Authors: Octavia E. Butler
Tags: #Fiction, #Alternative History, #Science Fiction, #General, #Fantasy, #Historical
Abruptly, he turned and left the room, slamming the door behind him.
Keira lay down on the bed feeling listless, not quite in pain, but unable to worry about Eli, his guilt, the compulsion that
would surely overcome him soon. Her body was warning her. If she did not get her medication soon, she would feel
worse. She closed her eyes, hoping to fall asleep. She had the beginnings of a headache, or what felt like the beginnings
of one. Sometimes the dull, threatening discomfort could go on for hours without really turning into a headache. She
rolled over, away from the wet place her sweating body had made. Clay's Ark victims were not the only people who
could sweat profusely without heat. Her joints hurt her when she moved.
She had decided she was to be left alone for the night when Eli came in. She could see him vaguely outlined in the
moonlight. Apparently, he could see her much better.
"Fool," he said. "Why didn't you tell me you felt bad? You've got medicine in the car, haven't you?"
Not caring whether he could see or not, she nodded.
"I thought so. Get up. Come show me where it is."
She did not feel like moving at all, but she got up and followed him out. In the dining room, she watched him pull on a
pair of black, cloth-lined, plastic gloves.
"Town gloves," he said. "People take us for bikers in stores sometimes. I had a guy serve me once with a shotgun next
to him. Damn fool. I could have had the gun anytime I wanted it. And all the while I was protecting him from the
disease."
Why are you protecting me? she thought, but she said nothing. She followed him out to the car, which had been moved
farther from the house. There, she showed him the compartment that contained her medicine. She had left it on the seat
once, not thinking, and someone had nearly managed to smash into the car to get it, no doubt hoping for drugs. They
would have been disappointed. They might have gotten into her chemotherapy medicines and made themselves
thoroughly sick.
"Where's your father's bag?" Eli asked.
She was startled, but she hid her surprise. "Why do you want it?"
"He wants it. Meda says she's going to let him examine her."
"Why?"
"He wants to. It gives him the feeling he's doing something significant, something familiar that he can control.
Knowing Meda, I suspect he needs something like that right now."
"Can I see him?"
"Later, maybe. Where's the bag?"
This time, she couldn't help glancing toward the bag's compartment. It was only a tiny glance. She did not think he had
seen it. But he went straight to the compartment, located the hidden keyhole, stared at it for a moment, then selected the
right key on the first try.
"You never turn on any lights," Keira said. "Does the disease help you see in the dark?"
"Yes." He took the bag from its compartment. "Take your medicine to your room. All of it."
"The bag won't work for you," she said. "It's coded. Only my father can use it."
He just smiled.
She had to suppress an impulse to touch him. The feeling surprised her and she stood looking at him until he turned
abruptly and strode away. She watched him, realizing he may have felt as bad as she did. His smile had dissolved into a
pinched, half-starved look before he turned away.
She stood where she was, first looking after him, then looking up at the clear black sky with its vast spray of stars. The
desert sky at night was fascinating and calming to her. She knew she should follow Eli, but she stayed, wondering
which of the countless stars was Proxima Centauri-or rather, which was Alpha Centauri. She knew that Proxima could
not be seen separately by the unaided eye. A red star whose light a little girl born on Earth longed for.
"Hi," a child's voice said from somewhere nearby.
Keira jumped, then looked around. At her feet stood a sphinxlike boy somewhat larger than Zera.
"Daddy said you have to come in," the boy said.
"Is Eli your daddy?"
"Yes. I'm Jacob."
"Does anyone call you Jake?"
"No."
"Lucky boy. I'm Keira-no matter what you hear anyone else say. Okay?"
"Okay. You have to come in."
"I'm coming."
The boy walked beside her companionably. "You're nicer than the other one," he said.
"Other one?"
"Like you, but not as brown."
"Rane? My sister?"
"Is she your sister?"
"Where is she? Where did you see her?"
"She didn't like me."
"Jacob, where did you see her?"
"Do you like me?"
"At the moment, no." She stopped and stooped to bring herself closer to eye level with him. Her joints did not care
much for the gesture. "Jacob, tell me where my sister is."
"You do like me," he said. "But I think Daddy will get mad at me if I tell you."
"Damn right, he will," Eli's voice said.
Keira looked up, saw him, and stood up, wondering how anyone could move so silently in sand that crunched
underfoot. The boy moved that way, too.
"Eli, why can't I know where my sister is?" she asked. "What's happening to her?"
Eli seemed to ignore her, spoke to his son. "Hey, little boy, come on up here."
He did not bend at all, but Jacob leaped into his arms. Then the boy turned to look down at Keira.
