Clouds Below the Mountains (26 page)

Lucy had only just gone out of the restaurant door, when Mikey slid into the chair that she had just vacated. It was as if he had appeared from nowhere.

“Good evening, young lady,” he said, with a smirk on his face. “ I just came in to get a coffee while my minions are playing with the Minis and who should I see, but my favourite countrywoman sitting all alone. So I said to myself, I must go over and give her the benefit of my company. So Jenni, have you had a nice day?”

“It was fine thanks. I just read my book and tried to get a bit more of a suntan,” she said politely, hoping that he would drink his coffee quickly and go.

“I noticed you. Very fetching I thought, when I saw you in your skimpy bikini. Especially as peach really suits you. So, where do you live in England, Jenni? From your accent, I'd say from around Blackburn or Burnley. You don't mind if I light up, by the way?”

“ No, you go ahead, there's an ashtray on the next table. I actually come from Bolton which isn't too far away from Blackburn and I'd say you were from Liverpool listening to your accent.”

“Well, your guess was easy seeing as I'm a Scouser,” Mikey said smiling engagingly. “ But my family has moved to Widnes, where we've got a very good rugby club.”

“And Bolton has an excellent football club,” said Jenny, relaxing a bit more in the young man's company as he was so easy to talk with. “ At the moment they're at a place called Burnden Park, but they'll be moving into a new stadium soon, at a place called Horwich.”

“So, what do you do for a living in your piece of paradise?” he asked, trying to keep their conversation going, as up to now this pretty little thing hadn't rejected his advances.

“Oh, I'm still at school studying for my A levels. I'm not really sure what I want to do after I've passed my exams.”

“Well, you do surprise me. I thought a sophisticated young lady like you, would work in a bank or a travel agency, or maybe on reception in a posh hotel.”

“Give over,” Jenni giggled, blushing at the compliments Mikey was giving her. “I still wear a school blazer and when I have to, a straw boater for a hat.”

“Well, you could knock me down with a feather, “ he quipped, then quickly looking at his watch said he must be gone. “Time and tide waits for no man,” Mikey said, getting to his feet, then after giving Jenni a friendly squeeze on her shoulder, was pleased that she didn't shrug him off as he expected her to. Maybe he would give her his mobile number next time he had chance to speak with her. He would be going back to the U.K himself at Easter and there wasn't so many miles between Widnes and her home town.

“I hope that Mikey was not bothering you,” said Miguel, as he came over purposefully to collect the used coffee cups.

“No, he was just being friendly,” Jenni answered casually, seeing the jealous look in the waiter's eyes.

“What time do you finish your shift?”, she asked quickly, in order to divert him.

“I will be able to spend a little time with you later,” he said, his good humour restored as he looked at her tenderly. “I think I may have a plan that I can speak of.”

Jenni picked up her cardi' and prepared to leave the table. “A plan?” she asked, looking puzzled. “Oh, you mean a plan for us to keep in touch when I go back to England? You can tell me all about it, when I see you later in the Sunlight Bar.”

She walked away from him feeling a sudden burst of happiness, Miguel was certainly insistent that this wasn't a holiday fling.

***

“Ladies and Gentlemen, Bingo in ten minutes. Last few tickets still on sale, come and get them before they disappear,” said Mikey into his microphone. “ Then later we'll have the pleasure of listening to Ronnie Mc Fee, a comedian brought all the way over from England to entertain yer, at great expense to the management. A very funny fella, I hope you'll all agree.”

He moved out of range of his microphone and spoke quickly to Damion. “ Get amongst the punters will yer and get rid of these tickets, otherwise we'll be down on our profits like we were last week.”

***

“Evening gents,” said Greg, walking up to where Paul and Steve were sitting on bar stools enjoying their drinks. “Mind if I join you?”

“Feel free,” replied Paul, pulling out a bar stool next to him and offering it to Greg.

“I wondered how your wife was Steve. Kate heard that she had gone into hospital from the old lady over there. I hope it's nothing serious.”

