Clipped Wings (18 page)

He latched onto the inside of the doorframe. “Please? Come on, Tenley, I promise I’ll be on my best behavior.”

“Fine. Whatever.” My anger masked my embarrassment as I recalled what Hayden’s not-so-good behavior felt like. I couldn’t avoid him forever. Not if I still wanted him as my artist. Better to deal with the situation on my turf than his. The art was secondary, though. I needed his proximity more than I needed the tattoo. Not that I would tell him. I opened the door and moved aside to let him in.

“Nice outfit.” His eyes traveled down and stopped below my knees. “Are those leg warmers?”

“Do you have a problem with them?” I asked, nervous now that the door no longer created a barrier of safety. I had no idea how to approach this.

“Not at all, but you probably wouldn’t need them if you were a little more covered up.”

I was wearing shorts. The leg warmers covered my calves. “Is my artless skin offensive?”

“Hardly. My life would be a lot easier if that was the case.”

“Why are you here? Other than to comment on my choice of sleepwear.”

“That’s what you wear to bed?”

“Why would what I wear to bed matter to you?”

He tapped his temple. “It helps with the . . . never mind. I brought some stuff for TK, and I thought maybe we could have a beer or something.”

“TK?”

“The Kitten.”

He walked around me, put the beer on the counter, and emptied the contents of the bag. There were treats, kitten milk, and a bunch of toys. Hayden sorted the toys and treats into neat piles. He was thoughtful, which frustrated me more.

I walked around the breakfast bar, putting the counter between us. I needed the distance. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know.” He slid a beer across the counter toward me. When I reluctantly took the bottle, he twisted off the cap. I tipped it back, swallowed, and waited.

“You avoided me yesterday.”

He was right. I didn’t respond.

“And you didn’t come by the shop today like you were supposed to.”

“And you’re surprised because—”

“I don’t know why Lisa thought I could do this. I really suck at this shit,” he said, more to himself than to me. “Look, I should be sorry about what happened the last time I was here, but I’m not, and that’s a problem.”

That was
not
at all what I expected to hear. “I’m not quite following.”

He shifted, looking uncomfortable. “We have this rule at the shop, and it’s pretty much the only one I ever try to follow. I don’t sleep with clients.”

I couldn’t imagine Hayden
sleeping
with anyone. I could imagine him doing other things, though. Inside I was flipping out at his inference. The way Hayden was talking, it sounded like he wanted to take it a lot further than the kiss. He was standing in the exact same place he’d been in two nights ago. Except I was on the wrong side of the counter, which made the speculation impossible to confirm.

“Last time I checked, making out isn’t quite the same thing,” I said, maintaining a neutral expression.

“Sorry. Let me clarify. I don’t fuck around with clients.”

“What constitutes ‘fucking around’?”

Hayden’s lip twitched. “What happened when I was here last constitutes fucking around.”

“Right.” I took another sip. I was pushing him on purpose; because I was hurt, because I wanted more and he was telling me in no uncertain terms I couldn’t have him. My natural inclination was to find a way around it. What he offered was so much more than just ink on my skin and the solace of his touch. “So just to make sure I’m completely clear about this, kissing and groping are facets of fucking around.”

“Can you stop saying that?”

“Stop saying what?”

“Fucking around.”

“Why? Does it make you uncomfortable?” I asked.

“No.”

I swore I could hear his teeth grit together. Antagonizing him wasn’t helpful. I could see the issue in getting physically involved with a client, but I doubted Hayden made house calls to other clients or bought their pets toys and treats. He was usually so controlled that breaking some arbitrary rule over me seemed significant.

“Then what’s the problem?” I asked.

“Nothing. Never mind. Say fucking around as much as you want.”

“Would you like to explain the parameters of fucking around? Just so I know.”

His tongue ring appeared between his lips and slid back and forth. He did that a lot around me.

“Just like you said, kissing, groping, anything that would lead to you being naked and underneath me.”

I almost choked on my beer, but I recovered quickly, not wanting to give him the upper hand. “Got it. Because me naked under you would be a bad thing.”

“Very bad,” Hayden agreed. He didn’t launch himself over the counter, but it looked like he wanted to.