"You tell Kerry what her sister was doing last time you saw her," Eli said.
The boy frowned. "Keira?"
"Yes. Tell her."
"You should call her Keira. That's what she likes."
"Do you?" Eli asked her.
"Yes! Now will you please tell me about Rane?"
"She was with Stephen," Jacob said. "They looked at the cows and fed the chickens and Stephen ate some stuff in the
garden. Stephen jumped with her and she didn't like it."
"Jumped?" Keira said.
"From some rocks. She liked him."
Keira looked at Eli, questioning.
"Stephen Kaneshiro is our bachelor," Eli said, heading for the house again. Keira followed automatically. "He saw the
two of you and asked about you. I aimed him at Rane."
"And she likes him."
"I'd say so. This little kid reads people pretty clearly."
"Is she with him?"
"She could have been. Stephen said it was too soon for her, so she's alone. Kerry, she's all right, I promise you. Beyond
infecting her, no one wants to hurt her."
"Keira," Jacob said into Eli's ear.
Eli laughed. "Yeah," he said. He looked at the boy. "You know it's time for you to go to bed. Past time."
"Mom already put me to bed."
"I figured she had. What'll it take to get you to stay there?"
Jacob grinned and said nothing.
"The kids are more nocturnal than we are," Eli said. "We try to adjust them more to our hours for their own protection.
They don't realize the danger they're in when they roam around at night."
He held the door open for her and she went in. "There are bobcats in these mountains, aren't there?" she asked. "And
coyotes?"
"Jacob's in no danger from animals," Eli said. "His senses are keener than those of the big animals and he's fast. He's
literally poison to most of the smaller ones-especially those that are supposed to be poison to him. No, it's the stray
humans out there that I worry about." He stopped, looked at his son who was listening somberly. "Keira, you take your
medicine, then go back to your room. There are some books in there if you want to read. I'm going to put this one to
bed."
She obeyed, never thinking there might be anything else she could do. She caught herself feeling grateful to him for not
hurting her, not even forcing the disease on her, though she didn't know how long that could last. Then she realized she
was feeling gratitude to a man who had kidnapped her family. Her problem was she liked him. She wondered who
Jacob's mother was. Meda? If so, why was Meda trying so hard, so obviously to get Blake Maslin into her bed. Perhaps
he was there now. No, Jacob's mother must be someone else. She sat staring at the cover of a battered old book-
something from the 1960s-written even before the birth of her father: Ishi, Last of his Tribe. She had intended to read,
but she had no concentration. Finally, Eli appeared again to take her to her father.
That meeting was terrible. It forced her to remember that her liking for Eli could not matter. The fact that she was not
afraid for herself could not matter. She had a duty to help her father and Rane to escape-and that terrified her. She did
not underestimate the capacity of Eli's people to do harm. Her escape, her family's escape would endanger their
families. They would kill to prevent that. Or perhaps they would only injure her badly and keep her with them in agony.
She had had enough of pain.
But she had a duty.
"I shouldn't have let you see him," Eli said.
She jumped. She had been walking slowly back to her room, forgetting he was behind her. "I wish you hadn't," she
whispered. Then she realized what she had said, and she was too ashamed to do anything but go into her room and try
to shut the door.
He would not let the door shut.
"I thought it would be a kindness," he said, "to both of you." And as though to explain: "I liked the way you got along
with Jacob and Zera. They're good kids, but the reactions they get sometimes from new people ..."
She knew about ugly reactions. Probably Jacob knew more, or would learn more, but walking down a city street
between her mother and her father had taught her quite a bit.
She reached out and took Eli's hands. She had been wanting to do that for so long. The hands first pulled back from her,
but did not pull away. They were callused, hard, very warm. How insane to expose herself to the disease now that she
knew she must at least try to escape. Yet she almost certainly already had it. Eli and her father had deluded themselves
into believing otherwise, but she knew her own particular therapy-induced sensitivity to infection. Her father knew it
too, whether or not he chose to admit it.
The hands closed on her hands, giving in finally, and in spite of everything, she smiled.
PAST 17
Ironically, Eli, Meda, and Lorene interrupted someone else's attempted abduction. Off Interstate 40, they found a car
family or a fragment of a car family raiding a roadside station. There were few stations in the open desert these days.
They offered water, food, fuels from hydrogen to fast-charge for electric cars, vehicle repairs, and even a few rooms for
tourists.
"Stations help everyone," Meda said as they watched the fighting. "Even the rat packs usually leave them alone."
"Not this time," Eli said. "Hell, this isn't our fight. Let's see if I can get us out of here."