“Reagan, if only...” he began, but Reagan shook her head. “All right,” he conceded, his voice sounding weary and cautious. “I want you to become my wife and take care of my children.”
Reagan couldn't keep her mouth shut.
“You have children?”
“They're my sister's kids. She died a year ago, and I can't do it on my own anymore. That's the job I'm talking aboutâbeing my wife and mother to Sammy and Kara.”
Reagan felt sick to her stomach thinking about all his smiles, warm looks, and kind manner. He wasn't being friendly. He wanted to marry her!
“I'm sorry, Ty. I have no interest in being married, not to you or anyone else. It's nothing personal, and I can certainly understand why you didn't want to discuss this while I was on the job, but I'm not the woman you need.”
Tyrone Arnold was a desperate man. He needed a wife very badly. But he was also proud. With little more than a brief nod of his head, he turned and went on his way. He had thought the children would sway her. He'd worked for hours on the meal they would eat, not willing to tell her until the last moment that they wouldn't be going to a restaurant, so sure that meeting his niece and nephew would help her to see his position.
As he walked on, he determined that she'd never know how hurt he was. As tears of frustration and helplessness filled his eyes, he determined to walk away and never look back.
Still standing just where he'd left her, Reagan stood like a statue, her heart a lump of iron in her chest. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. He wasn't supposed to look so hurt and vulnerable. She didn't want to marry. Had he offered her a nanny's job, she would have heard him out, but not wifeânot now, not ever.
“Are you all right?” Cash asked from her side. Reagan had all but forgotten him.
“I'm always all right,” she answered without thought.
Cash made a small sound in his throat and took her arm. “Come on.”
“I want to go home.”
“You will, eventually.”
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“We're going to see Holly and Russell.”
“How do you know they're home?”
“Because I was already headed there.”
Reagan didn't respond, but neither did she argue. At the moment there wasn't any fight in her at all.
“Reagan, why did you agree to go out with this man?” Holly asked, trying to gain a clear picture with the little bit that Cash had shared. The four adults were sitting in the Bennetts' living room.
“He offered me a job.”
“Ty Arnold?” Russell questioned. “He builds houses.”
Reagan glanced at Cash.
“I found that out only this morning. The job he had for me was to be his wife and take care of his children.”
“I didn't know he had children.”
“He said they're his sister's kids. He said she died a year ago and he couldn't do it on his own anymore.”
The Bennetts were quietly shocked. They had been expecting Cash, but not with Reagan in tow. And not just any Reagan, but a subdued Reagan who had frowned at Cash at least once and looked over at him often. That she found him highhanded was obvious, but they both understood why he'd brought her with him. Had he not been coming for the evening, he probably would have dropped Reagan off and left.
“Why were you looking for another job, Reagan?” Holly asked.
“I'm trying to better myself, Holly. I don't want to bake cakes and wash pots for the rest of my lifeânot unless I'm running my own place.”
Holly nodded in understanding.
“I mean,” Reagan went on, warming a little to her subject and hoping that Cash was listening, “the secret to this life is knowing what you want and going after it. No one is going to take better care of me than I am, so I've got to do it to the best of my ability.”
No one in the room commented on this, and Reagan knew exactly what they were thinking. She stood, her movements agitated.
“Yes, you can all stay very quiet, you who have this knowledge about God, but not all of us share in that.”
“But you can, Reagan,” Russell said. “It's yours for the asking.”
Reagan knew that now was the perfect time to admit to them that the Bible had been as clear as mud to her, but pride kept her mouth shut.
“May I ask you something, Reagan?” Holly put in when Reagan remained silent.
The other woman nodded and sat back down. She had other friends in this town, but it wasn't her choice to be at odds with anyone, and these people had been more than kind to her; not to mention they were her landlords.
“I don't know what you have come to understand and what you aren't getting,” Holly began, “but I'll start by asking if you realize that
you
have to make a step here? God is waiting for you to humble yourself and believe. Does that make sense to you, Reagan?”
“I think so.”
“Why aren't you sure?”
Reagan looked at her lap. “The Bible hasn't been very clear to me.”
“That's no surprise,” Holly said, and Reagan was amazed at how often Holly took her off guard.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, the Bible is a love letter to believers. I can understand if it's not clear to you. Prior to someone coming to Christ, he doesn't have God's Spirit to help him. I'm not saying that a person can't understand, but when he doesn't, I'm reminded to whom the Bible is written. It's for Christians.”
“So how do I stand a chance?”
“You stand a chance because God says that anyone who asks may receive, and God never lies. You've told me that you understand what's being taught on Sunday mornings, but what I think you're missing is that you have to own that belief yourself. You can't just spend time around Christians and hope that what they have will rub off on you.
“You can admire us and be fascinated all you want, but until you reach out in faith to God, you won't have the eternal life we possess. We aren't going to love you less, Reagan, if you don't believe, but I would be no friend to you if I didn't tell you plainly what you need to do.”
“Like God being everywhere, but not in my heart.”