“And if I wasn’t your client?”

“But you are.”

“But if I wasn’t?”

Hayden stalked around the counter and stood over me. “
I
am your tattooist. No one else is putting that design on you.”

“Territorial much?”

His nostrils flared. “Yes.”

“Are you this possessive about all your work?”

“No, just yours.”

The admission pleased me. “What happens when you finish the tattoo?”

Hayden’s lips curled up into a treacherous smile. “The rule doesn’t apply anymore.”

“And what’s the time line on that look like?”

“Best-case scenario? Two months at the very least.”

Two months would feel like an eternity. I wondered if Hayden would be able to follow his own rule for two months. I wondered if I would. Especially with him standing over me, close enough to touch, looking at me the way he was.

While the tattoo would give me some of what I craved in the form of his company, it wouldn’t be enough. Not now that I had the memory of his mouth. I didn’t want to be without it for that long. It was about more than the physical connection, even though I was reluctant to acknowledge it.

That unfamiliar longing he incited welled up again, taking over, drowning out reason and logic. Hayden wanted me in the same way I wanted him. His previous actions and our current discussion proved that. In my previous life I might have backed down. But I’d spent enough time playing by rules I didn’t like. Hayden tapped into the part of me that wanted to push the boundaries as far as I could, repercussions be damned. “Just so you’re aware, I think your rule is stupid.”

“You wouldn’t if you knew why we made it in the first place. And don’t ask, because I’m not telling you.”

I had a feeling I might not want to know anyway. Hayden finished his beer and twisted the top off another. “You ready?”

“I’m good.” I held up my half-finished one.

He grabbed the rest of the six-pack and crossed over to the fridge. Opening the door, he froze. “You have no food.”

“I need to get groceries,” I said, stating the obvious.

“Tenley, if you don’t eat properly, your tattoo will take longer to heal and we’ll have to space the sessions further apart.”

“I’ll go tomorrow.”

“Or we could go now.”

“As you noticed, I’m not dressed for grocery shopping. Besides, it’s after ten. Nothing’s open.”

Hayden gave me an incredulous look. “We’re in Chicago—there are twenty-four-hour stores all over the place.”

“Oh.” In Arden Hills stores closed at normal times. I still had no intention of leaving my apartment tonight. Not now that Hayden was here, and especially not after our conversation.

“You could change, unless you want to look like you’re auditioning for
Flashdance
.”

“Aren’t you hilarious.” I gathered up some of the toys he bought. “I’d rather stay here and play with my kitty.”

I left him standing there and headed for my bedroom. “She’s in here,” I said and disappeared through the doorway.

The kitten was right where I left her, curled up on my pillow. I shoved the bra and shirt I forgot to put in the hamper under a pillow as Hayden leaned against the doorjamb and surveyed my room. He looked wary, like he didn’t trust my motives. He was smart. I didn’t trust them, either. The heightened awareness his presence created was difficult to ignore. The only other person who had been in my room was Sarah, and as beautiful as she was, I wasn’t interested in cozying up to her. I dropped the toys on the bed and the kitten lifted her head, blinking sleepily.

“Hi, cutie pie, Hayden brought you some presents.” I scratched between her ears and she rolled over, showing me her belly.

In her excitement, she fell off the pillow and tumbled into the pile of toys. For the next several minutes she pounced around on my comforter, chasing after little balls with bells in them and swatting at catnip mice. I tossed one at Hayden, who was still holding up the doorframe. It hit him in the chest and dropped to the floor. The kitten’s little head bobbed as she gauged the distance and jumped down, skidding across the hardwood. Hayden snatched her up when she got close enough and whispered something I couldn’t hear. He set her down gently and flicked the mouse at his feet into the hallway. She skittered away, mewing loudly.

“Why don’t you come back out here?” Hayden nodded in the direction of the living room.

Before I considered my actions, I slid off the bed and hooked my thumb in the waistband of my sweat shorts. “Did you want to see how my cupcake is healing, first?”

He didn’t answer right away. Instead he looked over at the chair in the corner of my room, covered with scarves and other accessories, and then back at the bed.

“I could do that.” He sauntered over to my dresser, where he deposited his beer.

