Circe's Recruits 3: Derrick (14 page)

“As far as this afternoon. Well, I feel…closer to Derrick, I guess you could say. I didn’t want to get together with the others. At least, the human part of me didn’t. I couldn’t control myself, and Roane wouldn’t let me go until we finalized things.” God, can my face get any redder?

Caitlyn stared a moment longer, then sighed and rubbed her eyes. “I don’t blame you for the bonding thing.” She took a deep breath. “I had to go through something similar when I first arrived. Roane gave me details of what he and you, er, what happened between you all.”

Sabrina hadn’t felt this awkward since her last real date years ago. “Yeah. About that.

There’s no chance at all I’ll conceive a baby with him or anything. Nothing we did could…

You understand what I’m saying.” Which made her think about the many times she’d had unprotected sex with Derrick. “Hell.”

“What?”

“Derrick and I, we --” She suddenly realized what Caitlyn meant about “going through something similar.” “Are you telling me you slept with Derrick?” Caitlyn flushed and defensively crossed her arms over her chest. “I told you. I had a similar joining experience when I got here.”

Jealousy flared, but then something curious happened. The beast within her tamped down the emotion, acknowledging Caitlyn’s right as the alpha’s mate. The notion that Caitlyn had had sex with Derrick before Sabrina entered the picture helped as well. “So, you were with Derrick and the others?”

“Yes. Do I need to paint a picture for you? I had sex with the guys. All of them. It was the only way Roane and Doc could think of to cement our bonding. And it worked.” Sabrina considered that, trying to put it all into a scientific perspective. Scientists didn’t blush. Scientists didn’t get jealous. And scientists didn’t fall in love with distracting, dominant Circs. “Makes sense. Your pheromones must have thrown them for a real loop. As Roane’s mate, they most likely saw you as an extension of him.” Caitlyn nodded. “I’ve never spoken about this with Kelly, though I’m sure she has an idea of what happened before she and the guys mated. I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t mention it.”

“Trust me, I didn’t want to talk about this with you.” Sabrina grimaced. “I can’t believe I even had anything to talk about. I’m not a very sexual person. Not a lot of boyfriends.” Try not any. “I didn’t have the time or energy for relationships while I was trying to figure out what to do about Pearl.”

They stared at one another for a moment.

“Have a seat.” Caitlyn scooted over, and Sabrina took the tentatively offered olive branch.

“Thanks.” Oh, hell, now she really had to apologize. “I’m not sorry for trying to leave this place, but I am sorry for choking you the other day. Never thought I’d hear myself say that.” She shared a grin with Caitlyn, and a subtle kinship grew between them. “Believe it or not, everything I told you that day in the labs was true. I’ve had a hard time trusting you all.

Not because you’re Circ, but because everything and everyone I’ve trusted since joining Project Dawn has been a bust. The military, Pearl, and then the government turned out to be skunks in disguise. Trust me when I say that Pearl’s Circs are nothing less than monsters.”

She barely contained a shudder, recalling Simon Dunn as he forced himself on an unwilling, murderous female in the throes of conversion. Of the breeding program Pearl had set in place, the malformed mutants attacked anything they could get their hands on. What they’d done to that one poor, unfortunate female…

“You’re all so different, so in tune with your beasts,” Sabrina said out loud to change the subject. But as she said it, she considered what that might mean to her.

“It’s natural by now. After so many years of being Circ, the guys are used to it. I was born with this ‘condition.’ Working with it makes it easier to bear.”

“Maybe for you.” Sabrina swallowed around a lump of fear. “Caitlyn, I’m not like you.

I’m something else. Those bad things Pearl was creating? I’m one of them.”

“No, you’re not.”

Caitlyn’s defense brought a knot of sorrow to her throat, because Sabrina knew she didn’t deserve it. “I wish to God I wasn’t, but it’s there, inside me. I’m not right, Caitlyn. And I’m worried.”

“Did you tell Doc?”

“He knows.” Sabrina sighed. “He’s trying, but I don’t think he’s going to be able to help me. Now that my beast has been freed, it’s growing fiercer all the time. Derrick…”

“Derrick what?” Caitlyn asked in a softer voice.

“Derrick says it’ll work out, and I want to believe him. I feel differently about him than the others.” She watched Caitlyn’s reaction. “They called us mates.”

“You know what that means?”

