Coletti Warlords: Just Desserts (12 page)

Ducking and dodging the sticky flying balls, I shouted,
“Dammit, stop it! This is not an invasion. All we’re doing is bringing Tae and Woo’s kids home. Take them, and we’ll leave.”

A web ball missed me by inches.
“Or I can kick your furry butts.”

Tae hopped in front of me.
“Stop! They are under my protection.”

A growly voice decreed,
“You know the law. Any humanoid who enters our lands dies.”

Six gigantic spiders dropped onto the deck. I gulped.
“Which one is your bossy prick of a mate?”

“The one with the black stripes,”
Tae answered.

He just had to be the biggest, meanest-looking one.
“Before you do anything stupid, Your Royal Stickiness, you should know we rescued Woo’s kids from a Kotsor nest and kept Tae from being eaten by Buddy, Fatso’s pet Kotsor.”

Tae hissed,
“Shut up.”

I flinched as Datlow’s telepathic rage at Tae slammed into my mind.
“You’re a month away from giving birth, and you allowed yourself to be captured by the fat one? Have you lost all sense?”

I gave myself a mental head smack. That did explain Tae’s bulging tummy.
“Why didn’t you tell me you are pregnant?”

“It wasn’t necessary,”
Tae snapped.

That hurt. I thought we were friends.

Datlow advanced on Tae.
“Do you not remember the first law?”

“I had no choice. You refused to send warriors to look for Woo and her children.”

“The first law states that all pregnant females must remain in their nests until the babies are hatched. Punishment is mandatory and must be carried out immediately.”

Oh, hell no. I shoved the laser rifle in his face.
“You lay a finger…uh…fang on Tae, and I will kill you.”

Splat!
Webbing yanked the rifle out of my hand. Before I could react, forty pounds of pissed-off Tabor slammed into my chest, knocking me flat. “Hey!”

Black fangs erupted from Datlow’s mouth as he went for my neck. I quickly jabbed him in the belly with my knife.
“Bite me, and I’ll gut you.”

“You dare to threaten me, female?”

Shit. He was as bad as Talree.
“Yeah, I do.”
I poked him with the knife.
“I won’t let you hurt Tae or my kids. Got it?”

“You think you can stop me?”
Goo splattered my right hand, gluing it to my left breast and effectively disabling me.

“Let her go,”
Tae shouted angrily.

“The female needs to be taught a lesson.”

A growl rumbled in Talree’s chest as he strained to free himself. “Use your fucking critter control.”

“Sorry. Wasn’t thinking.” And where was that language coming from?

“Obviously,” Talree snipped.

I reached out with my mind and commanded Datlow.
“Get off me.”

“No.”
Datlow scraped his fangs across my neck.
“I’m not feebleminded like your male.”

“Be careful who you insult. Talree’s a Coletti Warlord, and his dad’s the Overlord of the clan.”

“I do not fear them,”
Datlow countered.

I really hated alpha males.
“Talree can kill you with a thought.”

“If he could, I’d already be dead.”

Good point. “Why haven’t you killed him?”

“The beast is gaining control.” Stress lined Talree’s face.

Crap.
“Do you want Tae and the kids to die along with all your warriors?”

“That will not happen.”

Two of Datlow’s warriors crawled up Talree’s legs.

“Not hurt friends,”
the kids cried, attacking Datlow.

Datlow reared back in surprise and webbed them to the deck.

Tae jumped on my Talree’s head.
“Stop! This male killed fifty trappers.”

“You saw this?”
Datlow’s disbelief was obvious.

“You calling her a liar?”
I shoved the images of the bodies into his head.

Reluctantly, Datlow admitted,
“We did see the explosion.”

“Well, call me Skippy. Did you just admit you were wrong?”

Datlow ignored me.
“I will allow you to live.”

“You have our most humble gratitude, but if you hurt Tae, you’re one dead eight-legged freak.”

Talree surged into my mind.
“Stop antagonizing him, Kaylee. She’s his mate.”

“And I’m a cop. It’s my job to protect Tae from an abusive asshole.”

“Your mate needs to be taught the proper respect for males,”
Datlow stated.

“I have found that human females do not respond well to threats,”
Talree commented.

