Closed Off To You (Singing Star Trilogy #1) (17 page)

Chapter Fifteen

“So, you see the markers on the floor? Memorise them for tonight’s performance. You have your choreography down, but you have to make sure you know how to use the stage. Let’s do it one more time.” The producer gestured to the lighting man.

Natasha stood at the side of the stage, her hands on her leather clad hips. She nodded once when we looked over to her. She had been our mentor all week. And a supportive friend.

“Melissa,” Lizzie whispered to get my attention. “You’re getting better.”

Her smile made me upbeat. She meant it. I had been rehearsing my arse off. Almost literally. When I sat on the toilet and everything.

We stepped to our starting place and looked out into the arena. The lights were high as workers set up the chairs on the floor. The panel sat just in front of the stage, waiting for the judges to sit behind it.

I bit my lip as I swallowed. My stomach was queasy as I imagined how full the whole place would be that evening. In less than six hours, we would perform live to a huge audience.

“Melissa, focus only on what you’re doing, not on what’s going on out there.” Natasha’s nasal tone carried over the noise.

The beat of our first song blared out of the speakers around us. We practised our performance, yet again. Natasha called a halt half way through. Coming over, she dragged us together.

“You’ve been working hard this week. I’ve noticed some distance from you since yesterday, Melissa, is there something going on?”

It was almost impossible to look her in the eye. Lizzie and Ella had berated me for brooding over Nathan when so much was at stake.

“She’s okay, she-”

Natasha held up her hand when Lizzie came to my defence. “I asked Melissa.”

Clearing my throat, I shook my head. “Not anymore, no. I’m sorry.”

I wouldn’t go into details. Natasha wasn’t stupid, she would know how it worked. Contestants lived together closely for weeks. There was bound to be some sort of drama between them.

“Your voice is stronger than I’ve ever heard it today, but I’m not feeling connected to you. Lizzie and Ella are telling their story. You’re hiding yours. What are you hiding from? Think about that when you perform. Adele is a songstress that conveys emotion beautifully. To take on one of her songs is brave, but you can do it. I’ve heard you do it this week.” Natasha grasped my hand in hers in a rare show of affection.

Her words hit a chord in me. My heart beat rapidly as she took my other hand and squeezed.

“Don’t do it for anyone else. Just do it for yourself. Prove that you can do it. Because I know you can.”

Tears sprung to my eyes so quickly, they fell down my cheeks when I blinked. The week had been like a pressure cooker building to a crescendo. We had sung every day for hours, practising our performance. A small choreographed dance routine had been added in a few days before the first show. Something to liven us up on the second song.

“You’re right. I can do it.”

Our mentor marched off stage, waving at the producer to continue. A camera swung around us as we took our places and prepared ourselves. There were so many people involved in bringing the show alive, it was hard to keep up.

“Remember to look into camera one when it comes closer,” the producer shouted as the music started to play.

The performance was flawless. We busted out the moves and let our voices carry through the arena. Natasha had given me the kick up the arse I needed. When I sang, I looked into the camera. I opened my throat wide to allow projection. I remembered to convey feeling to the audience of workers.

As the last bars of our second song came to a close, I clapped my hands together. For the first time all week, I hadn’t thought about Nathan once while singing. I had turned a corner. I was embracing the opportunity to perform on live television, and I was going to give it everything I had.

*

My fingers wouldn’t stop shaking. The lady in front of me smiled kindly when she handed me a glass of water and it wobbled all over the place.

“I’ve just got your mascara left to do. You’ll be fine.”

She was the makeup artist. A kind young girl, probably in her twenties. Her face was plastered with mountains of makeup. I could tell that she was completely beautiful without it. Just her energy was calming.

Would she help Nathan with his stage makeup? He probably looked good with a bit mascara. Maybe they would make him wear guy-liner and turn him into a bit of a rocker. I giggled as I pictured him all dressed up. My mirth quickly cut off when my pulse started to rise. Maybe it was a good job they weren’t putting him in guy-liner, I wasn’t sure if I could resist him if he was dressed up. I had a thing for broody singers.

“Are you scared?” asked a fellow contestant from a few seats down.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I had never worn so much makeup in my life, preferring to go natural most of the time. “Yes. I’m bloody nervous. I’m petrified. I’m so scared, I’ll probably pee myself.”

Ella tutted as the makeup artist leant forward and started to apply mascara to my eyelashes. The production team were in full swing. The judges were in their dressing rooms. Cameramen were on standby, ready to shoot the show. My poor stomach churned as I tried not to think about the people in the arena.

“We’re going to rock it. We’re all single amazing ladies. We’ll be able to have any man we like after being on television tonight,” Lizzie announced.

The makeup artist smiled down at me. “I’m sorry,” I apologised as she pulled the mascara wand away.

“Don’t worry, we get a lot worse in here.”

Lizzie huffed in the seat beside me.

“No, I didn’t mean you, sorry,” the girl said.

I tried to bite away my giggle, but it came anyway.

The team had styled my hair better than it had ever looked. Soft waves sat gently on my shoulders. My lips were painted burgundy red and my eyes were lined with a subtle black liner.

“Don’t laugh,” Lizzie said. “When I spoke to Nathan, he agreed with me. You’ll be able to pull any man you want.”

My good humour immediately vanished. “You spoke to Nathan?”

I shouldn’t have asked. It was none of my business what Lizzie and Nathan spoke about. When had they spoken? Why couldn’t I stop asking questions in my head?

It didn’t matter what Nathan did. It didn’t matter what Lizzie did. If they were going to hook up, then they would. The right man would come in when he was supposed to. It might hurt to see Lizzie and Nathan together, but that was their business, not mine.

