Authors: Linda Hill
“I don’t know. I think she seemed more than casually interested in you.”
“You think?” She let her thoughts drift, until she realized that she would be disappointed if Heather turned out to be straight.
“She seems nice,” Sally was saying.
“She is. She always was. Even when we were kids and everyone made fun of her. I never saw her get mad.”
“She could have become very bitter.”
Jennifer nodded. “But she’s not. She’s still quiet. Not as shy as before, just understated. And she’s developed quite a sense of humor.”
“Maybe you two will work something out. Flagstaff isn’t that far away.”
“I don’t want to get my hopes up too much.”
Sally tapped her sister’s leg again. “Take a risk, silly. The weekend’s almost over.”
“I can’t believe I’m going home tomorrow. I just got here.” She turned sad eyes to Sally. “I’ll stay longer next time, I promise. May I come back for Christmas?”
“I’ve only invited you every year for the last eight years. Of course you can come.”
“I’ll be here. Did you notice that Allison actually spoke to me today?” Her smile was hopeful.
“I told you she’d come around.”
Feeling an unreasonable sense of accomplishment, Jen yawned. “I think I’ll lie down for a while before I have to get ready for tonight.”
“Good idea.” But before Jennifer could leave the room, Sally steered the conversation to the topic of what Jennifer would wear to the formal event that evening, insisting that she borrow a dress. But Jennifer refused to give in. “Besides, a bandaged knee in nylons isn’t exactly the fashion statement that I’m going for.”
Sally reluctantly conceded the point. “Fine. But you’ll be the only woman there who isn’t wearing a dress,” was Sally’s parting shot.
Jennifer settled back into her pillow and closed her eyes. Without provocation, Heather’s image came to mind. A warm glow settled over her as she allowed herself the simple luxury of thinking about Heather, remembering moments from the past and merging them with the images of today.
There was so much she wanted to ask her. So many thoughts and questions about her life and about their childhood. As dreams overtook her, she hoped fervently that she would get the chance.
Jennifer arrived in the ballroom of the Hotel Savory well after the reception had begun. She chatted with a few people before finding an out of the way spot to settle down. She chose one of three couches that faced a roaring fireplace. From there she had a great view of the entrance, the bar, and the lounge area.
She sipped her drink and observed the decor of the hotel as much as the people who filled the room.
Was it just a coincidence that Sheila had rented a room at the same hotel where the evening’s festivities were taking place? Jennifer didn’t think so. In fact, she believed now more than ever that Sheila had taken some carefully orchestrated steps this weekend. She had definite plans for how she wanted the reunion to play out.
As she watched a group of people she couldn’t quite identify, she tried to decipher her feelings for Sheila. Some emotions were easier to distinguish than others. At least she wasn’t nervous anymore. The jitters she’d suffered ever since making her plane reservations had vanished. Even the confusion from earlier that morning had disappeared. She was thinking clearly now. Emotions from the past were no longer getting confused with the present.
Reality was what she’d needed. The confrontation with Sheila had left her feeling empty. Her anguish had vanished. She had no strong desire to be at Sheila’s side. She had no yearning to whisk Sheila away.
Jennifer struggled with the realization. She’d been living with the hope and fantasy of Sheila all these years, and she didn’t quite know what to do with the freedom that settled into her heart as the weight of Sheila’s memory was lifted from her.
As if on cue, Sheila entered the ballroom, her arm through Bobby’s. They joined a large group at the bar. Jen held her breath, waiting for her heart to pound. Relief washed over her, then elation. The emotion she felt had nothing to do with longing. In fact, as she watched Sheila laughing and flirting with the men that circled her and her husband, Jen felt something close to distaste.
She tried to name the emotion that surfaced. Regret? At the moment she regretted only two things.
The first regret was that she had let memories interfere with her life for so many years. The second regret was that she had met Sheila in her hotel room that morning.
It had probably helped her let go, however, Jen reasoned. If Sheila had remained cool and aloof, as she had been the night before, maybe Jen would be yearning for her even now.
“Alone at last.” Diane’s deep voice whispered in her ear, causing her to abandon her thoughts. Diane circled the sofa from behind and came around to sit beside her. Jennifer noted with satisfaction that Diane was wearing a pair of black tailored pants and a white blouse. She couldn’t wait to tell Sally.
