City of Fae (29 page)

Boots hammered. Orders barked. I’d lain there minutes, hours?

“Get the paramedic in here. Clear the area. Check for survivors.”

Opening my eyes, I blinked into the face of one of the Armed Response team.

“A live one here,” he announced, and then moved on. I didn’t have the heart or strength to tell him I wouldn’t be alive for much longer. They should save the others, the real people, not me. I was done. I heard shouts of “alive” and “dead.” More were alive, than dead. That was good. But we hadn’t saved them all.

“Alina! Oh God.” Andrews dropped to his knees beside me. He’d lost his coat and jacket somewhere, and his shirt gaped. His hair ruffled wildly about his face. His wide eyes spoke of horrors he must have witnessed. I wanted to tell him it was okay. It was over, and I was ready.

“Where are the paramedics?!” he bellowed.

I wasn’t even sure I had a body they would know what to do with. I didn’t have a heart to beat.

Andrews scooped up my right hand and a wave of liquid energy rolled over me. For a few seconds, I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think about anything but my hand in his. Time lodged, frozen in the moment. His warmth spilled through my veins, the very rich taste of him danced on my lips, and his thoughts opened to me. I witnessed myself, pale and limp on the floor. The crushing weight of grief pushed down. His grief. And the swell of emotion drowned out the fear; his fear.

He yanked his hand from mine and fell back.
Holy shit …
I panted, staring up, seeing nothing, because all I could feel, and see, and smell was him. His fear ignited mine. His exhaustion drained me. His life, his loves. The despair for his older brother. The love lost for a younger sister. How was that possible? A lingering sense of grief settled over me, grief for … me.

“W-what … ?” Andrews mumbled.

I blinked back into my moment. My body tingled. Pleasure and pain twitched through me. I breathed hard. I’d taken his draíocht. Panic and elation vied inside my head. I could feel the thrill of his energy working, threading through my broken body, fixing me as it raced. Revived, and very much alive, I turned my head and saw horror etched into Andrews’s face.

“What did you do?” he whispered.

We both knew the answer, but I needed to hear the words, to believe it. “I took your draíocht.” And broke the first law. I tried to think if I’d touched him before, if I’d touched anyone besides Reign, or the other fae. I couldn’t remember. I could barely think beyond Andrews. His memories bubbled in my head. Things I had no right to know; private moments I’d stolen.

He blinked and looked at his hands. I’d never seen such naked horror on someone’s face before. He curled his fingers closed and fixed wild-eyes on me. “I, er …” Clearing his throat, he tried again. “Can you stand? You look … better.” He on the other hand had paled, and he looked as though he might be about to pass out.

As I managed to somehow get my legs under me and stand, he reached out to help, and then thought better of it and backed off. “I’m okay,” I said, not wanting to relive how I’d seen myself near death through his eyes. “Go, help everyone else.” I wavered, but stayed upright. “Go.” I couldn’t be close to him. It was too much. I didn’t want his secrets, didn’t want to hurt him. But I had. One touch. How many other times had I touched him? I needed to know, for his sake. I had to think, to remember. My head was a mess, my thoughts a muddle. “Just go!” I barked.

With an acknowledging nod, he left my side, glancing back once, and not with a smile. I’d taken his draíocht and broken the Trinity Law. But that fact paled in comparison when I witnessed the carnage the queen had left behind. There was no going back to normal after this. The fae would be hunted. And I was one of them. Ducking my head, I stumbled from the arena, out of the plaza and out into the night. The press had gathered. Crowds of people milled about. Ambulance and police vehicles fenced in the front of the dome. Only once I was a safe distance away did I turn. The dome, with its twelve masts, lay draped in a second canopy of webs, its dazzling lights diffused beneath the queen’s blanket. News crews beamed the footage all over the world. She was gone, but her legacy was not.

Turning away, I tucked my chin in and hugged myself. These were my first steps in a new world, a new life. A curious thrill surged through me. Draíocht throbbed anew in me veins. I was free. My steps quickened. I was me. Alina. Out-of-work cub reporter who had somehow acquired a lifetime of emotional baggage in a few days. I broke into a jog, filling my lungs with cool night air. Sirens wailed behind me. The world was changing with every second. I’d survived. I was alive. We’d won. London was safe. I ran, Andrews’s stolen draíocht lending me an unbridled sense of power. Wind in my hair, kissing my face, burning my throat—I ran. My first steps in this new life were all my own.