“Nothing that can't be put right when she gets home, Greg. She's been off colour for the last few days, that's why you haven't seen much of us. Thank goodness there was the kid's club for Emily.”

“And Paul, I hear things didn't go so well today,” Greg continued. “ Women eh, what can you do with them?”

“I'm keeping out of it,” Paul said, then turned to Steve to explain. “A bit of a fallout between Sonya and Cheryl.”

“Know what you mean”, said Steve grimacing. “ Sometimes it's best to just let them get on with it.”

***

“You'll sit with me and your mother, Joanne,” said Ray Keegan sternly to his daughter, as she tried to slope off after dinner to play pool with the boys she had met that morning.

“But I promised Andy and Kevin that I'd meet them and they'll be waiting for me in the Games Room,” Joanne wailed, seeing a boring evening ahead of her, trapped alongside her parents.

“I don't care what arrangements you've made, you'll come and watch this comedian chappie and like it, or I'll take you straight up to the room.”

“Oh, Dad, I'm not a child anymore. You can't keep me by your side all of the holiday,” she pouted, folding her arms to hide the low plunge neckline of the top she had borrowed from her Mum.

“I can and I will,” Ray retorted, his voice getting louder as he looked upon his daughter with anger. “You're still a child, even if your mother lets you dress like you're eighteen and that's another thing, Tricia, what the hell is she doing wearing your blouse?”

His wife glared at both of them. She was fed up with all the bickering and had been looking forward to a bit of peace. “Ray, cut her a bit of slack, will you?,” she said. “We came here to get away from all the upset we had at home and to try and repair the cracks in our little family. She's got my blouse on, because she only packed one long sleeved shirt, the T' shirt she had on today, a pair of shorts, a pair of jeans and the rest she wore to come in. I'm not going to spend my holiday hand washing her stuff every night, so she'll have to borrow or you buy her some more.”

“She can wrap you round her little finger, Tricia,” Ray said resignedly. “ Right, you've ‘til nine o'clock lady and then I want you in the Sunlight Bar. No going out of the hotel grounds or sneaking off to any of the boy's bedrooms and from time to time I'll be coming to check up on you.”

“You know, I'm sure if I rang Childline they'd say this was a form of abuse. I'm on my holidays and I should be enjoying myself,” Joanne said cheekily, ready to start running in case her father gave her a slap.

“I'd quit while you're ahead, young lady,” said her mother warningly, as she saw her husband go puce in the face.

***

“Well, Jean, are the drinks on you tonight?” asked Harry Wilkinson, tongue in cheek as of course they were All Inclusive.

“No, I'm saving my winnings for tomorrow. I'm going to treat Doreen and Milly to afternoon tea on the sea front.”

Jean was aglow, as she had won the full house on Bingo which had been the equivalent of thirty eight pounds in sterling. She decided that some of it was for sharing, some was for spending and if there was any left, she'd put it in her Post Office savings bank at home. After they had been to the cafe, she was intent on buying a pair of sparkly sandals that she had seen in one of the sea front shops.

“Then I shall go to the bar and stand you a glass of champagne,” Harry said, his normally sad looking eyes twinkling with good humour. “ What about you two ladies, would you like to join Jean and I in a toast?”

***

A strangely dressed man in his late fifties, climbed onto the stage and Mikey introduced him to the audience, as Ronnie. He was wearing a black morning suit jacket over a white T' shirt, a pair of tight blue denim jeans, grubby white trainers and a curly white wig. Not shaving for a few days had resulted in a grey stubble on his face and chin, which added to his unkempt appearance. He carried a cardboard box under his arm that probably held his stage props.

“You'll be wondering what I've got in this box?” was his opening gambit, delivered in a Liverpudlian accent with a hint of Irish. “ Nothing,” he laughed, showing the empty box to the audience, which brought a smile to the faces of the children, who had been allowed to stay up and watch. He proceeded to place the box carefully onto the table that had been provided and continued with a warmup.

“Is anyone here from the U.K?”, he asked, knowing full well that there were only British staying at the Valia. Everyone shouted “yes.”