“Tabor females are the same. She is stubborn like my Tae.”
There was a touch of humor in Datlow’s voice.

“Very stubborn,”
Talree added with a long-suffering sigh.
“And she’s a warrior.”

“As is Tae. We should discuss training techniques.”

Tae hissed at Datlow, exposing her fangs.
“Try it.”

“Bring it on, buster, and you’ll be eating through a straw.”

Datlow creeped toward me.
“A temper too.”

That was when it hit me. He was laughing his ass off.

“What’s so damned funny?”

“I did not believe there could be another female like Tae.”

Talree nodded.
“The odds of them meeting are slim.”

“It’s fate,”
Tae and I said in unison.

I grunted when Datlow jumped on my chest.
“You’re making it kinda hard to breathe here.”

His emerald eyes stared down at me.
“If you ever point a weapon at me again, I will put you in the trees with the others. Do you understand?”

“Yes, and do you promise you won’t hurt Tae?”

“She broke our law.”

“For a good reason.”

Tae scurried over to us.
“Stop, Kaylee. I accept my punishment.”

“But—”

Datlow pounced on her, and they rolled around the deck.

I frowned. "
If I didn’t know better, I would think they were having sex."

Talree’s amused voice sounded in my head.
“They are.”

“Oh, and in public no less.”

“Their customs are not ours.”

“Thank God.”

Something long and shiny protruded from Datlow’s fur. Tae squealed a second later.

“Shot his wad kinda fast.”

Talree groused,
“Does that mouth ever stop?”

“Nope.”
I smiled at the kids as they busily nibbled at the webbing imprisoning me.

Datlow crawled off Tae, and I swear to God, he strutted across the deck.

I asked hopefully,
“Are you going to cut us free?”

His fur bristled.
“Your mate, yes. You? No.”

“God, you’re such a prick.”

“Kaylee,”
Talree snapped.

“What? It’s the truth.”

“Some time in the trees will correct your attitude,”
Datlow said pleasantly.

Crap. Was I the master at pissing people, critters, and monsters off, or what?
“Kids. In my hair. Now.”
They obediently skittered up my body and hid.

Splat!
A web ball nailed me. Before I could react, Datlow rolled me across the deck, and the next instant, I was hanging in a tree. Well, hell. That sucker was fast.

“You were warned,”
Talree said, not an ounce of sympathy in his voice.
“You must learn to respect other species’ customs.”

“Like you do when you conquer a world? Or take things that don’t belong to you?”

“We do what we must to ensure our survival.”

“What a load of crap.”

Datlow interjected,
“If you want a little peace and quiet, I can inject her with venom.”

“Har. Har.”
I broke the link with Talree and Datlow. Men were such jerks.

“We save you,”
the kids crowed, chewing through the webbing.

“What? Wait!”
I was suddenly falling. The kids chittered in alarm and leaped on a tree ornament.

“Help her!”
Tae shouted as her web missed me by inches.

I hit the water with a loud
splash
and sank into the muddy depths, still wrapped up in webbing

Down.

Down.

Down. I went.

The dark shape of a twenty-foot-long alien crocodile rose from the sludge. Great. I was Afula bait.

Talree roared in my head,
“What did you do, Kaylee?”

“Do? Like I purposely wrapped myself in webbing and decided to go for a swim? I need help, not a lecture!”
I shrieked mentally.

The damned Afula was closing fast. I reached out and grabbed its mind.
“Stop!”
I could sense its confusion and tightened my grip as the massive body slammed into me. The webbing stuck to its scaly hide, and I was abruptly riding it.
“Giddy up, Silver! C’mon, up! Up, we go.”

The croc obeyed, and we moved toward the surface.

My lungs began to burn, and I knew I couldn’t hold my breath much longer.
“Faster,”
I commanded. If I got out of this alive, I was kicking Datlow’s butt.

We erupted from the water, and I sucked in a lungful of air. Violent tremors shook me as I fought to keep from losing it.
“Talree?”

Grunting roars echoed around the swamp.

I gulped. It was like feeding time at the zoo. At least a dozen Afulas were zeroing in on me. “Talree,” I hollered, my panic growing.

