Coming Apart at the Seams (32 page)

“Stop,” he said harshly.

Halting abruptly, she spun to face him, her eyes wide. “What's wrong?”

He pressed his tongue against his teeth, wondering if he would be able to say what he needed to say. “This is.”

She cocked her head. “What are you talking about?”

“I asked for another chance.”

The color drained from her face, and he knew she understood exactly what he meant. That was the thing about him and Teagan. He didn't need to say much for her to get his point.

“And?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

He cleared his throat and thought about what his life would be like if things continued like they were. Every time he was
inside her, he lost a little bit of himself because she gave nothing back.

“This isn't another chance.”

Her eyes narrowed, and she started to tap her foot. He had learned that was never a good sign, but even in the face of her anger, he wasn't going to stop.

“What do you call it?” she asked.

“Sex.”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“I n-n-n-need more than sex.”

“Oh, really?” she asked sarcastically. “You seem happy enough when you're fucking me.”

He winced. When she fought back, she went for blood.

“And I don't see you turning me down when I strip in your kitchen.”

He laughed, but the sound was more bitter than amused. Even if someone held a gun to his head, he wouldn't be able to turn her down.

“I need more,” he repeated, surprised because he was speaking clearly for once.

“What exactly do you
need
?” she asked rudely.

“Love.”

Her eyes widened, and he took a deep breath, gathering the courage to tell her what he should have told her years ago. For some reason, his brain and his mouth seemed to be cooperating, so it was now or never.

“I love you.”

She gasped and dropped her arms to her sides, her face etched with disbelief. As they faced each other, he finally realized how brave she'd been when she had told him she loved him, and how cowardly he'd been when he had rejected her.

“I loved you then, and I love you n-n-n-now.” He swallowed thickly. “And I need you to love me back.”

As he walked toward her, she backed away from him, her eyes huge in her pale face. He continued until she hit the wall and he was pressed against her, his arms on either side of her head and his hands flattened against the drywall. Bending down, he brushed his lips over hers.

“Please love me back,” he implored, painfully aware he was begging for something he had once thrown away.

She pushed against his chest, trying to escape from the cage of his arms. “I don't want to love you.” She shook her head vigorously, her dark hair spilling over her shoulder. “I can't.”

Cupping his hand around the back of her neck, he rested his forehead against hers. He closed his eyes and pulled in a lungful of Teagan, his favorite smell in the whole world.

“T,” he said hoarsely, “if you can't love me, I can't do this anymore.”

“Then stop.”

Teagan took a deep breath and reread the email from Quinn.

T,

I'm transferring oversight of the museum project to Cal. Effective immediately, Priest and his team will report to our annoying brother.

Thanks for your hard work.

Q

She pushed away from her desk and hurried down the stained concrete hallway to Quinn's office. The door was open, and her older brother was talking into his headset. She hovered in the doorway, and when he noticed her, he waved her in.

“David, I want to discuss this further, but I need to run right now,” Quinn said into the headset, his blue eyes intent on her face. “Send Jeff an email and get on my schedule for next week. Yeah. Thanks, chief.”

As Quinn disconnected the call, he pulled off his headset.
Tossing it on the desk, he stood and crossed his office to close the door. When he turned back to her, the expression of loving concern on his face was one she had seen a million times.

No matter what she had done in the past, no matter what mistakes she'd made or the pain she had caused him, Quinn's love for her had never wavered. He was steadfast, and even more important, he knew how to forgive. For Quinn, love always triumphed over anger.

“How's it going, T?” he asked quietly.

“Why?”

He cocked his head. “I assume you're referring to the museum project.”

She nodded. She knew Quinn didn't have a problem with her project management. He would have told her if he did, and he would have given her a chance to make it right.

“It's better for everyone if Cal takes over.”

Quinn was right. It
was
better for everyone, especially her. But for some reason, the thought of not working with Nick anymore made panic well in her chest. She swallowed, trying to ease the constriction in her throat.

“Did Nick ask you to do this?”

Quinn stared at her for a long time before sighing loudly. He dropped down into one of the leather chairs in front of his desk and looked up at her.

“You didn't want to be in charge of the project in the first place,” he reminded her.

“Answer my question, Quinn.”

Looking away from her, he slouched in the chair and laced his fingers together against his flat stomach. “Sit down, Teagan,” he ordered.

