Coffin Fit (The Grateful Undead series Book 4) (19 page)

Antoinette spoke swiftly. "My brother is right. Immediately after this meeting I'll leave for the Miami compound. I have offered my assistance since the creature has pursued me for over five-hundred years. The rest of you will sit tight. You're each a token away after being summoned."

Marcus cleared his throat. "I would not allow my sister to go if she were not under the protection of the BAMVC compound until a rock solid plan is devised."

Dorius said, "The team leader has been instructed to advise the group going Down Under to make contact with a doppelganger I have a history with, through a bartender in Purgatory. Hopefully, someone in the bar can accomplish this and we can set up the meet."

"When this happens," Antoinette said, "I will be ready to entice the creature into the open."

"Not without a bodyguard," Camillo, Antoinette's mate, said.

Antoinette patted Camillo's hand. "Not without Dorius's Otherworld friend and both teams close by." She nodded at the wolves representing the pack in front of the council.

"You will not be out of my second sight," the immortal said and took his mate's hand.

"No one will rush the creature, or attempt to destroy or otherwise engage it," Dorius said. "That my acquaintance is willing to contact the rest of the elders is the most we can hope for. Hopefully, they will agree to form a team to take down the evasive doppelganger. It is a threat to the Otherworld's secrecy."

"The worst scenario," Karl said, "would be our inability to find a doppelganger who would listen to our plight. They are not found if they do not wish to be located."

When the vampire council member at the end of the table rose and raised a palm, the room was drawn to silence. The immortal lowered his palm and locked his fingers together in front of the black hooded cape he was wearing. There was no color to the immortal anywhere that could be seen—black eyes surrounded by white skin.

But when the vampire opened his mouth to speak, the pink color inside created a surreal effect. "Gibbie The Key, a fairy descended from Air, born of the Harris Chain Clan, accompanied by Jake Blu Lopez, the
Draco
Americanus Lat
, born of the
Blu Lpozane
Clan will meet with the doppelganger Dorius has befriended," the council member said. "Together, they will discuss how to present the demise of the creature who has offended our kind. None of you will leave until the day of reckoning, because not one of you can destroy anything but yourselves in trying to stop it."

The rest of the immortal council rose in unison, and chanted, "
Cosi si dice, cosi sara
."

As they exited the room, Dorius turned to Marcus as his brother repeated the council's words. "So it is said, so it shall be."

~~~

Seventeen

~~~

"Are you sure you told Gibbie to meet us here at eleven o'clock?" I asked Jake.

Lily and Christopher were sitting in the dark on a small patch of grass near a cement curb. A storm drain gurgled beneath a metal grate under their feet. Jake was pacing in front of a large scrub oak behind them. Spanish moss hung from outreaching branches and swayed in a soft breeze.

We were far enough behind the
Leesburg Mall
to go unnoticed, while still able to see the back of the buildings. The massive parking lot on the front-side of the mall had been vacant, but on this side, the food-court entrance was unlocked to accommodate after-mall-hours movie goers. The parking lot was scattered with vehicles and stray pedestrians hanging out under the glow of pole lamps or loitering just inside the food court doors, probably making pickups or waiting for the next showing.

"Yes, I told him exactly where we would be and what time we would be waiting," Jake said. A small tendril of smoke, barely noticeable in the moonlight, floated above his head.

"He left the house at least an hour ago to meet with Ajax," Christopher said. "I hope they didn't get into an argument. Gibbie was hell-bent on letting the fairy know he's in charge."

"Swell," I groused, "All we need is a fairy war before we even get started on the mission."

I felt a gentle, mental-poke from Marcus, but ignored it. I'd been blocking him all night, just like Betty was supposed to be doing with Dorius.

I recognized the undeniable sway of Betty's hips, her annoying chuckle, and Gibbie's irritating cackle as she sauntered out of the shadows beside a dark department store on the north side of the mall.

As she headed our way, Christopher said, "Well, it's about time. Lily and I have shit to do tomorrow before she heads back to Hell."

"What kind of shit?" I asked.

"Do I ask you everything you and Marcus do when you're
not
in my face?"

Before I could answer, Lily said, "Don't worry, Aunty Susan. I am well aware you are unable, like the rest of your kin, to observe us during daylight hours at the moment. Let me assure you, anything we do will be helpful to our cause, not a hindrance that would obstruct the end results everyone is hoping for."

Every time the kid talked I felt lesser than. "Whatever you do had better be done from the living room of our house. Got it?" I tightened my lips and my eyes.

