Read Collected Poems 1931-74 Online
Authors: Lawrence Durrell
Now that I have given all that I could bring
Slit the wide, silken tassel of the purse,
Scattered its myriad bounties to the Spring.
To the rich Autumn leaves:
                                     The crumbled dust
Of ancient adorations, murmurings,
And the dull story of some faded lust,
Will you remember it and, mother-wise
Thank me in these chill after-days
When I am empty-handed ⦠with your eyes?
1980/
1931
I built a house, far in a wilderness,
Against the arid ramparts of a sky,
Proof against occult art or wizardry:
Against my distant wanderings, comradeless.
I planted the straight, cool pine-trees all around,
And brimmed the garden with wild peony;
Here I kept silence, lived only to see
The magic in the trees, the friendly ground
Turn and put forth its tendrils of new life
Into the glowing grass: and here I dwelt,
No eloquent shadows that could break or melt
My great content;
                        Only a living strife
Calling me back from this core of desolation,
To seek an ultimate twilight in a life.
1980/
1931
Child, in the first few hours I lived with you,
Time beat the generous pulses of desire,
And churned the embers of a faded light to livid fever heat;
The fleeting moments laughed in mockery;
Fled with the light abruptness of a dream â¦
Time was asleep ⦠Night and the stars remained
The bitter emptiness of nothing gained,
The queer half-witted stagnancy of Love
Passed like a covert whisper in the night.
And yet, they say, beneath some other skies,
Grey in the dusk there'll be another one
Another with perhaps diviner eyes.
1980/
1931
(Amsterdam 1930)
I was a vagabond; sunset and moon
Found me a place in their hearts.
  Gladly I saw
The still, white summits of the friendly hills,
And snatched a wraith of sadness from the core
Of the deep sea, the unresisting earth:
Sang to the moon, and wove a melody
Deep in the strident archways of the sky;
Or felt the benediction of rebirth
That stirred strange anguish in this vagrant heart â¦
So there was silence in the wind that followed after,
Dim with a memory I'd left behind
Chilled into terror by the phantom of your laughter.
1980/
1931
We had a heritage that we have lost,
Ours was the whiteness and the godliness
Wings of the twilight; child-like we caress
The tawdry fragments of old dreams, embossed
With all the garishness of wandering minds,
Crazed and distraught; palsied with senile age.
The wisdom of a fool that seeks and finds
An emptiness, a gaunt penultimate stage
Before perfection! Reason fades and dies
Beneath the burden of such blasphemies;
Life is a loneliness, and heritage
A whispered mockery; yet first to go,
Killed by the fitful ravings of a sage
Was youth; youth has been dead a painted age ago â¦
Sometimes the gross pendulum of time
Is swung back an aeon;
                                 And I,
Bewilderingly wonder at my great foolishness
To leave you forever alone that night by a star swept sea,
With the laughter of the dark surf in your eyes â¦
Godless, and yet so very much a God.
1980/
1931
Oh! to blunder onto the glory of some white, majestic headland,
And to feel the clean wisdom of the curving sea,
And the dear mute calling of the wind
On the masked heels of the twilightâ¦.
Greying away to sundown, winding into the west;
And oh! heart of my heart to find
Dreams so oft forgotten, few fulfilled.
1980/
1931
The road is a sinister pathway paved with smoke,
A faint, white tremor; in the encircling trees
Grow the little whispers, oak to friendly oak,
Sentinels of the road.
                               Darker than these
Full in the shadow of the leaning elm
A restive horse pads on the level grass,
And counts the seconds; dark, immobile sits
The masked rider, gleaming oblique slits
For eyes, watching the timid minutes pass
On stealthy feet, hurrying the approach
Of time;
          Far out upon the curving road
Glitters, an unsuspecting prey, the Midnight Coach.â¦
1980/
1931
How can we find the substance of the lie;
Trace the huge source of deadlock, and complain
Of wealth denied, when we who paid the cost
Thwart our forbidden ends of destiny,
And mock our own wild laughter?
  We have lost
In the lithe whips of the soft, blinding rain,
More than a century of mingled hates â¦
More than these years of recompense forget:
Turbulence at a sleeping city's gates:
The pathos of a victim still, beset
By a reluctant Hector, finding light
In the huge heart-break of its shaken tears,
A width ⦠a tenderness ⦠some ultimate height
To stem the vanguard of to-day with years.
1980/
1931
Down the wide shadow-streets of the city,
  By the white marble steps
Where the quiet, soft-robed people
Crowd to the glamour of the music,
Deep between the pallid shadows of the houses,
And the white fantasy of the Moonlight
  Among the columns;
Through the glazed signature of the mists
  Across the great Dome,
Sped the lithe God, the tall Grecian youth,
  Dark of limb, and fleet,
With the ebony glitter of light in his hair,
  And his full, lustrous eyes
Dim with unbidden searching.
