Clutched (Wild Riders) (27 page)

“I... I...” What else could I say? I'd asked nicely, and I wasn't going to blow him that was for damn sure. So instead, I just walked toward the door.

“Don't forget about the non-compete clause,” Nick reminded as I pulled the door open to leave. “Neither one of you better even think about taking up with some other sponsor.”

His threats were concrete, which is exactly what I felt like my stomach was full of.  As I walked out of Throttled HQ for the first and last time, I could barely contain my emotions. Part of me wanted to cry. Part of me wanted to scream. I'd just lost my dream. All my hard work and dedication was wiped out. And for what? I hadn't been able to save Hoyt's job. And apparently I'd done it all for no reason. Nick didn't even know about the video. If I hadn't ever opened my mouth he probably would have never even mentioned the Instagram picture.

I looked down at my feet as I walked across the parking lot, knowing that if I looked up the sun would surely cause me to squint and the tears would start falling. How was it that I continuously kept fucking things up in my life? Even when I tried to do the right thing I made everything worse. I didn't deserve fancy sponsorships or shots at the pros. I certainly didn't deserve Hoyt Travers.

“Excuse me,” a man's voice said as my shoulder bumped against his.

“I'm so sorry,” I said as I looked up. In my self-pitying stupor, I'd nearly knocked a stranger over. Except, when I looked up in to the man's eyes he wasn't a complete stranger. “Mr. Murray,” I choked out. “I'm so sorry.”

“Chayse McCade,” he said smoothly. “I was wondering when I was going to get a chance to officially meet you.” His smile was warm and gracious—something else I didn't deserve. I knew that the moment he walked into his office and Nick told him about Hoyt and me he wouldn't be so nice.

“It's nice to meet you too,” I said. I buried my sadness and frustration and smiled.

“I've been following your season,” he said. “You're really making us proud over here.” Talk about being kicked when you're down. His kind words were exactly what I didn't want to hear. I mean... I did. I really did. I'd been trying to impress him and everyone else since I'd signed that contract, but knowing that he'd be finding out about Hoyt and I in a matter of minutes was like being punched right in the chest.

“I appreciate you taking a chance on me,” I told him. “It's meant a lot to be able to work with your company.”

“We love having you here,” he said, reaching up and placing his hand on my shoulder. “I can't wait to see how the rest of the season plays out,” he added. “Keep up the great work.”

He was not going to like how the rest of the season played out one bit. I thought about telling him myself. I thought about just letting the words fall right off my lips, but I'd already made the mistake of speaking up too soon. No. I'd let Nick tell him and by the time he let it all sink in that I was a terrible representative of Throttled, I'd be on my way back to Mill Valley and one step closer to being back in Reno with no shot of a motocross career. The time I was going to be forced to take off and the fact that I couldn't afford to race on my own pretty much meant that I'd better hope my waitressing apron still fit.

“Thank you again,” I said. “I'd better be going.”

“That a girl,” he said with a grin. “Get back on the track.”

If only I could.

“W
here have you been?” I asked her the second she got out of her truck. I'd been waiting at her trailer for almost an hour. “You didn't answer your phone.” I'd had a moment of panic where I thought maybe she'd done something crazy like run off without so much as a goodbye. When her old truck came rumbling down the dirt lane toward me, I'd felt relieved that she hadn't run away from me.

“I'm sorry,” she said softly. Her eyes were puffy and red.

“Babe,” I said, placing my hands on her face. “What's the matter?” I may as well have unlocked the gate on the Hoover Dam because the moment she looked up into my eyes the tears started falling for what I reasoned to be the second time that day.

“I... I...” she sniffled.

I pulled her against my chest and wrapped my arms around her. I had zero concerns about anyone seeing me hugging her out there. She was visibly upset and there wasn't anything I wouldn't do to make her feel better. Last night's events must have been too much for her to handle. As tough as she was, I knew that between everything that happened with her dad and the thought that we were both going to lose our jobs was eating away at her. I couldn't wait to tell her that we were in the clear.

