Coming Around Again (20 page)

Such words. Such sweet, beautiful, needed words. At
last. Finally. Stella covered his hands with her own and said softly, “Then
just come home. If you leave me again, I’ll just kill you.”

“Dump my body here?”

She shrugged. “Yeah. Pretty much, yes.”

“Good. I know the rules.”

Stella shook her head. “No more rules. Just two. I
won’t leave you. And you don’t leave me. That’s one.”

“Mutual, okay. And the second?”

She had to take a breath before she could speak, to
compose herself. “You talk to me. Even if I don’t want to, you know I’m a
stubborn bitch, just grab me, sit me down and vent. I don’t care what it’s about,
I don’t care if I fight you. Just talk to me. Please?”

“I swear. I always will.”

He kissed her on the forehead and embraced her. For
a long time, they sat together on the beach, legs and arms entwined as the sun
set over Tulum’s long stretch of paradisiacal beach. Eventually, he got up and
pulled her to her feet.

“Let’s get cleaned up and go and eat. There’s a
Thai restaurant inside a club, about ten minutes from us.”

Stella’s stomach rumbled immediately and Niels
laughed. “Food. Good to know that’s still a priority for you.”

“What? We ate five long hours ago!”

“Uh huh,” he murmured, curling his hand into hers
and walking her back to their room. As soon as he opened the bungalow door,
Stella walked into his body. “Before you say something,” he said slowly, “I had
nothing to do with this.”

“What?” she asked, peeking around him to see the
bed laid with an intertwined towel swan couple. The path to the bed had been
laid with blush red rose petals and lit candles in the dusk.

“What the hell?” she breathed, stepping around him.
Their room had been obviously cleaned, but the petals and the candles and the
swan towels added intense romanticism to the space.

She reached for his bag and took a photo. Several.
Most of the expression on Niels’ face. “It’s okay,” she assured him, patting
his cheek. “You’ve more than topped this with just the spoken word. You haven’t
been outdone by the hotel staff.”

He locked the bungalow door and plucked the camera
from her fingers, throwing it back into his bag.

“Erm, what are you doing?”

“Proving I can do better than the spoken word,” he
murmured, tugging at the ties of her bikini with one determined hand.

The boys were still at their grandmother’s house when Stella and Niels
wheeled in their suitcases. They hadn’t warned anyone what was coming. A lot of
questions. A
lot
of questions for them both. Stella could have cared
less.

“Let me put your things in the laundry…”

Niels put a restraining hand on her arm, as she reached for his bag.
“Leave it where it is for a moment. I just want to sit down for a moment with
you.”

The obsessive-compulsive in her really wanted to sort through the cases
and put everything away .The romantic in her recognised her husband’s need to
feel assured before the normalcy of life spoiled the view. She led him into the
living room and as soon as he sat down, she curled up in his lap, burying her
face in his neck.
Feels better
, she
thought.
Feels normal
.

“How soon can you get your things together?”

“It’ll take a few days,” he replied, his voice rumbling against her
forehead. “Why?”

“This is going to sound really stupid, but I’m kinda worried that if you
go, you’ll realise just how much hard work this all is and you’ll stay put in
your home.”

His arms tightened around her. “I’m not leaving you again. I promise.”

She heard him, but Mexico, their beach, bungalow and the stillness that
came with being so many thousands of miles away were long gone. With a deep
breath, inhaling her husband’s scent, she snuggled closer. “Isn’t it weird?
That it’s so quiet?”

He caught her chin on the edge of his hand and pulled her into a kiss.
“Not even a bit.”

Before she knew it, they were both fast asleep in a tangle of limbs and the
sofa throw. The banging of the door forced one eye open and Danny came barging
into the room. He observed his parents, his divorced,
living-in-separate-houses, forced-civility parents, curled up on the sofa
together and backed out of the room without another word, slamming the door as
he went.

“Uh oh,” Niels sighed heavily, lifting his body from Stella and walking
into the corridor. Stella followed him where Judith helped Will with his
jacket.

“You’re back!” their youngest son said in delight, holding his arms out
for a hug. Stella scooped him into her arms and he murmured, “You smell like
the beach, Muma.”

She squeezed him tighter and smoothed a hand over his cheek. “We’re
going to have to get a take-away. There’s nothing to eat and we all need to
talk.” A lot sooner than either of them intended, but considering their faux
pas, the talk had to happen.

Niels nodded upstairs. “I’m going to deal with our eldest.”

