Clallam Bay (A Fresh Start #2) (13 page)

A prolonged silence filled the air. My head lulled to the side to break it but his gaze stopped me from speaking. It ran down the outline of my body then back up to my mouth. My heart raced. I licked my lips, and he lowered his head, letting his mouth hover over mine just as a rustling came from outside. Coll looked over at the entrance of the tent and I sat straight up.

“What was that?”

“I don’t know.” Rolling off the mattress, Coll pulled on his jeans and sweatshirt. “No matter what happens, stay in here.”

“Wait. What?”

Ignoring me, he unzipped the tent and stepped outside, zipping it back up behind him. I mentally chewed my nails while he was gone, imagining the worst. I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of a quick zip, and Coll stepped back inside.

“Well, what was it?”

“Raccoons, I think.”

“You think?”

“Yeah. Heard ‘em scamper off.” He shrugged off his sweatshirt then slipped off his pants again and I didn’t hear anything he said after that.

He crawled under the covers, warming me up significantly as he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close to talk into my ear.

“You don’t have to worry about anything, especially raccoons. Especially when you’re with me. I’ll always keep you safe.”

My stomach felt the impact of his words. I wanted to believe them. But turning and looking into his eyes, I wasn’t sure if I did.

*

“And you still didn’t sleep with him?”

Sighing, I reached for one of my red pens, and Alyssa snatched it out of my hand.

“Explain,” she ordered.

I just grabbed another, refusing to look up at her as I spoke. “There’s nothing to explain. We went camping. He said nothing happened with Tara.” I gestured like that should have been enough.

“Well, the problem is, nothing happened with you either.”

“Uh, yeah huh. Did you not here the part where we cuddled?”

“Well, slap my ass and call me Salliqua. They cuddled. Did you hear that, class? Cuddled. Your teacher’s officially a damn prude,” Alyssa announced to an empty classroom.

Ignoring her, I continued grading papers.

“When are you supposed to see each other again?”

I shrugged. He’d been acting more and more distant before taking off this time. I was starting to wonder if I had made a mistake by not pouncing on him when I had the chance.

“I don’t know. He left for another job this morning and isn’t sure when he’ll be back. As per usual.”

I’d woken up that morning to find a note on my door and that his window had been fixed already. At least he had promised to try and write me again if he got the chance.

“Uh oh. Do I sense trouble in paradise already? What’s with the ‘tude?”

“There’s no ‘tude.”

“Mmhm …”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have no ‘tude.”

“You know, plenty of women would kill for a hardworking man like Coll. And to think, he doesn’t even have a family to provide for yet. That we know of.”

“Alyssa.”

“What?”

I gave her a look.

“Well, we don’t. I mean, think about it.”

“I’d rather not.”

“He could have a whole other life just outside Clallam. It’s not unheard of, ya know? Just look at Sonia and Sean. It took years for their mom to find out about her husband’s second family. Years! So much time wasted.”

“How do you know anything about that?”

Alyssa shrugged. “She drunk texted me one night. Thought it was you. So, ya know … if she says anything …”

“And you’re just now telling me this? What if she had said something to me? I would have looked like an ass!”

“Oh, please.” Alyssa waved me off.

“Well, did she say anything else? Was she really adopted? Did she get pregnant at an early age, give up the kid, and it’s now dating its own cousin?”

“Oh my God. You really think that happened?”

“No!”

Slumping back, Alyssa pursed her lips in disappointment. I went back to grading papers, patiently waiting for her to leave. Once she did, I was finally able to finish in peace.

By the time I made it out of the building, I was starving and hardly in the mood to mingle when Russell spotted me walking out of the deli.

“Hailey!” he shouted from across the street. Waving, I waited for him to cross. “Long time no see, eh? How are you? How’ve you been? Good, I hope.” His breath smelled like he’d just taste-tested the entire liquor section at the bar. I was assuming he had gotten off early that day and was celebrating.

“Uh, yeah. I’ve been good, thank you. How are you? Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“No reason. Just asking. Well—”

“I just got fired is all.” Holding up his fingers, he air-quoted. “Sorry, I mean ‘tendered my resignation.’”

Well, this was awkward.

“Oh wow, Russell. I’m sorry,” I told him, wishing I was anywhere but there at that moment. “Is there anything I can do?”

Russell shook his head. “No. I think I’m just gonna get on home. Get some rest so I can start the job search tomorrow.” He pulled out his keys and jingled them.

“You’re driving?”

“Well yeah. How else m’I gonna get home?” he asked then hiccupped.

Jesus.

“Well, why don’t you let me give you a ride?” I couldn’t let him just drive home.

“Nah, I’m good.”

“Come on. I’ve got nothing better to do. You’d actually be doing me a favor.”

