Cockney Orphan (18 page)

Vic looked down at her, his gaze intense. ‘I was hoping you’d say that.’

‘I could ask Mum and Dad to babysit.’

He nodded thoughtfully. ‘Gran’s staying the night at Pat’s. The house is empty.’

Connie looked into his eyes. They didn’t need words. They could read each other’s minds.

At Nan’s, Lucky was in the tin bath. Vic pushed a toy boat on the surface. They all shrieked with laughter as Lucky’s fat hands hit the water and splashed them.
After supper it was Nan who suggested they leave him with her for the evening.

‘He’ll go off in the pram with a bit of rocking. Why don’t you two go to the cinema or somewhere nice? In fact, if it’s late, you can collect him in the
morning.’

An hour later they found themselves in Gran’s parlour. Lying on cushions in front of a blazing fire, Vic kissed her again and again. Connie kissed him back, needing his hands to touch her,
arouse her.

‘I want you so much,’ she groaned as he undid the buttons of her blouse. His lips covered her in tiny kisses only stopping when he looked into her eyes. ‘Connie, if we go
on—’

‘I don’t want you to stop.’

‘Are you sure?’

She nodded, placing his hands on her naked breasts. ‘Feel what you’re doing to me.’

‘I want you, my darling, so much.’

‘And I want you. Make love to me. Make me remember this evening for ever.’

He took her into his arms and adored her; she had never imagined such bliss could fill a human heart.

‘Connie, I’ve something to tell you.’ The firelight flickered on their naked bodies. The smoke from his cigarette curled up into the air as his fingers played
lightly on her skin.

She rolled against him, nestling her head on his shoulder. ‘I don’t want to know it.’

He smiled as he rubbed his chin against her forehead. ‘I’ve been posted to Chatham.’

‘What’s that?’

‘It’s a big naval barracks. From there we’ll be sent to our ships.’

She sat up. ‘When will I see you again?’

He pulled her against him, his hand brushing the soft blond curls from her eyes. ‘I can’t tell you that, I’m afraid.’

‘But how will I know where you are?’

‘Or that either. Everything is secret. Even we don’t know what’s ahead of us.’

Connie looked into his eyes, frightened now. How could she bear the sacrifice they had to make for their country? ‘I hate this war,’ she said fiercely. ‘I hate it with all my
heart.’

‘We’re fighting for freedom, darling.’

‘I know. But it’s such a heavy price to pay.’

‘I promise I’ll come back.’

She knew he was trying to reassure her and she wanted to believe him. ‘Make love to me,’ she whispered. ‘I don’t want to think about tomorrow. I just want you – now
– this moment.’

Taking her in his arms, he kissed her, and sinking back into the cushions they shut out the world and all the worries of tomorrow.

Connie’s memories of the two short days they spent together were the happiest of her life. The Blitz really did appear to be over, but in another corner of the world the
Russians had been caught unprepared by the German onslaught. There was also news of another ferocious Atlantic battle. The British naval fleet had avenged HMS
Hood
by sinking
Bismarck
. Germany’s pride had been destroyed with a vengeance that had even the British people gasping aloud. Pursued relentlessly by every available British ship and aircraft, she
had been cornered and sunk, so avenging the death of
Hood
.

‘Were there any survivors?’ Olive asked the night before Vic was due to return to Chatham. Ebbie was reading from the newspaper and Vic and Connie were sitting side by side on the
couch, listening solemnly to the report.

Ebbie shook his head, his eyes not lifting. ‘A thousand plus crew there were. Most of them are presumed to have perished, sent to the bottom with their ship.’

‘She was a doomed vessel,’ Vic said quietly. ‘Even if she was Germany’s newest and fastest, it didn’t make any difference to our High Command. The morale of our
fleet depended upon a kill.’

‘It’s terrible.’ Connie shuddered, thinking of the wives and mothers who, like those of the
Hood
’s crew, would never see their men again. ‘All those lives
lost on both sides.’

Olive put down her knitting and stared at the cot where Lucky was asleep. ‘It’s for his future and all our children’s future that we’re fighting. Even I can see the sense
in that.’

‘And we’d do well to keep the fact in mind.’ Ebbie nodded as he lowered the newspaper to his lap. ‘The Luftwaffe has a sting in its tail. They might have let up on us a
bit but they’re bombing other towns now, going through the bloody Baedeker guidebook, if you please! Who would have ever thought of that?’

