Come Together (25 page)

“It’s over.” He searched my eyes, and I nodded. “I went to see him last night, and it’s done.”

His muscles tightened along with his jaw. “You went alone?”

I placed my hand on his arm and squeezed. “It’s over. Completely.”

He exhaled but kept his eyes on me. “And us?”

I searched his face. In his eyes I saw everything I wanted. His love. Why couldn’t I accept it? What had I built around my heart that he couldn’t break through? I imagined, all those years ago, it had calcified into something inhuman, something hard, because I had buried it, ignored it, starved it. And for the first time, I wanted to let someone in, but was it too late? Was there any chance of penetrating its hardened exterior?

His eyes flashed as I sat looking at him. “Baby,” he whispered. His voice turned grave. “Let go, please. I’m here, begging you to let me in. Let me love you the way you deserve. I know you’re afraid, but I’m not going anywhere. Ever.”

“How do you know?” I blurted. The happiness I’d felt just from seeing him and the fear his words inspired found their way up my chest. “How do I know you won’t grow tired of me like you did the others?”

“Others?” he asked. “Olivia, there are no others. There only is, and only ever has been, you. Finding you finally . . . I’ve been looking for you for so fucking long. Let me love you.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know how.”

He dropped his head in his hands and ran them through his hair. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how else to get you to see.” He swung his head in my direction. “Is it a ring you want?”

“What?” I gasped, shaking my head. “No!”

“What then? Tell me. I can’t . . .” He put his head back in his hands. Pain emanated from him, and it cut me deeply. I wanted to take it away however I could, no matter what it took.

I dropped onto the concrete and sat back on my calves between his legs. With a hand on each of his knees, I looked up at him through blurry eyes. I took a deep breath. “You were right that night in my apartment,” I admitted. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone. Not even Bill, and not even close. You’re also right that I’m afraid. I’m scared to death that one day you’ll realize you were wrong and leave. Or that you’ll grow bored with the day-to-day and miss your bachelor pad.”

“I hate – ”

“I know, you hate when I call it that. Let me finish. I get that you believe you love me. I see it in the way you look at me. I feel it when you make love to me. You can tell me it a million times, but it won’t change the fact that one day, you might leave. And after only a few days of us, I’m on the verge of a breakdown just thinking about it. What will happen if you do leave? I’d fall, David, and I’d never get back up.”

His beautiful brown eyes darted between mine. I wanted to drown in them. I
could
drown in them, let them swallow me without a fight. That was what scared me most of all.

“You’re so afraid,” he whispered finally. “I can see it in your eyes.”

I nodded.

“You have got to
let go
. You’re killing something beautiful here.” I inhaled sharply and tried to look away, but he caught my chin. “Trust me like I trust you. If you leave me now, I’m the one who will break. Is that what you want? You’re it for me. It’s you. I love you, and no matter how much shit you put me through, nothing will change that.”

My chest stuttered with short breaths as he tore away at my exterior, forcing me to confront my fears or lose him.

“I won’t let anything hurt you, my love,” he said. “And if it does, you’re strong enough to handle it. You’ve been so strong for fifteen years.”

My eyes widened, and I unexpectedly burst into tears. I tried to look away, but his hand held my chin firmly.

“Since the divorce, you’ve carried this fear with you. You’re strong, you’ve proved that. Let me take over now. Give it all to me, and let me be strong for you. Please, let go so I can take care of you.”

I pulled away finally and sobbed into my hands. After another moment I felt his hands pulling on my wrists. His voice was deep when he said, “Don’t hide from me.”

“David,” I said through uncontrollable sobs. “When my parents divorced, I realized that there was no such thing as forever. That things could be taken away in an instant. And it scares me to death how strong our connection is because,” I paused, whimpering with despair, “because the thought of you taking it away is too much to bear.”

He set my hands back on his knees and tucked some hair behind my ear before cupping my face.

“But since the moment I saw you,” I continued, “I’ve felt something that I didn’t think existed. Real and true love. I didn’t recognize it at first, because I didn’t know what it was.”

“You’re there, Olivia,” he said, his eyes boring into mine. “Give me all the shit, everything you’ve been through, and I will take it. Let it go.”

I nodded. “I want to let it go.”

“So do it,” he said gently. “You’re there, just do it.”

My face contorted as his words ran through my mind.
Do it. Let go.
He said I’d been strong. He knew the load I carried, and he wanted to take it. I wanted to give it to him. I nodded and surprised him by throwing my arms around his neck. “I trust you. For you, only you, I can do it,” I whispered and
cried into his shoulder.
I cried because the little girl in me, my thirteen-and-a-half-year-old self, could finally let go. She could finally trust someone enough for me to love and to let love me. I cried because I thought I would never know what it meant to open myself and be at the mercy of another person – pleasure, pain and all.

His arms were tight around me, his hand stroking my hair.

“All I ever wanted was to let go,” I said into his neck.
I pulled back and looked him in his sweet, chestnut-brown eyes. With tear-streaked cheeks and a runny nose, I said, “I love you.”

“I know,” he replied, running his thumbs under my eyes and wiping away the wetness. “I’ve always known.”

~

I watched from over the rim of my wine glass. David poked at a steak on the grill as he and my dad talked very masculine things I didn’t care about. I had done it. I had taken the plunge, and I was scared to death. But more than that, I was blissfully happy. He had broken through something in me with his words, his eyes, his love. How did he know there was a girl in me who couldn’t let go? Who’d been hanging on to something for so long, she couldn’t remember a life before it? David was the only thing I wanted in my life and if it didn’t last, at least I would have these moments with him. He looked over at me and winked, and I wondered if I’d ever seen a more beautiful sight than that.