She walked around the desk and sat down in his big CEO chair. She raised her eyebrows, daring him to say anything.

He laughed softly. “You're such a brat, and yet somehow, I still love you.”

“Stop stalling and answer my question.”

“He gave me three choices. Assign him to another project. Transfer the museum project to another manager. Or he could resign.”

Teagan's heart thudded heavily at the thought of Nick no
longer working for Riley O'Brien . . . of no longer seeing him every day. Even though she hated to admit it, seeing him was the highlight of her day.

Quinn held out his hands, palms up. “What was I supposed to do, T? You told me that he's a valuable asset to the company. That he's doing a great job on the museum project. So I asked Cal if he would take over the project, and he agreed.” He eyed her across his desk. “I should have asked Cal to take over the minute I found out you and Priest were sleeping together.”

Her cheeks heated with embarrassment, and she dropped her eyes. She had tried to keep her relationship with Nick private, if not secret, just in case her brothers were still in the dark.

“How long have you known?”

“He told me and Cal when we were in Tahoe.”

She looked up, surprised that the three of them had actually talked about it. Neither Quinn nor Cal had given any indication they knew she and Nick were having sex.

“What did he tell you?”

Quinn propped his ankle on his knee, tapping his fingers against his leg. “Sorry. That violates confidentiality.”

She blew out her breath in frustration. “You're not a doctor, a lawyer, or a priest,” she snapped.

He laughed. “What do you want to know exactly?”

She wanted to know why Nick had treated her like a one-night stand the first time they had been together. She wanted to know why he had never returned her phone calls so she could tell him she was pregnant. She wanted to know why he had suddenly reappeared in her life after not seeing him for more than a year.

And most important, she wanted to know why she couldn't put the past behind her.

Dropping his foot to the ground, Quinn leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He speared her with his dark blue gaze.

“T, he knows he messed up.”

She laughed bitterly. “Messed up? Is that what he said?”

He shot her an alert glance. “Actually, he said he fucked up. Why don't you tell me what happened?”

His phone buzzed, and he leaned forward to pick it up. He spoke quietly into the receiver, telling his assistant to hold his calls before replacing the phone in its cradle and bringing his gaze back to her.

“Tell me what happened,” Quinn ordered softly.

Tears prickled the backs of her eyes, and suddenly, she just couldn't hold in the pain any longer. Quinn was her older brother and Nick's best friend, and she knew she shouldn't share this kind of private information with him, but right then, she just needed someone to listen.

“He crawled out of my bed in the middle of the night like I was a slut he picked up in a bar. He was my best friend, and he just disappeared from my life. When I got the news about Daddy, I went to his condo. I was so scared, and I needed him.”

She gulped back the tears that clogged her throat. “He looked at me like I was a stranger. He barely said five words to me, but I understood. He told me that being with me was a mistake. That I should forget it.”

Quinn made a rough noise, his jaw clenched tightly, but she continued anyway. “I told him I didn't want to forget it. I told him that I loved him.” She shook her head. “
God!
The look on his face was horrible.”

“T,” he began, his voice soothing.

“No!” she countered fiercely. “You asked, and you need to hear—”

“Sweetheart, I don't need to hear any more. It's okay.”

“It's not okay!” She sucked in a deep breath. “I begged him, Quinn. I
begged
him. I told him it was okay if he didn't want to be with me. I told him that we could go back and just be friends again.”

Tears trickled down her face, and she roughly wiped them away with her fingertips. “And he said no.
He said no.
I couldn't believe it, and when I asked why, he kicked me out of his condo.”

“What?”

“Some woman was there. One of his gorgeous blondes. Nick just left me in his living room, and she escorted me to the door.”

“
Motherfucker
,” Quinn muttered.

She laughed sadly. “Oh, Quinn, that's not even the worst of it.”

“How could it get much worse?” he asked, shaking his head.

She stared into his eyes. Bebe was the only one who knew about her pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage. But she needed him to understand why she was such a mess.

“Three weeks later I found out I was pregnant.”

Quinn didn't respond immediately, and she wondered if he had heard her. He took a deep breath, and she noticed his fingers were clenched around the armrests of the chair so tightly his knuckles were white.

“I called and left messages telling him that I needed to talk to him. And I texted him, too. But he never responded.”

He took several more breaths, his eyes narrowed. She could tell he was about to lose it.

“What happened?”

She swallowed noisily. She was afraid saying it out loud would make the pain worse.

