Clash of the Otherworlds: Book 1, After the Fall (26 page)

The voice came again.  "Jayne!  Let Ben go!"

I looked up and saw Ben's eyes starting to go blank in the water.  A bubble escaped his lips and floated up. 
What the hell?

"Ben?  What are you doing in there?" I asked.  I looked around, but I couldn't see anything but greens and blues swirling in the space surrounding me.  It was just Ben and me now, both of us captured in this elemental storm.

It finally penetrated my brain that I was killing the guy who was supposed to be helping me.  I shook my head to clear it and then quickly let the elements drop back into the earth.

After they left, I was suddenly overwhelmed with fatigue.  I sank to the ground in a heap, flinching at the squelching sounds my body made as it landed in the wetness around me.

Tim came over and buzzed in front of me, alternatively snapping his fingers and clapping his hands.  "Hey, hey!  Jayne!  Wake up, crazy person!  You need to get your butt over there and heal your boyfriend or it's lights out for the Father, you get my drift?"

"What?" I asked, totally confused.  His words made absolutely no sense to me.

Tim flew in close and slapped me in the face.  Then he zoomed up and poked me in the eye.

"Ow,
shit
, Tim!  That hurt!" I yelled, clapping my hand over my now throbbing eye.

"Good!  Because you need to wake the hell up!  Go over to Ben right now and heal his sorry ass or we're all doomed!  Doomed, I say!"

I looked over with my one good eye and saw Ben lying in a soggy heap on the ground about ten feet away.  I gasped, shocked at finding him looking so helpless and ragged-out. 
Oh shit.  I did that.
  I crawled over on my hands and knees, too tired and my limbs too heavy to do any better than that.

I got to his side and pushed weakly on his shoulder.  "Ben!  Get up!"

He didn't respond.

"Ben!  Come on, get up!"  I grabbed his tunic in my fist and shook him as hard as I could.  His body rocked back and forth and some water leaked out of his mouth, but no breath or words followed.  His sightless eyes continued to stare up at the sky.

"Holy shit," I whispered, feeling sick to my stomach.  "I killed him!"

"Heal him with the Green," said Scrum, running up to kneel at my side.  He took me by the shoulders and leaned me into his chest.  "I've got ya.  Now do it.  Send him some of the Green.  Leave Water out of it.  I think it's toxic to his Fire."

"Ya think?" I asked, laughing bitterly as I reached out for the Green and asked it, begged it, to heal the Father of the fae.  I cried, watching the green glow crawl over him, not knowing if it was going to do any good.

"Shhh, it's going to be okay," said Scrum, rocking me a little and petting my head awkwardly.

I felt someone else come over to my other side.  When she dropped down to her knees I could see it was Samantha.  She wasn't crying like I expected her to be.

"Let me help," she said, staring at Ben intently.

"Do whatever you can," I said, waving at his unmoving body with a weak gesture.

She grabbed my hand and squeezed it between her two, mumbling some words and closing her eyes.

"What the fu..." I started to say, when I felt a tingling in my fingers.  A not uncomfortable warmth came from her hands into mine, and lingered at my wrist.  I watched in fascination as the black wounds on my arm turned angry red and then slowly healed over and faded to plain white scars.

"Whoaaaa," said Scrum, also watching.

Samantha opened her eyes and glanced down at my wrists.  "You were under the influence, weren't you?"

"I have no friggin idea," I said, watching her face, lost for any other words.

She dropped my hands and gestured over at Ben with a nod.  "He's coming back."

My head jerked towards Ben, and my heart leaped when his lids closed and then opened back up again to reveal Ben's normal eyes, no longer staring sightless up at the heavens.

I pushed out of Scrum's arms and crawled over to Ben, falling down on my stomach in the mud next to him.  I reached up and put my hand on his forehead, smoothing the hair away from his face and leaving ugly brown streaks of mud on his skin behind.  "I'm so, so sorry I just did that.  Will you please forgive me?"

Ben just blinked, saying nothing.

"I promise, I'll never do it again."  I was crying, thinking how close I'd come to snuffing out his fire forever.  I didn't care how much of an ass he could be, he definitely didn't deserve that.

