Authors: Maya Banks
“Okay, so tell us exactly what you’re doing,” Adam said.
Max smiled and then related everything he’d just spent the last hour setting up over the phone. When he was done, both Ethan and Adam were smiling broadly. Adam slapped him on the back.
“They’re going to love it.”
D
O you remember our first Christmas together?” Holly asked softly.
She was sitting on the couch, blanket hugged up all around her. Only her hands stuck out, clutching the cup of hot chocolate that Ryan had given her moments before.
The fire roared in the hearth and outside snow was falling at a steady pace. If she was feeling better, it would have been a wonderful day to get the sleigh and play. Her husbands would have heart attacks if she even suggested stepping foot outdoors.
Adam was sitting next to her while Ethan was on
her other side. Ryan stood by the hearth, poking at one of the logs to stoke the flames.
Ethan’s hand went to her head, smoothing back her hair, his smile gentle and full of love. His eyes had a faraway look of remembrance.
“It was the best Christmas ever,” Ethan said.
Emotion glimmered in Ryan’s eyes as he settled into an armchair across from the couch. “Seth was just a baby and we were still reeling and so damn grateful to have you back in our lives.”
Adam’s arm tightened around Holly. A tremor raced up his body and she turned, smiling tenderly at him. He still hated the mention of the time they’d spent apart. He hated remembering the fear that they’d lost her, that she wasn’t coming back.
But she’d known. There was never a question that she’d make her way back home to the men who loved her.
“So many Christmases since then,” she said, her voice aching at the memories. “But you know what? I have a feeling this will be the best yet.”
Ethan smiled indulgently. “You say that every year.”
She pulled a face. “I didn’t say that last year when
Callie and Max were in Europe. I hated that they were gone.”
“This year will be special,” Ryan said. “It’ll be nice to have our children home. All of them.”
Holly’s eyes glittered with tears that she didn’t try to hide. Her life was so full and wonderful. Each and every day. How many people could say that? How many people could say they were loved as Holly was loved?
She was surrounded by it. It enveloped her. Her husbands, her children. Those who’d joined the family. Max and Lauren. And Lily. Sweet, fragile Lily who’d turned her boys’ lives upside down.
“If you start crying, you’re going to hurt,” Adam said gruffly. “Doc said you’d be sore for a few days.”
“You just hate to see me cry,” she teased.
“That too.”
He kissed the side of her head. “I love you, you know.”
Her smile broadened. “Yeah, I know.”
She turned back to include Ryan and Ethan in her view.
“I think we should take a trip after Christmas.”
Ryan’s brows drew together and Ethan shot her a
puzzled look. She couldn’t blame them. She was happiest when she was right here in her own home, surrounded by the people she loved. Callie was the one with wanderlust, always going, wanting to go, waiting for that next adventure.
“What kind of trip?” Adam asked hesitantly.
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe someplace warm. Hawaii or some tropical island somewhere. Someplace private, maybe a private beach where we could just lounge and make love and stay naked all week if we wanted.”
Ethan blinked. “Well, hell.”
“I vote you stay naked,” Ryan drawled. “Maybe the rest of us will at least wear swim trunks, but you, sweetheart, I’d love to keep naked for as long as possible.”
Her heart fluttered and went soft. After all these years, they still thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. They still desired her. Still wanted her. That had never changed, never slowed. Their love had only gotten better and stronger with age.
“We’re as young as we want to be,” she said.
Adam lifted a brow at that. “Are you feeling your years, baby? Because I have to say that you damn sure don’t look like a woman in her fifties.”
She blushed to her toes at the hungry look in his eyes. “I was just reminding myself that age is just a number. It’s all in how you feel, and you know what I feel?”
“What?”
The question came from all three men.
She smiled and kept smiling, the grin growing bigger until her cheeks hurt. “I feel loved, and as long as I feel as loved as I do, I’ll stay young forever. This whole episode made me realize that there’s still a lot I want to do, and I don’t want to miss out on anything. Maybe after we take a trip we can get together with Max and Callie. Plan a family trip for us all. Us, Max and Callie. Even Lauren. Seth, Michael, Dillon, and Lily. Think how much fun it would be to take a big family vacation. We haven’t done that since the children were young.”
Ryan’s eyes went soft. “We’ll take you wherever you want to go, sweetheart. I can’t imagine a better time than one spent with my family. But first we’ll take our trip. Just us, a beach, and a sunset somewhere.”
“Gets my vote,” Ethan said.
Adam’s eyes gleamed with mischief as he stared at Holly. “Just think how easy it’ll be to pack. You won’t even have to bring a suitcase.”
Her brows puckered up as she glanced questioningly up at him.
He leaned over and kissed away the lines on her forehead. “You don’t have to pack if you’re going to stay naked for the entire time, and that damn sure gets my vote.”
