Coconut Cowboy (27 page)
Authors: Tim Dorsey
“Creative writing, right?” said Matt.
“But you submitted a thesis.”
“Exactly,” said Matt. “It's a novella in the structure of a college paper. I don't think it's been done before.”
The professor handed the paper back. “Too over-Âthe-Âtop. Even as fiction, nobody would ever believe Florida is this weird.”
Matt sighed and tried to imagine what Serge and Coleman were up to . . .
A
chopper with a sidecar rumbled south down U.S. Highway 1 from Miami to Homestead.
Sign-Âspinner alley. Batman, Spider-ÂMan, purple dinosaur, Gumby. C
ASH FOR
G
OLD,
W
E
B
UY
H
OMES
. . . Female mannequins featuring breasts were beginning to replace some of the regular spinners because they attracted more attention and required no hourly wage.
“Radio check,” said Coleman. “Look at that next spinning sign. It's for another one of those healthy fast-Âfood places like we were at a few days ago.”
“I'm way ahead of you,” said Serge, angling the motorcycle into the drive-Âthrough lane.
Moments later, the chopper with a coconut gas tank pulled back onto the highway. Up at the corner, two gorillas shoved a blond mannequin into traffic in front of a city bus. Serge swerved around a plastic head rolling through the intersection as he and Coleman happily munched corn dogs.
“ . . . Born to be wild! . . .”
“Radio check,” said Coleman, mustard streaking back across his cheeks in the wind. “These things are pretty delicious for being healthy. I guess there's no possible way to get a bad corn dog.”
“You're absolutely right,” Serge said as they thundered off into the sunset. “Corn dogs are like blow jobs. If you complain about one,
you're
the problem.”
Â
Tim Dorsey was a reporter and editor for the
Tampa Tribune
from 1987 to 1999, and is the author of eighteen previous novels:
Shark Skin Suite, Tiger Shrimp Tango, The Riptide Ultra-ÂGlide, Pineapple Grenade,
When Elves Attack, Electric Barracuda, Gator A-ÂGo-ÂGo, Nuclear Jellyfish, Atomic Lobster, Hurricane Punch, The Big Bamboo, Torpedo Juice, Cadillac Beach, The Stingray Shuffle, Triggerfish Twist, Orange Crush, Hammerhead Ranch Motel,
and
Florida Roadkill
. He lives in Tampa, Florida.
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This book is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogue are drawn from the author's imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
COCONUT COWBOY.
Copyright © 2016 by Tim Dorsey. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
FIRST EDITION
ISBN 978-Â0-Â06-Â224004-Â0
EPub Edition JANUARY 2016 ISBN: 9780062240064
16 17 18 19 20
OV/RRD
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