Freedom was marvelous. Until I got cold, and hungry, and very lost. That’s what you get for running headlong into freedom without a plan. Still, it was worth it. In the early hours of the morning I found my way back to my Mile End home, but it didn’t belong to me. I didn’t belong in that life. I stood in the living room and didn’t like anything about the place. How had I ever lived there? It was gray and neutral and bland. Where was the color, the flare, the personality? I showered, changed clothes, and left it behind without looking back. Miles had set up that life. I wanted nothing to do with it.

Without a cent to my name, and only the clothes on my back, I walked with purpose. Sure, I didn’t have a job, or an address, or a birth certificate, or a heart, but that was wonderful. I was a blank slate, and I had big plans. I wanted to go to the movies, to dance in a nightclub, to get drunk and fall over. I wanted to laugh until it hurt. To cry at sad movies. I wanted more chocolate fudge cake, and to experience those intimate things I’d felt with Reign. These were all things people did, right? Thoughts of Reign dashed my dreams somewhat. I didn’t know if I’d see him again, and if I did, because of what I was, I wasn’t sure we could ever be close. I pushed thoughts of him aside and walked until my legs ached and my feet hurt. Headlines on newspapers declared the fae liars and monsters. Photos of the dome draped in web adorned every front page. I heard snippets of radio reports from passing cars. The fae were being rounded up. Some called for them to be sent away to special reservations. New laws were being written. The fae would be excluded from society until they could prove they weren’t out to eat us. Considering they needed humans to live, they weren’t going to be proving they were all sweetness and light any time soon.

And then there was me. Evidently fae enough to feed from Detective Andrews. I couldn’t deny how his touch had revived me. Or how I’d lapped it up. I wanted more. Wanted it like I wanted chocolate cake. But, if I was fae, then I couldn’t risk touching him again. What if the worst happened? What if I accidentally bespelled him? I wondered all of this as I knocked on his apartment door and cursed myself for even being there. I had no idea what time it was or what day it was, just that my feet had carried me back to him.

He opened the door and sighed, looking far from pleased. Leaning a shoulder against the frame, he crossed his arms and bowed his head. “Alina, you shouldn’t be here.”

Okay. I’d expected a hello, at least. “I, uh, I wanted to thank you, for everything.”

His restless eyes flicked up to mine. With a frown, he shoved the door open and waved me inside. I could smell coffee and toast. My stomach rumbled. “I can’t go back to my place. It doesn’t feel right, ya know?” I rambled. “Can I have something to eat? I’m starving.”

He tensed, shoulders squaring before he turned. “You can’t stay here.”

“No,” I said, and laughed a nervous bubbling chuckle. “No, I know … I mean. Honestly? I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

His expression tightened. “It’s been a rough few days.”

“They believe you now though, right?” Why was this so awkward? It hadn’t been like this before. Thanks to my stealing his draíocht, I knew him better than ever. He was a good man. Honest. True. And Sad. So very sad inside.

“Alina …”

“We got her. We survived. Why aren’t you happier?” He flinched as though my words had cut him. “It’s me, isn’t it? Because of the touch. I … I didn’t know that would happen. And, ya know, if it hadn’t, I’d be dead, so thank you.” He looked about ready to chew me out. “I think.”

“Alina—”

“Maybe I should go.”

“Just stop talking for five seconds, will you?” A tiny smile twitched his lips. “The FA still control the fae. They’re still liaising with the police and government. Are they legitimate?”

“No.” That there was a chance the general could still be alive had my skin crawling. Warren had healed quickly. Perhaps the general could too. “They were the queen’s pawns. Maybe not all of them, but enough.”

He nodded, not surprised. “The queen got to Miles. How many others did she get to?”

“I don’t know.”

“What about Under? Are the fae still down there?”