“Exactly. God doesn't force Himself on us. He'll only be in your heart if you'll open it to Him.”
Reagan was quiet for a moment, and the others let her be.
“May I think about it?”
Sitting across from Reagan, Russell and Holly both smiled. Naturally Reagan looked surprised.
“We're smiling,” Holly explained, “because I used to feel that a person must believe on the spot. Russell was the one to point out to me what a huge step believing is. God takes it very seriously, and so should you. You should not jump into this blindly. God requires no less than full commitment from His children.”
Reagan closed her eyes. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear this. Fear about what God would require of her filled her, and she wanted to escape.
“Would you care for anything to eat, Reagan?” Russell suddenly asked. “You didn't get dinner, did you?”
“I'm not very hungry, but thank you.”
With that she stood, knowing she could do so without offense. “I thank you for your hospitality, but I think I want to go home.”
“That's fine,” Russell said, his deep voice calm.
“Reagan,” Cash spoke. The small woman turned to him. “I'm very sorry if you're upset with the way I handled things. I just didn't want to see you hurt.”
“It's all right, Cash. I was upset, but I do understand, and I thank you for caring.”
Reagan moved to the door, thanking her hosts again, but Russell caught up with her on the front porch.
“Reagan, if you do decide to read the Bible again, work on the third chapter of John.”
“The third chapter of John? Is that the same as St. John?”
“Yes. The New Testament starts with Matthew, then Mark, Luke, and John. John 3. It's all there.”
Reagan sighed a little.
“Don't be discouraged, Reagan. Holly is a good friend to lay it on the line to you. Trust us when we tell you, God never hides from those who seek Him.”
Reagan looked into his smiling face and smiled in return as her heart reminded her that this man had been different from others she'd known. His life did not contradict his words. She could say the same for his wife and his friends.
Not willing to tell him that at present, she went on her way, thinking she might actually do as he suggested.
Katy Sims headed into the general store a day earlier than usual. Saturday was her usual day to stock the pantry and get supplies, but the big party always depleted her stores, and she thought Friday afternoon was as good as Saturday morning when she was low on sugar.
“Hey, Katy,” Lavinia called when she entered.
“How are you for raisins right now, Lavinia?”
“Just in.”
And with that they were off. Katy was one of the proprietress's favorites. She was picky to a fault and would brook no nonsense, but that she patronized her store spoke volumes to the other establishments in town.
More than an hour later, Katy finished and was ready to leave. She left instructions about the way she wanted things loaded into the wagon, telling Lavinia she had business down the street and she would return.
“You keep an eye on things, Luke,” she said as she did most weeks, addressing the new ranch hand who had been chosen to drive her. “I won't be long, so you wait for me right here.”
“Yes, ma'am,” Luke responded with the utmost respect, having taken his cue from a certain ranch owner, who, although he teased his housekeeper, still treated her like a cherished family member.
As usual Katy was in a hurry. The day was warm but not hot, and she was due for an outing, but having come into town in the afternoon put a damper on any kind of window shopping. She needed some molasses candy, the kind Cash liked, and only Reynolds carried it.
Katy was almost to the other store when Reagan sailed by on her bicycle. The older woman stopped in surprise. Reagan caught the movement out of the corner of her eye, and when she glanced back, she saw it was Katy. Reagan quickly turned and rode up parallel to the boardwalk.
“It's you!”
Reagan smiled, glad to see Katy. She had liked the outspoken older woman. Not sure why, she was nevertheless very drawn to her.
“How are you, Katy?”
“You're going to kill yourself!”
Reagan laughed. “No, it's fun. You should try it.”
Katy's eyes grew huge, but in truth she was fascinated.
“No,” she said, having regained her good sense. “I'd fall and break my neck.”
“No, you wouldn't. I'd help you.” Reagan glanced around. “No one's watching.”
“Oh, go on with you! I can't do that in town.”
Reagan smiled again.
“I'll have to come out to the ranch.”
Katy only waved her off, but Reagan thought she had seen a sign of genuine interest. Not even bothering to return Reagan's goodbye, Katy went into the store, found the candy for Cash, and went on her way. It didn't take long before she was back at the wagon, and after Luke helped her aboard, they started home.
In less than a minute, town and all she had seen were forgotten. Dinner had to be made and supplies put away. Anyone listening to Katy's thoughts would have said that she took her job too seriously. Katy would have scoffed at such a notion. There was nothing serious about it. It was her job, and it had to get done!
“You can help me unload, Luke,” Katy announced when they returned to the ranch house, the hand having taken the wagon around back so they were closer to the kitchen. His reply was a simple “Yes, ma'am.” He'd been told by the ranch's foreman, Brad Johns, to expect anything and to stay until he was dismissed.
The ranch house at the Rawlings Cattle Company was as modern as any home in the area, and the kitchen was no exception. It was a cook's dream for meals and baking. Spacious, with work area and floor space and a pantry you could walk into, the kitchen area allowed Katy to put out a meal for 30 without even breaking a sweat.