Ben sat up slowly, looking around him in a daze.  "Where am I?" he finally asked.

Samantha stood and walked over to him, holding out her hand to help him up.  "You're at the green elf training grounds."

Ben stood and looked down in confusion at his muddy clothes.  "What happened?"

"She happened," said Samantha, not even looking at me.

I used Scrum's strong hand and arm to get up, standing in front of Ben.  "It was me.  I did it.  But I didn't do it on purpose."

"Yes you did," challenged Samantha.

"Okay, maybe I did, but I didn't mean to hurt you, Ben!"

"Of course you did," said Samantha, getting all bitchy now.  "What else do you call it when you use your elements to snuff his out and drown him?"

My mouth opened but no excuse would come out.  Because there wasn't one.  I hung my head in shame.

Ben slowly walked away, not even looking at me.

My heart was breaking over the pain.  I could feel the beating muscle shriveling in my chest.  I watched his back disappear into the trees, Samantha at his side.

What have I done?  What have I done?!

Tim came over and landed on my shoulder.  First he sighed heavily.  Then he said, "Come on, kid.  Let's go home."

If he had said anything else, I probably would have handled it without a problem.  But the fact that he got all parenty and papa-like on me was too much to bear.  I started crying like a baby, my shoulders slouching into my body, making me feel like I was collapsing in on myself.

Scrum came over and propped me up.  He acted as my crutch all the way back to my room, leaving me at the bathroom entrance to shower myself off.

"I'll be right in your room here when you're done.  Just get yourself cleaned up a little first."

I stepped mindlessly into the shower and turned on the hot water, drenching myself and my clothes in the element that had nearly killed my life partner and had probably made him my enemy for all eternity.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

I STOOD IN THE SHOWER for as long as I could take it, but I wasn't feeling entirely comfortable with the Water element, having so recently used it to almost kill Ben.  I stripped off my wet clothes and wrapped a towel around me, walking back into my room to get something dry to put on.  

Scrum was sitting in a chair in the corner of the room.  "Feel better?" he asked.

"No," I said, going through my drawers and picking things out.

I went back in the bathroom and got dressed, leaving my towel on the floor when I walked out.  I almost wanted Netter to get mad at me.  I felt like I deserved for everyone to hate me, even my brownie.

Scrum stood when I came out.  "I think you should lie down for a while.  We have some time before our meeting in Tony's room."

"You heard about the meeting?  How?"

"Tim flew up to my ear and filled me in."

I looked around the room, realizing it was too quiet.  "Where is he?"  My voice hitched as I considered the fact that Tim might have decided I was too much of an asshole to live with.

"I think he went to tell everyone what happened."

"Is that what he said?"

"Well, yeah.  He also said something about calling in the troops, but I wasn't sure what he meant by that."

"I'd be surprised if any troops would bother to come if they knew it was for me."

Scrum stood and walked over to me, patting me on the shoulder.  "You're being too hard on yourself, as usual, Jayne.  Just relax, okay?  It's not as bad as you think."

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes.  "You were there, right Scrum?  You saw what I did?"  My throat was burning really bad from the sorrow that was choking me.

"Yeah, I saw.  And I also saw some weird stuff with Samantha, with her attacking you first, and then her doing something to your arm.  Tim says you were bitten by a vampire."  He frowned.  "How is that even possible?  Vampires?  They aren't fae, right?"

I shook my head.  "It's a long story."

"Yeah, well Tim says we're going to figure it all out tonight.  He said he's calling in some favors and everything.  And he also said not to let you get all whiney-baby either."

I laughed absently, impressed that he could annoy me by proxy so effectively, and wondering who he had to con to get a favor owed.  I shuffled over to the bed, no longer caring about the meeting or the fight with Maléna.  Maybe she'd win and put me out of my misery.

"Where are you going?" asked Scrum.

"I'm taking a nap, like you told me to.  Wake me when it's all over."  I pulled down the covers and crawled in under them, drawing them up over my head and enveloping myself in darkness.

I had just started to drift off, the haze of a not very happy dream starting to overtake me, when I heard voices.  They pulled me out of the fantasy and back into reality, annoying me immensely.  I tried to tune them out and go back into the gray world that beckoned, but it became impossible when the bed moved.  Someone was getting in with me.