"I can assure you, Aunty, we will not be going anywhere near the Abyss if that is your concern."

The damn kid talked in circles. Why did I think I was missing something? It was always about loopholes when dealing with demons.

"I'll be making a thorough list, very detailed with 'not to do's', and I expect you to read it and sign it . . . in blood."

"Now that's just lame," Christopher said. "She'll use a magic marker. That way it'll outlive you."

"Christopher," I challenged," I want it signed-"

"I promise I will personally do so," Lily said, and swiftly welcomed Betty. "Hello, Elizabeth, I hope your mate is unable to see you tonight.

"Hi, guys," Gibbie said. He was propped on Betty's shoulder, hanging onto a lock of her blond hair.

Betty chuckled. "He's as angry as a raccoon cornered in a Dempsey Dumpster, but he ain't seein' shit tonight."

I didn't even want to ask when she went dumpster coon-hunting. I had a terrible experience with a cornered porcupine and a Dempsey—never again.

"I am always amused by your extremely colorful linguistic foray, Elizabeth," Lily said. "On the internet, it's called southern street slang, also referenced as redneck drawl, by means of which you are definitely well gifted. I am continually entertained by what flows from your cerebral hemisphere on the left side of the corpus callosum and transmits to kitschy dialogue."

That little bit of smart-assedness shot the hell out of a further discussion about what shit Christopher and Lily were up to after the sun comes up. I made a mental note to tell Jeni, Paul, and anyone else that would listen, to keep an eye out for them.

Gibbie's chest was puffed out like a blowfish. His eyes twinkled, and his cheeks were glowing when he took charge of the conversation. "I got the scoop from Ajax. The fairy was actually courteous—came up to me wearing his red bandana, sword snapped into his scabbard, and a genuine smile on his face. Dorius must've set him straight on who's in charge. I mean, holy happily-ever-after, it was all 'yes sirs, anything else I can do for you' kinda business."

"That's great," I said, keeping an eye on Chucky and his demon bride sitting above the storm drain.

"Yeah, it sure was a relief. Now we can get down to business," Gibbie squawked, and flew from Betty's shoulder to Jake's. "You ready to head Down Under, buddy. The doppelganger Dorius wants us to meet is supposedly going to be at Purgatory tonight."

The fairy pulled out two red disks that looked like poker chips. "Here's your token," he said to Jake. "Just wish to be standing in front of Purgatory. I'll meet you there."

Jake closed his eyes, mumbled something, and he was gone—completely gone.

"Wow!" I said. "Where do we get those?"

Gibbie giggled. "You don't, per Dorius
and
Marcus." The fairy tightened his lips and made like he was turning a key to lock them. "Mum's the word."

Before I could object, he was gone, too. It was like heat evaporating off hot pavement.

"What the hell?" I glared at Christopher. "You're supposed to be my partner, my maker, my-"

Christopher snickered. "It's a good thing I got your back." He reached into his cargo shorts and pulled out a purple drawstring pouch. When he bounced it in his hand, I could hear the clicking of chips.

"Where'd you get those," I spat, "and why the hell haven't you told me about them until now?"

"Down Under is no place for a human," Christopher said. "And before you tell me you're a vampire witch and you should be allowed passage to our underworld, let me remind you that all of the women in your family still think like a human."

"And you don't?" was all I could say.

* * *

Marcus and Dorius were sitting alone in the formal lounge after Karl took his team out to hunt in the woods around the castle. Dorius had just dismissed a young man after supping in Marcus's presence.

Seraph vampires were unable to drink processed blood and had difficulty feeding without killing the food source. Up until the young man, Dorius had been drinking blood from milked humans.

"Was that more satisfying than the cup?" Marcus asked as he watched Doris dab a linen napkin on his bloody lips.

"Some, but not as gratifying as sexual interaction while drinking," Dorius said. "I selected a male, knowing it would be easier to tolerate. I prefer women."

"You seemed to do well," Marcus said, and took a sip from a crystal glass filled with type O positive.

"I'm in the house of our fathers," Dorius flippantly reminded his brother. "And I am distracted. My mate has blocked me for more than an hour for the first time in our relationship."

"Susan's doing the same," Marcus said. "What was the last thing you observed?"

"Lilith, belittling my mate's mentality with acute aptitude and an amusing perspective," Dorius said, "and you?"