L
ILY sat on the edge of her bed, her bottom lip firmly between her teeth as she stared sightlessly toward the closet. Anxiety ate a hole in her stomach. It was Christmas Eve. They were due at her in laws’ soon—they should have already left.
They’d decided to tell the entire family tonight. At dinner. A surprise. A wonderful Christmas present.
She closed her eyes. She wasn’t sure she was prepared. She almost wished she would have gone a quieter route. Told Holly and Callie first. Then maybe the dads. Then she wouldn’t have to face everyone at once.
But neither did she want to deprive her husbands of their special moment. They were over the moon. Cautious. Worried about her. But over the moon ecstatic at the thought of having a child. She knew they wanted several. As many as she was comfortable having.
And maybe she did too. She loved the Colter family. Loved everything about them. She wanted it for
her
family. Her husbands. Her children.
If only she could move past this paralyzing fear that gripped her every time she dwelled more than a moment on the growing life inside her.
“Lily?”
She glanced up to see Dillon standing at the door. His stance told her he’d been standing there awhile. Watching her. Probably worrying.
He walked in without saying anything further and slid onto the bed next to her so that their thighs were touching.
“Everything okay?”
She nodded, hesitated a moment, and then sighed. “I’m just nervous. Maybe a little scared. I know everyone will be happy, but they’ll be worried too. I’m afraid they won’t want to be too excited because they won’t know how well I’m taking it. I don’t want to
suck the joy out of this moment for them like I did with you.”
Dillon frowned and turned more fully toward her so he could capture her with his glare. “You did
not
ruin the moment for me. You’ve got to cut yourself some slack, Lily. You took a hit. You weren’t expecting to become pregnant. It wasn’t something we planned. Under the circumstances, I think you handled it quite well.”
She smiled wanly. “Thanks for saying that.”
He caught her hand and squeezed. “Mom and the dads are going to be overjoyed. Of course they’re going to worry about you. They love you. They know what you’ve been through. But they’ll know when you tell them. They’ll be able to see it in your eyes. Nothing will ruin that moment for them. Learning at Christmas that they’re going to have their first grandchild will be a memory they’ll hold forever. And you’re the one who’ll give that to them.”
She sucked in a breath. “I know it’s stupid for me to be afraid and nervous. I mean, I love them so much and I know they love me. They’ve shown me nothing but support and caring. I couldn’t have ever asked for a better family. I guess I just don’t want to let anyone down. Especially myself and our baby.”
Dillon touched her cheek and then leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips. “Never that, Lily. You won’t disappoint them or us. We couldn’t be prouder of you.”
She dove into his arms, wrapping herself around him to hug him tight. He curled his arms around her and held her just as tightly.
He smoothed her hair and then murmured close to her ear, “What do you say we go have the best Christmas Eve this family’s ever seen?”
C
HRISTMAS Eve was always a big event in the Colter household. Not that Christmas Day was completely overlooked, but Christmas Eve was full of excitement. It was when the family gathered, drank hot chocolate in front of the fire, and laughed and loved as they celebrated another year.
Christmas Day they would sleep in, eat breakfast in their pajamas, open presents, and then everyone would watch the Christmas parades and football until they ate a midafternoon Christmas dinner.
This Christmas Eve, just as the sun went down, bathing the fresh covering of snow in the first pale
shadows of dusk, the Colters and Wilders gathered at the Colter cabin.
Presents were piled around the tree and spilled onto the hearth. The living room was aglow with twinkling lights and the sounds of laughter and happiness.
Holly sat at the end of the couch, propped with pillows and fussed over endlessly by her husbands and children alike. Adam and Ryan disappeared frequently into the kitchen along with Dillon as they cooked the Christmas Eve feast.
And what a feast it was.
The table had been extended over the years, leaves added as the family grew in number. As they gathered at the table, Lily smiled a soft, secret smile, imagining her own addition to the Colter family who would arrive a few months down the road.
This was her child’s future. This family. This wonderful, loving group of people who had hearts as big as the Rocky Mountains.
She was going to be okay. Her child was going to be okay.
She could be happy. Fear uncoiled its tight grip around her heart and slid away, replaced by peace and overwhelming joy. And gratitude. For this second
chance—at love, at a life, to have another child to love and cherish.
She glanced at her husbands as they sat down, her heart swelling with love and excitement. This was her moment. Her time to shine. After so long in the shadows, afraid to step into the sun, she was ready to burst out, throw her arms wide, and turn her face up to the wonder of heaven and glory in God’s mercy and grace.
Dillon reached underneath the table to squeeze her hand. Then Seth reached for her other hand, his fingers laced tightly with hers. Across the table, Michael met her gaze and smiled, his eyes suspiciously bright. It was time.
Lily took in a deep breath to steady her nerves. It wasn’t that she had doubts—she didn’t. But she knew their news would concern her parents-in-law. They all knew of her past tragedy. They constantly surrounded her with love and unconditional support. She didn’t want them to worry that she’d fall apart. This family made her strong. With them behind her, she could do anything.