"Whoever you are, get the hell away from me or I'll drown you, too."

"It's me," said Spike, "and I'm not going anywhere."

I felt a rush of cold air when he lifted the covers to get in.

"Fuck off, Spike."

"Mmmm, don't mind if I do," he said, now fully under with me and leaning in towards my neck.

I was half-ready to cry and half-ready to scream.  So I did what came natural to me and gave life to both emotions.  

"Leave me alone!  Can't you see I'm dying in here!  I want to be
alone!"
  I was sobbing and shaking, hating myself and anyone else who was going to try and make me feel okay about attempted murder.

Spike shoved one arm under me and put the other over me, enveloping me in a giant, under-the-covers bear hug.  "Shhhh, you're going crazy on us, Jaynie.  You need to just calm down and let that shit out, already.  You're going to self-destruct if you keep it up."  He kept making soothing sounds near my ear and alternated between squeezing me and rubbing my arm and back.

I struggled to get him away from me, not interested in his pity.  "Just leave, Spike.  Don't you get it?  I don't
want
you here."

"Your mouth says no, but your heart says yes."

"Spike," I said with a lot less volume, "that sounds an awful lot like a rapist talking, don't you think?"

"In other circumstances, maybe.  But here?  No.  I can feel your need, Jayne.  You know I love you.  Let me help you heal."

"Get your healing nonsense away from me," I said, no longer crying, almost laughing at the ridiculousness of an incubus flirting with me at a time like this.

"Okaaay.  If you prefer, I could call the twins in.  They're a little tired from helping Tony, and I can't vouch for their control when they're like that, but I'll get them if you want."

"Ew,
no.  They can keep their grubby hands
and
their hooters away from me."  I struggled again to free myself but Spike wasn't having it.  Messing with him wasn't helping me forget, but it was at least keeping my mind off the crying.  My struggles were decidedly weaker now.

"Just kiss me once.  If you don't like what happens with it, I'll go away.  No harm, no foul.  And you've got Scrum out there keeping an eye on things, so you know I won't hurt you."

"Don't you understand?" I whispered, no longer fighting him but nearly begging now.

"No, I don't," he whispered back.  "Explain it to me."  He forced me to turn and look at him.  It was dark under the covers, but the red swirling light in his eyes was visible, making him seem like a creepy monster.  But he was one monster I didn't fear, because no matter how strong his need, I knew he was a friend.  And he had forgiven the unforgivable on more than one occasion.

"I don't deserve this."

"This what?"

"This ... friendship.  This understanding.  This kindness," I said, crying again.

"Why not?  Jesus, you're a good person, Jayne.  You try really hard.  You've changed a lot since we first came here, and as far as I'm concerned, you just keep getting more awesome."

"A good person doesn't try to kill the Father of the fae," I said, ashamed to even hear the words come out of my mouth.

"She does if he's a flaming asshat," growled Spike.

I tried to shove him but he was holding me too close.  "Shut up," I said.  "I'm serious."

"So am I.  Come on, let's be honest.  You were forced into marrying the guy when everyone knew you were in love with Chase.  Or me.  I mean, we both know you still have the hots for me, and who can blame you?  And suddenly everyone expects you to have all the answers.  Shit, you didn't even know the effects of a vampire bite, so give yourself a break, would ya?  I have to tell you ... all the self-pity just isn't doing it for me.  You're much cuter when you're fighting the good fight."

"Spike, I told you before.  I love you but not in that way."

"Kiss me and prove it, then.  If you only like me as a friend, you'll be able to resist my charms."

I was tempted.  For the first time in a long time I was.  "That's not fair to you."

"Don't worry about what's fair.  Let's just worry about what's fun."  

He tickled me a little, making me giggle.  I could practically feel the challenge in his voice.

"I'm going to kiss you now," he whispered.  

I could feel the heat of his breath on my face.

And then our lips touched.  Tentatively at first, but then gradually we were consumed by such a strong need that we pulled each other in tightly, our tongues moving together in a rhythm neither of us was setting but both of us just somehow knew how to follow.