Cocky F@#ker (Tangled Desires #3) (17 page)

“Sorry, brother, but I’m not going anywhere.” Rush grins, lifting his cup. “Except to get more coffee.”

Then he turns and stalks away from us.

“Listen.” I turn to Mace. “There’s nothing between me and your brother, but we do need to talk. All three of us.”

“I know.” He glowers, but then his gaze softens and he scrapes a thumb along my jaw.

Down the hall, a door opens and shuts, and voices fill the somewhat silent moment between us. I can hear his mother, Mona, talking to her eldest child about Tommy. I hear their father say that Gem left, and my chest tightens. Was it because of me? It had to be. All these secrets we’ve kept, I’ve kept, have been one bad decision after another.

“Just as soon as we can get a moment of goddamn peace around here.” Mace pulls away. “Because what I have to say to Rush isn’t for the collective ears of my family.”

And although I want to grasp his hand, to keep him touching me, I don’t. It’s better if we keep this from everyone a little while longer. Just until Rush and I tell him the truth about us, and I tell him about his kid.

Mace

Fuck this. I grab a beer out of the fridge and make my way out to the deck. This morning hasn’t exactly gone to plan, but then nothing does, does it? I mean who in their right mind would have ever thought I’d move back to Reverence, try my hand at the civilian lifestyle, fall in love with the same girl who I’ve tried to walk away from again and again?

And knock her up. I can’t forget that part. The fact that she’s carrying my spawn.

I rip the lid off the beer and take a long hard draw on the neck of the bottle. I probably shouldn’t be drinking this early in the day while my entire family is inside, but Tommy’s in a foul mood, and it isn’t just because of the pain from my shooting him. I could probably handle it if he would center his agitation on me, but he’s taking it out on everybody, especially Chelsea, and I’m not sure why. Although I could hazard a guess, which pisses me off because I really don’t want to be the last person Chelsea feels comfortable coming to about our little situation. Still, she isn’t to blame for Gem’s frantic escape without getting the full scope of the story and that’s irritating the hell out me, making me want to say a few choice words to him. But I can’t, not yet.

Leaning against the railing, I ignore the buzz of conversation from the kitchen. Claire, Razer, and our parents taking a break from Tom’s skulking, no doubt. The kettle whistles, indicating someone’s making tea. It doesn’t help my mood either, that every time I look at Chelsea, Rush is two steps behind her. I swear he’s doing it just to get at me, but all I can think is how there’s no way in hell I could handle it if he got between me and her again. I’m not going to be able to let go this time, not going to be able to walk away, which means I’d choose her over him if it came down to it.

But then, haven’t I already? From the night in the barn until now. She’s been mine, and he’s been the brother I can do without. Except I don’t want it to be one or the other. I scratch at my chest, to ease the dull ache as I remember how close we were before her. It used to be so fucking easy. Now, I don’t know how to reconcile the damage.

“There you are,” Chelsea says, stepping out behind me. The back door clicks shut as she treads toward me.

I turn and brace my elbows on the railing. “I needed some fresh air.”

“Yeah.” She twists her palms together, staring down at them.

I narrow my gaze on her. She’s nervous, hesitant to breach the distance though I’m not sure why. It gives me a little jolt, a slight sense of panic that I brush aside. If she doesn’t want to come to me, I’ll go to her.

“Everything okay?” Crossing the deck, I tug her against me. I feel her exhale as she lets go.

Her hands press against my chest, not pushing away, not pulling me closer either. “Can we talk now? You, me, your brother?” “I want to clear the air between you and Rush. There are things that need to be dealt with.”

The sooner the better.
Although a part of me would prefer to let the past fester and die without ever discussing the fact my brother told me he slept with my wife. Lie or not, he went too far, and I’m not sure how to deal with that other than by ignoring it.

“You can always talk to me.” I bend closer, dragging her scent into my lungs. Probably not such a good idea as it has the same effect it always does, and there’s no way I can get her more alone than we are right now with a house full of people.

“Whatever you need to tell me.” I tip her chin up, until our gazes lock. Everything is crazy right now. Anybody could burst into our conversation at any moment. And we need time to hash it all out, not just a moment to drop the bomb between us, but all I want is to hear our secrets from her lips. I’ll deal with the rest, we’ll deal with it together. “You can tell me.”