“Anyone from Manchester?” “ Yes”, a few of the audience shouted.

“I had a mate who lived in Manchester and he loved a game of golf. One morning he was on the golf course playing with his local vicar, he came to a hole where he had a three foot putt and unfortunately he missed.

“Bugger, I missed,” he said to the vicar.

“If you say that bad word again, God will send a bolt of lightening upon you,” said the vicar, annoyed with my mate's language.

“Sorry, Vicar,” said my mate and carried on with the game. He got to the next hole and this time he had a two foot putt, once again he missed, was annoyed again and said “bugger, missed”.

Suddenly the heavens opened and a bolt of lightening came down, but it missed my mate and killed the vicar.

And a voice from the heavens said, “ bugger, missed.”

“Ohhhhh,” groaned the audience, not very impressed with the comedian's first joke.

“Moving swiftly on. A bobby on the beat stood in the street watching the world go by. Suddenly a man leading a penguin by a piece of string came along.”

Here the comedian did a shuffle aping the penguin.

“Hey,” said the policeman, “ what are you doing with that penguin?”

“I'm taking it for a walk,” the man answered.

“Well, take it to the zoo,” said the policeman.

“Aye, Sir, I will,” said the man and continued on his way with the penguin.

Next morning the policeman stood in the same place watching the world go by and the man and the penguin came along the street again.

“Hey,” said the policeman, “ I thought I told you yesterday to take that penguin to the zoo?”

“I did take him to the zoo,” said the man “ and he enjoyed himself so much, that I'm taking him to the circus today.”

That joke went down very well, even the adults thought it amusing.

“Anybody from Jersey?”, asked the man, hoping his next joke would bring even more appreciation from the audience. Nobody said they were.

“The kiddies will like this one,” said Ronnie. “ There was once a Mummy potato who had three potato daughters. One day she told them that they had to go out and find themselves a husband each, because they couldn't laze around at home. “ Make sure you bring back quality potatoes as your husbands,” she said, “ I don't want any poor ones brought back home.”

The daughters went off and a few days later, one of them came back, very excited with her new husband.

“Mum,” she said, “ this is my husband, he's a Jersey Royal.”

“Well done”, said the mother, “ I hope your sisters do as well as you have.”

The next day the second daughter came back with her new husband.

“Mum,” she cried, “ haven't I done well for myself, my husband is a King Edward?”

The Mummy potato was very happy, because her two daughters had done so well.

Next day the last daughter came in, very excited and smiling happily.

“Mum,” she said, “ I've done really well, I've married Des Lynam!”

The mother looked at her daughter in horror and said, “ but darling, he's a common tater.”

The grownups thought that joke was funny and there was a ripple of applause, Ronnie laboured on.

“As you can tell I'm from Liverpool, anyone else from Liver bird city?” Only Mikey said he was.

“I'm from a musical family meself, although I was a bus conductor before I decided to become a comedian. Anyway, as well as being musical a lot of my ancestors were sea going people. In fact my grandfather played the piano on the Titanic and he seemed to go down very well.”

Another groan from the audience decided Ronnie to move swiftly on again. One more joke and he'd cut to the empty box.

“I said before that I used to be a bus conductor. One day I was standing on the platform of my bus and it stopped for a lady, who had put her hand out.

“Is this bus going to Speke?,” she asked, getting ready to board the bus with her shopping bags.

“I said to her, “ well I've been on it since seven o' clock this morning and it hasn't spoken yet!”

“Now back to the box. It's an empty box, isn't it audience?”

***

“Oh, this is so boring,” groaned Anna to Lucy, who was sitting next to her at the table where Jenni and Tina also sat. “ I don't understand what the man is saying half of the time.”

“It's just silly humour,” Lucy replied. “ Directed at an audience, that by now should be feeling quite merry and so are not expecting too much from him.”

“Well, I don't understand your English sense of humour,” she complained. “ What is funny about a lot of potatoes and they wouldn't have a mother anyway?”

“Let's have another drink,” said Lucy. “ After a couple more bacardi and cokes, you'll think he's hilarious.”