“How are you feeling?” Diane leaned forward to get a good look at the swollen lump above Jen’s eye. “I didn’t expect to see you tonight.”
“I’m fine. And I wouldn’t have missed this night for anything,” she smiled.
Diane raised an eyebrow in reply. “Dare I ask?”
Jen waved the question aside. “Are you enjoying yourself so far?”
“It’s been interesting to see everyone.” Diane shrugged as she scanned the crowd. “I didn’t have anything else to do this weekend.” .
“So you still live in Des Moines?”
Diane nodded. “I’m surprised how many of us still do, actually. Lucy’s still here. Gina teaches up in Ames. Gail lives in Oskaloosa.”
“Oskaloosa?”
“She married a farmer or something.” Her face cracked in a wide smile. “My lover and I moved just south of Ankeny.”
“Really?” It hadn’t even occurred to her that
Diane might have a lover. “How long have you been together?”
Diane’s smile grew even wider. “Eight years,” she said proudly.
“Congratulations,” Jen said with feeling. “Why didn’t you bring her with you? I would have loved to meet her.”
Diane’s face colored. “Well, uh, she’s here. You know her,” she stuttered.
Jennifer stared at the larger woman, for the first time seeing her as someone’s lover instead of as the high school lesbian. “Who? Who is it?”
“Well,” she swallowed, dipping her head shyly. “It’s Lucy.”
Jennifer couldn’t stop her jaw from dropping. “But she’s kind of closeted, ya know? So we play it cool.”
Jennifer continued to stare. “Lucy?”
Diane’s head bobbed up and down.
“That’s fabulous.” Jennifer finally found her voice. “She’s an absolutely wonderful woman. CongratulaŹtions again.”
“Thanks.” She sat up proudly.
Amazed, Jen shook her head. “How did you two get together?”
Diane grinned broadly. “It’s a long story. But that’s part of what I wanted to talk to you about.”
Jen remembered their brief conversation earlier in the day. “Ah yes. Your ominous warning.”
“I thought you should know about a few things that happened since you moved away.”
Her curiosity piqued, Jen asked her to continue.
“That first year you were away, after Sheila marŹried that idiot and before they moved to Texas …”
Diane glanced around quickly before turning back to Jen, her voice low as she continued. “Sheila went pretty whacko when she couldn’t find you. She called everybody and anybody to try to reach you. She was a maniac. She told everyone about the two of you. Well, her version of the story, anyway.”
Jennifer digested the information slowly. “What was her version?”
“That you seduced her and fucked with her head before dumping her and running away.”
“She got married.” Jen’s voice was louder than she’d intended.
Diane waved the comment aside. “I know. And nobody really believed her version of what happened anyway. Especially when they knew how much you were always mooning over her back in school.”
Again the reminder that Jen had fooled absolutely no one in high school.
Diane hesitated for a moment. “Anyway, she finally told me a different story. One that’s probably a whole lot closer to the truth.”
Jen’s eyes narrowed. “What did she tell you?”
Diane lowered her voice. “That you two had been lovers for years. That she couldn’t handle being queer. So she married Bobby.”
A low whistle escaped her. So many times she had imagined the reason, but she’d never heard the words before now. Jen looked away briefly, considering her words. But something didn’t quite make sense.
“Why would she have told you? She wouldn’t even give you the time of day in high school.”
Diane’s cheeks colored, and her eyes darted around nervously. “We became lovers,” she confessed.
“After she was married. Once she realized that she wasn’t going to get you back.”
Jen heard a roaring in her ears at the same time and felt a sickening lurch in the pit of her stomach. She turned stinging eyes toward the flames in the fireplace beside them.
Diane continued. “We weren’t lovers, exactly. We had an affair. All she talked about was you. Jenny this. Jenny that. I know she told that shithead husŹband of hers all about you. He went berserk. That’s when they moved to Texas.” She paused, her eyes turning to search for Sheila’s whereabouts. “I’m surprised as hell that they came back here for the reunion. I would have thought his ego couldn’t take it.”
“Why are you telling me this?” The words came out more harshly than she’d intended.