Her eyes widen a little, for a fraction of a second. Her throat works as she gulps. “There is something. I didn’t know how to tell you. I’m, we’re—”

“Are you ready to fight for the girl?” Rush jogs up the steps, as if he’s been out in the yard the whole time. Sneaky bastard.

Reluctantly, I let her go. “Fight you? Is that what you mean?”

“Well, no doubt, she’d be better off with me, don’t you think? I could give her a life you never could.” He ignores me, focusing on her as he gets to us. His hand snakes out to scrape some of her hair away from her face, and I fight the urge to knock it away.

“Stop it, Rush.” She takes a step back, and I shift slightly in front of her, blocking him.

All that does is make him grin wider. “Just stating the truth now, beautiful.”

“Can’t you be serious for one second?” There’s a hard edge to her voice, but it’s pretty clear to me that my brother isn’t ready or willing to drop the shenanigans so there’s no point in having this conversation.

That doesn’t mean I’m not going to tell him a few home truths. I step forward, getting in his face. Clenching and unclenching my hands, but keeping them by my sides. I don’t need to lose my shit no matter how frustrated I already am, without adding his unwelcome flirting with my girl. “Never could take a hint could you?”

“What’s that? Because your hint as you call it is so subtle as to be non-existent?”

I meet his steady gaze head on. “Keep flirting with her then, brother, but at the end of the day when we throw down, I can promise you, you’ll be the one leaving. I’m not going anywhere.”

Turning away from him, I drop my mouth to her ear. Not being able to show my feelings for her in front of everyone is killing me. It’s going to be soon, though. Because I’m tired of hiding for everyone else’s sake. “Whatever it is, you can tell me, but I’m not going to stand here and let him push my buttons while he’s doing his damndest to be all over you. I’ll talk to the bastard when he starts acting like my fucking brother.”

With a quick drop of her chin and the slight flutter of her fingers on my bicep, I leave her to head back into the crazy house. I have a missing girl to find so my youngest brother can sort out his shit and stop being a grumpy asshole. And then?

And then the shit’s going to hit the fan again no doubt, because I’m done pussy-footing around what Chelsea and I are.

Chelsea

I’m alone, sitting on the steps of Tom’s deck, soaking up the sun after the last few gray autumn days. I’m pretty sure I just heard Tom propose to Gem, and for the first time in my life I didn’t feel like I belonged. So I’m waiting for them all to disband before I find Mace.

The last week and a half has been the longest of my life, and I thought the eleven before were torture. Whoever thought convincing Rush to come home was a good idea was a complete moron. Okay, so yeah, it was my idea, and still there’s a good reason for it, but he’s been doing his damndest to get under Mace’s skin. Constantly at my side, flirting with me whenever Mace is around. It’s doing my head in, and I told him to stop. I’m not interested in anyone flirting with me but Mace. But he gets some kind of perverse pleasure from riling his brother up.

Not that I’ve seen much of Mace since the day I tried to get the two of them to finally talk out what happened between the three of us. Maybe I didn’t say the right words that last night we spent together, because the three of us in the same room is still a recipe for disaster. I should have told him I loved him. I should have told him so many things, but the timing with us has always seemed to be off. And now he’s keeping his distance, because Rush is still in town.

He’s either been at work, tying up loose ends from the night of the engagement, or pandering to Tommy. I don’t blame him for spending time with his brother. It’s not every day you shoot a family member, and he feels guilty about it. Especially since he never told them what brought him home.

Besides, I’ve been avoiding Tommy, spending as little time as possible at his place since he found out about Mace and I. Gem left because of me, and watching him prowl around—or hop around those few days, since he was on crutches—before she came back made my heart hurt for him. I don’t even know if he’s going to forgive me, and there are still more secrets to tell, but I feel better that he knows. It’s one step closer to bringing it all out in the open.

Once I tell Mace that we’re having a baby.

Whichever way he takes it, I can’t keep it from him anymore. I shouldn’t have kept it from him as long as I did. It’s terrifying to think he may want nothing to do with me, with it, or that I’ll spend the rest of my life sharing this slice of my heart and not be able to give him the whole thing.

Because it’s his. My heart. Always has been. I doubt anything can change that now.