He thought about it for a minute before he nodded. I jerked my head in the direction of my car, and he followed me, plopping into the passenger seat. I said a little prayer before climbing in myself, starting up the car, and stepping on the gas.

“So where to?”

Russell pointed in front of us. “Just follow this road until I tell you to turn. That’ll be my driveway.”

“Okay. Will do.”

We drove in silence until I made it to the first stop sign.

“I know that little shit turned me in. I just know it.” Russell punched the air, and I flinched.

“And who might that be?”

“Cade. He’s been out for my job from the beginning.”

“Your little brother?” I glanced over to see him shake his head.

“Not anymore.”

I faced forward, eyes wide on the road.

Well, okay then …

“What he needs is his ass beat. Dad really let the ball drop there. Cade’s always been his golden child. Can do no wrong!” He got a little loud then calmed on his own. “I tell ya, if I had kids I’d tan their hides and let ‘em know who’s boss. That’s what my dad did, and look how I turned out. Harbor Master.”

More like ex-Harbor Master. But whatever. Day drinker was good too.

“Can an eighteen-year-old even be Harbor Master?” I asked.

Russell shrugged. “Whether he can or can’t isn’t the point.”

Looking straight ahead, I kept my mouth shut and let him say what he needed to say, hoping it’d be time to turn soon.

“The point is he doesn’t know what it’s like.”

“To get your ass beat?”

Slumping farther down in the seat, Russell looked out the window just as the raindrops started to hit. Was that why Coll didn’t think of his stepfather as his dad? He beat him?

I was just about to ask when Russell pointed. “Here. Turn up here. This is me.”

A hidden driveway popped up out of nowhere. I slammed on the brakes to turn onto a well-groomed gravel road leading up to a handsome log cabin overlooking a lake.

“Wow. This is beautiful, Russell. You live here?”

“For now, at least.”

Right.

“So, how’s it going with you and Coll?”

“What do you mean?”

Glancing out the windshield, he laughed. “Okay. Well, would you like to come in then? I could show you around. We could have a drink out on the deck.”

“It’s raining.”

Scanning the windshield again, Russell huffed a laugh. “So it is.” Without another word, he opened the door and got out, slamming it shut behind him.

*

“Well, that’s weird,” Amber observed about Russell’s recent behavior.

Shuffling through the mail, I agreed with her. “Right?”

It had only been a few days since Coll left, but I was still expecting a letter to be there every damn time. So much so I almost couldn’t stand myself.

“What did he think he was gonna do? Lure you in and seduce you with his impending foreclosure?”

“I don’t know. He was probably hoping for some pity sex or something.” I shrugged and switched ears. If I was too scared to make it with a guy I liked, you could bet your ass I wasn’t going to with some jobless drunk I’d picked up off the street. “Hey listen, Amber. I think I’m gonna get off here. I’ve got papers to grade and stickers to stick.”

“Okay. Well, call me back when you’re not so busy being the best, most depressed teacher in the world ever.”

“I am not.”

“Whatever. Bye-ee.”

Amber and I hung up, and I got to work on different lesson plans for numbers and shapes. It wasn’t until four weeks later when I hadn’t heard a word from Coll that I realized she was right.

Within the four weeks I didn’t hear from Coll, Thanksgiving and Christmas passed.

I flew home to visit family over the break, met up with a few friends, and tried not to sit and stew over why Coll had one, fixed the window without me. And two, hadn’t written when he said he would. Well … that he would try. But had there really been no downtime in the span of a month?

I hoped his letters had just gotten lost in the mail and that a stack of them would be waiting for me when I got home. But I doubted that was the case because I pulled up to an empty mailbox and Coll’s truck sitting in the driveway.

How long had he been home? Did he arrive just after I left? Was he caught up on sleep by now?

Should I knock?

Passing by his house, I tried looking in the windows but the blinds were drawn. So I parked and unloaded my car, slamming the doors extra hard in hopes that the noise would lure him out of hiding.

No such luck.

Lugging my bags up the steps, I ignored the urge to go over and beat on his door and headed into the house for the night instead.

I was too tired from my recent travels to fix dinner. So I grabbed a couple Pop-Tarts and a glass of milk and settled in on the couch. I flipped through the channels three times before realizing I wasn’t going to find anything to watch. Three hundred-plus channels and nothing was ever on. Such a waste of well-earned money.

Shutting off the TV, I looked out the window at the house next door, playing over the happenings of the fishing trip Coll and I had taken together last month.

A light clicked on next door, shining out the edges of the blinds. A shadow walked by. Back and forth, back and forth again before stopping right in the middle of the window.

I watched it while it seemed to watch me.

Was it waiting for something? Did it want me to come over? Make it dinner? A batch of cookies perhaps? Why? What for? To be ignored? Brushed off? Not feel worthy of the shadow’s time simply because I wasn’t ready to sleep with it just yet?

