Clouds (16 page)

“That’s okay. You’re on vacation. Get your rest in while you can,” Jana said. “Some devotional books are on the shelf in the living room if you want to have your own quiet time here. We’ll see you in a couple of hours.”

Jana and Mike slipped out the door. The apartment was quiet again. Scanning the shelves for the devotional books Jana mentioned, Shelly quickly lost interest when she thought of how she had grown up hearing morning devotions read from these books. The words of Spurgeon, Moody, Chambers, and other classic Christian writers had been delivered at the breakfast table every morning for years by her father’s rumbling speaker’s voice. She had heard it all. Not that it wasn’t interesting and inspirational, but this morning Shelly didn’t feel up for it.

Settling into a well-worn chair in the corner of the living room, Shelly tucked her feet under her and thought about Jonathan. It surprised her that he hadn’t stopped by the night before to say good-bye. Not that it would have changed anything. Maybe he didn’t want to see her again. Maybe this was his way of getting at her for the abrupt departure she had inflicted on him.

No, she couldn’t believe that. Jonathan wasn’t vindictive. Or at least he hadn’t been. It was possible his heart had changed. Their encounter had been too brief to know. She had certainly changed over the years. Why did she think Jonathan’s character had been unswerving?

I don’t know him anymore. I don’t have the right to assume anything of him, not even friendship
.

Shelly let out a heavy sigh. The roller coaster of her emotions
from the last two days appeared to be coming to a stop.

What has been is in the past. What is forms the present. What will be remains to be seen
.

Satisfied with her philosophy, Shelly headed for the shower. It may not have been the kind of inspiration she would have received from one of the devotional books, but it was solid reasoning she could live with. The jostling of her emotions should not ruin her time in Germany, especially since she may never get here again. Whatever she wanted to see, she should go see.

Today, the plan was to travel to the town of Hilsbach, where her ancestors came from, and to find her great-great-great-grandfather’s grave.

Chapter Fifteen
 

A
fter a warm, luxurious shower, Shelly checked on Meredith. She was still sleeping soundly so Shelly didn’t bother her. Since Meredith had mentioned the night before leaving at noon to search for their ancestor’s grave, Shelly began to wonder if Meredith would feel well enough to go when she woke up. Should Shelly take the car herself, or was it signed out in Meredith’s name only? Would Jana want to go, too? Where could they find a map to locate Hilsbach?

Shelly dressed and applied her makeup. Then she decided she would wake Meredith at eleven-thirty if she wasn’t up already. As Shelly made her way into the kitchen to start the teakettle, she heard the door open and the sound of several voices. Jana and Mike were home, and they had company.

Shelly rounded the corner with a smile, ready to greet Mike and Jana. There stood Jonathan. Elena was right beside him.

“Hi,” everyone seemed to say at once.

“How’s Meredith feeling?” Jana asked, taking off her coat and hanging it on a peg on the wall.

“She’s, ah … she’s still in bed.” Shelly kept her smile lit, but everything else in her had turned off. Her eyes stayed on Jana.

“Do you think she still wants to go with us?” Elena asked. Shelly couldn’t force herself to look at Jonathan’s fiancée.

“To go with us?” Shelly repeated, looking at Jana.

“Yeah,” Elena said. “To go with us to find your grandmother’s house or something.”

“Just a minute,” Shelly said. “I’ll go check on her.” With straight, deliberate steps, Shelly went into the guest room and closed the door behind her. “Meredith,” she stated firmly, “wake up.”

“Yeah?” Meredith turned over and blinked her eyes. “What’s going on?”

“Why don’t you tell me? Why are Jonathan and Elena standing out there in the living room?” Shelly tried to keep her voice low. “What did you say to them?”

Meredith forced herself to sit up. “What time is it?”

“Eleven. Why does that matter? Answer my question.”

Meredith pushed her stringy blond hair off her face. “I really konked out. I didn’t say anything wrong, Shelly. Don’t jump to conclusions. I didn’t think Elena would come.”

