Clifftop Fantasies [BDSM Menage Fantasies] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) (14 page)

He came out of the kitchen where he had taken his dishes, wiping his hands on his pants. They faced each other as he put his jacket back on and he grasped her shoulders.

“Good-bye,” he said, kissing her on the forehead. “I’ll see you in two days.”

Allie heard Brad greet someone on the front porch as she closed the door behind him, but she was in too much of a daze to wonder who it was. He was gone. His intention was perfectly clear. He had no interest in running a business with her, and he was probably happy for the opportunity to get out of their relationship so easily, too. Maybe he’d actually been trying to get up the courage to leave her anyway. Maybe he and Jane were planning to go away together.

Jane walked in as if summoned by the thought. Taking one look at Allie’s face, she dropped the briefcase she’d been carrying and hurried over.

“Darling!” Jane threw her arms around Allie. “What’s wrong?”

Allie mentally shook herself. She pulled out of Jane’s embrace and stared coldly at her. “What were you doing with Brad yesterday?” She wanted to add, “And where were you last night?” but that just seemed too dramatic. She didn’t really have the right to ask Jane that question.

“I was trying to talk some sense into him!” Jane protested, looking hurt. “What did you think I was doing?”

Allie debated. There was no point in accusing Jane and Brad of anything. She had no proof, and if Brad was leaving her anyway, what was the point? She shrugged and turned to go back to her own lunch. She wasn’t hungry, but she didn’t really have the desire to do anything more energetic at the moment.

“Sweetie, please tell me that you believe me.” Jane followed her to the table and sat down, putting an imploring hand on Allie’s shoulder.

Allie nodded, resisting the urge to shake the hand off. She picked up her fork and took a bite of the tuna loaf, mostly for an excuse not to talk.

“Ooh, that smells yummy!” Jane jumped up and went toward the kitchen. “I’m starving. Mind if I have just a tiny bit?”

“Go ahead,” Allie called after her.

When Jane came back, gushing enthusiastically over a plate that didn’t look like it would feed a mouse, Allie had come to a decision. She pushed her own plate away and crossed her arms in front of her on the table.

“Jane, why are you here?”

Jane looked up, in the middle of taking a tiny bite. She chewed and swallowed, then smiled broadly.

“You know why I’m here, sweetie,” she protested, reaching over to pat Allie’s hand. “I want to help you.”

“Why?”

Jane took a dainty bite and chewed it thoughtfully. When she was done, she had arranged her face into a serious, practical expression.

“I loved your daddy very much,” she began, and Allie gave an involuntary shudder. She hadn’t thought of her father as “daddy” since she was five.

“And if I can help his daughter in any way, I’m going to do that. Don’t take this wrong.” Jane was leaning toward her as if sharing some kind of secret. “But I know you don’t have a lot of business experience, and frankly, I do. I can help you out here if you’d let me. I have lots of contacts, and together we could make this place into a real success.”

“What kind of contacts?” Jane had her interest in spite of the fact that Allie still didn’t trust her.

“Photography, modeling, business in general. We could set up some really nice photo shoots here, use the house as a background, maybe even make movies. The house is perfect for that.”

“Is that what you were talking to Brad about?” Allie said, unable to control the edge of bitterness that was creeping into her voice.

“Well, yes, partly,” Jane said, sounding hurt. “I knew he was upset about the fact that you had done some pictures, and I wanted to give him the female perspective. Especially since I was the one who let it slip.” Her face turned sad and apologetic, and her eyes glistened a little, as if she was on the verge of tears.

Allie was torn. She didn’t want to believe that Jane was out to sabotage her, but there was something about this conversation that wasn’t ringing exactly true. She simply couldn’t believe that Brad would consider making dirty movies here—and she had no illusions that Jane meant anything else. No doubt the money would be good, but was that the kind of business she wanted? She tried to picture herself serving muffins and hot chocolate to porn stars and cameramen, but it didn’t seem right at all.