The room went silent. Connie felt Vic squeeze her hand. It was their last night together and she wanted to have him all to herself, to be made love to. She didn’t want to talk about war
and all the killing. But, despite her need to distance herself from grim realities, it seemed only right they share some time with the two families.

Vic stretched his long legs. ‘Well, I won’t keep you all up too late.’

Again silence as Ebbie rose and came forward to take hold of his hand. He pressed it hard in a firm grip. ‘It won’t be long before we see you again, son, I’m sure. Until then,
good luck and keep out of trouble.’

Vic grinned. ‘You bet I will.’

‘Look after yourself now, Victor.’ Olive embraced the young man, lifting her hand to pat his cheek.

Outside, the sky was dark blue, crammed with stars and a bright silver moon. Hand in hand they strolled down the deserted street. There was so much she still wanted to say, with no time left to
say it in. She knew he felt the same, as they made their steps shorter and slower and her aching heart felt as though it was painfully filling her chest. She tried to brush away the tears
surreptitiously, but he saw her and caught her hand. Bringing her against him, they clung together.

After a long time, he whispered, ‘Oh, Connie, I love you so much.’

‘And I love you.’

‘Look after yourself while I’m away.’

‘I hate goodbyes.’

‘I’ll come home. Believe that, won’t you?’

‘I’ll try to.’

He bent his head and kissed her, bringing back in a flash all the wonderful hours she had spent in his arms, memories that would help to sustain her in the lonely days ahead.

‘Be brave, sweetheart.’

‘I don’t want you to go.’

‘Neither do I .’

He took her shoulders and cleared his throat roughly as though he was about to speak. But then he let her go and she watched him stride away, out of her life once more.

Connie felt sick with love and grief. Half of her world was missing. She wouldn’t truly live again until he was safe in her arms once more.

L
ucky turned his first approximate ‘birthday’ in June. Connie and Nan made a cake, celebrating what everyone hoped was the end of the
nightly bombing. Whilst the all clear persisted, Billy enlisted the help of Taffy to replace the corner of roof that was missing. Tiles and rafters were nailed back and the office at work was once
again habitable. Life was getting back to normal, Connie reflected one warm August morning, as she walked to work. Even Ted Jackson, the postman, was looking more cheerful as he hopped off his bike
to hand her a letter.

‘One for you, Connie!’

‘Thanks, Ted.’ Her heart turned over as she glanced at the naval postmark.

Tucking the letter in her pocket, she resisted the temptation to open it just yet. She’d wait until she could savour every word and maybe – oh, please God – he’d say when
he was coming home again.

It wasn’t until she was sitting on the wharf wall with Ada in their dinner break that Connie found time to read it. ‘I promised myself I wasn’t going to get upset,’
Connie said when she came to the end of the single page, ‘but he doesn’t say when he’s coming home or where he is or anything like that. It’s like eating an ice-cream
without any flavour.’

Ada grinned. ‘Yeah, but the lovey dovey bits are nice, ain’t they?’

Connie nodded, but she had been hoping dearly there would be a clue to his whereabouts or a small hint as to his next leave.

‘Wally don’t know one end of a pen from the other,’ Ada continued to grumble. ‘Your Vic’s got a real way with words.’

Connie immediately felt guilty. She had so much to be grateful for. Her family and friends had survived the Blitz and her job at Dalton’s was still safe. She even had her own room back,
where she and Lucky could sleep in peace each night. But without knowing when she was going to hold Vic in her arms again, there was a huge gap in her life.

‘The thing is, Wally’s never written me a letter or said anything like Vic says to you.’

‘He might if he went away somewhere.’

‘Sometimes I wish he would.’

‘You don’t mean that.’

Ada didn’t reply, just chewed on her lip. Then suddenly she lifted her hands and slapped them down in her lap. ‘Oh, life is just so boring, Con. We never do anything, just sit in or
go out for a walk and that’s only if he’s not tired. What a laugh, eh? Usually it’s the woman who is knackered or has a headache, but oh no, not in Wally’s case. He has more
headaches lately than mum ever did and that’s saying something. We used to go to the pictures and sit in the back row, but we don’t even do that now. And the last blooming time we went
we had to take bloody Jean with us.’