"Much of the same, but Lily had firmly and quite shrewdly enlightened Christopher of consequences should he take it upon himself to attempt to kill the doppelganger. She was surprisingly explicit on the uselessness of the endeavor, and frighteningly graphic on the grave mishaps should the doppelganger double up on Christopher during the attempt. Our little Lily calmly scared the hell out of my mate and your antagonist with her mention of the skills it could absorb from Christopher and
her
as his mate to use against the team."

Dorius smiled. "Maybe Lily accomplished the visit without help from either of them for that very reason." With a chuckle, Dorius continued. "I don't give the child enough respect. I should entertain using her skills to bring the Stech clan up to some level of effectiveness."

"Christopher will soon be up to par," Marcus taunted.

Dorius rumbled deep in his chest as he rose. "Let's go see our sister off. And then I will contact Chick to be sure the team has proceeded according to plan."

"I spoke with Paul," Marcus said as he stood. "He's keeping an eye out for me."

"So is Ajax," Dorius concluded.

Marcus's brows lifted. "Are you purposely attempting to vex a simmering conflict?"

"Not in the least," Dorius said. "I've asked Ajax to guard Antoinette without her knowledge while Gibbie is significantly engaged elsewhere. The fairies have the gift of cloaking with glamor. The doppelganger would be unable to see them, or the rest of the team, should Gibbie or Ajax need to cloak any of them, including my mate and yours."

Marcus laughed. "Admit it, brother, you live to rouse animosity."

"I do not
live
to do anything," Dorius said. "
You,
brother, have been around human mentality too long."

* * *

"One coin to get there. One to get back," Christopher said and undid the drawstring on the purple pouch.

"I don't even know where Purgatory is," I said. As much as I was jaking to use one of those token thingies I wasn't really into pissing Dorius off again. Plus, the world below the sewer was full of God-knows-what. "And we are so not supposed to be going Down Under, remember?"

"It will be fine, Aunt Susan. Christopher knows his limitations and I will be there to reinforce them should he have a memory lapse."

Lily looked so sweet and innocent, lips slightly upturned, hands folded in her lap. She was wearing a pink tee with a blue-eyed bunny embroidered on the front, bleached out jeans with pink lace edging, and sequined tennis shoes.

"I've never been to Purgatory. How can I imagine its location in my head?" I said—lame excuse. Everyone knew we were going in.

"You do not have to know a Down Under location; simply say the name of the establishment in your mind and you will be there if the coin is enclosed in your right palm." She glanced at Betty. "Your coin will need to be in your left hand, Elizabeth. You are left-handed, correct? You need not speak, just nod your head."

I sucked in the inside corners of my lips, bit down, and held back a burble of laughter.

Finger waggling, Betty said, "I'm just a tad bit offended by y'alls uppity attitude, young'un. So what say you find you some respect in the form of old-fashioned good manners for your elders?" Betty snatched the two coins from Christopher.

Christopher split his lips in a toothy smile.

"If by
uppity
,
Elizabeth
, you mean I accept my superiority to you, that is correct. The fact that you are only speaking to me, singularly, while using the debauched term 'you all is' which, in its self , is, at the very least, an exploitation of the English language and makes my presumptuousness palpable." Lily paused while she watched Christopher hand me two red tokens. "And at this moment,
Elizabeth
, I feel a need to remind you that you are not my hoarier."

"What the hell? How about I wash your mouth with soap if you think you can call an adult—namely my ass—a ho, missy!"

Lily sighed. "So many gaffes with so little time for tutoring.
Elizabeth
, you tire me. I, likewise, find you sporadically unstable, therefore untrustworthy, and, well, undeserving. But not to worry; it is not your fault. And I will supervise you—out of respect for your mate—for example, like a mother does a toddler to keep you from harm's way."

Christopher and I turned from Lily to Betty, our mouths clamped shut. There was no way in Hades I was getting into this. I was gonna stand back until the dust settled.

"Young'un, you need to feel the smack of leather on your backside," Betty growled. "Keep it up and I will be glad,
for example
, like a mother does her bratty kid, to throw you over my knees and paddle the shit outta ya—show you right proper what respectin' your elders is all about."

I moved back two steps as I turned back to Lily. I noticed Christopher's teeth were showing again.

"How archaic," Lily said, and tsked before going on. "When will humanity learn brute force does not yield desired results in what humans believe is an uncontrollable situation? Education, patience, and dedication to enlightenment ensure fewer calamities which many of you horribly lack."

Betty growled and leapt at Lily.

I gasped.

Christopher didn't even blink.

Lily raised her fist and Betty flew twenty feet into the air tethered to a bolt of red lightning attached to the little demon's palm.