Pushing off the couch, I walked over to the window where I promptly rolled down my blinds. If all he was willing to offer up was his shadow, then he could have mine. But that was it. As far as I was concerned, this friendship—if it could even be called that—was over.

Stomping to the bedroom, I slammed the door and closed those blinds, too, fighting the urge to tear them down or break something. I’d only regret it later and then I’d hate him that much more. Only I didn’t hate him.

I hated what he was doing to me.

Why hadn’t he written?

Turning off the light, I crawled into bed. No sooner than my head hit the pillow his truck started up and he drove off to somewhere I wasn’t.

No way I was going to be able to sleep now.

*

“I’m not surprised.” Alyssa somehow made me feel even worse, taking a sip out of her champagne glass. “You hold out on a guy too long and they lose interest. It’s your own damn fault.”

“What are you hens clucking about?” Sonia asked, rounding the corner, kicking at the skirt of the most beautiful wedding dress I’d ever seen.

“Coll is avoiding Hailey,” Alyssa blabbed, gulping the rest of her drink before setting down the glass and motioning for another.

“Why is he doing that? What happened?”

“She wouldn’t put out, now she’s shut out.” Alyssa slapped her hands together. “Right in her pretty little face.”

Stepping up to the three-way mirror, Sonia smoothed the front of her dress. “That’s too bad.” Her spine went straight as if she just remembered something. “You’re still gonna be able to walk down the aisle with him though, aren’t you?” She twisted at the waist. “I wouldn’t ask, but everything’s set. Everyone’s already paired up.” She counted them off on her fingers. “Jan with Dale, May with Josh, Sadie with Scott, and Alyssa’s with Ethan.”

“The hell I am,” Alyssa interrupted, and Sonia gave her a death glare through her reflection.

“I wrote it in the binder, Alyssa. If I wrote it in the binder, it’s happening. Plain and simple. You’re the one who said you’d help out. Deal with it.”

“No. You deal with it.” Alyssa pointed at her. “You deal with how idiotic we’re gonna look walking down the aisle together. Boy’s three inches shorter than me.”

Pursing her lips, Sonia squinted. “Okay, fine. Alyssa’s with Coll. Hailey, you’re walking down the aisle with Ethan.”

Alyssa looked over and winked. I had to admit a tinge of relief ran through me. Ever since Sonia had told us the wedding was back on I’d been dreading having to interlock arms with the man who apparently wanted nothing else to do with me. Now I didn’t have to.

We spent the next half hour watching Sonia twirl around. A big smile lit up her face, and I fed off that joy until I wondered if it was Jason or the dress that made her so happy.

“All right. Well, I guess I’m gonna get out of this dress.” Sonia pouted in the mirror. “It’s still got a little wiggle room, so what do you say we go for some pizza after?”

Alyssa and I agreed even though we were both cutting it close with our dresses. Her in the chest area and me in my huge ass. The thing was only getting bigger from all the holiday food and lack of exercise due to my near death experience with the path behind my house. But I didn’t really care about that anymore. I just wanted to eat.

Once Sonia was ready, we walked down the street to the little pizza joint on the corner. I ended up eating nearly a third of the large pizza we ordered for all of us then took the leftovers home. I was polishing off another slice when there was a knock on my door.

My stomach turned and I just stared at it wondering if maybe I was hearing things. But there was no denying the retreating footsteps on the porch were Coll’s. I’d know the clunk of those old boots anywhere.

I waited on the other side of the door, listening as he stomped down the steps. I gave him enough time to make it back to his house before opening the door to find one of my plates sitting at my feet.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to avoid me,” he said as he rounded the side of the house and leaned up against it.

Me trying to avoid him?

The accusation was laughable. His playful demeanor infuriated me. But man, was he a sight for sore eyes standing there in jeans and a gray sweatshirt with that damn beanie on his head. I scanned his face quickly to see that it had pretty much healed by now.

Peeling my eyes away from him, I looked out over the bay. “And why would you think that?”

You’re the one who didn’t write.

“No reason. Just a feeling I get. So, are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Avoiding me.”

“No.”

What I was trying to avoid was any more of this awkward conversation. I missed us and our easy banter. Why couldn’t he have just written? Maybe then this weirdness wouldn’t have grown between us. Things could have stayed the same. Slowly progressing, but progressing nonetheless. Now we were at another standstill. A worse one.

“I meant to write, ya know?”

“Uh huh.”

“I did.”

“Sure.”

I heard him huff a laugh. “Okay.” Pushing off the house, he started to walk away, and I panicked.

“Okay, what?” I yelled at his back, rushing down the stairs.

He kept going, yelling over his shoulder. “Nothing.”

“Nothing? Nothing!” Fuming, I stopped in the middle of our two driveways. “Fine! Be that way then!” I yelled out like a mature adult capable of having a serious conversation.