Connie knew that Wally’s sister had become a nuisance; not only had Ada to share a room with her, but the couple were continually pestered by Jean’s demands to go out with them.

‘Ada, don’t you miss your own family?’

‘Course I do. My sisters especially. Jean is nothing like them. She’s spoiled and selfish and a right little madam.’

‘What about Wally’s mum and dad?’

‘Well, they’re not bad really. Just a bit straight-laced. They go to church on Sundays and I have to go with them to keep the peace. But my heart’s not in it and neither was
Wally’s once. As I said, life is just so boring seeing each other every day, doing the same thing over and over again, never getting any time alone. Even when we do – you know –
enjoy
ourselves, it’s over and done with in seconds.’

Connie had noticed lines of discontentment forming around Ada’s mouth. Her auburn hair was neglected and now she didn’t even bother to wear make-up. She didn’t laugh much
either, not like she used to. Not so long ago they had sat in this very spot, giggling and making each other laugh until the tears ran down their cheeks. What had happened to the happy girl she had
once known?

‘Oh, I don’t mean to complain,’ Ada continued tiredly. ‘But I want a bit of what you’ve got. When Vic went back after his leave, you’d changed. I could see it
in your eyes, that special glow. It was like that for me and Wally once. We could spend ages mucking about and just having a laugh as well as enjoying a bit of the other. Now it’s as if
he’s taking me and our future for granted. To be honest, the last thing I want to do is live with his mum and dad and sister for the rest of my life, though sometimes I think Wally would be
quite happy to. If he was away like Vic at least he’d want to be on his own with me when he came home.’

Connie thought how strange life was. She would do anything to have Vic here in the flesh, whilst Ada would prefer to have Wally at war. It seemed more romantic to her that way, but it
wasn’t. ‘Ada, you don’t know how lucky you are to have Wally safe. I don’t know where Vic is or where he’s going. Or even if he’s on board ship and in the middle
of a battle. Churchill might be sticking up his two fingers and telling us all that the V sign is the symbol of the unconquerable, but it don’t help my heart much every time I hear of a ship
sunk.’

Ada looked repentant. ‘Yeah, you must feel rotten.’

An idea formed in Connie’s mind. ‘Look, Billy’s got a big fight next month. He asked me to go and see it, but he knows I’m not keen to watch. If it’s excitement you
want, why don’t you and Wally go?’

‘I’ve never seen a bare-knuckle fight before,’ Ada said excitedly.

‘Well, here’s your chance.’

‘I’ll ask Wally. It would certainly make a change.’

Connie dug her sandwiches out of her bag and, unwrapping the brown paper bag, offered them to her friend. ‘Spam, spam or more spam.’ She grinned.

Ada considered, then, pushing her own brown parcel aside, raised her plucked eyebrows. ‘I’ll have spam if it’s all right with you. Beats the living daylights out of
dripping.’

Both girls laughed and Connie began to feel hopeful. Perhaps a night out on the tiles would bring Ada and Wally together again.

Billy’s fight was big island news. The event was arranged to take place at the Queens, Millwall. Ada had been looking forward to it for weeks, but at the eleventh hour,
her hopes were dashed.

‘We had a row,’ Ada sniffed when she turned up on the doorstep alone. ‘He’s not coming. But I’ll still go.’

‘What, on your own?’

‘No, with you.’

‘Ada, you know how I feel about watching fights.’

‘Yeah, but it will only be this once. We can’t let Billy down.’

Connie suspected Ada wasn’t concerned with Billy’s feelings. It was her own she was more worried about, and the fact that she was angry with Wally.

‘What about Lucky?’

‘Ask your mum and dad to look after him.’

Connie was wishing she had never got involved in Ada’s love life. The trouble was, she didn’t want to let Billy down and Ada knew it.

A quarter of an hour later, they were on their way to the Queens. ‘What was the row about?’ Connie asked.

‘I called Jean a nosy cow and told her to eff off.’

‘Why did you do that?’

‘I found her going through my things.’

‘What was she looking for?’

‘She said she needed stockings that wasn’t laddered. As I’ve got a few pairs in my drawer she took it on herself to look whilst I was at work. I said she had to ask first. She
said why should she, as it was her house I was living in. I told her I didn’t care what flaming house it was, and then the balloon went up. Naturally, Wally took her side.’