1980/
1931
Can you remember, oh so long ago,
How we wandered one twilight over the edge of the clouds
Over the pathway to the stars, and found
The cave â¦
The cave of the silver echoes,
And when I stood, breathless, and called your name,
It flung it back to me in little ripples
Of ecstatic, liquid sound.
Can you forget how you said mockingly,
Hand on my arm: âIf you have need of me
In some dim afterwards, when the gaunt years
Have brought no fuller harvest, greater recompense:
Or if in your poor loneliness you need my comfort,
Come one twilight under these vacant leagues,
These drowsy blue immensities of sky,
   And call my name,
And I will hear,' âAnd answer me,' laughed I.
1980/
1931
Sealed with the image of man grows the fungus,
Puffed to ripe unholy promise;
A vagueness unfulfilled lies in the venom.
Illimitable design
Weighed in a madman's hand
Who swings destruction in the huge scales.
The broad vision of a Xerxes turns and cries,
Seeing his Nubian mercenaries,
   The masked furies of a night,
Wreathe and twine into the tenebrous defiles,
A living snake of blindness â¦
And to hear that old, age-weary crying,
They are such dust before the wind.
1980/
1931
The quiet murmur shakes the shadowed wood,
And stirs the larches;
Startles the timid moorhen's fluffy brood
Where the fern arches,
Pregnant with sudden, wide-eyed loneliness.
It touches the rounded nipples of the hills
With amorous fingers:
The tender crying of the wood it stills
With a touch that lingers
Silent and magic on the placid air.
It threads its dainty way to your lone bed,
And largesse throws â¦
White, wrinkled leaves on your bowed head,
White as the snows
That coldly smile on youth and life and love.
1980/
1931
Last night I bowed before a destiny,
Deep in the night; bound with my huge grief,
Stooping beneath the desolation of my tears,
I climbed the forgotten pathway to the stars,
And knelt, half-man, half-child before our cave;
And the light fingers of the little winds
Touched my tired eyes and lips,
And the quaint fragrance of the clover â¦.
Stirred all the mournfulness of the old memories
And darkness was kind to me â¦.
When suddenly I cried in my great sorrow to the sky,
And heard your answer, growing quietly
Over the brimming silence of the deeps â¦.
So I gained comfort from one long-since dead.
1980/
1931
So we have come to evening ⦠graciously,
Through the bewildered churning of our dreams,
And found a day well spent; the candle-light
Gathers the living gloom, and wistfully
Cradles its arms about you as you sit â¦
Yet you who seek a flame, ponder and write
Bound by the hapless chatter of a quill.
While beauty grows and stirs about your chair,
Oh frail poet, under the candle-light â¦
1980/
1931
I who have lived in death, hemmed by the spears,
Born by grave victory, or by sore defeat,
Finding no vain or mercenary tears
In battle, lithe of body, fleet
To stem a wild, vainglorious afterflow,
I live that you may laugh, die that you may live;
Strew some rich largesse where the best may throw
Some broken toy, incalculably give
The widened harness of our peaceful years
Into your eager hands. I find no joy
In old wives' adoration, women's tears,
Or the reluctant praises of a boy,
⦠Being the faint shadow of a vanguard's wave,
I die
That you may live, and fear the life.
1980/
1931
To My Mother
Pity these lame and halting parodies
Of greater, better poems; from the dawn
And from the sunset I have fashioned them
From the white wonders of the seven seas;
And from the memories of hours forlorn
When I lived goodbyes, and crushed the stem
Of conscious sadness, pillaging the sap
Of tired youth.
Strange yearning that I've had
To climb the trough of some forgotten jest
Or cry, and lay a tired head on your lap;
Sing to the moon, or yet be silent lest
In deep woods I wake some sleeping dryadâ¦.
Partly because I'm writing this to you
Perhaps because I'm only human too,
I make excuse for each strange, hopeless song:
For all this unintelligible throng
Of words inadequate. I only plead
That I have lived them all these lonely few
And made them personal ⦠quaint offering
Each one some little magic that belongs to you.
1980/
1931
There is a great heart-break in an evening sea;
Remoteness in the sudden naked shafts
Of light that die, tremulous, quivering
Into cool ripples of blue and silver â¦
So it is with these songs:
                                   the ink has dried,
And found its own perpetual circuit here,
Cast its own net
Of little, formless mimicry around itself.
And you must turn away, smile â¦
                                                and forget.
1980/
1931
Seal up the treasury and bar the gate.
We have enough of wonders in our store
To sit awhile at evening and relate
Wonderingly, what we did not have before.
Here in the counting-house, while daylight speeds
Nearer to us and nearer, let us tell,
Soft-voiced, with reverence, as a monk tells beads,
All the possessions that we love so well;
And fear not. In the hour before the dawn,
When cressets tremble in the icy wind
That shumbles in the parched and sleepy corn,
These will be safe for other's hands to find.
These treasures that are hoarded in our trust
Others will touch with hands, but find them dust.
1980/
1932