Claiming the Cowboy's Heart (27 page)

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Seth’s injured side did not pose a hindrance to his sleep. But his thoughts did. He still didn’t know what he meant to say to Jayne.

Not that her friends and family had allowed him a chance to talk to her. Maybe they purposely prevented it. After all, he had left her. And they’d all seen her hurt.

But he would speak to her alone and he’d do his best to find the words to explain why he’d returned.

He rose early the next morning and made his way to the kitchen. Jayne was there preparing a bottle for Thor as he’d hoped.

“I’ll help you feed him.” Did she understand he wouldn’t accept any excuses to avoid him?

She nodded. “Come along, then.”

They traipsed down the hill toward the barn. Out of habit, he reached out to pull her to his side but the danger of a murderer watching her was over. And he didn’t want to cloud his mind with the joy of her pressed close. He dropped his arm and allowed a few inches between them.

Thor greeted them and bunted against Jayne in his eagerness for the bottle.

He didn’t say what his heart felt as the fawn sucked. It was too easy to be distracted by Thor’s playfulness.

“I found the key,” she said. She must have noticed his confusion. “The one Harry wanted.”

“I thought you didn’t know anything about it.” His blood thundered against the top of his head. Had she put them both in mortal danger for a lie?

“It was a key Oliver had given me with a heart-shaped locket. I’d forgotten all about it. I found it last night when I was poking through my stuff.” She ducked her head as if to check on the fawn but maybe also to hide her face from him. Did she regret his return? Maybe she’d been relieved to have him leave.

No. He would not entertain doubt. He would explain his reason for coming back and let her respond.

The fawn finished and turned to play with Smokey.

Jayne faced him, her eyes dark, allowing him to read nothing. “Seth, why did you come back?”

“I came to ask you to go with me.”

Her mouth dropped open. She closed it and swallowed hard. “Why?”

“Because I have to take care of my pa.”

“You don’t need me for that.”

He wasn’t explaining himself well. “On my ride south I started to recall things my pa said to me. Hard things.”

She nodded.

“He blamed me for Frank’s death. He had taught us to watch out for each other and I failed.”

“You didn’t fail.” She brushed her hand along his arm. “You tried to stop them. The choice was theirs.”

“I know that but I still feel Pa’s accusation.” He found strength in the look she gave him. “He said I would likely fail to take care of my parents, too.”

She squeezed his arm.

“There’s more.” His throat tightened so his voice cracked. “Pa told me I could never take care of a wife. I guess I believed him.”

She waited, a curtain closing her thoughts to him.

“Until yesterday.”

Her eyes looked hopeful and guarded at the same time.

He hated that he was responsible for the latter emotion. “Yesterday I stopped and thought of all that Pa said. I realized that just ‘cause he said it didn’t make it true.”

She nodded. “That’s so.”

“But even if it isn’t true, marriage is a risk. So many bad things can happen.”

“And so many good things.”

“Yes. I made a decision to trust God with the future and enjoy the present.”

“I’m glad.” Her voice was quiet, overly controlled.

“I want you to come with me. Meet Pa. I will have to stay and care for him. It’s my duty and I would never neglect him.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to.”

“Will you come?”

She lowered her head so he couldn’t see her eyes or read her expression.

“I can’t bear to leave you behind.”

“It wouldn’t be proper for me to go with you. An unmarried woman.” She shook her head.

“But what if we’re married?”

Her head came up. Her eyes widened. “Married? What are you talking about?”

He furrowed his brow. “Isn’t it obvious? I love you and want you to come with me.”

“Whoa, there, cowboy. Back up a minute. What did you say?”

He slapped his forehead. He’d forgotten the most important thing he meant to say. He tipped Jayne’s chin up and studied her eyes, her beautiful skin, her firm little chin.

He jerked his thoughts back to the words he wanted to get just right. “Jayne Gardiner, I love you with my whole heart. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, sharing the good times and the bad. Growing old and gray. I want to hold you next to my heart.” He patted his shoulder. “Right here where you belong. Jayne, will you marry me and make me the happiest man in the world?”

