Colonel Fitzwilliam's Dilemma (17 page)

“I am very fond of her, but she will never believe I have anything other than the acquisition of Rosings in mind if I tell her so.” Asquith expelled a long breath. “She told me once she will never know if anyone really likes her for who she is, simply because of the material benefits that she holds within her gift. She looked so sad when she said it I felt very sorry for her.”

“Be that as it may, she knows she must marry soon to someone of her mother’s choosing.” Joshua grinned. “Someone like me. You have to be a better alternative. You make her happy, that much is very obvious.”

“Only if she can be made to believe I like her for herself, and how the devil am I supposed to convince her of that?”

“Well then, you have some work ahead of you.”

The two men shook hands at the door to the room and went their separate ways. Joshua was unsure what he had just set in motion, and where the repercussions might lead. All he knew was everyone, no matter what their circumstances, deserved a chance of happiness. If he could achieve that for his cousin by encouraging Asquith to think the unthinkable then so be it and the devil take the consequences.

Chapter Twelve

Painting huge areas of sheeting to resemble a garden was exhausting yet exhilarating work. Within half an hour, Anne had almost as much paint on her as she had managed to apply to the sheet, but she was enjoying herself too much to mind. She couldn’t remember the last time she had actually got dirty, or if she ever had. Games in the garden that normal children enjoyed had been denied to her because she was too frail, and chances could not be taken with her health. It never once occurred to her to question her mother when she insisted Anne had a sickly disposition. Mama always knew best.

When Sir Lewis had died and Mama showed no inclination to remarry, she made it clear Anne would be her heir because the de Bourghs did not discriminate against female succession. What she failed to mention was that Anne’s life would never be her own from that point onwards. The slightest sniffle might develop into influenza, and so Anne was required to take to her bed for a fortnight, just as a precaution. If she coughed the doctor was immediately summoned. If she cut herself it put the entire household into an uproar. Anne had become so accustomed to the fuss made of her that it became ordinary, and she began to assume all young ladies of consequence were similarly cossetted.

Being here at Pemberley with Georgiana and Kitty, Anne started to realise what she had missed all these years.

“You have paint on the end of your nose, Anne,” Georgiana said, laughing.

“We all have paint on our exposed parts,” Kitty pointed out. “It is fortunate these pinafores cover our gowns or they would be ruined.”

Georgina stood back to examine the rose garden she had just painted. “It looks more like a rambling jungle,” she said, screwing up her nose in disgust.

“Oh no, Georgie, it looks fine.” Kitty examined Georgiana’s efforts with a critical eye. “Don’t forget, Mr. Asquith explained when the sheets are lining the walls, they will look very different. Something about perspective, I think he said.”

“Dim lighting would better serve,” Georgiana replied, grimacing.

“Or else we will put on such a dazzling display of acting no one will notice the scenery,” Kitty suggested hopefully.

“Unfortunately, there is more chance of our scenery appearing realistic than of that happening.”

“When we put the scenery up in the music room, I think Mr. Asquith said something about having potted palms put in front of it,” Kitty remarked.

“Ah, so he anticipated our miserable efforts.” Georgiana flashed a rueful smile. “How very wise of him. How are your trees coming along, Anne?”

“About as well as your roses.” Anne stood up and stretched. “Where is Mr. Asquith, by the way? I thought he would be here to advise us.”

Anne noticed Georgiana and Kitty share an amused glance. “I think he was detained by Colonel Fitzwilliam,” Kitty said. “Don’t worry, Anne. He is devoted to you and I am sure he will not neglect you for long.”

Anne felt heat invade her face. “You misunderstand me. I simply wanted to ask him something about the trees.”

“Of course you did.”

“It’s all right,” Georgiana said. “We are only teasing you, even if we can’t help wondering what the two of you find to talk about when you are closeted together for so many hours at a time.”

“Literature,” Anne replied, causing both girls to burst out laughing. “It’s true,” Anne protested. “We both share a love of the written word, but I have had no one with whom to discuss what I read before now. If Mama knew how much time I secretly spend with my nose in a book, she would scold me for straining my eyes, but really, I cannot think of a better way to pass the long hours in each day. Escaping into a literary world is…well, my guilty secret.”

