Clover (14 page)

Four Years Ago

Clover logged on to her computer to check her email. She’d gotten her dorm assignment from the University of Washington yesterday. It included her roommate’s name and email address. She’d sent a message to introduce herself and hadn’t heard back before she left for work that afternoon. She clicked into her email. Nothing except junk. She deleted it and closed her MacBook down.

She had plenty of things she should be researching online, like where the best places to eat were around campus. Plus she really wanted to know more about her assigned professors. However, those things could wait. Right now all she wanted was to sit on the porch and read her book. In a few weeks, she wouldn’t have time for pleasure reading anymore.

She took her book and headed outside. The sun was bright enough for her to need her sunglasses, but it felt awesome on her skin. She lay on the long glider swing and relaxed into her book. She could hear R.J. playing on the side of the house. It sounded like Jake was with him, but she didn’t care enough to find out for sure.

Before she could get fully submerged in the writing, her cell phone rang. She didn’t recognize the number, but answered anyway. “Hello?”

“Clover? Is that your real name?” A voice Clover didn’t recognize asked her a question she’d heard too many times in her life.

“Who is this?”

“Oh, sorry. This is Lexy. Your new roommate.”

Clover let her irritation slip. She couldn’t afford to go through her freshman year living with someone she hated. “Yes, it’s really my name. Is Lexy yours?” She tried to sound playful, but it came out bitchy anyway.

Lexy laughed. “Lexy isn’t cool enough to fake. How’d you end up with Clover?”

“My mom liked it.” Clover knew the whole story about how her mom had craved clover honey all the way through her pregnancy and when she’d finally given birth, the only name her parents could think of was Clover. It had made it onto the birth certificate before they’d come to their collective senses. Thank God she hadn’t developed a taste for dill pickles. Clover she could pull off; Dill would have been a little harder.

“Well then I like your mom. Tell her mad props from me.”

“She’s dead.”

“Shit. I’m not doing this very well.” Lexy’s easy tone wavered for a moment and Clover felt sorry for her.

“It’s okay. It was a long time ago. How would you know?”

“Any other family things I should know? Help me keep my feet where they belong?”

Clover thought about Brandon, but she didn’t have any clear way to describe his place in their family. Technically, he was the farm manager. In reality, he was so much more. She just didn’t have a name for it, so she left it alone. “Nope, that’s the only interesting thing about me.”

“I doubt that.” Lexy laughed again. Just like that, she was happy and over it.

“What about you?”

“God, I’m the most boring girl in the world. I have a mom and a dad, an older brother, and a dog named Ranger. Pretty standard issue American dream stuff.”

The noise of her brother and Jake grew louder. Suddenly they rolled in a clump into the yard in front of her. Jake wasn’t having as easy of a time pinning R.J. as he used to, but he definitely had the upper hand. Jake looked at her under R.J.’s arm and smiled. The distraction cost him his advantage. R.J. grabbed his shoulder and flipped him onto his back. It was the first time she’d seen that happen.

“Hey, you still there?” Lexy called into the phone.

“What? Yeah, sorry. My brother and his friend are being loud. Just let me head inside.”

Jake rolled out from beneath R.J. and pinned him face down on the grass. He jammed his knee into R.J.’s shoulder, and gave Clover a small wave as she entered the house. She didn’t have time to think about how sad he looked as Lexy launched into a endless list of questions about Clover’s life.

She waved back at Jake, then let the door shut between them.

Present Day

“I love you.” Jake whispered the words against her lips like it was the most natural thing in the world, like he had no choice but to say them.

Clover’s stomach fluttered with excitement and anticipation. Her ex had never expressed anything more than an affection for orgasms. This felt so much better. She deepened the kiss, pushing against Jake until he was flat on his back. She straddled his waist, her skirt hiking up until it was bunched high around her thighs and he gripped her there, his hands stroking over the exposed skin and pushing the skirt even higher.

She stared into his eyes as she pulled her top up and off. She tried to move slowly, but she all she wanted was to feel his skin against hers. Despite all the complicated details, she knew they belonged together. She wanted to get so close to him that she could feel him from the inside out.

When she set her shirt next to them on the ground, she debated removing her bra too, but his eyes were huge and he looked a little frightened. She didn’t want to scare him. She just wanted to feel him. Instead, she worked through the small buttons on his shirt. It fell to the sides, exposing his bare chest.

She’d seen him naked from the waist up many times that summer, starting with the first day when he’d picked her up on the side of the road, but she never got used to the sight. His chest was smooth, his muscles well-defined and, as she traced over the surface with her fingers, she could feel him flex beneath her touch.

She pushed the shirt completely out of the way, then lowered herself slowly until she was lying chest to chest with Jake. Clover stared into his eyes and the closer she got to him, the wider his eyes got, until finally they slipped shut as she rested fully on top of him. He held her close with his palms flat against her back, his fingers spread wide. His touch was firm, yet gentle.