“It's okay,” I said, stroking my hand down her back. “It's going to be fine.”

“It's not,” she said, pulling back to look at me. “Nothing is fine. I made everything worse.”

“What are you talking about?” I smiled. “No one is going to find out about what happened last night,” I told her. “We're not going to lose our jobs.”

She sobbed again. I took her hand in mine and walked us into her trailer. Whatever breakdown she was having at the moment needed Kleenex and a place to sit down. She sat down on the small sofa and I wrangled up some tissue from the bathroom.

“What is going on?” I asked her as I sat down next to her and dabbed the tears from her eyes.

“I fucked up.”

“It's going to be fine,” I tried to calm her down.

“I went to see Nick this morning,” she explained.

“Why? Link took care of the videos and your dad. No one is ever going to know what happened.”

“I didn't know that this morning,” she said. “I wanted to get ahead of the whole video thing. I thought maybe...” She cast her eyes down at her hands as she fidgeted. “I thought that I could at least save your job.”

“You told him?” I started to feel the vein running along my throat throb as my pulse sped up.

“I didn't tell him about the video,” she said. “He already knew about us. He saw pictures of us in The Keys.”

The sinking feeling that I'd thought was gone returned with a vengeance. So much for thinking we were in the clear.

“The worst part is he wasn't even going to say anything until I showed up there today,” I told him. I couldn't stop thinking about him coming on to me either. I felt disgusted. “He was willing to look the other way about it until I mentioned what happened last night. When I wouldn't agree to sleep with him he—”

“What?” My jaw immediately clenched. “What do you mean when you wouldn't agree to sleep with him? He came on to you?”

“Yes, but I told him he could go straight to hell.” I knew that she would never do something like that. That still didn't stop me from wanting to hurt him. He had no right to even suggest the idea.

“Of course you did,” I said, pressing my lips to her forehead. “That doesn't mean I'm not going to beat his ass if I ever see him again.” I was going to do more than beat his ass. He'd crossed the line. Big time. “It's okay,” I said trying to soothe her. This wasn't her fault anymore than it was mine.

“I screwed everything up.”

“So he fired us. It's going to be okay.”

As I sat there watching her cry and insist how badly she'd screwed everything up all I could think about was how much I didn't care. I thought being fired from Throttled was going to hurt way worse than it did. Maybe I was still numb or so mad at Nick that I didn't care. I didn't want to be a part of a company with a disgusting human being like him anyway.

My focus needed to be on her though. All I could think about was the way she was crying. The way she was chewing through her bottom lip. The way she wouldn't even look at me. And, that hurt worse than not having a job.

“Come here,” I told her as I placed my hands on her shoulders. “We are going to be fine,” I assured her. I kissed her forehead. “You didn't screw up.”

“I did,” she insisted. “I shouldn't have went there. I should have thought things through.”

“Maybe,” I said as she laid her head on my shoulder. “You were trying to do the right thing. I get it.” I really did. Sure, she liked to leap before she looked, but I never doubted for one minute that her heart was in the right place. The fact that she was willing to take the blame for what happened between us was enough for me to see that she really loved me.

“Can you please just yell at me?” She looked up. “It's freaking me out that you are being so calm about this. Just tell me what you really think.”

“I am. I can find another job. We'll find you another sponsor.” As I sat there telling her everything would be okay, I had a small inkling of doubt. I had a feeling Nick was going to make it difficult for us, but it was what it was. The only thing that I was worried about was her.

“What happened to you?”

“What do you mean?” I chuckled. “I'm great. I'm better than great.”

She looked at me with wide eyes and confusion.

“I mean it,” I promised. “I've spent so much time worrying about work and trying to prove to everyone that I'm good at what I do that I forgot about what is really important. Did I plan for things to go this way? No. But, if I've learned anything from you it's that it's okay if things don’t always go according to plan.” I pressed my lips to hers. “I just want you and whatever wild and crazy path we end up on that's okay.”