“I think so. Pearl used it to denote the ability to procreate between pairs. But with Derrick, it feels like a lot more. There’s an emotional aspect to this I hadn’t considered.” Especially after what I witnessed in the labs. I never would have thought the animal inside me could lo -- like --another so much.

Caitlyn nodded. “There is. Derrick won’t be an easy man to love.” Who said anything about love? Am I that obvious? Sabrina had it on the tip of her tongue to ask, but she waited, wanting to hear more.

“His mom never really accepted him, the changed him. And from what Roane told me, his fiancée cheated on him big-time. Broke his heart, though Derrick would never admit it.

He’s not a ladies’ man. I mean, he has sex a lot, sure.” Caitlyn colored, and Sabrina suppressed another surge of jealousy. Derrick used to have sex with others a lot. No longer. He’s mine, her beast roared. “My point is that he doesn’t trust easily. He tolerates Kelly and me because of his bond with the others.”

“He speaks of you with respect. I know he likes you both.”

“Yeah, he does now. But he’s always been standoffish. The bonding we celebrated changed that a little. With you, though, he’s different. I can tell.”

Sabrina warmed inside, then wondered why the hell Derrick’s affection meant so much to her. “This ‘bonding’ we shared. Will it calm the intense rush I get whenever I’m around him? Because I feel more deeply, and I think it’s because of my new Circ hormones.”

“Do you still feel a need to get lucky with the squad?”

“No. Definitely not with Roane or Hale. That was totally a onetime deal. And watching the way Zack and Ace look at me, like I’m one step away from being a convicted criminal, puts my back up. But Derrick’s different.”

“Because he’s your mate. Sorry, Sabrina. I don’t think that’s going to go away anytime soon.”

“Great.” Sabrina sighed. “I’m turning into a monster that’s crushing on a guy who’s unattainable. Perfect. As if I needed one more crazy thing to handle.” She stood, needing to think about what Caitlyn had said. “I appreciate our talk. And seriously, I have no urge to make a move on Roane ever again. Except maybe to slap him if he takes the last slice of pie Diego promised to make for tomorrow night’s dessert.” Caitlyn smiled, a genuine show of amusement that finally eased Sabrina’s misplaced guilt.

Sabrina nodded at the door. “You should go out there. They’re missing you at dinner.” Caitlyn stood. “Maybe I could eat.”

Sabrina left her with a good night and returned to her room. Deliberately locking the door behind her, she undressed and settled into bed, aware sleep would be a long time coming tonight. Derrick, as usual, refused to leave her thoughts.

Love. Why would Caitlyn mention love in conjunction with a basic physical attraction? Lust and love were forever being confused between sexual partners. So what that Sabrina preferred Derrick’s company? He was the lesser of the evils around here, or so she kept telling herself. Naturally she found him physically pleasing. Derrick Packard was a handsome man. Another fact. Just because she liked the way they interacted meant nothing more than that a friendship, albeit an odd one, was developing between them.

Unfortunately, all the common sense in the world couldn’t cure this warm, mushy feeling she had whenever she spent time with him. Her tie to Derrick went deeper than the sexual. He felt “right,” whatever that meant. Her beast pushed her toward him, certainly, but Sabrina the woman wanted just as much to spend time with Derrick the man.

She liked his outlandish comments, the way he bickered with his friends, his crazy bets, and the way he looked at her when he didn’t think she was watching. Oh yeah, she had it bad. But for the first time in her life, she had the feeling the object of her affection returned her interest. And what was she going to do about that?

If her suspicions proved correct, it wouldn’t be long before she began changing into a raging, out-of-control beast. She might hurt someone accidentally.

She might hurt Derrick.

Sabrina groaned and closed her eyes, wishing she could leave her problems far behind as easily as blocking out the light. Because no matter what form she eventually settled into, her life wouldn’t be the same without Derrick by her side.

Derrick pulled his head back from Caitlyn’s door and moved swiftly out of sight down the corridor. He rejoined the others moments before Caitlyn entered the room. A subtle nod at Roane told his leader all was well.

As Caitlyn made small talk and the mood in the dining room lightened, Derrick pondered Sabrina’s conversation with Caitlyn. She hadn’t seemed overly fond of their mating, which offended him deep down. Oh, he wasn’t happy with it either, but he had good reason. What the hell did Sabrina have against him?