“That is so sad,” Georgiana said. “I am very glad you now have someone to share your…er, passion with, and we promise not to tease you about it anymore.”

“Thank you.” Anne actually giggled, something else which she couldn’t recall ever having done before. Mama did not approve of young ladies who giggled. Come to that, there were a lot of things Mama did not approve of.

“You are entirely welcome.” Georgiana smiled before turning her attention to Kitty. “Talking of passions, has Captain Turner said anything more about his duty visit to his father?”

“No, surprisingly little.” Kitty pouted. “All he said was that the meeting with his father had not gone well, and he would not be marrying the lady his father wishes him to.”

“That is a good thing, surely?” Anne couldn’t understand why Kitty seemed to glum. “It is obviously you he wants for his wife.”

“I wish I shared your optimism. He has not said a word, or done anything to suggest a preference.”

This time it was Georgiana and Anne who shared a laugh at Kitty’s expense.

“You goose,” Georgiana said affectionately. “The captain adores you. Whenever you are in the same room together, his gaze seldom leaves you.”

“You exaggerate.”

“Indeed, she does not,” Anne said. “Even I have noticed.”

“I think he does like me,” Kitty agreed modestly. “But he has never said a word about his feelings or tried to…well, anything.”

“I should hope not.” But Georgiana laughed as she said it. “My brother would skin him alive if he behaved inappropriately.”

“Besides,” Anne added. “You have not known one another for very long. This is only your second meeting, I understand.”

“Yes, but even so. If he was as sure of his feelings for me as I am of mine for him, then there would be no occasion for delay,” Kitty replied glumly. “I think there is something, some difficulty, he has not shared with me that is preventing him from declaring himself.”

“Give him time,” Georgiana said. “He has clearly had a falling out with his father. Even if he has independent means, I am sure he would wish to be on good terms with his family before admitting to his feelings.”

“Yes, I suppose you are right about that, Georgie. However, you must not think I don’t know your game.” Kitty shook a paint-stained finger beneath Georgiana’s nose. “You are deliberately turning the conversation towards mine and Anne’s aspirations in the hope we will not cross-question you about yours.”

“Is that what she is doing?” Anne asked, raising a brow in speculation.

“Undoubtedly.” Kitty grinned at Anne. “As though we didn’t both know she is madly in love with Major Halstead.”

“Then you are both wrong.” Georgiana sighed. “I like him very much and enjoy his society, but love…well, it is a very serious commitment. Besides, I don’t think my brother would allow me to become betrothed quite yet, even if the major declared himself.”

“What do you want, if not Major Halstead?” Anne asked.

“I want what my brother and Lizzy have,” she replied without hesitation. “Seldom have I seen more complete and absolute love. I envy them so much. You know, sometimes I can be in the same room as them but they are so completely involved with one another they don’t seem to realise I am there. Nothing persuades me I could feel that way about the major.”

“Yes,” Anne said. “I have noticed that about them. Even with a houseful of guests, they still seem to be totally absorbed with each another.”

“Lizzy didn’t feel that way at first,” Kitty said. “So perhaps your feelings for the major will change.”

“Oh, it is entirely possible. I am not saying he isn’t the man for me. I am just not as sure of my feelings as you two appear to be.”

The door opened to admit Mr. Asquith, bringing their intimate conversation to a close. Anne was pleased to have been included in it and to offer her advice, such as it was. She had never had the pleasure of another female to swap confidences with before. It had been illuminating even if she had little by way of personal experience to bring to the discussion.

“How are you progressing, ladies?” Mr. Asquith asked.

It was Georgiana who answered him. “Not terribly well, Mr. Asquith, as you can see. Sketching is one thing but painting on this scale is entirely another. I had not realised it would be quite so challenging.”

“Could we not just close the drapes in the music room and make do with them as a backdrop?” Kitty asked.

Mr. Asquith took a close look at their handiwork and nodded his approval, but Anne sensed he was distracted about something. She knew him so well she was sure he was not giving the matter in hand his complete attention. Whatever could he and the colonel have been discussing?

“You underestimate your abilities,” he replied. “From a distance, this will look very well indeed. Who is responsible for painting the sun dial?”