“I don’t know,” Allie said finally, shaking her head. “I can’t see that. Brad definitely wouldn’t stay if we were doing that. I think I want it to be a legitimate business or nothing.”

“I’m not so sure,” Jane said. “He seemed like he might be willing to consider it. Did you talk about that when he was here this morning?”

“No, he didn’t mention it,” Allie said. It occurred to her that if Jane really had mentioned it to Brad, he would definitely have said so. It wasn’t something that would have slipped his mind.

“Does he want to go back to Kansas City?”

Allie almost said, “You tell me.” Instead she forced a grim smile onto her face. “I don’t know. He might.”

“And what will you do if he does?”

Allie looked steadily at her. “I will stay here and make this place a success by myself.” It seemed a bit disloyal not to say “with Karl,” but she really didn’t want to get into that with Jane.

Jane smiled indulgently around a mouthful of tuna. “If you really feel that way, I understand completely,” she said. “I might be able to help you get a loan to tide you over until business picks up. What else can I do to help?”

Allie flashed to the letter from the bank, wondering if Jane could actually do anything about that. Then she considered saying, “You can quit trying to push Brad into leaving me,” but it dawned on her then that Karl had been exactly right. Jane was trying to force Allie into making a choice between Brad and the house. If Allie chose the house and Brad left, then Allie would need a new partner, and Jane saw herself stepping easily into that spot. At that point she would no doubt start inviting photographers and models in to have photo shoots, and from there it would only be a small step to bringing in film crews. If money was really tight it wouldn’t take much persuading.

Allie stood and picked up her dishes. “There’s chocolate cake as well,” she said, wondering how much it would require to make Jane put on a pound or two. “Help yourself.”

“Oh, no thank you, sweetie. I’ve already been eating way too much.” Jane’s voice followed her into the kitchen. Allie repeated in a sarcastic undertone, “I’ve been eating way too much,” as she cut herself a piece of the cake and opened the freezer, looking for ice cream.

“I don’t agree. I think you look great,” said a voice behind her, and Allie whirled around, nearly catching the side of her head on the door. Karl was standing in the entryway, smiling.

“What?” she gasped, trying to quiet her racing pulse.

“Sorry if I startled you.” Karl cut a piece of the cake for himself as well and sat down at the kitchen table. “I said I don’t think you’ve been eating too much. Women tend to be way too paranoid about that.”

“I just—Jane said it,” Allie told him, putting the ice cream carton on the table and getting the scoop.

“That figures.” He took it from her and dished them both out a generous helping. Allie looked dubiously at it but then shrugged and dug in. They ate in silence.

“So. I heard a bit of your conversation with Brad,” Karl admitted, putting down his spoon but not looking at her. “You sounded more forceful than normal. What was that about?”

She sighed. “I guess I just felt like we had to come to an understanding. If he’s waiting for me to give up and sell this place, then he needs to know it’s not going to happen. I’m staying here as long as I can. If he doesn’t want to stay with me, then he should leave. I’m not going to stop him, and I’m not going back with him.”

“Do you mean that?” Karl gave her a sidelong look, as if he didn’t want to influence her answer.

She thought about the things she might have said to him last night and blushed. But it didn’t matter. Whether or not he was completely disgusted at her for throwing herself at him, she knew he loved the house, too, and would understand her position. He might want the house for himself, but at least he would respect her desire to keep the business going. She nodded. She might not be a great businesswoman, like Jane said, but she was going to give it her best efforts.

“Okay, then. We are going to have a talk about this place. Wait here.” Karl got up and went into the dining room. When he came back he was carrying Jane’s dishes, which he put in the sink. Then he came back and cleared the table, motioning for her to stay where she was.

When he sat down again, he was looking thoughtfully at her, as if trying to gauge her determination.