“Walk with me, beautiful?” Rush moves silently down the stairs beside me. I don’t know how he does that. He just sort of appears in places as if by magic, which I suppose is fitting considering he’s one of the most famous magicians in the world.

“I think maybe I’ll go inside.” I hold onto the railing and pull myself up. I don’t think I can handle another flirtation when I’ve finally gotten the balls to tell Mace everything.

“No. I think you’ll walk, and we’ll talk. I’m leaving this evening. Got the jet ready to take me to Australia for my tour there, so it’s now or never, Chels’.”

So I follow him, his long legs eating up the ground much faster than mine, until we are hidden by the trees at the back of the property.

“Can I assume he doesn’t know you’re pregnant?” Rush leans against one of the thick trunks, getting this conversation started before I have time to. Which is good, because God knows I couldn’t work out what to say.

“What? No, not yet,” I mumble. “How did you know?”

When I’d asked him to come home, I hadn’t told him about the baby, only that it was time to put the past to rest. Whether Mace can get past the idea of being a daddy, or I have to do this alone, it’s time.

“Hate to tell you, but it’s pretty obvious, Chels’.” He pushes away from the tree and takes my hand, tucking it into his elbow as we move further down the yard. “I think you’d have to be pretty bad at math not to be able to make an educated guess.” He waves his hand and pulls a flower out of thin air before handing it to me. “You call me at the same time Tommy ends up with a pee stick mystery to solve. A test that ends up not belonging to either of my youngest siblings. By my powers of deduction that leaves me with one more sibling. A brother who has never been able to let you go.”

“Okay,” I say. “I guess you could assume it was me then.”

“Plus.” He pulls me around to face him. “You keep accepting alcohol and coffee from my siblings, but you’re not drinking it, and you’re not that discreet about tipping it down the sink. I’m surprised everyone in the house hasn’t worked it out by now.”

“Tom knows. Gem found me in the bathroom the night of Raze and Claire’s engagement party. She worked it out.” I lean against the fence, casting my gaze to the twigs and leave strewn on the ground. “She left because she thought it was his. Told him about it before I could tell Mace. Before I could come clean with all of them.”

Rush chuckles. “You two were always thick as thieves, but that’s not where your heart lies.”

“You know he’s my best friend. Or he was. He isn’t talking to me much since he found out. I’ve kept so much from all of them. Come between you and Mace.” I glance at the ground, still soggy from the rain the night before. The heels of my boots sink into the dirt. “I’m not really sure where to begin telling them the real story. Or whether they’ll be able to forgive me for keeping so much from them.”

“We all have secrets. Each and every one of us.” He tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear, leaves his hand cupping the back of my head. “Sooner or later they have to come out. Look at Claire and Razer, or even Tommy with his ridiculous manwhore reputation.”

“I know. But this is bigger,” I whisper. “I married him.”

“Yes, you did. Because you’ve been in love with my brother forever.” One side of his mouth twitches. “Although I never could quite figure out the why.”

“Not all magic has a reason.”

He’d said those same words to me many times when we were kids, always in regards to his tricks. But it applies to the way I’m drawn to Mace, too.

“No? Perhaps not.” He chuckles. “But all shows must come to an end, eventually. I have to say I’m looking forward to seeing how this one plays out.”

“I only hope Mace forgives you.” I grip his forearm. “The blame for all this falls squarely on me.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, sweetie.” He darts a glance up at the house. “Did you tell him anything about what happened?”

“I told him why I went after you when you left. Told him how I didn’t want to come between you.”

“You were so naïve back then.” His violet eyes twinkle, and he cups my cheek, his thumb brushing the corner of my mouth. “You weren’t the one who started this.” Then he drops his lips to my ear. “Do you remember this? Follow my lead.”

Yeah, I remember this. The first time he ever kissed me he’d whispered those same words in my ear.

I’d been upset. Mace had said something, I don’t quite recall. Whatever it had been had sent me storming out of the party we were at and down the road. Rush had come after me. He’d grabbed my hand and forced me to stop.

“My brother can be an asshole. I’m sorry,” he’d said as he’d brought me back to him.

But it hadn’t been that. I’d thought there was something between Mace and I, even then. And I’d been scared. “He’s not. It’s not…”