The sex between them was killer crazy. And in a good, my-head’s-going-to-blow-off kind of way. Their rapport had eased the many days they’d spent together. He was abrasive; she maintained that acerbic wit, and everyone else avoided them whenever possible. A win-win in his book.

He never would have pegged Sabrina as the romantic type, but she preferred romantic comedies over action-adventure movies. Her reading material spoke volumes as well. Self-help books on top of the latest romance paperbacks. The woman was a bad date waiting to happen, except Derrick couldn’t envision her with any man but himself. What other guy would tolerate her lapses into “scientific-ese” when she conferred with Doc? What self-respecting man would allow a female to talk to him the way she did? She called him “genius,” “he-man,” and other sarcastic endearments with a twist of those full lips. Had she not been so worried, he’d have fucked that nonsense right out of her. But he held back, knowing she had a lot on her mind.

Unfortunately, he worried right along with her…when he wasn’t jerking off, thinking about her. Even Kelly’s wacko hormones had no effect on him. Only Sabrina and her wild scent called to him on every level. If Doc hadn’t warned him that sex with her might hinder her progress, he’d have been fucking her every night for the past two weeks. God, their bonding encounter had been perfection made real. Remembrance of Sabrina’s beast had him hard in two seconds flat.

Derrick ran a hand over his scalp, trying to control his lust, when a sense of foreboding stole his focus. Instinct told him to take note. Something was wrong with Sabrina. He was on his feet and mumbling his excuses before hurrying to her room.

He knocked on the door, surprised when she opened it. Derrick pushed his way inside and closed the door behind him, subtly locking it behind his back. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know.” Sabrina shivered. Her pupils elongated, then returned to normal. Her skin tone varied between pale white and light brown, striping in odd patterns not hidden by the large sleep shirt she wore.

“Looks like you need to change again.” He couldn’t help anticipating the sight of her beast. She was so damned pretty. “Let it go, princess. I’m here to help.”

“I want to, but I’m afraid.”

“The pain will ease up the more times you do it. You need to get used to it.”

“That’s not it.” She bit her lower lip, and he wanted to soothe the sting with a kiss.

“Derrick, you have to help me.”

“I will.”

He stepped closer, and she put out an arm to hold him back. “I need you to tie me up.”

“You want me to what?”

“Tie me up. You don’t understand. It’s coming closer and closer. It’s more than my ‘inner beast,’ Derrick. It’s that monster Pearl created. It’s growing inside me.” She looked on the verge of tears, and the lust in Derrick quickly transformed to tenderness.

“It’ll be okay,” he said gruffly, hugging her to him. “If you want me to tie you up, I will.

But you’ll need to change first. If you don’t, you’ll just tear through any binding, and the rope burns will hurt before they heal.”

She chuckled and wiped a tear away. “You’ve done this before, hmm? Kinky, Packard. I should have guessed.”

“You have no idea, baby.” He smiled down at her. “We went through a lot of experiments with control when we first changed. Restraints can work, but it’s really more about learning how much you can control yourself.” He sighed. “I knew it was too good to be true that you’d be into bondage.”

Sabrina seemed less bothered by his humor, which tempered his own anxiety. Her happiness translated into his own lately. Despite not wanting to be so attached to her, he couldn’t help feeling what she did. Instinct, his beast, hell, call it twin destiny, but Derrick literally “felt” his mate’s emotions. Doc had no idea what to make of it, though most of the other couples seemed to experience the same.

“Okay, you wait here for me. Don’t change, don’t do anything more than sit on that bed. I’ll be right back.” He waited for her to acknowledge him, pleased when she breathed deeply and nodded.

Derrick raced through the house to his room. Finding the small bag he needed, he returned to her, ignoring the grins and knowing looks his friends shot him as they passed in the halls.

He knocked once before entering and locked the door behind him. He found her sitting where he’d left her. She glanced up at him with dark gray eyes and smiled, exposing the glint of a sharp fang. The scent of sex filled the room, her pheromones binding him tighter than the damned restraints in his bag.

“Shit, princess. Give me a minute, okay?”

She rose and ripped off her sleep shirt, leaving her body bare.

Derrick moved like a man possessed. He fastened the restraints to the four corners of the iron bedposts, sure from experience they would hold her down. He turned to Sabrina once more and stripped out of his clothes.