“Jane has gone to her room, and I want to ask you a couple questions,” he said finally. “They might surprise you, but remember that I’m doing so for a reason and try to listen with an open mind. Okay?”

Allie nodded. He might be completely out of her league, but there was something about him that attracted her and made her willing to follow his orders. She waited to see what he was going to ask.

“Think back for me to when you were modeling with Charlie. Disregarding any shyness or awkwardness, how did you feel when you were doing it? Did you feel victimized?”

Allie thought back. She had expected the experience to be horrible, demeaning, degrading. There was no way she would have agreed to it if she could have thought of any other way to pay her school bills and help support her mother. But once she’d begun to work with Charlie, he’d been completely professional, helping her relax and see that it was just a job, and she’d realized it wasn’t so bad after all. She’d never told anyone about that aspect of it before, and she was a little embarrassed to admit it now to Karl.

“No. I—I didn’t really mind it,” she admitted. “It felt kind of good at times.”

“Empowering?” he suggested, and she nodded thoughtfully.

“Yeah. It was like…I started to think of it as a performance. Charlie helped me feel brave and confident, at least when I was working. Later, when I met Brad and his family, I knew they’d never approve of what I’d done. That’s when I started to feel ashamed of it, and it’s become a habit, thinking that it was wrong and disgusting.”

Karl nodded, as if it confirmed something he’d known all along. “If you’re determined to make this place a success, we can use that. I don’t mean the pictures, exactly, but I want you to think about the way you felt. If you could help other women come to terms with their sexuality, improve their relationships, and accept their bodies, while making enough to keep this place going, would you want to do that?”

Allie regarded him. “Are you talking about the dirty-movie thing too?”

There was a moment of silence, and then Karl started laughing. Allie watched him in astonishment as he bent over the table, roaring. After a few minutes, he wiped his eyes and calmed down enough to ask, “Jane?”

“Well, yes.” Allie felt a little foolish but wasn’t completely sure why. “She was talking about bringing in models and photographers and then movie crews. She didn’t say porn, but I’m pretty sure that’s what it would turn out to be.”

“I have no doubt you’re right,” Karl said, still chuckling. “No, that’s not what I’m talking about, honey. What I’m talking about is BDSM. Kink. Domination and submission.”

Allie gaped. “What does that have to do with empowering women? Isn’t it about tying people up and hitting them?”

“Well, yes, that and a whole lot more,” Karl admitted. “But it’s also about finding your place, defining who you are and allowing other people to see and appreciate the parts of yourself that you normally keep hidden.”

“I don’t get it,” Allie said. “How does that work?”

“Think about your time as a model. Many people would see that as demeaning, right? Taking your clothes off and allowing yourself to be photographed in a way that will be used for sexual gratification. But you know that it actually helped you to learn to accept and take care of yourself. You weren’t demoralized or diminished by it. It gave you power, and choices, and freedom. Sexual submission is similar. Some assume that it’s just humiliating, that the submissive person is simply being used or is weak.”

Allie nodded, and Karl went on. “But submission can be an extremely fulfilling experience. It expresses an inner need to be both conquered and appreciated. It makes you feel like you’re aligned with something bigger than yourself. Have you ever had the feeling that you wanted to be submissive to someone?”

Allie blushed in spite of herself. She was sure that Karl would be able to tell that he inspired those kinds of feelings in her, but there was no way she wanted to admit that to him.

He smiled. “I think you know what I mean. It adds a layer of intensity to a relationship that’s like nothing else. When you have someone who wants to be submissive to you, it’s kind of like that, too. Dominance and submission create a bond between two people. The dominant receives the benefit of their submission, but there is a huge responsibility that goes along with that benefit. You can’t just do whatever you want with someone who’s submitting to you. You have to take their needs and desires into consideration as well as your own and create a structure that benefits both of you.”

Allie considered it. “I can see what you mean about it possibly intensifying a relationship. But what does that have to do with the bed-and-breakfast?”