“I could use a little more of an explanation than that,” Shelly said, trying to control her temper. “What did you tell them?”

“Will you relax?” Meredith said. “Last night at dinner I told Jonathan that you and I were thinking of going to Hilsbach, and we needed to rent a car. He mentioned that we could use his car since he wasn’t going back to Belgium until Monday, but I never agreed to that. I didn’t think he and Elena would show up here.”

“Not only did they show up here, but Elena asked if you were going with us. Sounds very much as if she plans to go.”

“I’m sorry,” Meredith said defensively. Shelly noticed that Meredith’s eyes were red and her voice raspy. “I’ll go talk to them. May I borrow your robe?” Meredith punctuated her sentence with a series of deep coughs.

“You don’t have to,” Shelly said, backing down. “I’m sure I’m making a bigger deal out of this than it is. You’re not feeling well, are you?”

“I feel awful.”

Shelly let out a sigh. “Stay in bed. Get better. I’ll figure this out. Sorry I jumped all over you.”

“Honest,” Meredith said, covering her mouth as she coughed again, “I didn’t say anything to Jonathan. You know I wouldn’t. I promised.”

“I know. Thanks.” Shelly tried to regain her composure. She left the room, quietly closing the door, and faced the waiting group. Her years of working for the airline had taught her diplomacy. She could handle this situation. “I appreciate you guys coming over, but I’m afraid we’ll have to cancel our plans. Meredith has come down with a cold. Thanks anyway.”

“Don’t you still want to go?” Jana asked. “Hilsbach is only about forty kilometers. You can be there and back in a few short hours.”

“Oh, I don’t know. It’s …” Shelly hadn’t expected any resistance to her backing out since Meredith was sick.

“You don’t know when you’re ever going to be back here again,” Mike said.

“The sun broke through a little while ago,” Jana added. “Could be a nice Sunday-afternoon drive. Besides, you and Jonathan haven’t had time to catch up yet.”

“I’m sure Jonathan and Elena have better things to do than
to spend the afternoon with us,” Shelly said smoothly. She thought it wouldn’t be so bad to go to Hilsbach with Mike and Jana, but since it hadn’t yet been defined who was going on this jaunt, she thought it best to start her own process of elimination.

“Oh,” Jana said. “Mike and I weren’t planning to go. We have a counseling situation with one of our staff members that will pretty much take all afternoon.”

“You, Jonathan, and Elena should go,” Mike urged. “Have some fun. To be honest with you, we kind of need you out of the house while we have this counseling meeting. It’s okay for Meredith to stay, of course, since she’s in bed, but our place isn’t really big enough to have a private meeting.”

“So we’re going to go?” Elena said.

Shelly glanced at her and gave a sweeping glance at Jonathan, trying to read his expression. The smile was there. The eyes were looking down at the keys in his hand. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking. It had been too long. Not a jot of their former mind reading remained.

There seemed to be no choice. “I guess we are.” She checked her jeans, black turtleneck, and black ankle boots and decided she should be warm enough with her jacket and a scarf. Her hair was pulled up in a loose French twist, which she usually wore at work. It showed off her small gold hoop earrings. “I’ll grab my jacket,” Shelly said.

Hurrying back into the bedroom, she reached for her thin-strapped shoulder pouch that held her passport, driver’s license, and money.

“Are you going?” Meredith asked and then blew her nose.

“I guess I am,” Shelly said. “Mike and Jana pretty much let me know this is what I need to do.”

“You’ll be fine,” Meredith said.

“Do you want me to bring you anything?” Shelly asked, reaching for her paisley scarf and her jacket.

“No, I think I’ll be okay. Why don’t you take my camera? It’s on top of the desk.” Meredith turned over and coughed again. As Shelly was about to leave, Meredith said, “I’ll pray for you.”

Shelly laughed. “Thanks, but I think it’s a little too late for that.”

