Click Here (to find out how i survived seventh grade) (15 page)

Things That Are Not Good

• I think Chris was drunk last night…must still be bummed out about Amanda…guess I’m lucky…at least I haven’t seen Mark kissing anyone and I don’t think he has a girlfriend.

• Mark was staring at Jilly at the Halloween party.

• I don’t think Mark realizes Jilly doesn’t look like that normally. She does not have boobs yet; well just the beginnings of some. Ok, they have gone from nipples poking out (that’s about where mine are) to little tiny mounds. But I mean little…check out a Mounds bar and you’ll get the idea.

• She also doesn’t wear all that makeup. Her mom lets her wear a little eyeshadow and mascara and some blush but that’s it. I can’t wear any until I’m in 8th grade, which is fine with me. 1 time I tried some and got an ugly rash on my face…SO glad it was in the summer so I could hide out until it was gone. And those were fake eyelashes…she doesn’t have platinum blond hair…duh…that was a wig.

Luckily I’m good at hiding my real feelings from Mark….if he knew he’d run howling from the room. If Jilly had seen him without his beast costume, when he wasn’t howling at the moon, she might not think he was so immature. They might fall madly in love and I’d never have a chance. I’m, like, dying about Mark staring at Jilly. It’s killing me.

Things To Think About

• Mark hasn’t asked 1 thing about Jilly and I’m SO glad…but kind of surprised. Maybe he heard what Jilly said about 7
^th
grade boys being immature. Maybe it was just 1 look at the Halloween party and he’s forgotten all about her. Whatever the reason, I’m all for it.

• Rosie thinks Tyler Galleon likes me…crazy. No 1 ever likes me. I always like someone and then they like Jilly…the story of my life. Besides, Tyler’s a little dorky. Even if he did like me, I don’t think I could ever like him back…but he’s pretty nice…didn’t like him at 1st cuz of his Big Foot comment but he’s ok…think he’d look good in a regular old T-shirt and jeans…not those pants that are so big they look like 2 people could fit inside them…. And stop with the spikes already…probably has really great hair but u’d never know it under all that gel.

Things That Make Me Happy Right Now

• Omigosh! I just realized something. Mark won’t recognize Jilly any more than she would recognize him. I’m saved!

• I can stop stressing about this. Quick! Where’s my pillow?

chapter 14

Erin Swift, aka Idiot

Just when I thought it was safe to go to the bathroom again, Serena showed up. I was standing at the sink, checking out a small pimple on the left side of my nose. I was asking myself the Big Question — To pop or not to pop — when Serena walked in. She stopped and glared at me, crossing her arms over her chest.

“How long are you going to be?”

“This is a public bathroom, Serena.”

“I want some privacy.”

I raised my eyebrow at her, pimple forgotten. “What for?” Was she afraid to let me hear her pee? Or do the other thing?

“None of your business, Swiftless.” She glared even harder and tapped her foot. Please. She didn’t own this bathroom. I could stay in here as long as I wanted to. I returned to the mirror, running my fingers through my hair, wishing I had the comb that Jilly had given me.

“It won’t help,” Serena said.

I’d learned my lesson in Round One. I ignored her.

“He likes Jilly. Accept it.”

My heart did a funny little twist inside my chest, but I forced myself to continue looking in the mirror, to act as if I hadn’t heard or if I had, that I had no idea what she was talking about.

“I saw him staring at her when she went to practice the other day.” She was close to me now, our arms practically touching. “She didn’t see him but when she does —
wham!
” She slapped the sink for emphasis and I jumped. “It’s all over.”

She was lying. He didn’t know who Jilly was. He couldn’t under all the makeup and that wig. My legs quivered. I didn’t want my lips to do the same. “Here’s your privacy,” I said, making for the door.

“Swift! Wait up!”

I turned to see Mark hurrying toward me, Serena’s words pricking annoyingly at the back of my mind. I waved and then turned to sort through the books in my locker, trying to find the novel we were reading for English.