Coll stomped up his stairs and disappeared behind the door before slamming it shut.

*

I spent the majority of the next few days hanging out at Alyssa’s, trying to avoid running into Coll as much as possible before the wedding.

Me staying there was probably a mistake seeing as all we did was lie around eating chocolate and drinking champagne. It was a miracle we still fit into our dresses when we tried them on the night before.

“You think he’ll bring a date?” Alyssa asked in the dark while we lay cuddled up under her blankets.

Shrugging, I turned to face her. “I don’t know. I hope not.”

“For his sake, I hope not either.”

We giggled then went silent, both probably wondering what would happen if he did bring a date. Nothing, I was sure, since I refused to cause a scene like I had the other day and would stop Alyssa from starting anything. The last thing I wanted was the attention on me. It was Sonia’s day, after all, and I was already embarrassed enough.

“So what about that cabby who took us to the bar that one time? Isn’t he divorced?”

“Timmy’s dad?”

“Yeah. He was kinda hot in a dad sort of way. Don’t you think?”

“No.”

“No? Why not?”

“Why not? Because he’s one of my students’ parents is why not. Plus, he’s old.”

“He’s thirty-six!”

“Yeah, like I said. Old.”

I could practically hear Alyssa’s eyes roll into the back of her head. I went to flick her chin but got her in the nose instead.

“Ow!”

“Oh, sorry.”

“You are not.”

“You’re right, I’m not.”

We laughed a little louder that time, both quieting with a yawn. The playing around was a good distraction. But when she turned away and said a mumbled goodnight, my mind started racing again.

I thought about Coll and that idiotic conversation all night long. It felt as if I’d just closed my eyes when the alarm went off and Alyssa pounced on the snooze button.

“Morning.”

“Mm.”

Alyssa was never much of a morning person. Not even when she slept in until ...
ten!

I sat straight up in the bed.

“Why did you set the alarm so late? We’re supposed to be at the reception hall by eleven to start setting up! Now we’re gonna be late!”

“Put a cork in it, would ya? You really planning on getting all gussied up to go decorate a pole barn?”

I didn’t answer.

“I didn’t think so.”

Yawning, she rolled out of bed and adjusted the bandana in her hair.

“Don’t worry. We’ll make it. And with plenty of time to stop for some coffee first.”

One cinnamon spice latte and hot chocolate later, we were walking into the venue to find Sonia had been up all night trying to perfect things herself. Once we had her calmed down and napping in the car, we finished up just in time for hair and makeup.

“I don’t know if I can go through with this.” Sonia started freaking again once we made it to the church. I sat idly by and watched as she paced around the dressing room.

Alyssa tipped her head to the ceiling. “Lord Jesus, be a fence. Girl, yes you can. Now be still and let this nice lady here finish your hair. Please. The sooner we get this over with the sooner I can go home.”

Nodding, Sonia murmured to herself as she sat back down, “Okay, okay. I can do this. I can do this.”

Alyssa and I exchanged a look, telepathically coming up with a plan if Sonia decided to make a run for it. I’d grab the legs. Alyssa’d go in for the tackle. But in the end I didn’t think it would be necessary. After Sonia was dressed and ready and standing at the doors she started crying. Tears of happiness this time.

One by one we preceded the bride down the aisle. I deliberately didn’t look up at the altar to avoid looking at Coll. I wasn’t ready to see him or his suit just yet.

By the time the groom kissed the bride and Alyssa intercepted Coll’s arm, I still wasn’t ready. And I spent the majority of the reception staring at the bottom of my champagne glass. If I wasn’t doing that I was dancing my worries away with Alyssa and Ethan, who I later caught making out behind an enlarged portrait of the bride and groom. As long as I lived I would never let her live that down.

I did a pretty good job of avoiding the people—one person—I didn’t want to see. It was nearing the end of the night when my luck ran out. I thought I felt his presence. The look on Alyssa’s face from across the table confirmed it was Coll standing behind me.

“How ‘bout that dance?” he asked.

I looked over my shoulder at him, forgetting to prepare myself for what I was about to see. But in the end there was no amount of preparing me for that.

His cuff links came into view first. They were silver and U-shaped, pointing upward over crisp white toward a stark black jacket sleeve. My eyes roamed up his arm and widened. His shoulders looked bigger somehow. Wider. The collar of his shirt had been loosened around his neck. His Adam’s apple bobbed and I reactively swallowed, taking in his freshly-shaven jaw, the smirk on his lips, and that stupid quirk that forever creased his brow. His eyes locked in on mine, and I couldn’t remember my name let alone what he’d asked me.

He held out his hand, and I looked down at it.

“I don’t think she wants to dance with you,” Alyssa answered for me. Closing my eyes, I subtly shook my head.

“Is that true, Hailey? You don’t wanna dance with me?”