Judith asked, “What were you doing to upset him?”

“We were asleep,” Stella said, as Niels took the stairs two at a time to
the twins’ bedroom. “Listen, Mum, thank you for looking after them.”

Judith ruffled Will’s hair. “My pleasure. I’ll leave you to it, but call
me,” she added pointedly. Stella nodded and kissed her mother’s cheek.

Niels appeared at the top of the stairs, Danny underneath his arm, as
the boy struggled. “Don’t want to talk to you or
you
!
” their eldest son pointed at Stella.

Will frowned. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Them!” Danny yelled. “They don’t know what they’re doing!”

“All right, that’s enough,” Niels’ stern tone made Danny close his mouth
promptly. “You know you’re not allowed to talk to me or your mother that way.”

Without setting Danny down, he stalked into the living room. Stella and
Will followed. Still small enough that being set on the sofa saw his feet
swinging inches from the ground, Danny pouted and folded his arms. Stella asked
Will to sit beside him, and deliberately, she sat on the floor in front of
them. Niels joined her.

“I know it’s been difficult for you both,” Niels began. “Harder than it
has been for your mother and I, to separate and form separate homes.”

“We’re sorry,” Stella added earnestly. “The first and hardest lesson you
ever learn from your parents, is that they’re human. They make mistakes. Bad
ones… And all we can do is try and make up for that.”

Will’s frown deepened. “Are you getting back together?”

Niels and Stella exchanged looks before Niels admitted, “We are. I’m
moving back in.”

“Why did you do the divorce, then?” Danny demanded. “Why did you make us
all upset? What for? What was the point?” His little voice broke on the last
word and he burst into tears. Niels sat next to him, his arm curving the boy
into his lap, the same way he had Stella a few hours ago.

“Your mother said it. We’re human. We made a mistake. But we love each
other. We need each other, as much as we love and need you two.”

“But what if you don’t love each other again?” Will asked. Stella
scooted forward and kissed his hands reassuringly.

“We never stopped. Ever. We were very angry and very upset with each
other, but we didn’t stop being in love. William, I have loved your father for
nearly fifteen years. I will love him for the next fifty. Fifty times fifty.
Times infinity.”

Niels reached over Danny to touch Stella’s hand. Her smile to him
wobbled with the force of her emotion. “Same. A thousand ways, the same.”

“But I asked you,” Danny cried. “To get back together. Ages ago. And you
said you couldn’t.”

Stella raised an eyebrow. “Child, since when do you get your way?”

He sent her a look. “This isn’t the same as an XBox, Muma.”

“It is. The downside is, no more double presents.”

Will blinked. “I think that should carry on. Really. It’ll help.”

“No, it won’t,” his father refused the request immediately. “If you want
to talk, or you’re confused, or you really need to know why your mother and I
have to spend a lot of time talking about things together… Come and speak to
us.”

Danny glared at his mother. “Are you sure? No more Rashes or Royces?”

“No more,” she promised. No one had or ever would compare to Niels.
“Just me, your brother, your dad, and you. The four of us.”

Will grinned. “Told you, Dan.”

His brother wrinkled his nose and looked up to Niels. “Can we have
Chinese, please?”

“Is that all you’re concerned about? Food?”

“Yeah. Can we?”

Niels shook his head. “Whatever you like. Go and get the leaflet from
the kitchen.”

“K.”

He slid from the sofa and before he rushed to the kitchen, he flung
himself into Stella’s arms and whispered, “Don’t leave Daddy again, okay?”

She tilted her head back to compose herself before she whispered back to
her son, eldest by mere minutes. “I promise, darling. Never, ever.”

He kissed her on the cheek and disappeared. Will tapped his fingers
together. “He owes me money. I told him this would happen.”

Overwhelmed by their children’s reactions, Niels and Stella looked for a
distraction. “What do you want to watch on TV?” they asked.

***

A few days later, the last of Niels’ immediate possessions were
delivered to their house. With their children at school, Stella had the time to
make room for her husband once more. Not that the room didn’t exist. She simply
had to contract her belongings, rather than spread them out.

Finishing her call, she waited for him to come to the conservatory and
join her for a light lunch of soup.

“I purged a lot, and there are several bags for charity that I will deal
with. Don’t touch them.”

She held up her hands in defence. Watching him pour her some
lemon-infused water before he filled his glass, she felt a pang in her chest.
Worry. Constant worry, but what she had done should, or had to make her feel
better. It was for the both of them after all.