I shrugged and tried to ignore Andrews’s disapproving glare. I should go back down there. Armed Response had tried to get in and failed. Made of draíocht, I could walk right inside. For all I knew, Shay could still be locked up. And then there was the queen’s larder, if she had one. There might be people still inside. I’d go back, soon, very soon, right after I’d eaten. “Uh, are you having breakfast? I really am hungry, I mean peckish …” However I said it, it came out wrong. “Look, this is really awkward. I won’t touch you, okay. So let’s get that out there in the open so we don’t have to dance around the elephant in the room. I mean, it’s not like I don’t want to—wait, that’s not what I meant.”
Oh God. Stop speaking.
“You’re lovely and everything … I mean, before this happened, I would have, ya know …” I pressed my lips together and breathed in through my nose. I really needed to stop talking. “No more touching.”

He swallowed a laugh, and then a restrained bubble of it escaped his lips anyway. It sounded bitter. “It’s not funny.”

“No, it’s not funny,” I agreed, straight-faced.

“It really isn’t.” He snorted and pursed his lips, holding back more laughter. “I’ve not slept, at all.” The brightness in his eyes dulled. “I can’t for the life of me stop thinking about you. That touch. We’ve touched before—I don’t know how many times. Too many. You took part of me, my draíocht. I can’t close my eyes without seeing you. I’m caught, Alina, whether you meant it or not.” The sound of laughter turned bitter beneath his words. “I saw this happen to my sister. I know exactly what it is. And I can’t stop it.”

His smile was a sad thing, and it broke my silent heart. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.” He sighed. “You should be careful walking the streets. You don’t look fae, but people are nervous.”

I shuffled, contemplating just leaving. It would be the right thing to do. “Look, I’m not even really fae. Nobody knows what I am. The beginnings of bespellment will probably fizzle out.” The look on his face said he didn’t believe me. I didn’t believe me either. I was part queen, for heaven’s sake. “I guess I can’t stay for breakfast.”

“I don’t think it’d be a good idea.”

With a nod, I turned away.

“Alina, look. Besides the whole touching screwup, what you did back there at the dome, nobody really knows what happened, but I do. Thank you.”

I shrugged a shoulder. “I just did what I was made to do.” Hand on the door handle, I paused. If Andrews was falling under bespellment, then the best thing for me to do was walk away and never see him again. But I didn’t want to go. The observant detective had wormed his way into my heart. He was the only friend I had. He’d helped me as much as Reign, maybe more. He didn’t deserve for this to be happening. Neither of us did. “Danny, if you need me, I’ll be in Under.” I opened the door and stepped through. His final words sliced through my soul just as the door closed behind me.

“I won’t need you, Alina.”

Under was empty. As I’d expected it to be. The London fae were gone. The Chancery Lane entrance was too risky for them to be seen coming and going. They had scurried into the dark and hidden themselves all over again. Knowing the fae as I was beginning to, they’d hate it in the shadows. It wouldn’t be long before they’d reemerge.

As I looked human, I could walk right in without being spotted as fae. I searched the queen’s reservoir and found no sign she’d ever had a larder full of victims. But I would search the miles of intertwining tunnels that made up the rest of Under. The containment cells were empty. No Shay. I lingered there, listening to the distant rumbling of the subway trains. I really was alone.

“Thought you’d gotten rid of me, did you?”

I yelped. Reign leaned in the doorway, looking every inch the infamous rock star fae with his ridiculous boots, new coat, and perfectly styled messy hair making him appear artfully disheveled. I threw my arms around him and buried my head against his shoulder as he reeled backward, attempting to keep us both upright. His chuckle resonated against my chest, warming me right through to my soul; if I had one. I gripped him so tight, afraid if I let him go he wouldn’t be there, and I’d be alone again.

He gathered me up in his arms, and crushed me against him, so close I could hear his heart racing. He rested his cheek against my head and breathed deeply. Tiny tremors rippled through him and he murmured words I didn’t understand. Fae words, laden with significance. From his lips, the smooth melodic words sounded like promises. I squeezed my eyes closed and listened to his liquescent voice ebb and flow.

When he fell quiet, I whispered, “I don’t want to be alone.”

“We’re all alone, Alina. But you and I can be alone together.” Wetness blurred my vision. I didn’t want to let him go. He smelled wonderful and felt wonderful, and it was all I could do not to crush him in my arms. “I definitely need to breathe though,” he added.

With more reluctance than I cared to acknowledge, I let him go and hastily wiped my eyes. Some nightmare I turned out to be.

Reign hooked a finger under my chin, urging me to face him. “You don’t ever need to hide the truth of you, not from me.”