig to explain things to her. She wasn't sure why, whether it was
because she didn't want him to know she was questioning things about his faith
or because she was embarrassed, she didn't know. She saw him coming toward her
and her heart started thumping wildly as it did every time she saw him. She
knew she was falling in love with him all over again, but she couldn't make
herself stay away from him. She tried. Every Tuesday she tried to think of
excuses not to go to the beach, but when it came down to the wire, she was
always getting into her car and driving it to the beach. She couldn't help
herself. She knew they couldn't be boyfriend and girlfriend and now, instead of
making her angry she respected him more for sticking to what he believed. She
found herself wishing she believed in something half as much as he believed in
his Bible.

She smiled at him as he got closer.

"Hey, I'm glad you made it, Susan," he said as he
took her chair from her.

She closed the trunk of her car and they walked together
toward the fire pit where the junior high group was gathering.

"Have you had any more questions since we talked a few
weeks ago?" Craig asked with a glance in her direction.

"Some, but I don't want to bother you with them,"
she said honestly.

"Susan, it isn't a bother."

She shrugged her shoulders.

"Have you asked Amy?"

Susan looked at him, "Why would I ask her?"

He smiled, "Well, she believes in the Bible, she might
know some of the answers to your questions."

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that."

"How is your web-site doing, anyway?"

"Good. We’re waiting to launch it until the remodel is
completed. I’m looking forward to seeing if we actually receive some orders
from it."

"I’m sure you will," he said as he set her chair
down and turned to go toward the growing group of kids. He stopped and turned
back toward her, "We are having another clean-up day on Saturday. Would
you like to join us?"

"Where are you going to be cleaning this time?"

"Pacific Beach from seven to ten in the morning."

"I think I could probably work that into my
schedule," she said thinking that she should be trying to spend less time
with him, rather than more.

"Great, I can pick you up if you want me to."

Susan nodded her head, "Okay." She looked toward
the kids who were watching them apparently waiting for Craig. She turned back
toward at him, "I think they are waiting for you."

He looked at the group then back at her, "Do you want
to join in?"

She shook her head, "Oh, I think I will just watch for
now."

He nodded his head and went to help organize a game. Susan
watched him and thought about what he had said about Amy. She didn't know why
she had never thought about asking her. She felt a little foolish about that,
Amy lived what she believed every bit as much as Craig did.

The following day Susan nervously dialed Amy's phone
number. She liked Amy; she was actually becoming a pretty good friend.  She was
easy to talk to, at least. 

"Hi Susan. I hope there isn't a problem with the
website."

"No, no. It is actually great, I can't tell you how
much I appreciate all the hard work you are putting into it."

"I love doing it." Even though Susan couldn't see
her, she knew she was smiling.  She could hear it in her voice.

"I was actually calling because I have some
questions." Susan placed her free hand over her heart which was beating
nervously.

"About what?"

"Well...about...Well, I guess about your faith."

"I would love to answer any questions you have, would
you like to meet for a cup of coffee?"

Susan let out the breath she hadn't known she was holding.
"I would like that a lot."

"When is a good time for you, I am actually free today
or tomorrow morning."

"Could we meet today?"

"Are you at the restaurant?"

Susan nodded her head then realized Amy couldn't see her,
"Uh, yeah...I mean, yes, I am."

"How about I meet you there in an hour and then we can
decide where to go from there?"

"Thanks, Amy."

"No problem, Susan. I'll see you soon."

Susan clicked off her cell phone and took a few deep
breaths. She felt as though her life was going in a direction she had never in
a million years thought it would ever go. She, Susan, was interested in knowing
more about the Bible.  She shook her head. Not just interested, it was almost
like a compulsion, like she couldn't stop herself from asking questions, even
if she wanted to. She didn't know why she had this desire to know more about
Nana's, Amy's and Craig's faith, but she knew the desire wouldn't go away until
she got the answers she was literally craving.

An hour and a half later Susan and Amy were sitting
comfortably on a park bench sipping iced caramel vanilla lattes from Susan's
almost completely remodeled restaurant. Amy turned toward Susan, "I would
like to pray for our conversation before we begin."

Susan nodded her head, she wasn't surprised. Every time Amy
had come to her office to work on the website she had prayed before they
started. Susan was still surprised at how easily it came to her, though.

"Dear Father," Amy began, "We come to you
now in praise and thanksgiving. You are worthy of all our praise. I want to
thank You for Susan and her willingness to seek the answers to the questions
she has. I pray that You will give me wisdom and insight necessary to answer
her questions. Thank You so much for Your love for us and for Your Son, Jesus.
In Jesus name, Amen."

"Amen." Susan said for the first time in her
life, that she could remember and she felt calmness settle over her.

Amy smiled at her, "What would you like to ask,
Susan?"

"I have so many questions, I probably should have
written them down or something."

Amy patted her shoulder, "I understand, before I
accepted Jesus into my heart I had so many questions I felt my head was
spinning around on my neck because of them."

Susan chuckled, "That is about how I feel. I don't
know where to start."

"Why don't we start with who Jesus is?" Amy
suggested.

Susan nodded her head. "Okay, who is Jesus? I always
thought He was just another good person like Mother Theresa."

"That is a common misconception. But it is common
knowledge that Jesus claimed to be God. He believed He was God. So, Jesus was
either God incarnate, or a pathological liar, and I think we would both agree
that it would be silly to consider a pathological liar on the same par with
Mother Theresa."

"Yeah, it does sound silly when you put it like that,
but what do you mean when you say 'God incarnate'?"

"That means that Jesus was one-hundred percent God and
one-hundred percent man."

"That doesn't make sense."

"It does boggle the mind, I agree. But that is what
the Bible says, so it all comes down to the question, do you believe the Bible
is God's Word?"

Susan puffed out a breath, "I don't know. I want to, I
think. I mean, I've seen the changes in my grandma and I see people like you
and how you live and the joy you have and I want that. But..."

"But?"

Susan looked at her, "I'm afraid."

Amy laid a hand on Susan's, "God is not the God of
fear, but of peace, and I'm not talking world peace, I'm talking peace within
yourself. Spiritual peace."

"I don't think I've ever felt that before."

"You can't have it without God in your life."

"Okay, so what does it mean to accept Jesus as your
personal Savior? I've heard that so many times over the past few weeks and it
doesn't make sense. What do I need to be saved from? I'm a fairly good person.
I find it hard to believe that God would send me to Hell."

Amy nodded her head. "Do you know why Jesus came to
earth?"

"To die?"

"Yes, He came to earth so He could be the perfect
sacrifice. It says in the Bible that no man comes to the Father except through
Jesus. If He hadn't come to die, we would all be doomed to eternal death, no
matter how good we are."

"Why is He the only way?"

"It is God's plan; His desire is that no one should
perish but that all have eternal life with Him. So He, in His goodness and
mercy, provided a way for us to be with Him for eternity. I like to think of it
like this: we are on one side of a great chasm, God is on the other side, the
cross which Jesus died on provides a bridge from where we are to where God is
so we can cross over and be with Him."

A light bulb went on in Susan's brain. "I will never
be good enough," she said softly.

Amy patted her hand, "No one is, that is why Jesus
came to save us."

Susan looked at Amy, "I don't want to be on this side
of the chasm anymore, I want to be on God's side."

Amy gave her a sweet smile, "Oh, Susan, all you have
to do is ask Jesus to come into your heart and forgive you of all your
sins."

"Can I do that now or do I have to wait until church
on Sunday?"