Clockwork Blue (78 page)

"
What?
"

"
I talked to Lady Teresa, and she said you loved the law.
"

"
You talked to Teresa about me? No, don
'
t even answer because I don
'
t want to know.
"
He paced, miserable.
"
I was barely out of leading strings. I grew out of that momentary interest in things legal.
"
He gave her his coldest look.
"
Your point?"

"
You deny yourself everyt
hing you enjoy. A sort of self-
inflicted punishment—
"

"
Why do you continue to blather about this?
"

"
Admit it. You loved William, so you would not have killed him.
"

"
It
'
s not that simple. Don
'
t you see the evil inside of me? Everyone else does. My father certainly did. And so did William. Of course
,
he loved me despite it.
"

"
Come with me,
"
Nicola
said and suddenly took him by the hand.

Wariness stole over
Malcolm
.
"
Where?
"

"
Just indulge me.
"

She led him through the halls and out the door. Although he could have easily pulled away from her grasp, he didn
'
t—but he put up a token resistance.
"
I don
'
t have time for this,
Nicola
. I have an engagement in an hour with my steward.
"

"
He can wait. Besides, this won
'
t take long.
"
Continuing to grasp him firmly, she led him into the woods.

He allowed himself to enjoy the strength of her slender hand as she led him farther into the canopy of trees, the scent of moist earth heavy in the air.

"
Nicola
?
"

"
We
'
re almost there,
"
she replied, dodging a thorny vine.

He wasn
'
t certain where she was going until she jumped over the small creek and turned toward the bluff. His abrupt halt jerked her to a stop.
"
What is this nonsense? Are you trying to twist the knife of remorse just a little harder?
"

To his amazement, her e
ye
s welled with tears.
"
No, my love. I want to relieve you of your pain so you can finally heal.
"

The sympathetic worship in her soft green gaze was like the sun shining on the sharp icicle that had encased his grief for so long. He did the only logical thing to preserve himself. He retreated, pulled away.

"
Just like a woman to want to change me.
"
Glaring, he took an aggressive step forward.
"
I
'
m not one of your d
ye
s to manipulate until it suits you. What you see is what you get.
"

"
That would be fine if it were true. But what I see is a man who wants to live a good life, who
'
s suffering from what he believes is crimes of his past. The incident with William is crippling you, hindering you from enjoying all life
'
s joys.
"

"
There is no joy. Haven
'
t you figured that out by now? There is only momentary pleasure.
"
He took a step back.

"
If you
'
re about to run, do so now. But I
'
m going to continue up the hill to see if I can glean some truth regarding the circumstances of this tragedy.
"
She pivoted and marched up the hill, her determined step reminding him of some ancient warrior princess facing a dragon. What could she prove? He didn
'
t know. But he found himself morbidly fascinated. He had not come to this bluff again and had never thought to do so.

He
hadn't
quite realize
d
he was following her until she stopped and looked at him.
"
This is where I imagine you were standing when the incident occurred.
"
She grabbed a broken limb.
"
I
'
ll mark the place.
"
She pushed the end into the rich soil. Turning, she headed toward the
drop-off
covered by thick undergrowth and vines, coming precariously close to the edge.

As swiftly as he could, he grabbed her arm, his heart hammering, stunned that she uncannily knew so much about the incident. On the heels of that realization, fear over seeing her near the edge, at the exact spot from which his brother had fallen, caused his heart to stop.
"
You
are a danger to yourself.
"

Rotating, she gave him a beatific smile.
"
See? You
'
re no murderer. You warned me before I took that fatal step.
"

"
Bloody hell, woman, I have no reason to want you to die.
"

"
And William?
"

"
People say I wanted the title, and perhaps I did.
"

Scoffing, she rolled her
eyes
.
"
I don
'
t believe it,
"
she said.
"
Now where was I? Ah,
ye
s. William stood in front of you.
"
With a delicate finger, she indicated the spot.
"
His back faced the cliff.
"

"
You were in Nottingham when I killed my brother." Although he wasn't certain of this, he said it as a statement.

"I was."

"
Did you follow us up here?
"
he asked, suddenly suspicious.

"
No,
"
she replied in a calm tone.

"
Then how do you know where we stood?
"

"
You
'
re not going to like my answer.
"

"
Tell me anyway.
"

"
Remember how Lady Charlotte said she dreamed about me and, therefore, begged Clarence to include my name on that
invitation? The pixies were responsible
, and I think they used their magic to give me a dream about the past.
"

"
I would be more apt to believe that you have the sight,
"
he muttered, wondering why he had been shackled with such a woman.

"
To return to my dream, I don
'
t know what sort of animal William saw when he stopped here, so close to the edge, but he looked out over the cliff. In the dream, I had the feeling it was a deer or a boar. He motioned for you to halt and pointed, slowly taking aim. You wanted to shoot the beast before he did, so you nudged him out of the way. William fell and hit his head.
"

"
You
'
re right about one thing.
"

"
Only one?
"

"
You have the location correct. But we had quit hunting.
"
He pulled her back from the bluff.

"
What were you doing?
"

"
We were arguing about the rightness of Father
'
s decision to give Windsor Manor to William instead of me.
"

"
Why would your father do that? Teresa said it was customary for the Earl of Falconwood to give his second son an estate on his twenty-first birthday. It was a known fact that the Earl bought Windsor Manor for you.
"

"
I
'
ll wager that wasn
'
t all she said,
"
he muttered.
"
Why don
'
t you listen to Teresa
'
s very valid warnings about me?
"

"
Because she
'
s wrong, and I wager she
'
ll come to the right conclusions about you and herself very soon. Did you know that she goes to the Madam Electra
'
s
so that she can talk to William
?
"