Collected Stories Of Arthur C. Clarke (116 page)

He saw what was wrong as soon as he entered the grounds. Uncle Homer (he wasn’t really an uncle, but he’d been called that as long as Harry could remember) had a shed beside the main building which he used for his experiments. That shed was now minus roof and windows, and a sickly odour hovered around it. There had obviously been an explosion, and Harry wondered, in a disinterested sort of way, if Uncle had been badly injured and wanted advice on drawing up a new will.

He ceased daydreaming when the old man, looking the picture of health (apart from some sticking plaster on his face) opened the door for him.

‘Good of you come so quickly,’ he boomed. He seemed genuinely pleased to see Harry. Then his face clouded over. ‘Fact is, my boy, I’m in a bit of a jam and I want you to help. My case comes up before the local Bench tomorrow.’

This was a considerable shock. Homer had been as law-abiding a citizen as any motorist in petrol-rationed Britain could be expected to be. And if it was the usual black-market business, Harry didn’t see how he could be expected to help.

‘Sorry to hear about this, Uncle. What’s the trouble?’

‘It’s a long story. Come into the library and we’ll talk it over.’

Homer Ferguson’s library occupied the entire west wing of the somewhat decrepit building. Harry believed that bats nested in the rafters, but he had never been able to prove it. When Homer had cleared a table by the simple expedient of tilting all the books off onto the floor, he whistled three times, a voice-operated relay tripped somewhere, and a gloomy Cornish voice drifted out of a concealed loud-speaker.

‘Yes, Mr Ferguson?’

‘Maida, send across a bottle of the new whisky.’

There was no reply except an audible sniff. But a moment later there came a creaking and clanking, and a couple of square feet of library shelving slid aside to reveal a conveyor belt.

‘I can’t get Maida to come into the library,’ complained Homer, lifting out a loaded tray. ‘She’s afraid of Boanerges, though he’s perfectly harmless.’

Harry found it hard not to feel some sympathy for the invisible Maida. All six feet of Boanerges was draped over the case holding the Encyclopaedia Britannica, and a bulge amidships indicated that he had dined recently.

‘What do you think of the whisky?’ asked Homer when Harry had sampled some and started to gasp for breath.

‘It’s – well, I don’t know what to say. It’s – phew – rather strong. I never thought—’

‘Oh, don’t take any notice of the label on the bottle.
This
brand never saw Scotland. And that’s what all the trouble’s about. I made it right here on the premises.’

‘Uncle!’

‘Yes, I know it’s against the law, and all that sort of nonsense. But you can’t get any good whisky these days – it all goes for export. It seemed to me that I was being patriotic making my own, so that there was more left over for the dollar drive. But the Excise people don’t see it that way.’

‘I think you’d better let me have the whole story,’ said Harry. He was gloomily sure that there was nothing he could do to get his uncle out of this scrape.

Homer had always been fond of the bottle, and wartime shortages had hit him badly. He was also, as has been hinted, disinclined to give away money, and for a long time he had resented the fact that he had to pay a tax of several hundred per cent on a bottle of whisky. When he couldn’t get his own supply any more, he had decided it was time to act.

The district he was living in probably had a good deal to do with his decision. For some centuries, the Customs and Excise had waged a never-ending battle with the Cornish fisherfolk. It was rumoured that the last incumbent of the old vicarage had possessed the finest cellar in the district next to that of the Bishop himself – and had never paid a penny in duty on it. So Uncle Homer merely felt he was carrying on an old and noble tradition.

There was little doubt, moreover, that the spirit of pure scientific enquiry also inspired him. He felt sure that this business about being aged in the wood for seven years was all rubbish, and was confident that he could do a better job with ultrasonics and ultraviolet rays.

The experiment went well for a few weeks. But late one evening there was one of those unfortunate accidents that will happen even in the best-conducted laboratories, and before Uncle knew what had happened, he was draped over a beam, while the grounds of the vicarage were littered with pieces of copper tubing.

Even then it would not have mattered much had not the local Home Guard been practising in the neighbourhood. As soon as they heard the explosion, they immediately went into action, Sten guns at the ready. Had the invasion started? If so, they’d soon fix it.

They were a little disappointed to discover that it was only Uncle, but as they were used to his experiments they weren’t in the least surprised at what had happened. Unfortunately for Uncle, the Lieutenant in charge of the squad happened to be the local exciseman, and the combined evidence of his nose and his eyes told him the story in a flash.

‘So tomorrow,’ said Uncle Homer, looking rather like a small boy who had been caught stealing candy, ‘I have to go up before the Bench, charged with possessing an illegal still.’

‘I should have thought,’ replied Harry, ‘that was a matter for the Assizes, not the local magistrates.’

‘We do things our own way here,’ answered Homer, with more than a touch of pride. Harry was soon to discover how true this was.

They got little sleep that night, as Homer outlined his defence, overcame Harry’s objections, and hastily assembled the apparatus he intended to produce in court.

‘A Bench like this,’ he explained, ‘is always impressed by experts. If we dared, I’d like to say you were someone from the War Office, but they could check up on that. So we’ll just tell them the truth – about our qualifications, that is.’

‘Thank you,’ said Harry. ‘And suppose my college finds out what I’m doing?’

‘Well, you won’t claim to be acting for anyone except yourself. The whole thing is a private venture.’

‘I’ll say it is,’ said Harry.

The next morning they loaded their gear into Homer’s ancient Austin, and drove into the village. The Bench was sitting in one of the classrooms of the local school, and Harry felt that time had rolled back a few years and he was about to have an unpleasant interview with his old headmaster.

‘We’re in luck,’ whispered Homer, as they were ushered into their cramped seats. ‘Major Fotheringham is in the Chair. He’s a good friend of mine.’