“I’m here.”

My gaze darted around frantically.
“I don’t see you.”

Something hairy dropped down beside me, and I screamed like a little girl.

“You frighten easily, female,”
Datlow commented rudely and began gnawing through the webbing.

“Gee, I wonder why? I was only ten seconds away from drowning. Not to mention, I’m riding a fucking Afula who wants to gobble me up. And the croc’s friends think I’d make a tasty snack too. So excuse the hell out of me if I’m a bit upset!”

A red, incandescent laser beam sizzled by my right leg. It struck a huge crocodile, vaporizing its head.

I watched in horror as the other Afulas started tearing huge chunks out of it.
“Can’t you chew any faster?”

“Be quiet,”
Datlow snarled.

“If you hadn’t put me in the tree, we wouldn’t be seconds away from dying horribly.”

The monster beneath me thrashed wildly, trying to dislodge me. I tightened my grip on his mind.
“Stop.”

It quivered but obeyed.

The webbing gave way, and I slid to the left, still wrapped up like a Christmas present. A ball of webbing zapped me. Up I flew.

“A little warning would be nice,”
I shouted. A second later, another web struck me and swung me through the air.

Splat!
Webbing caught my dangling feet, and I bobbed over the swamp. Massive jaws shot from the water.

Why did I feel like a piñata?
“For God’s sake, get me out of here.”

A laser bolt struck the gator. The Afula fell back with a tremendous splash, and its buddies attacked like a school of hungry piranhas.

Datlow crawled over me.
“You’re one noisy female.”

“And you’re one dead freak.”

“Am I?”
He cut through the webbing, and I fell. Again.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I waited to die. Instead of landing in the water, a familiar pair of arms caught me.

Talree wiped the muck off my face. “How can one small female cause so much trouble?”

“Shit magnet.” I sniffed, fighting back tears. I had reached my limit. I wanted, needed my family. “Please, take me home.”

“Not an option,” Talree retorted and carried me inside the barge.

Chapter Eleven

God, it was hot. And why was I covered with a blanket? I tried to kick it off.

The furry blanket chittered in irritation.

Huh? I opened my eyes and bolted upright. “Holy shit!” There were spiders everywhere. The bed, the barge walls, and a couple were even clinging to my naked body. I smacked frantically at them.
“Get off. Get off! Oh my God, get the hell off me. And what happened to my clothes?”

“Relax, they’re our guards, and you couldn’t sleep in your filthy overall,”
Tae said sleepily. The kids were snuggled on her back.

“Guards? Why do we need guards?”

“Our bossy pricks decided it wasn’t safe to leave us alone while they scout the area.”

I drew an angry breath. Talree just took off and left me here? If the Master of the Universe pulled this crap again, he’d be singing soprano.
“I’m surprised they didn’t try to kill each other.”

“They found they had much in common.”

“Killing the trappers probably didn’t hurt either.”

“Datlow was quite impressed with Talree’s ability to kill.”

What could I say? “He’s a Warlord”? That was when I noticed our guards were giving me the evil eye.
“What? Is a naked human female too much for your delicate senses? If so, leave!”

The freaks continued to stare at me.

“Get the hell out!”

They didn’t move an inch.

I pushed at the spiders crouched on my thighs. They wouldn’t budge.
“Look, you hairy little creeps, I’m hungry and I need to pee. Get the hell off me.”

“Let her up,”
Tae ordered.

The Tabors reluctantly crawled up the walls.

All those eyes on me made my skin itch. I rushed into the tiny bathroom. The sooner I got off this hellhole, the happier I would be.

Rubbing my gritty eyes, I perched on the edge of the funky square toilet and hissed when something scurried across my foot. Wonderful. Every one of the freaks had followed me.
“Aw, c’mon. Can’t a girl have some privacy?”

A warrior with streaks of gray in his fur crawled up the wall until he could look me in the eye.
“If we leave you alone and unguarded, your mate will kill us. If he does not, Datlow will.”

“Fine. Whatever.”
Another bossy prick to deal with. My bladder was about to burst. I would pretend like they weren’t there. A Tabor sat on my foot. Yeah, that so wasn't going to work.