“I was in the middle of one of my finals, and I started cramping. By the time Bebe got me to the ER, it was too late.”

“Oh, no,” he said softly, his eyes dark.

He stood and quickly rounded his desk. Pulling her to her feet, he wrapped his arms around her.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he murmured, stroking her hair and rubbing her back. “I'm
so
sorry.”

She started to cry again. “I lost Nick's baby. And he didn't even know. He wasn't there when I needed him.”

“I'm here, T.
Always
.”

She cried harder, huge gulping sobs. “I wanted the baby so much. More than I've ever wanted anything. I wanted Nick, too.”

Quinn squeezed her tighter. “It's okay,” he crooned over and over. “It's okay.”

He comforted her for a long time, and when she calmed down, he gave her a gentle push into his chair. Balancing on the edge of his desk next to her, he met her eyes.

“Are you still in love with Priest?”

His question made her stomach tremble. She didn't want to admit her true feelings to anyone, not even herself.

“I don't want to be in love with him.”

He narrowed his eyes, and after a long moment, he chuckled softly. “This is a situation where I can tell you're a lawyer. What you just said is the truth, but it's not the whole truth. You might not
want
to be in love with Priest, but you
are
in love with him.”

When she didn't respond, he tilted his head questioningly. “Why don't you want to be in love with him? Do you think what he did is unforgivable?”

From Teagan's perspective, there were very few things in life that were unforgivable. But that didn't mean everyone had the capacity to forgive, and right now, she didn't know whether she could forgive Nick.

Intellectually she recognized he had made her no promises. She had known his track record with women, and a part of her hadn't been surprised by how he had treated her. But deep inside, she had hoped she was special. She had believed their friendship meant enough to him that he wouldn't treat her the way he treated other women.

“Priest told me and Cal that he's apologized. Many times, in fact.”

“Are you on his side?” she asked with disbelief.

Quinn shook his head, his dark hair flopping over his forehead. “I'm on your side
.
”

She eyed him with a fair amount of skepticism. Quinn loved Nick, too, and there was no way his loyalties weren't divided.

“This is a situation where I can tell you're a CEO because what you just said is the truth, but it's not the whole truth.”

He laughed. “Touché.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Priest messed up. He hurt you. But he's trying to make amends. He said he's tried to explain, but you won't listen.”

“There is no explanation!” She made a scoffing noise. “You just don't understand.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Oh, really? I don't understand what it's like to be in love with someone who does something that rips out your guts?”

She flushed. Quinn definitely understood because Amelia had hurt him badly. And so had Teagan, for that matter.

“I'm sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for?”

“For going behind your back. For almost ruining things with Amelia. For a lot of things.”

He smiled and held up his left hand. A thick platinum wedding band glinted on his ring finger.

“I think it worked out okay,” he said lightly with a cat-that-got-the-cream expression on his handsome face. “But if you're asking for my forgiveness, you already had it.”

“Thank you.” She patted his knee. “You're a good brother, Quinn.”

His smile widened. “I'm a
great
brother.”

She gave a soggy laugh at his response. He leaned back a little against the desk, crossing his feet at the ankles.

“I've been in your shoes, T, so you need to listen to me because I'm speaking from experience. You need to give Priest a chance to explain. And this is just my opinion, but you really need to tell him about the baby. Right now, he doesn't understand exactly how much he hurt you. You can't continue to keep it from him.”

Bebe had told her the same thing, months ago. But Teagan hadn't been ready to take her advice. More important, she hadn't been ready to hear Nick's explanation, and she hadn't been ready to share her pain about the baby, not even with its father.

He placed his hand on her shoulder. “I probably shouldn't violate best-friend confidentiality, but I think you need to know Priest is in love with you.”

“Did he tell you that?”

“Yes. When we were in Tahoe.”

“He only told me a few days ago.”

“
Oh
,” Quinn said, grimacing.

“What does that mean?”

“That's about the same time he came to talk to me about his job. I'm guessing your response left something to be desired.”

“I told him the truth.”

“A version of the truth, but not the whole truth, right?” He cocked his head. “I think there's more going on here. What is it?”

Glancing down, she picked at her manicure. She used to favor deep, dark red, but over the past couple of months, her taste had changed, and right now, a shimmery light pink covered her nails. If she were honest with herself, she would admit the color change reflected her emotions.
She
was lighter, and it was because of Nick.