“I was in the park yesterday. I saw him on a bench. We had a little chat, that’s all. I can’t believe you thought I liked him. As soon as you or Ella stake a claim, that man becomes off-limits to me. Even if Nathan is amazing.”

“Is that
the
Nathan on the show you’re talking about?” the makeup girl asked.

I bit my lip. It was stupid to ask Lizzie about their conversation. The girl was sure to spread rumours that something was going on between us.

“No. I hadn’t even realised there were two Nathan’s,” Lizzie lied. “I met this one in the cafe the other day.” Lizzie quickly covered our tracks, thankfully. She wasn’t as convincing as I would have liked, but the stylist accepted her answer.

“I’m sorry. You know how I am…” I let my sentence trail off as the stylist stood back and appraised her work.

“You’re so amazing. You deserve someone that matches that amazingness.” Lizzie had always been free with her opinion and it was always honest. I appreciated that, but it hurt sometimes. Not because my best friend told me what was best for me, but because I knew she was right.

My heart pounded at the thought of nothing ever happening with Nathan again. I had to be strong. I wouldn’t be friends with benefits with anyone. I was well over the age of messing around. Maybe it was time to act it.

“Can we not talk about this? We have to go on stage and sing our little hearts out. Life is amazing for us right now. Let’s just have fun.”

Plastering a smile on my face, I turned to Lizzie. Our jaws dropped as we looked at each other. We looked stunning. I bit back the tears that threatened to come. Lizzie looked beautiful, even more than usual. It wasn’t our makeovers that made me sad, it was looking into her eyes. She saw me for who I was and wanted only the best.

“I love you.” I got out of my chair and wrapped my arms around her.

“Don’t cry!” the makeup girl whined.

“Don’t leave me out,” Ella moaned from her seat.

Trying not to blink, I tilted my head back to get rid of the tears as Ella rushed over. I managed to swallow the threat before they completely filled my eyes. Lizzie did the same.

“Let’s enjoy this,” I said to them.

I meant it, too. It had been a crazy week, constantly singing, constantly practising. Constantly trying to be the best that we could. It was tiring being that person, but it was also rewarding. No matter what happened on stage, I was proud to call Lizzie and Ella my best friends. Once we had got past my awkwardness, we had somehow grown even closer.

“Okay, you’re ready. It’s not long until you’ll be on stage.” A producer approached and gestured for us to follow.

Our wait in the dressing room was over. Our first ever live performance on a television show was about to happen.

My whole body shook as Lizzie dragged me along behind her.

I hadn’t seen Nathan since the day before. Why had Lizzie spoken to him? I had no idea what they’d talked about. It probably wasn’t good. Not that it mattered, it was over. It was time to get on with my life and have fun while doing it.

The producer rushed us down the corridor. The applause of the crowd vibrated around us as we were led to the back of the stage. Three acts had already performed and it was our turn next. We would sing two songs back to back before retreating to the green room while the other acts had their go. It was going to be a long night.

“Melissa!” someone shouted from behind.

I turned, almost tripping when my heel caught on a wire. A hand caught my elbow. I recognised the touch instantly. When the smell of him filtered up my nose, my eyes closed briefly.

“You look amazing. Really beautiful,” Nathan said.

As I straightened, I looked up into his eyes. They were the darkest blue I’d ever seen them. The touch of mascara made them look amazing. I could fall straight into his gaze.

“So do you,” I muttered, admiring the ripped jeans and tight black shirt. They had played up the bad boy appeal. It was a good move.

“I’ve never seen you in something so short before.”

His eyes ran down the black dress, his gaze landing on my boobs. I had made sure those babies couldn’t go anywhere, putting on a tight subtle bra. A fight with the stylist had almost broken out when she tried to insist that I wore pretty underwear. The last thing I needed was my mighty tits bouncing around the stage. We were going to be novelty enough as it was.

“I rarely wear dresses.” I bit my tongue. I had never been any good at small talk.

Why had Nathan run down the corridor to speak to me?

“You can do this.” He took my hands and looked down at me with such intensity, I shivered.

The warmth from his body enveloped me. I let it soothe me as my stomach flitted between butterflies and nausea. I had to get away from him. Otherwise, I might puke all over his nice clothes.

“Good luck. I’ll see you at the end.” Lifting his hand, I kissed his knuckle before I let go.

He stopped me with a hand on my forearm. “Good luck to you, too.” Leaning down, he planted a gentle kiss on my cheek, in the exact same place I had kissed him the day before.

My heart went into my throat when I looked up at him. His smile was genuine and soft. Nothing like his usual cheeky grin.

Ducking my head, I turned and left him standing there. When I checked over my shoulder, he still watched me, that tender smile lighting his face.

“I told him to leave you alone,” Lizzie hissed at me as I joined her by the steps at the side of the stage.

I peeked through the curtain that hid us from view. Thousands of people cheered in their seats as the last group left the stage. I clenched my hands into fists as their faces blurred into one.

Live TV had its own mind, so we had to make sure we did everything perfectly. All week we had listened as we were dictated to. What to wear. Where to go. How to dance. It was time to show the world what we had been working on. My palms slipped against each other as I stepped away from the curtain. I had to focus on something else before I bolted.

“Why did you do that? What did you actually say to him?”

Nathan’s energy had changed when he’d seen me. He seemed lighter somehow. Had he finally grasped that we were only going to be friends?

“I think we need to talk about it after the show. We need to concentrate on what we’re about to do,” Ella interrupted.

She grabbed each of our hands and squeezed tight.

“They’re just doing the introduction. You’ll be going on stage in a few minutes. Are you ready?” the producer asked.