Her eyes filled with such warmth and joy he could hardly meet her gaze. “Yes.” She laughed. “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.”

He caught her to him and kissed her. When her arms pressed into his back he sighed. He’d come home where he belonged.

He ended the kiss and smiled into her welcoming gaze. “Does that mean you love me?”

“Seth Collins, I love you so much I wonder my heart doesn’t explode.”

“Is that good?” he teased.

“Oh, it’s very good.” She tilted her head to the side. “How long have you known you loved me?”

“I don’t know. I guess I knew it when you stood in my arms, insisting you would learn to shoot even though you were scared to death of guns.”

“It took you long enough to say it.”

He nodded. “I had learned to shut my heart to love and focus only on responsibilities.”

“I’m sorry your father said such unkind things. I expect he spoke out of his own grief and pain.” She pressed her palm to his cheek and he turned to kiss it.

He nodded. “I guess so. But if I ever say anything that hurtful please remind me of the power words have.”

“You mean like this? Seth, I loved you when you pulled that wad of money from your boot so intent on caring for your pa you would have bled to death trying to get to him. I loved you when you made sure I knew how to shoot. I especially loved you when you held my hand steady when I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I knew then that you were the kind of man who would walk at my side, helping me and supporting me.” Her voice fell to a whisper. “I thank God He brought us together.”

“About God. I have stopped shutting Him out, too. I prayed when you disappeared. I believe God led me to you and helped us escape.” He laughed. “Though you shooting Harry’s hand certainly made it possible.”

She shuddered. “I dare not think how close I came to shooting you.”

He shook his head. “I was never in danger. You’re a better shot than you know. Jayne, what about coming with me to see Pa?”

She pressed her head to his shoulder. “That’s something we need to discuss. It takes time to plan a wedding and make arrangements.”

“Time is something I don’t have. Pa has been alone for days. I don’t know if he’s being taken care of or not. I have to do my duty.” Not that it was duty alone that drove him. He had always planned to take care of Pa. That hadn’t changed.

She clutched his shirtfront. “I know. I can’t bear to let you go. But waiting for me will only delay you longer.”

He did something he hadn’t done in a very long time. “Jayne, let’s pray about it and trust God to provide a way.” He took her hands, pressed them to his chest and bowed his head until it touched hers. “Our Father in heaven. First of all, I want to thank You for Jayne. For bringing us together and for making her strong and brave. I don’t want to leave her but my pa needs me. Could You bless our love by providing a way for us to stay together? Amen.” It was the longest prayer he’d ever prayed and the most sincere and urgent.

“God will provide,” she whispered. “Now I promised Eddie I’d tell him anything he needed to know. I want him to know about us.”

Eddie, Linette and the others were gathered round the table for breakfast when they returned.

“Finally,” Mercy said. “Eddie was about to send out a search party.”

“No need,” Seth said. They stood side by side, facing Eddie. “Jayne has agreed to marry me.”

Eddie stood and grabbed Seth’s hand. “Congratulations. You’ve made a good choice.” He hugged Jayne.

The others clustered around them, offering congratulations.

“You’re getting married?” Grady asked.

Jayne hugged the little boy. “Yes.”

“Are you going to live here?”

She lifted her face to Seth. Her coffee-brown eyes promised so much he wanted to shout with joy. “I don’t know where we’ll live. We haven’t figured that out yet.”

Where were they going to live? What about Pa?

The questions hammered the inside of his head. If only he could stay here and forget his responsibilities. But he couldn’t.

Was their love strong enough to survive the uncertainty of their future?

Chapter Twenty

“H
ave you made any wedding plans?” Linette asked.

“No,” Jayne said. It had been only a few minutes since they’d confessed their love. She wanted to twirl down the hall, laugh with joy and stand out in the sunshine to shout to the heavens. She gave Seth a slow, deliberate look. He met her gaze, his forest-green eyes full of longing.

Mercy nudged her. “Ahem.”

Jayne blinked, smiled distractedly and tried to remember what the conversation involved.