Diane sighed. “Not to gloat, I assure you. I just feel like something’s up, and I wanted to warn you. I figured that nobody else would tell you what hapŹpened back then. That she told everybody about you.”
“That I seduced her,” Jen said sarcastically. In her mind’s eye, she imagined Sheila telling the story. She had no doubt that Sheila had spun it just as Diane was now telling her.
Diane nodded. “And I thought I should warn you, if you don’t know already. Sheila’s rented a room here. She has every intention of getting you up there alone.”
Jennifer’s stomach fluttered. “How do you know all of this?”
Diane’s smile was steely. “Because she invited me there last night. And when I turned her down she made it quite clear that she’d rented it with you in mind anyway.”
Jen watched her carefully, unable to speak.
“So, just a warning. She has plans for you.” She smiled sweetly.
Duped. Completely, utterly fooled. Part of her wanted to confess to Diane that it was too late, but humiliation held her back.
When Jennifer didn’t reply, Diane prompted her. “You’re not still interested in her, are you?”
Jen shook her head slowly. “No. Not anymore.” She turned her head toward the area where a small string quartet was beginning to play. Sheila was standing nearby, her eyes watching the two women covertly. “It’s funny, though. I can see Sheila right now and believe that everything you’re telling me is true. But I don’t remember her being so manipulative back then. She was so sweet.” Her eyes met Diane’s. “She was my whole life.”
Diane’s lips were a careful straight line. “It hurts like hell, doesn’t it,” she said matter-of-factly.
An ironic smile twisted her lips. “It sure does.”
“What hurts like hell?” Lucy was approaching them, looking a bit uncomfortable in a short beige cotton dress and heels.
“Love, sweetie.” Diane smiled adoringly at her lover. “What else?”
“Lucy!” Jennifer pushed herself up from the couch and wrapped her arms around the shorter woman. “I’m so happy for you. Congratulations,” she whispered.
Lucy practically beamed. “Thanks. I’m a lucky gal.”
“I’d say you’re both lucky,” Jen smiled. “Sit down.
I want to hear all about you two.” She motioned for Lucy to join Diane while she moved to another sofa beside them.
Slowly at first, the couple began telling their story, each interrupting the other as they wound the tale. Jennifer listened as they grew more animated, seeing the love clearly pouring from their eyes as they gazed at each other as their story continued.
Always a magnet, Lucy began to wave and draw others over to join them, and soon they were surŹrounded by friends from years ago. As topics became more general, Jennifer found herself growing restless, her eyes beginning to wander the growing crowd in search of Heather. And subconsciously for Sheila.
Trying to appear nonchalant, Jen’s eyes began to scour the sea of faces in the crowded room. Surely Heather would have arrived by now.
Sheila, in contrast, was easy to spot. She conŹtinued to hold court at the bar, surrounded by men of all shapes and sizes, with her husband nearby. She seemed to be drinking heavily, and Jennifer absorbed this information with trepidation. A sober Sheila was tough enough to handle. She didn’t even want to think about how difficult a drunk Sheila might be.
She allowed herself to be drawn back into the conversation at hand before beginning her search once again. She wasn’t sure if she spotted the white-blond hair or the bright-blue eyes first. She was only aware of the breath that caught in her throat as she found Heather’s eyes on hers from the farthest corŹner of the room.
My god, she’s gorgeous. Jen was struck once again by the other woman’s beauty. She was completely caught off guard and surprised at the way her heart thumped in her chest as Heather tilted her head and smiled in acknowledgment. Jen found herself smiling in return and she lifted her glass in salute. They continued to stare, eyes unwavering, and familiar strings tugged at Jennifer’s heart. She tried without success to stifle the grin that spread across her face.
She wasn’t sure whether she imagined that Heather was flirting with her, even at this distance. Her eyes seemed to smolder not with lust or pasŹsion, but with something softer. A yearning of sorts. A heart-on-one’ s-sleeve kind of look.
She wasn’t imagining it, Jen told herself. Heather felt the attraction too. Without another thought, Jen waved Heather over.
She tried to appear interested in the conversation around her, but her senses were centered on the blond head that was weaving its way through the throngs of people.