“God, Clover, you feel so…
good.
” The last word came out as a full-on moan.

The sound of his voice in her ear, needy and aching, combined with the press of his smooth naked chest against hers, was too much for her. She rolled her hips against him and his body bucked beneath her. His hands moved from her back to her hair and he worked his fingers into it, twisting and releasing in time with the motion of her body.

“Jake.” She whispered his name, desperate for more from him, but unable to name it.

He pulled her back until he was able to look into her eyes and kissed her, fast and sloppy and hard. Clover opened herself to him and let him take, his tongue thrusting inside her with a need so great that she could taste it on his lips.

“I want you so bad,” Jake panted into her mouth, no longer kissing, but holding her so close their lips were still pressed together.

Clover worked her hand between their bodies and reached down until she was able to cup him as he strained against the confines of his jeans. She rubbed the length of him and he groaned and thrust against her.

“Condoms?” The answer last time she’d asked had been no and, as far as she knew, he hadn’t been into town since. She’d gone to work a couple of times, but had been in such a rush to get back to Jake that she hadn’t taken the time to stop at the drugstore. She was an idiot.

“No,” he whimpered, but he didn’t stop thrusting his hips against her.

“I can still…” Clover worked his fly open and slipped her hand inside. God, she loved the feel of his cock in her hands, rigid and silky smooth all at the same time. She traced the surface with her fingertips, then wrapped her hand around the base and stroked the length of him.

“God.” With his hips still bucking against her, he grabbed her hand and forced her to still her motions. “You first.”

And then he rolled until she was on her back and looking up into his eyes. He kissed her once, fast and sweet, on the mouth, before working his way down her body. He kneeled between her legs and watched her reaction as he slipped his fingers beneath the lace of her panties and then eased them down her legs.

Clover held her breath as the cool night air touched her bare, exposed pussy. She was so wet, so turned on, that she might come just from the way Jake was looking at her, like he couldn’t quite believe she was there.

She waited as long as she could, which wasn’t really long at all, then begged, “Jake, please.”

He looked so uncertain, like he wanted so much, but was still afraid he’d do it wrong. She loved that he wanted to please her, yet didn’t know how to communicate that there was no wrong way for him to touch her. She was pretty sure that if it felt good for him, it would feel good for her, too.

Jake stared at her as she lay there, spread wide and panting for more, and swallowed hard. He brought his gaze to meet hers and said in the sweetest, most sincere voice she’d ever heard, “You’re so beautiful, Clover. I can’t believe how lucky I am to be with you like this.”

She wanted him to touch her, or let her touch him, so badly. It clouded her brain and made words impossible. Still, he sat and stared at her. When she couldn’t take the wait any longer, she slid her hand down her own body and didn’t stop until her fingers touched the wetness Jake had brought from her.

She spread herself open and, when she touched her clit, they both moaned. A jolt of energy burst through her at the light, casual brush of her fingers over her clit and she rolled her hips reflexively. Jake licked his lips and, as Clover began to rub tight circles over her clit, he removed his cock from his underwear completely.

He stroked his hand over his length as she slipped her fingers inside herself, then back out. She spread the moisture she gathered over her clit and longed to feel him inside of her. He was so close, right there and so fucking hard she could feel the heat pulsing off him, yet they still weren’t able to take that step because neither of them was willing to take the chance without a condom.

His body jerked and twitched and she knew he wouldn’t last much longer. She wanted, if at all possible, for them to come at the same time. Clover worked her clit faster and felt the familiar building pressure spread through her body. Her legs tensed and strained, as did her belly. She felt a hollow ache that only he could fill.

“Jake, I want to feel you inside of me. Please.” She said the words, but knew that they wouldn’t change anything. She could watch him come, but she wasn’t allowed to feel it this time.

His hand moved faster as she spoke, and she knew that, as badly as she wanted him to be inside of her, he wanted it just as much. He gripped the inside of her thigh with his free hand and held it so hard there would be bruises there tomorrow. She didn’t care. She wanted to feel more of him. She worked herself closer and closer, let her hips buck against her own hand, fucking the air while she wished for the weight of Jake’s body on top of her.

Finally, as she watched every muscle in his body draw tight and he stopped moving except for the hand around his cock, Clover let herself go. Her orgasm overtook her in waves and she convulsed on the hard ground. A small rock that she hadn’t noticed before dug into the skin of her low back. Jake arched his body hard and come shot from his cock, spurting over the ground and dripping onto her leg. His body slumped and he loosened his grip on her thigh.

His body rocked with each breath and she stretched until she could touch his hand with her own. “Are you okay?”

“This is not how I want things to be with you.” He didn’t look at her as he spoke.