But she couldn’t focus on anything apart from the questions burning her mind. When would they marry? Where would they live? So many things to work out. And so little time.

As soon as breakfast was over and she’d helped with the dishes, she hurried outside to find Seth.

He came around the house. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

Her heart swelled with sweetness to know he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

He held his hand out to her and they walked to the clearing where they’d spent so much time, and sat on the log.

“I will always think of this as our special place,” she said.

He pulled her close. “But this is your special place.” He pressed her head to the hollow of his shoulder.

“My place. I like that.”

For several minutes they didn’t move. She would gladly have spent the day there.

“We need to make plans.” His words disturbed her peace.

“I suppose we do.” She sat up and turned so she could watch his face as they talked.

“I love this country.”

Her heart leaped within her. Was he going to stay here after all? Dreams filled her head. A little home for the two of them. Visits with Linette and her friends. Keeping house.

He sighed. “If I had time I would look about for a piece of land to start my own place.”

She began to decorate a house—a big table in the kitchen so she could do lots of baking and canning like Linette did and entertain visitors. Maybe she’d make a quilt for their bedroom. Light flooded a secret place behind her heart. A place that until now had been unknown.

“But I doubt Pa will want to move.”

Her dreams disappeared in the blink of an eye. “What will you do in Corncrib?”

“I’ll work for ranchers. Do odd jobs. Whatever I can find that will allow me to be home every day to care for Pa.”

She touched his freshly shaven cheek. “I’ll help you.”

He nodded, his eyes flooding with so many things—determination, love, surprise, as if he didn’t believe that love possible. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“You go. Look after your pa. I’ll wait until you sort things out.” A lump in her throat cut off her flow of words.

He pulled her close, cupped his hand to her head. “It kills me to think of leaving you but I must.”

Perhaps it was only because her ear was pressed to his chest that his words seemed more like a growl.

They clung to each other, till finally a sigh rippled from him. “I’ll stay the day.”

Did the thought of only one day hurt him as much as it did her? She hoped so, yet she didn’t want to add to his distress.

“A day will be wonderful.” She would do her utmost to make it a day of sweet memories that would make him never forget how much he loved her and she loved him. Her decision made, she kissed him soundly. “Let’s go on a picnic.”

“I’ll enjoy whatever we do. So long as we are together.” He pulled her to him and kissed her. She sighed and leaned into his embrace. Maybe they could stay here and forget everything and everyone but this moment and each other.

But she wanted to know everything about him. She loved listening to the beat of his heart but wanted to listen to the words of his heart, as well.

So they returned to the house where Linette helped Jayne prepare a lunch to take with them. Jayne explained Seth would be leaving tomorrow and she wanted to be alone with him.

“I’m sorry you only have today,” Linette said. “Enjoy it to the fullest.”

They set out with no destination in mind, talking as they walked. They reached an open area that let them see the rolling hills that flowed away from the mountains.

“This looks like a good place.” Seth spread the blanket Jayne had brought and they sat side by side looking out at the vista before them.

For a moment, they didn’t say anything.

“What kind of house will we have?”

Seth leaned back on his elbows and tickled her neck with a blade of grass. “Pa’s house is small. Two bedrooms upstairs but he sleeps in a bedroom on the main floor. We’ll have our privacy.”

“I wasn’t worried about that. I’m simply trying to imagine your home.”

He sat up. “If I could start my own ranch, I’d build a solid house, frame or log. I’d start small and add on rooms as our family grew.”

She turned on her side to face him. “Family?”

He touched her cheek. “Don’t you want children?”

She brought his fingers to her lips and kissed them. “I want a little boy with dark brown hair and hazel eyes and the sweetest face in the world.”

“Jayne.” His voice thickened and he drew her in for a kiss. Then he smiled at her. “I want a little girl with coffee-brown hair and brown eyes that would make it hard for me to be stern.”

“Only two?” she asked.

“More would be nice.”

She sighed and lay back to look at the fluffy clouds overhead. “Tell me about your childhood.”