It was a perfect night in Dallas, and the sun set over us as we cut into our steaks.

“So,” my dad said, “what happens next with Bill?”

I sighed as my bliss bubble popped. Peace was always fleeting. “Well, he has been clear about the fact that he’s not going down without a fight. I guess that means we’ll be going to court.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. I always knew he had a little weasel in him.”

“Dad,” I admonished. “I’m in the wrong here. Because I was unfaithful, he wants me to pay.”

“It’s an empty threat,” David said. “Illinois is a ‘no fault’ state, meaning that infidelity will have hardly any impact on the division of assets. I talked to my lawyer.”

“You did?” I asked.

“Of course.”

“Do you think Bill knows that?”

“Of course he knows that, Olivia,” David said. “He’s a lawyer, for Christ’s sake. He was just trying to scare you. What sorts of assets do you two have?”

“Not much, I guess. We rent the apartment. We own a car, furniture, bank account. The car’s in his name.”

“Do you have any debt?”

I shook my head. “Dad paid for all my school, and Bill’s debt is minimal if anything. He was – is very frugal. We were pre-approved for a loan on the Oak Park house, but that’s it.”

“I didn’t know you’d made an offer,” Dad said. “Thank God they didn’t accept it.” My fork stopped mid-way to my mouth, and David turned to look at my dad. “What?”

“They didn’t accept it because I bought it,” David told him.

“I’m sorry?”

“I bought the house out from under Bill. For Olivia.”

“That’s a little extreme, isn’t it?”

“Yes, sir. But I always trust my gut, in business and otherwise. And my gut told me Olivia would eventually come around.”

No amount of struggling could suppress the smile that broke out over my face. David took my hand under the table and squeezed it.

“Well, well. There’s that smile,” my dad said. “I haven’t seen that in too long.”

“Dad,” I said, embarrassed.

“Bill never made you smile like that. Not that I ever saw. Honestly, it . . .” To my horror, he stopped and sniffled. “It brings a tear to my eye.”

My chin quivered, an automatic response to seeing my dad cry for only the second time in my life.

“No, no,” he said, wiping his face with his napkin. “No more tears. Let David finish his thought.”

David hesitated, and I couldn’t help but laugh through the lump in my throat. “I’m sorry, honey, what were you saying?” I asked.

“Um, well . . . how attached are you to the car and the furniture?”

“God, I hate that piece of shit car.”

“I offered Bill the Shelby for your birthday present this year,” Dad said. “He wouldn’t accept it. Said it was impractical and too expensive to maintain.”

I rolled my eyes. “Are you kidding? He would say that. He’s stingy. And proud.”

“So then the bank account is the only real problem,” David continued.

“Doesn’t sound too bad,” my dad said. “I taught you all about socking away savings.”

I cleared my throat. “It’s paltry. It’s nothing, actually. Most of my savings are in our joint account, which I don’t have access to right now. Bill canceled my cards.”

David’s face changed instantly. “You didn’t tell me that.”

“It happened a few days ago. Anyway, my savings aren’t enough for a divorce lawyer.”

“Mr. Germaine – ”

“Harvey.”

“Harvey,” David said, “I know you’ve been through a divorce.”

“Two,” I interjected.

“I want Olivia out of this marriage as quickly as possible. If it were up to me, it would already be over. I’d like to just wipe the slate clean.”

“David, what – ”

“I don’t know if she told you,” he interrupted me, “but he was unnecessarily rough with her.”

“Pardon?” Dad said, leaning forward in his seat. “Is this true, Olivia?”

“He just grabbed my arm,” I stammered.

“And left marks,” David added.

“His pride was hurt. He’d just learned that David was the one who bought the house.”

My dad ran his hands over his face.

“David broke his nose though,” I said quickly.

David rolled his eyes. “Trying to make a good impression here,” he said under his breath.

My dad laughed darkly. “What are you asking me for, David? Money?”

“No, sir, just some backup if Olivia plans to fight me on this. I’ll get her out, no matter the cost. I’ll pay to have everything taken care of as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, it looks like six months is the soonest it would become official, and that’s if Bill is compliant.”

“David, I can’t ask you to do that,” I said, my eyes wide.

“You didn’t. I’m saying,” he continued, turning back to my dad, “I want to do it. I want to spare her the pain of a long, drawn-out process. Let Bill keep everything – the money, the car, the furniture, whatever. No alimony. I have more than enough for the two of us plus a family, and just so you feel secure, Olivia, you’ll have your salary like we discussed. I’ll take care of the rest.”

“David – ”

“You’d do that?” my dad interrupted.

“In a heartbeat.”

“No,” I said adamantly.

“I tell you, sugar, divorce is a bitch,” Dad said. “I’d hate to see you suffer through it when there’s another option.”

I looked between the two of them, speechless.

“I want to do it, Olivia. You’ve dealt with a lot from Bill. I know he’s been hard on you. Let me take over from here.”

“So we’re just going to let him have everything?”

“Do you care?” David asked.

“No. I hate to put you in that position, though.”

“Don’t look at it that way. Anyway, I own my apartment. This is what we talked about,” he said, staring me down. “Giving up control. Letting me help. It’s nothing for me.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“This is no longer just about you. It involves me too, and this is how I’m going to handle it.”

I gaped at him. “Okay,” I said slowly.

My dad reached over to shake David’s hand. “You’re a good man, David. I think I might be happy that you’re looking after my girl.”

~

“I wish you would just stay here instead of the hotel,” I said to David, running my hands over the fabric of his sweater. The soft cashmere, as always, was the perfect complement to the muscles underneath.