“Ready for another basketball blowout?” Mark asked as he came up beside my locker.

“Ready for the soccer field?” I shot back. “Or I should say, ready for me to kick your butt?” He laughed and I relaxed. Serena. What did she know? So what if he’d seen Jilly again? He hadn’t asked about her at all, and it had been four days since the Halloween party. S.W. was just trying to freak me out. But she wasn’t going to ruin this friendship.

“It’s winter, Swift, in case you hadn’t noticed,” Mark said. “It should be an indoor sport.”

“Wimp.” Then I smiled. “Indoor soccer.”

He laughed. A slight blush crept up his cheeks.

“What’s with you?” I asked, shoving him playfully.

“Huh? Nothing. I was just thinking …” His words trailed off. “Don’t hurt yourself,” I said.

He smirked.

“Spill it,” I said. “Just get it out.” I felt a little bit flirty, a little bit friendly.

“Okay,” he said. “But I feel kind of weird.”

“You look kind of weird but that hasn’t stopped you from talking before.”

“You’re just full of good ones today, aren’t you, Swift?”

“Always.” I pulled out my books and closed my locker. “Hey, did I tell you my new great idea?” I didn’t wait for an answer. “On the ‘Meet the Faculty’ page, I’m going to have two photos of each teacher, one in profile, like prisoner mug shots. Then I’ll put a row of numbers under each of them with a list of their ‘crimes.’ That would be like their classes and stuff.” We turned and headed toward homeroom. “Are you even listening to me?”

“Sorry,” Mark said. “I’m a little distracted. Great idea. Mrs. Porter can be the warden.”

I laughed at the image.

“Hey, that reminds me,” Mark said as we sat down in our seats for homeroom.

“What? You forgot how to create frames on a page?”

“No.” He seemed nervous again.

I leaned forward. “So?”

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Mark whispered, avoiding my eyes. “That girl you were with at the Halloween party? You know.” He made a gesture in front of his chest to indicate her boobs. “Are you two, like, good friends?”

My heart sank to the rubber tips of my Chucks.

Erin P. Swift, You Fell for It!

Big time.

Monday, November 4

My life has ended. MARK LIKES JILLY. I can’t even believe I was able to type those words. Stab me to death, why don’t you? God, I can’t believe Serena was right, which is another thing that totally stinks. If something happens with Mark and Jilly, Serena will be in my face about it every day. I’m going to have to transfer schools.

But I should have known. The whole conversation, maybe even our whole friendship, was all a big cover-up for what he really wanted—info about Jilly. Well, I decided right away that if he wanted information, he’d have to fight for it. And of course, he did, which was really annoying.

After he asked the Question That Ruined My Life in homeroom, I tried to avoid him. But he kept asking every time he had a chance. I even had to hide out in the bathroom to get rid of him. Gee. I never thought I’d write something like that…getting rid of Mark Sacks. Anyway, he stopped me AGAIN in front of the gym and I told him it was against my religion to talk to a boy without a female relative present…no idea where that came from… maybe a movie or something, but it confused him enough that I could take off B4 he tried again.

My luck ran out in English when of course he asked again and I pretended I didn’t know what girl he was talking about. Then he’s like, you know, that girl at the party, the 1 with—and he did that stupid gesture in front of his chest again. Well, I was getting pissed so I’m like, some girl at the Halloween party with—and then I imitated the gesture, hoping he’d see how stupid it was. How stupid HE was. How could he like her? After all the time we’d spent together?

Then he gave me this look, so I’m like, ok, fine. We’re friends. What else do you want to know? She has 2 older sisters, Becca and Molly, she goes to Maine every summer to visit her relatives, she likes drama and hates homework. I gave him my biggest, meanest glare and asked him if I missed anything. Know what he said? “Her shoe size.” Excuse me? It wasn’t enough that he liked my best friend, who he has only seen and never talked to, but he has to start ragging on my feet? He could tell I was mad and said it was just a joke and what was I so bent about. I considered giving him a nose to match Serena’s, so it was a good thing the teacher interrupted.