She pushed herself up until she was sitting. With some careful maneuvering, she worked her skirt down so that she wasn’t sitting on the dirt with her bare ass, then she pulled him into a loose hug. “It’s okay.”

He shook his head fiercely. “No, Clover. You’re better than this. Rooting around in the dirt! You deserve so much more.”

She took his face between her hands and kissed him as gently as she knew how. She wanted to do something to draw him out of whatever funk he’d wrapped himself up in. His eyes were the darkest blue she’d ever seen, so unlike his normal bright, teasing blue, and all she could see in there were storm clouds and disappointment. No one should ever feel like that after sex. Well, not sex, exactly, but they had shared an orgasm. They should be cuddling, riding the post-coital bliss. Instead, Jake looked moments away from a full-on meltdown.

“Shhhh,” she cooed at him. “All I want is you. That’s it. Nothing else matters.”

He calmed slightly, but didn’t look convinced. Clover kissed him again, a little more determined this time. Finally, she felt his body start to relax. When he spoke, his voice was so small she barely heard the words. “Are you sure?”

She looked into his eyes and willed him to see all the things in her that she wasn’t quite able to say yet. She wanted him to know that she was happier with him than she’d ever been, and that even though she wasn’t ready to let the words out, she loved him too, very much. That thought terrified her. Love, she’d always known, was the one thing that could throw her life into a tailspin. She liked her carefully orchestrated plans and placing one foot in front of the other. Deviations were scary.

With Jake, she felt all the things she’d never felt before and that made her feel exposed and vulnerable. Yet, she was willing to be that with him. She wanted him to be able to look at her and see the effect he had on her. She wanted him to know that she loved him without having to hear it.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

At her words, the storm in his eyes retreated, but didn’t disappear completely. He was so tense, trying so hard to make everything okay when really he didn’t have to try at all. No matter what, she belonged to him.

“Jake, I love every moment we have together. I love that you let me touch you. I love that you trust me enough to share what we just shared. It wasn’t dirty. It was beautiful.”

“Yeah?” Jake stared into her eyes, the darkness returning, but this time Clover knew what it meant. His cock grew long and hard at the same time. God, she wanted to push him onto his back and ride him until they both came. She’d make him forget all about the fact that they were outside on the ground.

That was it. Tomorrow after work, she was stopping to pick up condoms.

“Lay back.” She pushed against his shoulder, but he resisted.

“Why?”

“Do you trust me?” She didn’t want to say that if she couldn’t have him inside her for real, her mouth was the next best thing. At least she’d be able to feel him pulsing as he slid down her throat. It wasn’t ideal, but it was better than nothing. She needed the physical connection to bolster the emotional. The orgasm they’d already shared was great release, but it didn’t do anything to satisfy her need to
feel
Jake.

He nodded, his eyes going wide with understanding as he lay back until he was propped up on his elbows. He watched as she crawled over him and took his cock into her mouth.

“Jesus, Clover.” His legs bucked up as she slid down his length. His movement drove him deeper than she was ready for, but she forced herself to relax and take him. The last thing she wanted was for him to pull away again.

She pulled back, looked into his eyes, then tipped her head to open her throat up. This time when he thrust upward, she pushed her mouth down and didn’t stop until he was buried completely inside her. She wrapped her lips around the base of his cock and puckered them together in a would-be kiss against the coarse hairs covering the skin. She sucked and swallowed, using her throat muscles to stimulate him, then retracted again.

He wouldn’t let her do it like this for long. She could tell he was nearing the stage where he just wanted to pound his cock into her, but her throat wasn’t ready for that kind of invasion.

She worked the full length of his cock and cupped his balls until she felt them draw tight in her hand. She took him in one last time and held him there. Clover licked over the hard seam that ran along the underside of his cock as she worked her throat around him, tightening and releasing until she couldn’t go any longer. She had to breathe or pass out.

She pulled back, sucking hard and breathing deep through her nose, then she worked quickly to bring him to orgasm. She fisted the base of his cock and moved her hand in time with her mouth as she slid rapidly up and down his length.

“God.” Jake twisted his fingers into her hair and he pumped his hips to meet her. She wanted to encourage him, to tell him just to let go. She wanted him to come deep inside her, to feel his cock jerk as he released.

To make up for her lack of words, her inability to speak, she sucked just that much harder, cupping her tongue around the underside as she let him fuck her mouth. When he came, she removed her fist and let him push deep into her throat. He cried out her name over and over and convulsed beneath her.

“So good,” he groaned as his body went slack.

Clover crawled up his body to lie in the circle of his arms. Maybe she would have preferred a bed, or at least a blanket, but that was just a detail. The important part was that she was with him. That’s all she really cared about.

“Thank you.” She kissed his chest, catching his nipple briefly between her teeth.

Jake laughed. “What for?”

“Letting me take care of you.”

He tightened his hold on her and whispered her new favorite words. “I love you.”