“I spoke to my accountant,” she said.

Niels looked up from his bowl. “Why?”

“To pay off the remortgage.”

He stared at her in horror. “Why?”

“Richer. Poorer. And I spoke to Eden. She’s going to arrange for this
house to be in trust for the boys as well, but giving you the right of
residence for life, or anywhere else we choose to live. I’ve asked her to
change my will, so if anything happens to me, you don’t need to worry. We
talked about what else I can do, and I can get some shares…”

“Stella, stop. You don’t need to do this.”

“I do. I need you to know that I am with you. I will stand by you
through anything. It’s just money. I’d rather be poor and with you, than have
everything and be without you. I’ve done that. It’s fucking miserable. And if
doing this means you won’t walk away from me like you’re doing some selfless
act of saving, I’ll do it. We can’t do without you.”

“I can’t accept this from you.”

The knot of worry tightened in her chest. He was going to say no. She
couldn’t let him. This was their chance to start afresh. Even. On the same, financial,
equal page. “Do you know how your parents got through their poverty? Together.
Staying together. Working together. You’re not taking anything from me. I’m
giving it to you. Like a hug. Or a blow job.”

Niels’ face contorted in a combination of disgust and admiration at her
words. “You can’t compare hundreds of thousands of pounds to a blow job,
Stella.”

“I can! You take those without question! What’s wrong with money? It’s
money that we raised together. I didn’t do everything myself. If you hadn’t
helped with the twins, do you think I’d have been able to open a second salon?
If you hadn’t sat down and gone over business plans with me, do you think I’d
have got the loan? You’ve helped me earn it. All I’m doing is giving you your
share. Please. And then, if you ever, ever worry about money again, you tell
me. Like you promised to.” She held him with her eyes, begging him to
understand, to agree, to take the way out for them all to be together, safe and
secure. Stella soon lost her patience. “Look, your pride does not have a tight
vagina. I do.”

He moved the table out of the way, and pulled her into his arms. “Come
here,” he said gruffly, one palm braced at the nape of her neck, the other
cradling the base of her spine.

“I’ve got you, Niels. Let me do this, and you have me, too.” Her voice
muffled against his chest, she held him as tightly. “Nothing,
nothing
is as important as us being
together.”

“You crazy, stubborn woman.”

She held him even more tightly, pouring all her love and all her
reassurance into her embrace. “We’re safe. We’re sorted, I promise you. I
promise.”

“I wouldn’t ever risk our family again.”

“I know. But like I said. The house is safe. The boys won’t ever go
hungry. My…industriousness for once, has helped. You know I didn’t do this without
you. I couldn’t have.”

“I love you,” he breathed into her hair. “You nutty woman, I love you so
much…” Relief made her eyes sting with tears. Oh thank God! Stronger together.
He knew that. They knew that.

Niels lifted his head, his eyes gleaming with suggestion. “So if this is
like a blow job, what do I give you in return?”

Oh, yeah… Good point…

***

One Year Reunited

Stella filtered through her wardrobe, desperate for something smart and maternal
and non-frumpy to wear. Goodness sake, why was it that any time she needed
clothing, she didn’t have any.

“We’ve got fifteen minutes,” Niels said from the bed, adjusting his
digital camera. “It’s warm enough for you to get in the car in a bra and panties…”

“Got it, got it, got it. I’m not going to embarrass our kids.”

“Any more, you mean?”

She made a face. “They’ll get over it.”

“We really need to stop bribing them,” he suggested.

Really, they did. Danny had a way of making them feel guilty enough.
Weekends away, new bicycles, new phones… It had to stop and her mother
suggested it only really would if Stella and Niels remarried.

“Something nice for the whole family to celebrate.”

Fuck the whole family. Niels hadn’t mentioned remarriage since his vow
in Mexico, and she didn’t have the right to press him. They were as faithful
and true as if they hadn’t divorced at all. But the idea niggled away at her.
Would Danny be reassured if they were married, rather than cohabiting? Her
engagement ring still sat on her right hand. Niels wore his wedding ring
without hesitation.

He came and stood behind her, his fingertips trailing over the seam of
her knickers, just above her bottom. “I have something for you.”

“Please say it’s a dress and we can go to this end of term thingy and
not again embarrass our children?”

“It’s a dress, but not one you can wear today.”

From beneath the bed, he produced a large white box, tied in a blue
ribbon. “What’s this? Niels, we’re going to be late!”