“Really?” I could see that she was waiting for me to lose my cool, but it wasn't going to happen. Not anymore. I honestly felt better than I'd felt in a long time. Like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

“Really.”

* * *

A
fter our discussion in her trailer, we decided that Mill Valley was not the place we wanted to be. We could come back tomorrow to get her bike and trailer and drop off all of the equipment she had to give back to Throttled. As easy as I felt about the situation I could tell she was struggling.

“What am I going to do?” she said as we climbed into my bed that night. It was the first time she'd been over to my apartment and if I had any say in the matter she'd be staying here indefinitely. There was no way I was going to let her live in her trailer or even think about going back to Reno. I knew how much she hated that place.

“You can still race,” I assured her. “You don't have to have a sponsor to race.”

“Entry fees and travel are going to kill me.”

“We'll figure it out. I have some money saved up and—”

“I'm not taking your money.”

“I'm not asking you to,” I replied. “I'm paying the entry fees whether you like it or not. If you don't show up on race day that's on you.” I flashed her a grin.

She shook her head and tried not to smile back.

“What about you?”

“I don't know.” I shrugged. “The ProShop my brother and Brett are opening will be ready in month or two. I could always go run it. We could go together,” I suggested. “There's a full track on our property. You could practice there. Hell, you could even train riders if you wanted to earn some money for racing.”

“I could,” she agreed. “You're seriously okay with all of this?”

“Yes.” I leaned over and pressed my lips to hers. “Ask me again and I'm going to seriously consider taking you over my knee.”

“You would,” she sassed. “See, you are still a control freak.”

“I can't shut it all off.” I laughed. I moved my body over hers and drew her hands up over her head with mine. “I still like to boss you around.”

“And I still like to not let you.” Her eyes narrowed in on mine and she gave me her best serious face. She could say what she wanted about our current position, but she enjoyed it. I could feel the heat between her legs where our bodies connected. I could feel her racing pulse against my lips when I dropped my mouth to her neck. She loved it when I took control. She needed it as much as I did. Her back arched as I kissed my way up her skin and let my cock press against her center.

“Want me to stop?” I asked.

“Absolutely not,” she murmured out as I kissed her again. I'd never get tired of kissing her. Of touching her. Of feeling the way I felt when she was underneath of me. This was worth way more than anything else. It wasn't just about sex or lust or not being able to keep our hands off of one another. It was the fact that she challenged me. She made me want to step out of my little box of comfort and routine and see the world for what it was. Ever changing. I couldn't predict or plan the future, but I could live in the moment with her and be completely, one-hundred percent, satisfied with the decisions that we'd made.

I let go of her hands and pushed her panties down her legs. Her hands followed suit and found the waistband of my boxer briefs and pushed them down. Her legs wrapped around me as I centered myself above her and lowered myself and pushed into her. She pressed her mouth to my shoulder and spread her hands out across my back. The feel of her walls clenching around me would have usually had me thrusting into her and taking as much as she was willing to give, but today was different. Today was the start of their rest of our lives together and as sappy as that might have been I wanted to savor this moment. I wanted to lay there with her wrapped around me and make slow, sweet love to her all night.

“I love you,” I said as my mouth found hers. “More than anything.”

“I love you too.”

A
s much as I wanted to stay in the bed with him all day, I knew that we needed to head back to Mill Valley to pick up my truck and trailer. The last thing I needed was for Nick to have my vehicles towed off the property. I was sure my name was already being run through the mud at Throttled HQ and that was enough degradation for the time being.

The fact that Hoyt was being so damn understanding about the whole situation had made me feel a little bit better about costing him his job. By the time the sun rose that morning—and I woke up next to the sweetest, sexiest man I'd ever laid eyes on—I was starting to make peace with the outcome of all of it. I had him and it was more than enough.

“You're leaving?” Link had walked over to my site just as Hoyt and I had finished hooking my truck up to my trailer.

“You haven't heard yet?” I asked him. “I was sure by now the rumor mill was turning overtime.” Link shook his head. “Nick found out about us,” I explained.