Jonathan and Elena led the way to his car, which was parked down at the end of the next street because parking was such a problem in the old town. At least with the two of them walking ahead of her, Shelly could find her pace and catch her breath. The sun had gone behind the clouds and then reappeared for a moment. The air was cool, much cooler than it had been her first day here, and Shelly was glad for her warm jacket. She felt no emotions. She wasn’t nervous, remorseful, or angry. Only cold.

Jonathan unlocked the car doors, and Elena climbed into the backseat stating, “You’re our guest, Shelly. You ride in the front.”

Shelly hesitated, then got in. It felt strange. She hadn’t been in the front seat of a car with Jonathan since that night in his friend’s truck. This was awkward.

“I have a map,” Jonathan said, reaching down next to his seat and pulling it out. He handed it to Shelly. “Is the name of the town Hilsbach?”

“Yes. I have the information here.” She pulled out the note from her grandmother and unfolded it. “It doesn’t say much. Just ‘C. C. Rudi, October 5, 1827
, Evangelische Kirche
, 1509, Hilsbach, Baden.’ Then she left a space and wrote, ‘Weiler, Ludwig Rudi, St. Annakapella.’ Does any of that make sense to you?”

Jonathan kept looking straight ahead and drove down the street out of Heidelberg. “I’m not sure. Your grandfather is C. C. Rudi, right?”

“Great-great-great-grandfather. On my mom’s side. I think he’s the one who was the pastor in Hilsbach.”

“At the
Evangelische Kirche
, no doubt,” Jonathan said.

“What is that?” Shelly asked. It seemed easier to talk with a common goal to work on.

“The church. In most German towns there’s the Catholic church and then the church that came about as a result of the Reformation. That’s probably where your grandfather preached.”

“I guess,” Shelly said. “You know, this could all be a worthless goose chase. If you guys want to just drop me at a museum or something, I’d completely understand. You don’t have to do this.”

“It was my idea,” Elena said from the backseat.

Shelly turned around and forced herself to make eye contact with Elena.

“Listen, Shelly,” Elena said, leaning forward, “Johnny told me that you two were best friends when you were growing up. I think that’s so cool. I also thought it might seem kind of uncomfortable for you to show up and have us announce our engagement and everything, since you didn’t know before you got here.”

Shelly didn’t mean to, but she looked away, as if something out the window required her sudden attention. “I was the one who crashed your party,” she said. “I mean, I should have let Jonathan know I was coming.”

“I’m just glad you came,” Elena said. “I wanted you and me to have a chance to get to know each other. To hear Johnny tell it, you two were inseparable the whole time you were growing up. Besides his parents, you’re the closest thing he has to a relative.”

Shelly pursed her lips.

“Since I haven’t met anyone else in his family, I wanted to
get to know you,” Elena said. “I hope we haven’t been too pushy about it.”

“Actually,” Jonathan said, adding to Elena’s sentence, “I wanted to spend some time with you, too. I thought it might be good.”

Shelly nodded slowly and tried to find all her professional, accommodating responses. “I appreciate both of you being so thoughtful. Thanks for giving up your Sunday afternoon to drive me around.”

“So, tell me about yourself,” Elena said. “Johnny says you’re a flight attendant.”

“Yes.”

“It sounds exciting. What’s it like?”

“I don’t know. It’s, ah … it’s actually not as glamorous and exciting as you might think.” Shelly wondered if Jonathan picked up any hidden meaning in her words. Would he perceive that her endeavor to go off and see the world hadn’t panned out the way she had hoped?

“And you live in California? Is that right?”

“I did,” Shelly said. It felt underhanded communicating information to Jonathan through Elena’s questions. “I recently moved back to Seattle.” She was ready to drop the big shocker that she lived in the Tulip Cottage on Whidbey Island, but somehow Shelly couldn’t bring herself to slip that information to Jonathan. Perhaps Meredith had already told him anyway.

“Where are you from?” Shelly said, eager to turn the attention off herself.

“Akron. I grew up there. I came over this summer on an outreach trip with my church youth group, and then I decided to stay.”

“How long have you been here?”

“Since the middle of June,” Elena said.

Shelly did a quick count.
Four months? You’ve known this girl
less than four months, Jonathan?