“That was me,” Anne admitted reluctantly. “I know it is too large. I got a little carried away. Unlike with sketching, it is impossible to start afresh if things go awry.”

Mr. Asquith turned towards her and offered her the benefit of a dazzling smile that pointedly excluded Georgiana and Kitty. “I beg to differ, Miss de Bourgh. I think it a very realistic touch, skilfully executed and not at all out of proportion.”

Anne blossomed beneath such lavish praise. She seemed unable to snatch her gaze away from Mr. Asquith’s even though there was no occasion to continue looking at him. “I am not sure about that. Besides, it was Kitty’s idea.”

“Well, I have had quite enough for one afternoon,” Georgiana said, putting aside her brush and unfastening her pinafore. “I had no idea painting scenery could be quite so exhausting.”

“No, nor I,” Kitty agreed, also abandoning her painting equipment. “Please excuse us, Mr. Asquith. I for one intend to idle the rest of the afternoon away. Oh, and study my lines, of course,” she added, giggling.

“As do I,” Georgiana said.

Mr. Asquith opened the door for the girls. Anne blushed when Kitty looked back over her shoulder and winked at her. It was clear they were not really tired. Anne had wondered about that. She was supposedly the weakest of the three and yet she felt full of energy and vigour. This was their clumsy attempt to leave Anne alone with Mr. Asquith. The silence hung heavily between them once the girls’ chattering voices had faded.

“Are you tired as well, Miss de Bourgh?” Mr. Asquith asked. “I have been working you all very hard.”

“Not in the least. Although I dare say Mama will come looking for me sooner or later and insist I rest before dinner.”

“What is it?” he asked softly, moving to stand closer to her. “You look very pensive.”

“Oh, take no notice of me. I was just thinking how much I have enjoyed my time here with Georgiana and Kitty. I have never had friends my own age before, you see. But I also can’t shake the feeling we are all marking time, waiting for something significant to happen.”

“You refer to Colonel Fitzwilliam perhaps.”

“Yes.” Anne twisted her hands together, wondering what could have possessed her to instigate this line of conversation. She had become accustomed over the years to keeping her thoughts and opinions to herself for fear of earning her mother’s disapproval. With Mr. Asquith she seemed to say whatever came into her head despite the fact he probably thought her immature and undeserving of her privileged position. “Mama warned me to expect an offer of marriage from the colonel while we were here and yet he has made no effort to single me out or speak to me alone.” She wrinkled her brow. “I don’t know what to make of that. Does he find me so unattractive he cannot make himself do it even though he would have Rosings to make up for his disappointment?”

Mr. Asquith looked very agitated, as though there was something he particularly wished to say to her. Or maybe he was simply embarrassed by her candour but couldn’t actually say so. After all, he was her mother’s employee.

“Take no notice of me,” she said, turning away from him. “I am not feeling myself today.”

“You are anxious to receive the colonel’s addresses after all?”

“You know I am not, but I
am
most anxious not to have an argument with Mama if he fails to ask me. She would probably say the fault is mine for not encouraging him.”

“The blame is definitely not yours.”

Anne shuddered. “Mama will not see things that way. I feel so much stronger nowadays but the prospect of arguing with her is enough to sap my energy and resolve.” She managed a droll smile. “I have always found it easier to do whatever Mama asks of me. Rosings is a much pleasanter place when Mama is in good humour.”

Mr. Asquith glanced out of the window. Anne followed the direction of his gaze, and saw the earlier rain had given way to patchy blue skies.

“We have been cooped up in here for two whole days,” he said. “Shall we take a walk together in the grounds?”

The suggestion was as surprising as it was welcome. “By all means. Give me a moment to fetch my bonnet and pelisse. Providing I can avoid Mama and her intrusive questions, I shall meet you in the vestibule in ten minutes.”

“Lady Catherine is in the conservatory writing a letter. You ought to be able to slip past her if you are quick.”

Mr. Asquith was right about that. Anne managed to reach her chamber, don her outdoor clothing, and run back down again without encountering her mother or her maid. She wondered why she felt the need for secrecy. There was nothing out of the ordinary about her walking with Mr. Asquith. They did it all the time at Rosings, even if they did take a servant with them. There was really no necessity for that but Mama would insist, or worse, inflict her company upon them and then dominate the conversation.