That would help a lot, Harry agreed. But there were two other justices on the bench as well, and one friend in court would hardly be sufficient. Eloquence, not influence, was the only thing that could save the day.

The courtroom was crowded, and Harry found it surprising that so many people had managed to get away from work long enough to watch the case. Then he realised the local interest that it would have aroused, in view of the fact that – in normal times, at least – smuggling was a major industry in these parts. He was not sure whether that would mean a sympathetic audience. The natives might well regard Homer’s form of private enterprise as unfair competition. On the other hand, they probably approved on general principles with anything that put the excisemen’s noses out of joint.

The charge was read by the Clerk of the Court, and the somewhat damning evidence produced. Pieces of copper tubing were solemnly inspected by the justices, each of whom in turn looked severely at Uncle Homer. Harry began to see his hypothetical inheritance becoming even more doubtful.

When the case for the prosecution was completed, Major Fotheringham turned to Homer.

‘This appears to be a serious matter, Mr Ferguson. I hope you have a satisfactory explanation.’

‘I have, your Honour,’ replied the defendant in a tone that practically reeked of injured innocence. It was amusing to see his Honour’s look of relief, and the momentary frown, quickly replaced by calm confidence, that passed across the face of H.M. Customs and Excise.

‘Do you wish to have a legal representative? I notice that you have not brought one with you.’

‘It won’t be necessary. The whole case is founded on such a trivial misunderstanding that it can be cleared up without complications like that. I don’t wish to incur the prosecution in unnecessary costs.’

This frontal onslaught brought a murmur from the body of the Court, and a flush to the cheeks of the Customs man. For the first time he began to look a little unsure of himself. If Ferguson thought the Crown would be paying costs, he must have a pretty good case. Of course, he might only be bluffing.

Homer waited until the mild stir had died away before creating a considerably greater one.

‘I have called a scientific expert to explain what happened at the Vicarage,’ he said. ‘And owing to the nature of the evidence, I must ask, for security reasons, that the rest of the proceedings be
in camera
.’

‘You want me to clear the Court?’ said the Chairman incredulously.

‘I am afraid so, sir. My colleague, Dr Purvis, feels that the fewer people concerned in this case, the better. When you have heard the evidence, I think you will agree with him. If I might say so, it is a great pity that it has already attracted so much publicity. I am afraid it may bring certain – ah – confidential matters to the wrong ears.’

Homer glared at the Customs officer, who fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat.

‘Oh, very well,’ said Major Fotheringham. ‘This is all very irregular, but we live in irregular times. Mr Clerk, clear the Court.’

After some grumbling and confusion, and an overruled protest from the prosecution, the order was carried out. Then, under the interested gaze of the dozen people left in the room, Harry Purvis uncovered the apparatus he had unloaded from the baby Austin. After his qualifications had been presented to the court, he took the witness stand.

‘I wish to explain, your Honour,’ he began, ‘that I have been engaged on explosives research, and that is why I happen to be acquainted with the defendant’s work.’ The opening part of this statement was perfectly true. It was about the last thing said that day that was.

‘You mean – bombs and so forth?’

‘Precisely, but on a fundamental level. We are always looking for new and better types of explosives, as you can imagine. Moreover, we in government research and the academic world are continually on the lookout for good ideas from outside sources. And quite recently, Unc – er, Mr Ferguson, wrote to us with a most interesting suggestion for a completely new type of explosive. The interesting thing about it was that it employed
nonexplosive
materials such as sugar, starch and so on.’

‘Eh?’ said the Chairman. ‘A non-explosive explosive? That’s impossible.’

Harry smiled sweetly.

‘I know, sir – that is one’s immediate reaction. But like most great ideas, this has the simplicity of genius. I am afraid, however, that I shall have to do a little explaining to make my point.’

The Bench looked very attentive, and also a little alarmed. Harry surmised that it had probably encountered expert witnesses before. He walked over to a table that had been set up in the middle of the courtroom, and which was now covered with flasks, piping, and bottles of liquids.

‘I hope, Dr Purvis,’ said the Chairman nervously, ‘that you’re not going to do anything dangerous.’

‘Of course not, sir. I merely wish to demonstrate some basic scientific principles. Once again, I wish to stress the importance of keeping this between these four walls.’ He paused solemnly and everyone looked duly impressed.

‘Mr Ferguson,’ he began, ‘is proposing to tap one of the fundamental forces of Nature. It is a force on which every living thing depends – a force, gentlemen, which keeps
you
alive even though you, may never have heard of it.’

He moved over to the table and took up his position beside the flasks and bottles.

‘Have you ever stopped to consider,’ he said, ‘how the sap manages to reach the highest leaf of a tall tree? It takes a lot of force to pump water a hundred – sometimes over three hundred – feet from the ground. Where does that force come from? I’ll show you with this practical example.

‘Here I have a strong container divided into two parts by a porous membrance. On one side of the membrane is pure water – on the other, a concentrated solution of sugar and other chemicals which I do not propose to specify. Under these condition, a pressure is set up, known as
osmotic
pressure. The pure water tries to pass through the membrane, as if to dilute the solution on the other side. I’ve now sealed the container, and you’ll notice the pressure gauge here on the right – see how the pointer’s going up. That’s osmotic pressure for you. This same force acts through the cell walls in our bodies, causing fluid movement. It drives the sap up the trunks of trees, from the roots to the topmost branches. It’s a universal force, and a powerful one. To Mr Ferguson must go the credit of first attempting to harness it.’

Harry paused impressively and looked round the court.

‘Mr Ferguson,’ he said, ‘was attempting to develop the Osmotic Bomb.’

It took some time for this to sink in. Then Major Fotheringham leaned forward and said in a hushed voice, ‘Are we to presume that he had succeeded in manufacturing this bomb, and that it exploded in his workshop?’