He gave me a predatory glare as he sat on the edge of the mattress and ran his palms over his thighs. I nudged his legs apart with my knee and stepped between them. His hands stilled as I pushed my shorts down over my hips; I cringed. I’d forgotten about my poor underwear choice; they were horrifically juvenile. Made of white cotton, they boasted a kitty paw print pattern and red piping at the seams. At least I wasn’t wearing the matching bra anymore.

“For fuck’s sake.” Hayden pushed my hands out of the way.

He took over, rolling down the waistband to fully expose the humiliating underwear, his tongue ring clicking furiously. He cleared his throat and hooked his finger under the elastic, drawing it down over the small gauze patch.

“This should have come off yesterday.”

“Sorry.” I started to peel away the tape, but he smacked my hand.

“Don’t touch. I get to do that.”

Fingers sliding back and forth, he slowly shimmied my underwear below the bandage. If he lowered them farther, he’d be looking at more than my tattoo. He peeled the gauze back and removed it carefully. Folding it in half, he placed it on the comforter and circled the design with his finger. I wanted more of his touch, the desire acute now that I couldn’t have it.

“How does it look?” I asked, head bowed. My hair fell forward and caressed his hand. I gathered it up so it wouldn’t impede his view.

“Fantastic.”

His hands were wrapped around my hips, thumbs sinfully close to the crest of my pubic bone. This was the kind of touch I wanted. I willed his fingers to drift lower and take away the ache, at least temporarily. “It’s healing well? Does that mean we can keep the appointment for next week?”

“Yeah.” He licked his bottom lip as he continued to inspect the tattoo.

For someone who felt obligated to abide by a rule, he wasn’t in a hurry to cover my new ink back up. In fact, he seemed inclined to do the opposite.

His hair was in his face again. I ran my fingers through it, pushing it back off his forehead. As terrifying as it was, I wanted to be closer to him. “About that rule . . .”

Hayden’s hands stilled. “What about it?”

“Can you explain it to me again, just so I understand?” I watched the strands of dark hair slip between my fingers, unable to look at him, lest I lost my nerve. When it returned to its same unruly state, I ran my fingers through it again.

“No sex with clients.”

“While you’re tattooing them?”

“Right.”

“What if you haven’t started yet?” We had a week before he began the back piece. The possibility that I could quell the ravenous hunger for him held too much appeal for me not to step over the line he wanted to draw.

“Are you giving me a loophole?” His hold tightened.

“Do you want one?” I already knew the answer, but I wanted him to admit it so I wasn’t alone in my need.

Too soon he would be completely off-limits; it made me desperate for more of what I knew he could give me. I didn’t want to be told I couldn’t have this person I wanted, not after having nothing for so long.

“It’s not a good idea, Tenley.”

“That’s not an answer, Hayden.” I traced the contour of his bottom lip.

He closed his eyes. I thought he was going to push me away, but then his shoulders sagged in defeat. He bowed forward, his forehead coming to rest on my lower abdomen. I could feel each humid exhalation with every measured breath he took, and my body warmed in anticipation. He shook his head back and forth against my stomach, a contradiction to the way his hands moved over my ribs and around my back, holding me to him. Stubble chafed my skin as he lifted his head, his chin coming to rest below my navel.

I touched his cheek. “It’s okay to want someone,” I said, as much to myself as to Hayden.

“Who do you want to convince?”

I didn’t have a chance to answer, though. Hayden lowered his head and pressed his lips to my skin. His hand traveled down my spine to my backside and squeezed. One second I was standing between his legs, the next I was laid out on my bed.

He didn’t waste any time. His nose skimmed just above my pubic bone and his lips parted. The warm, wet press of his tongue was a stark contrast to the hard heat of the steel ball piercing through it. I gasped when I felt his teeth.

Hayden dragged my shorts down my thighs and tossed them over the side of the bed. “These.” He snapped the elastic waist of my underwear. “How the hell am I supposed to keep myself in check when you wear these?”

“It wasn’t intentional,” I rasped.

“Bull-fucking-shit.” He hooked his pinkies in either side and removed them, slowly. “You lured me in here.”